making me feel like i am the youngest

3

Wednesday and Amelia are spending their weekend house sitting/baby sitting Amelia’s youngest sister Temperance, who is most likely going to be their little flower girl.🌼

The reason I’m so negative about recovery is, recovery from childhood trauma requires re-processing events that happened when I was a scared child, with the mindset of an adult who is safe and secure. I have to take memories that I cannot even speak, and translate them into something comprehensible that will not overwhelm my mind/body/emotions. I have to learn how to accept being abused as a memory, part of my history, rather than something I relive every day. Remembering and reliving aren’t the same.

The thing is, my traumatic memories don’t belong to my adult self. When I have flashbacks, I AM that little kid. Not WAS, I really AM. He’s there, shaking and crying and bleeding still; he’s alive in the present. He holds that trauma. He’s who I am when I try to talk about it. Depending on what memory I’m trying to discuss, I’ll regress to whatever age it occurred, and the things that hurt the most happened at the youngest, most inarticulate ages. Scared kids don’t talk, they wail or stammer or struggle to speak anything coherent or anything at all. My therapist has moon sand, play-doh, paper and markers, and dolls that help me communicate a bit when I’m nonverbal, but it’s still really tough.

I can’t reapproach my trauma as an adult because I’m a child when I go anywhere near it. It’s not in the past. Body memories and flashbacks make me feel like I am a little kid getting raped right here, right now. It has to be over for me to process it. It’s not over. I’m really hopeless and I’m nowhere near being able to make substantial steps forward right now.

Averted

Hi, thank you for liking ‘Am I Doing it Right’, it makes me feel happy you enjoy it! This is super short and I feel like half-way through I totally diverted from your prompt and I am absolutely sorry this turned out like this (sort of)! Nevertheless, I hope you will still enjoy this and thank you for sending in your prompt!


“Sister, will you not be joining the two of us on patrol tonight?” Damian asks as he stops to stand beside you, staring at you expectantly. You look away from the monitor to stare at your youngest brother. “Grayson is starting to become a boring company.”

Dick scoffs as he appears behind Damian. “Damian’s roundabout way of saying he misses you.” Dick chuckles at Damian’s dignified look. “Will you be sitting out tonight as well?” Dick looks at you.

Dick doesn’t really mind you missing out patrols. He knows you are still working through a lot of things just so a lot of the criminals do not create more havoc - like the first time when they figured out Bruce had… disappeared. But he really does miss having you around during patrols too. 

You shrug your shoulders. “Since you are asking so nicely,” You wink at your brothers.

“Tt.”

Damian is not going to deny the fact that he does in fact miss having you around with Grayson and him. As much as he thinks Grayson and him make the best team, Damian cannot help but think the both of you – Damian and you that is – would make an even better team! Not that he will ever tell this to Grayson, anyways.

“Sure.” You finally agreed. You have been sitting far too long in front on the computer anyways and you are starting to feel a little bit claustrophobic from the lack of sunlight and moving from the chair. “I mean unless we decide to do something else.” You look at your brothers. “I vote we have a sparring session instead.”

Dick, having known you longer than Damian has, immediately understands what you are trying to suggest. “Loser gets to do whatever the winner says.”

Damian frowns. “It is rather impolite for the both of you to have a conversation over the top of my head.” He huffs as he crosses his arms.

Dick laughs as he pats Damian’s shoulder. “This is something Y/N and I used to do all the time when we were younger. Back when Bruce…” He trails off before clearing his throat, not wanting things to be very awkward because the subject of Bruce is still a touchy subject. “Basically, we have a sparring session – two out of three wins the thing but instead of just letting it be a sparring session, we make it a little bit interesting.” Dick explains.

“Tt. So far, it simply sounds like any normal sparring session. What is the incentive?”

You chuckle. “Other than bragging rights, my little brother?” Damian shrugs, prompting you to continue. “Loser has to listen to whatever the Winner has to say for the next 24 hours!” There were times when you lost to Dick and he made you practice Gymnastics together – back then you were not even flexible at all – and there were times when Dick lost to you, so you made him learn how to tango, salsa and every single dancing you had to learn for Galas. All in all, the both of you ended up learning new things – you, gymnastics and Dick, knows how to work his way on the dance floor.

