Oh, those tender Olicity moments! So beautiful. Loved how he didn't burst in saying "You'll be okay", "you'll get through this", "you're so strong" etc. Phrases we use to give strength and motivation to people struggling. Because he knows she is more than strong enough, she's the strongest person he knows - she doesn't need it. (PS. I couldn't spot the engagement ring in the last (very painful, might I add) scene. Either I'm mistaken, or we're getting the expected break-up!)
So many Olicity feelings tonight, anon, so many. Gah.
(I mean, am I supposed to be okay while watching those awesome opening scenes? Really?)
I was admittedly surprised when we found out Oliver wasn’t at Felicity’s bedside, but at the same time, it makes so much sense. If there is one thing we’ve learned about Oliver, it’s that he’s a survivor, and a lot of the time surviving includes compartmentalizing. That is exactly what he did in this episode - he put Darhk in one box and Felicity in another. One is far easier to deal with, and it includes beating the shit out of people, which also feels nice when so much of your world is spinning out of control. It also gave him a reason to not go see her, to not face her without having something (even though logically he knows he doesn’t need anything, he still has to have something to show he’s doing everything he can to get Darhk).
But then, when he did…
(Really, when Donna took a moment and chastised him, can we all agree that was perfection? Her baby’s in the hospital and Oliver is off doing who the fuck knows what… *beating the shit out of people for her daughter, but she can’t know that*)
God, these two love each other, don’t they? I mean, they love each other, and they know each other so well. Felicity knows what Oliver is doing, and why, just as he knows that Felicity would understand his need to do what he’s doing… but there are limits, as they touch on…
(Are those tears in his eyes? Oh dear god, this scene hurt enough. How beautiful, I’m crying. Oliver is on the edge here, people, he is on the edge and he’s teetering and that he’s recognizing it shows how much he’s grown, character-wise, as well as showing us how much Felicity’s helped him to this point - both her and Diggle.)
The best part of this was that Oliver conceded - yeah, he might have gone a little overboard, and it leads to a beautifully heartfelt conversation that Oliver desperately needed to have with the one person he had to tell: what if he’s failing - failing her - because he hasn’t gone far enough? What if he needs to lose the humanity to get Darhk, be the Oliver from Season 1?
Felicity has none of that though, and that’s something he needed to hear, from her specifically:
“What’s the point of doing it if you lose yourself in the process?”
It’s also at this point that Felicity reveals her fears, that maybe it wasn’t just Darhk keeping Oliver away from her, that it was more, and Oliver squashes that so hard and fast we barely have a chance to catch our breaths:
He’s carrying it with him, help me…
And you know why this was so important, because it’s a reminder that while Felicity is strong, so, so strong, and that she is the light in Oliver’s life he simply cannot live without, she also needs him, needs him to be there, and the fact that he turns around and puts the ring back on her finger, that he says…
Means that he’s there, and that he might have relapsed a little bit earlier by disappearing, he’s recognizing it and he’s going to rectify it.
And then we see how far Oliver’s willing to go, because he needs to get to Darhk, so he lets Anarky go, which leads to a whole trundle of fun trouble, after which he has a little meltdown because holy shit why can’t he just get the fucking bad guy. But instead of slipping further, falling into the darkness that will always live inside him… he chooses the light.
He goes to Felicity… where they proceed to rip my heart to shreds with feels:
This was so important. This isn’t physical strength, this is emotional and mental strength. This is looking into the void when everything is falling apart and saying, “Hell no, I’m going to stand strong,” which is everything Oliver has always done, he just can’t see it. But Felicity can, and she does, and she tells him so. He’s marveling not at her strength, but that someone so strong and amazing loves him, is in his life and is by his side - forever - and she’s saying, “Because that’s you too.”
The Olicity scenes in this episode were so on-point.
The difference is so incredibly stark.
One, she’s definitely not wearing her ring, and two, there is so much distance between them now, indicating that yeah, some serious shit goes down in the next four months.
(The most heartbreaking part of this though, is the way he puts his hand down - there is anger and tension and pain and uncertainty all over this scene, and the way he puts his hand down, it’s almost like he wants to reach over and take hers. He wants to comfort her just as much as he wants to seek comfort from her… but he can’t, and that was the most telling thing for me, it was what made me look at her hand because I knew something was wrong when he did that.)
Is it a breakup? Eh. I doubt it. A break? Perhaps! Calling off the engagement? Surely! (akaeverythingi’vewantedforolicitysincedayone)
What I love about this though is that they foreshadowed the shit out of Olicity this entire episode, and then ended with this… because they know just as much as we do that Olicity is endgame. It won’t be easy, they will have such a long and hard road ahead of them, there is so much weight to these words:
“For better or for worse.”
We’ve seen the better… now we’re going to see the worse part.
Such a great episode, I thoroughly enjoyed it!