Trying Too Hard (Part 3)
Summary: Realizing that the Avengers won’t let you go so easily, you try to adjust to life in the tower. Things don’t really go as planned.
Ship: will eventually be bucky x reader
italics = flashback
A/N: I wasn’t too happy with Part Two so I wanted to post again to make up for it not being the best.
“I really don’t want to do this.” You admit, looking up at Steve.
After finding your way to the training rooms, (which took awhile because Jarvis didn’t help you until you took a third wrong turn), Steve announced that you’d train with Bucky. First, everyone wanted to see if Hydra had actually improved the technology inside of your arm. Sam suggested that you arm wrestle and everyone agreed.
“Why? It won’t hurt anything.” Steve shrugs, and then he smirks. “Besides, based on what I saw at the Hydra base, I’m pretty sure you’ll win.”
Giving him a small, 91% fake smile back, you turn to face Bucky. He was already sitting at the table you’d arm wrestle at. It hurt to look at him. He was a reminder of Hydra to you, and a reminder that you were just a second, a copy of the original version. Even Hydra never truly cared about you. Of course, you also felt bad for what you did to him at the compound. As you approached the table, he looked up at you and gave you a half smile.
“Hi.” You greeted, sitting down across from him. “Look, I’m really sorry about what happened… It’s not your fault that I’m like this.”
“It’s alright, I bet seeing the person that you were meant to recreate isn’t the best feeling in the world.” He looks surprised by your words, probably because this is the first time you’ve ever actually talked.
Before an awkward silence could settle over the two of you, everyone walked over to the table. You looked around at the Avengers, who you now knew as Steve, Wanda, Sam, Natasha, and Clint. You’d also heard about Bruce Banner and Thor, but no one knew where they were.
“Alright,” Sam, who insisted on being the referee, leaned on the table and glanced between us. “contestants are you ready?”
Bucky grinned and rolled his eyes at Sam, placing his elbow on the table and holding out his hand for you to take. You did the same and grasped his hand tightly in your own. It was strange, knowing that you were holding something but barely even being able to feel anything other than pressure. You imagined it was the same way for him.
“Ready…go!” Sam announced, slicing his hand through the air in a starting gesture.
Immediately you felt Bucky trying to force your arm down, but you had more than enough strength to keep both of your arms vertical. For a moment you didn’t know if you’d have enough power to actually force his arm down. You heard Bucky grunt while your arm changed gears, and you saw your arm pushing his down. Vaguely, you could hear Sam commentating in the background. You heard Bucky’s arm trying to power up even more but it was no use, with a final push his hand smacked against the table.
“Damn, girl!” Sam laughed, patting you on the back.
You felt yourself actually smile a bit at how dramatic Sam was being. A surge of confidence overcame you. Even though Bucky was the original copy, you were the new and improved.
“It’s okay, Bucky.” You tease. “I’m sure we can get you an upgrade.”
As soon as you said it, the smile fell from your face. You weren’t sure if Bucky would be able to tell that you were just messing with him. Why did you even get so comfortable around everyone in the first place? You stare at Bucky, who was also staring at you.
Before you could even open your mouth to speak, he laughs, leaning back in his chair. You feel yourself internally deflate, sighing in relief. You definitely didn’t want to mess things up with anyone on the first day.
“Yeah, let’s just walk on back to the Hydra base and ask if I can have a new arm, too.”
You’d been living in the tower for about a week now. Steve had made you official training buddies with Bucky, so you trained every day for at least an hour. The two of you had become generally good friends, since you had quite the common interest. Sam also often hung around you. He was funny, and you liked that he could lighten the mood when you weren’t feeling the happiest. Steve was very nice, he had the aura of a big brother or a best friend. You rarely saw Clint or Natasha, so you and Wanda stuck together, being the only girls. Tony was a sarcastic asshole, but you found that he cares about people more than he let’s it show.
“Shit!” You exclaimed when a blue shell hit your car. Bucky sped past you while Sam suffered in 12th place. The three of you had been playing Mario Kart for the past hour. You’d won almost every tournament even though you had never played before now.
Once you could drive again, you had already been passed up to 6th place.
“No!” You complained, hitting Bucky on the arm.
“Ow! Jeez that’s metal, you know!” Bucky whined, trying to soothe his arm by rubbing it on the couch so he didn’t have to take his hands off the controller.
“I know, that was the point.” You admit before trying to grab the controller out of his hands.
“Hey! You dirty cheater!” Bucky yelled, trying to yank his controller out of your grip.
While you two fought each other, Sam took full advantage of the commotion and advanced up to first place. The two of you were far to occupied with beating each other up to notice. Bucky was trying to pry your metal hand off the controller with his own, while your flesh hand was jabbing him in the side to get him to let go.
You looked up at the screen to see that Sam had won the race while you two were fighting.
“No!” You cried out in defeat, shoving Bucky away from you. “Now neither of us won!”
“That’s what you two get!” Sam cheers, watching his character race around the track with ease.
“Hey, guys.” A more serious voice interrupts the playful atmosphere from behind you. You turn around and see that it’s Tony. “Can all of you meet us in the lab?”
“Um…” You swallow, not liking the tone of his voice. “Sure.”
You hesitantly stand up and follow Bucky and Sam out of the room and down to the lab. The closer you get to the lab, the more you find yourself tensing up. Whatever’s going on, it surely has to have something to do with you.
“The last time I was in a lab was when they cut my arm off.” You mutter under your breath, quiet enough so only the person next to you could hear.
Bucky just stares at you, eyes wide.
“What’s going on?” He questions as soon as you arrive at the lab. Steve and Wanda were already there, waiting.
“Well we were thinking about it.. and we realized that we’ve been putting ourselves in serious danger this past week.” Steve confesses, looking at you and then at the ground.
Of course it was about you.
“Bucky has trigger words that make him go all Winter Soldier mode, so we need to find out if you have those, too.” Tony takes over for Steve, who looks guilty.
“They never brainwashed me! It was easier for me to plan an escape with my conscious in tact so I just did what they asked!” The words are pouring out of your mouth.
“And if that is true, then good, no harm done.” Wanda nods. “Just let me look, just incase. You might think they never altered your mind, but they could have made you believe that. It’s easier to work with a weapon, not a human.”
You back up, clenching your fist.
“No! I told you to stay out of my head!” Your voice trembles. It feels like everyone is closing in on you and it reminds you of the time you spent at Hydra being an experiment. You know if there’s one person who understands, it’d be Bucky.
“Bucky,” You turn to him. “please.”
You see Bucky open his mouth to speak, when suddenly you are ripped from the present and are shooting through the past. Your body feels like it’s being pulled taut, like a puppet on a string. Your time in Hydra flies through your mind, reversing and fast forwarding. An image flashes before your eyes that you’ve never seen before.
You’re strapped down to a chair at the Hydra compound. Panicked screams of pain echo through the room, and you realize they’re from you. There’s a man that you’ve never seen before, pacing in circles around you as he reads in Russian from a book.
You scream, trying to break out of the restraints.
You see yourself in the present, before you flicker back to the past. You growl in pain. It feels like icicles penetrating your skull.
For a moment you see nothing, before you flash back to the present. The two alternate like strobe lights. You double over and fall onto your knees, hitting the ground with such incredible force that your fist cracks the ground.
You only see the present. You rise up, slowly.
The switch is flipped.