making this hole thing was a pain

8-10 / 8-11 Sunahama Updates

And a few other missed things.

RECAP

【Kcalb】
His body is covered in a variety of injuries.
He developed a hole in his stomach, too.
Someone please help him.

【Etihw】
Had a sheltered upbringing. Never had to go through any painful experiences.
The old man had to teach them about some things after that.
Alright, alright ♡

【Satanick】
His mind is filled with lust.
Makes odd things and such as a hobby.
In the good ol’ days he was a person of great influence…

【Worthless Roach】
This thing seems to be playing innocent, but just know that it’s paying for its past mistakes. Hooray.
I think it’s one of those straight boys…?

【Siralos】
Has dressed in feminine clothing since ancient times.
Seems to want to become friends with Etihw.
Recently, Satanick’s influence has gotten him into cosplay.


Siralos: Pervert.
Satanick:  Aaahhhh~ That’s rrrriiiiiiight, I’m a vulgar pervert, a piggish mannnnnnoOOOOhhh~


((Translator’s note: I want to die.))


???: Shudduuuup…


Undersea, Oversea

I wasn’t planning on making a short manga in my spare time.
Really.
My, uh, alter ego decided that (and then died of foot corns).
I went abroad recently and my stomach was in bad shape the whole time.


Every non-virgin woman’s nightmare after they’ve finished waking up

?: Why’d you puke? Morning sickness?
R: ………………..


Even Prosperity Will Inevitably Decay?


Observation

First time participating in @bibliophilicwitch‘s Sunday Tomes and Tea. <3

“Sorry.

Sorry means you feel the pulse of other people’s pain as well as your own, and saying it means you take a share of it. And so it binds us together, makes us trodden and sodden as one another. Sorry is a lot of things. It’s a hole refilled. A debt repaid. Sorry is the wake of misdeed. It’s the crippling ripple of consequence. Sorry is sadness, just as knowing is sadness. Sorry is sometimes self-pity. But Sorry, really, is not about you. It’s theirs to take or leave.

Sorry means you leave yourself open, to embrace or to ridicule or to revenge. Sorry is a question that begs forgiveness, because the metronome of a good heart won’t settle until things are set right and true. Sorry doesn’t take things back, but it pushes things forward. It bridges the gap. Sorry is a sacrament. It’s an offering. A gift.”
Craig Silvey, Jasper Jones

anonymous asked:

I honestly don't know what to say that could make you feel even marginally better. Hell, nothing probably will be able to for quite some time, and your pain is causing me secondhand pain because I don't like to see anyone with that gaping hole in their chest--but, I want you to know her passing wasn't in vain. I've started reading up about the ugly thing that took her away, and owning two GSDs myself, I've started to appreciate each new day with them. Solstice will always live on in my thoughts.

Thank you. You’re right, nothing helps but time and each day is a fraction easier. There are of course still moments I’m brought to my knees in tears by thoughts of her and I don’t expect that will ever stop entirely, just get less frequent. This week will probably be especially bad until her birthday passes. And then the next solstice day. I’ve had a lot of support and great messages from lots of people though and it does help.

One of the biggest things right now that gets me is her bed. It still has the indentations from the last time she was laying in it. It needs to be vacuumed but I don’t think that is happening for a long time. Fortunately her bed is in her crate so I can close the door and keep the other animals from getting in there. I just need to leave those indentations there for a while.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading on mesenteric torsion as well. Of course second-guessing myself even though I know I shouldn’t, but I really don’t think there is any second-guessing with this one and as horrible as it is, it does help me accept there was nothing I could have done better to save her. It is so, so fatal and there is no definitive cause or way to prevent it, just correlations. I keep running my mind over all the things we’ve done, all the food she’s had, all the activities we did, basically everything the same that Ryker did and so far he’s still fine. Despite the correlated causes I cannot pin one down for Solstice. Everything we did in the days and hours leading up to her death was completely normal for us and stuff we had done 100s of times. It’s a horrible, horrible fluke that it happened to her as seems to be the case with the other dogs who’ve suffered it.

I did email her breeder to ask if she knew of other white shepherds who had this, either in her lines or not. Definitely not for any blame, as I made clear, I’d still be glad to get another dog from her when this is far enough behind me that I wouldn’t unfairly compare her to Solstice (years, probably, and esp if Chandra is bred in 2-3 years and we keep a puppy). But just for information. Some people suggest a genetic link, but again nothing proven. Haven’t received a response yet but it hasn’t been that long since I emailed her so no surprise.

I’ve been making my way through the necropsy reports on the white shepherd database page. Haven’t gotten very far yet but so far have found two dogs with mesenteric torsion, one of which died at 3 and does share three dogs with Solstice within five generations on his father’s side, not sure yet about his mother’s side. The other was 10 and born back in the 90s so I haven’t yet found full pedigree info.

I think a lot of people have been reading about this since Solstice passed. For all my years loving and owning GSDs, I had never heard of this until now. Seems to be the case with most people whose dogs have suffered it. We all know about bloat/GDV, but not this.

Last night I had this super articulate paragraph about the uniqueness of loving New York and what it does to you. This morning I woke up and the hole in my heart was still there, but there wasn’t anything articulate about it anymore, it was just plain and simple pain. And maybe that’s it, that’s the thing about New York, every time you think you’ve grasped what it means and you want to wrestle it down, finally make people understand what this city is and how it absolutely destroys you in the best way possible, every damn time it wriggles out of your grip again and again and again. Leaves you alone in the dark, your heart beating as one with the pulse of the city, your mind spinning like the lights on Broadway, your heart bleeding like every heart that doesn’t need anything to survive, but the city that never sleeps.

Had a super rough set tonight and got in a fight with my best friend who is literally crashing at my place so I found myself missing the comfort and safety of that beautiful boy’s arms so much I nearly visited his profile for the first time since we officially ended things. It was times like these he was the only person that could make me feel any better and I just wanted to see his face. Thankfully the universe had other plans. My phone autocorrected his name to “shame” and one of the first things to pop up was “shame on you” which was totally what I needed. Shame on me for trying to fall down that rabbit hole. Seeing his pictures and life will only bring pain and I have too much going on in my life to wallow in the loss of a person who doesn’t want me.