Last of the American Girls
- She puts her makeup on like graffiti on the walls of the heartland: Cancer, Leo, Libra
- She's got a little book of conspiracies right in her hand: Taurus, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces
- She is a paranoid endangered species headed into extinction: Gemini, Scorpio
- She is one of a kind: Aries, Capricorn, Aquarius
- Well, she's the last of the American girls...