Damian smirks. “Now you are talking about something interesting. I vote we do this sparring session.”

Dick grins. “Let’s move out of here and in to the training room then.”

The youngest hour of the day

Holds me

In its stillness,

In its quiet.



I like to convince myself

That this is what dying must feel like;

A frozen moment

Suspended in grey silence.



It felt like 1 am

When you drove away.

And it’s been 1 am

Since you left.

— 

I just want to make it through the night.

-D.K.

[TRANS] Jin - One year Anniversary Letter

Hello. This is Jin.
It’s been one year since we introduced ourselves to you and BTS, and it’s already our one year anniversary. I don’t know if BTS has brought good memories for ARMYs. Thinking about how it’s already our one year anniversary brings new questions to mind. Like if you’ve seen us grow, how much we’ve been able to show you, how ARMYs feel about our one year anniversary..Looking back on our past year is also a time for me to think about my own self.
Honestly, I was scared about how I would be as the eldest in BTS. I wondered if I, who have always been the youngest, could be like a fence as the eldest. For me, the older brother’s role was always an awesome one, to support the younger ones and make sure they don’t fall. I’ve been having the same worries now as I did one year ago.
But I think I’m lucky that I am the eldest in BTS, and not somewhere else. Namjoon, who is a pillar for the other 6 members. Yoongi, who acts like he doesn’t care, but takes care of you behind your back. Hoseok, who always provides endorphines. And the 3 youngest members who always listen to the older members.
Although I am still lacking, it is because these friends make up for what I lack that I am able to play the role of the eldest. I want to thank the members.
Another existence that I am even more thankful for is our support, and us in another form. ARMYs.
Sometimes, I get tired, but the endless energy that ARMYs give is what allows me to work hard and not get tired. What the ARMYs mean to us is not something that can be expressed in words. Thank you for accompanying us for one year, and I hope we can make more memories in the future.
As time goes by, and I write these letters, I feel like we are getting closer, so I am happy. Thank you for always being there for us.
Let’s become happier~
From Jin.

2

One Year Old // Lennon Carson Michels

Happy first birthday to my youngest baby. I cannot believe you’re already one! It only feels like yesterday when I found out that I was pregnant with you, my love. I am so overjoyed to be your mother, nothing in this world makes me happier. 

Your father, myself and your brother love you so so very much. ♥

Glass drippin' honney (NCT). Episode 7. Interlude.

Pairing: NCT x Reader (giant mess with multiple options romance).

Characters: Reader, Ten, Yuta, Jaehyun, Winwin, Taeyong and Johnny.

Warnings: Cursing words, violence, death mention and sexual innuendos.

Modern angel/ Demon AU.

Word counting: 1.170

A/N: This is an interlude but it really matters for the story’s course so don’t skip it. Another thing: please mark a like on this if you read it so i can know if people are reading and if you guys like it because this is super long and i dont really want to spam too hard if people is not interested hahaha.

Summary: The summer break after your high school graduation is coming to an end but an unexpected occurrence makes your life turn 180º. You get immersed into a new sphere where you can trust no one and the good and bad guys can’t almost be told apart.

Ep.1- Ep.2- Ep.3- Ep.4- Ep.5- Ep.6- Ep.7- Ep.8- Ep.9- Ep.10- Ep.11- Ep.12- Ep.13- Ep.14

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@harunnn replied to your post : Uuuuuuuggggghhhhh I don’t wanna go to work

Aw Ti! How long are your work days? *pets your head*

*is pet* Only like, 3 to 4 hours depending, but. It ends up stressful since I’m a) the youngest in the office, b) people sometimes try to make small talk which I am very bad at and c) the jokster guy of the office tends to tease me whenever he passes by, but anxiety means that teasing just freaks me out

I'm his mother now (Liam Dunbar Fluff)

Request: 

Originally posted by theoraekens


A/N: I love Liam so much. This was such a cute idea. Lots of fluff. I hope you like it! ❤ Also I did this on mobile. I apologize for any errors!

Warnings: None

Being one of the only humans in the pack meant that you felt a bit inferior to the rest of your friends. But Derek was always telling you how important you were to him and recently you had become a big part of another werewolf’s life. Little Liam. Liam was Scott’s new Beta. He was the youngest of the pack and obviously required the most guidance and attention. Especially from you.
Rain poured down from the sky as you watched out for the return of you friends from the loft window. The pack was out and about searching for the missing teen. A friend said she had been spotted last with camping gear on top of her car so your boyfriend along with your other supernatural friends went out on a search. You had spent the evening cleaning up the loft and cooking some soup. It was becoming colder out and you felt it was the perfect weather for soup. Music was playing in the background through the large stereo. You had worked hard making this drafty loft a warm and cozy home for you, Derek and his pack. Everyone was becoming so close, just like a family. Your ears picked up on the sound of keys unlocking the loft door. You went to greet your boyfriend with a quick kiss. “Well any luck out there?” You asked while holding the door open for the rest of the gang. Only Scott, Stiles, and Liam followed in. “Nada.” Stiles answered while shaking the rain from his jacket. Everyone was dripping wet. You began to take their jackets and pass out towels. “Oh my goodness you are all drenched!” The maternal instincts were kicking in again. The guys all brushed off your statement but Liam did not. His lips were tinted blue and he was shaking. “Liam honey are you alright? You don’t look so well.” He looked up at you with big puppy dog eyes. His voice was barely a whisper. “I uhm I don’t feel so good actually. I am so cold and my head is hurting.” Without thinking you brought your hand to his forehead. He was for sure running a temp. “ Follow me Liam let’s get you some dry clothes ” The youngest werewolf followed behind you like a little lost pup. He was actually glad that you had taken interest in his needs.

You laid out fresh dry clothes for him and left the room while he changed. You hurried back into the kitchen to make him a bowl of soup. “Thanks Y/N. They are big but comfy. And not to mention they feel better than my wet clothes. ” He said while entering the kitchen. His smile was bright and his eyes beamed with happiness. “Liam it’s no problem at all. I love taking care of you. You were brought into this life so young. Now here is some soup. Eat the whole bowl and drink the broth. It will make you feel better. I promise. I’m going to get you back well again. ” A smile spread across your face this time. His happiness was contagious. Having him around like this was something you could get used to. Liam took a seat at the bar in the middle of the kitchen. The dishes needed to be done so while he ate you joined him in conversation while cleaning. He spoke of what info they found today while tracking the missing teen. Everything was still a bit fizzy but they were coming close to finding a pattern with this case and the 3 others before her. He was so passionate when he spoke. Thinking only to yourself he is going to be a great and powerful wolf some day. “Done!” You heard Liam exclaim while his spoon made a slight noise landing in the empty bowl. “Good job! Now let’s go to the living room. Its time to rest. Sleep will speed up the healing process. ” He nodded at your words while following you into the next room. A spot on the couch had been prepared just for the sick boy. Fizzy throws and pillows were all around. “Y/N could you sit with me until I fall asleep?” Liam asked softly as if he was afraid you would say no. “Of course I will.” You sat down first on the large couch. “Come and sit.” You motioned for him to join you. He did and you placed a pillow over your legs and pulled him down to lay on your lap. He cuddled up closer for warmth and you covered him with a blanket. Without actually thinking you were now running your fingers through his damp air and humming a lullaby that your mom used to sing to you as a child. Liam seemed to love this and he turned to face you and cuddle even closer. It didn’t take 5 minutes and the young Beta was out. Light snores escaped from his lips. You couldn’t help but admire how precious he looked in this current state. He was so young and vulnerable. He needed you more than you could ever know. Across the room Derek, Scott and Stiles were all reading through maps and papers. Stiles was the first to notice Liam sleep talking. You were almost asleep when their conversation woke you up. “I think Liam just called Y/N mom.” He said while staring over in your direction. Raising your head up a bit to get a better look you too noticed Liam’s conversation. He must have been dreaming. You could barely make out what he was saying. The 3 guys walked over to the couch and Liam repeated himself. It was just above a whisper but you heard it plain as day. “Y/N its okay….you…you are already the best…. mom in the world. I love you. Thank you..thank you for everything mom.” A smile broke out across your face. “This doesn’t bother you? He thinks you are his mother!” Stiles whisper yelled. “Hush its fine. I am proud to be his mother. Someone has to be.” You replied shooting the boy an angry glare. “I think its adorable. I mean come on look, he is cuddled up to her for christ’s sake. Ignore Stiles you make a great mother babe.”. Derek said with a light hearted smile. Scott giggled because his new Beta turned out to be a softie. But he still had some training to do. And after all everyone deserves a mother’s love. You whispered in the boy’s ear “I love you too Liam, I will always be here for you.” And if you weren’t mistaken you noticed him smiling in his sleep.

sweets-wonderland  asked:

I don't actually have a question. I just want to tell you how much my daughter and I enjoy your videos and artwork! I am 24 and my daughter is 3. She is always asking to watch Princess Peachie videos! When she isn't feeling well (like today) they make her smile. :-) She wants to dress and "be nice" (as she puts it) just like you. I am so happy that she has such a positive person to admire that is modest and sweet. Thanks so much! You always put a smile on our faces!

Oh my gosh, this is sososososoooo cute, seriously??? Haha I wonder if she is my youngest watcher! ;u; Thank you so much, this message made me smile sooooo much!! <3 Little princess watching my videos hehe!

I love how she wants to “be nice”. That is so important, I feel like being nice is often underestimated in society! <3 ^_^ But also remind her, that even if you’re always trying really hard to be a good person, that it’s okay to be angry sometimes. Because a lot of people will turn you into a doormat, and then when you finally stand up for yourself they will find it unacceptable. Being soft is a strength, but knowing when it’s being taken advantage of is majorly important!

2

Translation of some interesting stuff from recent Jong Suk interviews during promotion period for Hot Young Bloods

(16 Jan- 24 Jan 2014)- Part 2

Translated from 11 (weibo) from Chinese to English by me

Picture credit see logo

See note about the translation in Part 1

(When I am double checking my translation, I found reading this to be quite tedious… bear in mind that this is a compilation of interviews from various sources… so he didn’t say the same thing over and over again in one interview, if that will make you feel any better XD)

Uncertain sources:

Q: Any tips on how to be really good at aeygo like you?

LJS: Just assume the role of the youngest in a group, and then you can do that naturally. To be the youngest one is a way to survive, just adopt it as a survival instinct, and then aeygo comes naturally. When I was young, I had that feeling that I didn’t get enough of love, when I was in high school I felt very lonely when I lived alone, of course now I have already started to like the feeling of loneliness. After one get used to it, this feeling is not bad.

Q: What sort of personality do you have?

LJS: Lee Bo Young noona said this when we caught up over a meal, “You are the type who are just so-so as a boyfriend.” I am not the type who can protect my girlfriend reliably, I want to rely on someone. I wish for love, I am the type of person with a sort of deficit for love.

LJS: I’m a cautious person. I looked like a very quiet person whom people sometimes might not even notice at school, and I didn’t know any of the girls. I don’t have any interests or talents, and I don’t have many friends. I am not that good a boyfriend and I’m not that reliable. Relying on others, trying to hide my own weaknesses. I was on a TV program not long ago, I was so anxious that I sweated profusely and I stuck myself to Park Bo Young. I’m still like a kid now.

LJS: If I fall in love with someone, I will be very loyal. Even though I will demonstrate it in many ways, however, love is not a one-sided thing, is it? I can only continue my unrequited love in sorrow. I want to be in a relationship but I feel that I’m not ready for it, I’m like a kid. I can’t protect her reliably when she is exhausted. I want to get married since I want someone to be stably by my side. It is also a kind of state of mind of wanting to rely on someone.

On the shooting of Hot Young Bloods, there was no music when he shot that scene where he danced in his briefs, he could only hum a melody himself, so he felt even more embarrassed. The shooting of the movie was very free, he could do it very comfortably. The usual practice was for him to go through what he would do the next day the day before the shooting. However, the director of Hot Young Bloods made him develop “acting skill of the day”, that is, preparation on the day, and then shooting on the same day. There were scenes where he improvised in Hot Young Bloods and they made people laugh.

Hanbook:

Even though I couldn’t understand 1980s really well, I managed to get a rough picture of it. Rural village story has a warm and simple feeling. The movie was shot in a village as well. I had the kind of makeup on my face that make me look as if I was injured. When I went to the washroom in the village meeting house, the elderly ladies were all very concerned about me and asked how I got hurt. I couldn’t help but understood how the relationship ties in a village are like.

Watch on bethe1all4one.tumblr.com
[HD] 150814 Naver V App — B1A4 surprise letter to Gongchan

Jinyoung: Hello everyone. This is b1a4′s Jinyoung. The reason i came here suddenly is because, today, actually today! It is Gongchan’s birthday! When it was midnight we gave him a birthday cake and he was touched. When this comes out we are probably going to be on our way somewhere in the car. So today, I am here to leave a video message for Gongchan. Um… Gongchan is… it’s already his 23rd birthday. Gongchan-ah, time sure flies. When I look at you nowadays, I think and feel “He’s become a man. He’s become an adult.” And you look at us from behind, and though you are the youngest, you know how to take care of your hyungs. Because you’re here we can rely on you. Happy birthday, and the two of us should go out to eat meat. I’ll buy you beef. Really… it’s weird to say you’ve grown up so well… but I’m thankful that you’ve grown so well. And I feel like it was just yesterday when you were in high school. Time flies by quickly, which is somewhat sad. But since I can see your mature side now, it’s also a happy thing. Anyway, hyungs always trust you and rely on you, so please trust us and follow us too. You’re doing it already but let’s gain strength together and work harder. Thank you so so much. And, our pretty maknae, hm! Happy birthday~ Hyungs are always cheering for you. Fighting~

CNU: Hmm… Gongchan-ah hi. It’s Shinwoo hyung. Happy 23rd birthday. Our time together.. hm, how long has it been? 6 years? It’s been that long, and I feel like time flies by so quickly. Though you are the youngest, sometimes you are more hyung-like than the hyungs. You take care of us, and you act like an adult so I am so proud. Lately as an MC, you’re greeting many people. Watching you makes me feel very proud. As your hyung I am proud of you. I was worried, but now I think I didn’t have to. You’re doing so well. So, moving forward, whatever you may do, hyung will worry a bit less. Anyway, happy 23rd birthday. Moving forward, I hope you will continue to be our healthy and energetic maknae. Thank you. My donsaeng, Gongchanie. Bye~

Sandeul: Oh yeah~ Hello. This is Sandeul. Hehe… Do I have to speak formally to Channie? Hi Chan-ah~ Uh. Anyway. I wish you a happy 23rd birthday. While we were preparing for this album, I feel like… though I am your hyung, I was able to lean on you a lot. So I am very thankful. And… how should I say this… as time passed… how long has it been? 4, 5, 5-6 years? I saw you improve and become more mature, and hyung enjoyed seeing you do that. Since we’re improving together. Moving forward, I hope we can lean on each other and improve even more. And I hope you can become an even cooler Chanshikie… Ah I’m saying, thank you! Ah really… what else do I say? (giggles) Anyways, when hyung wanted to pursue something, if it wasn’t for your support, honestly I would have felt empty and I wouldn’t have felt like actually doing it. Mhm. I felt like that. To you I want to say ‘thank you’ the most. So thank you. And moving on, let’s work harder. Love you. Happy birthday. Gongchan’s 23rd birthday. From Sandeul.

Baro: Gongchan, hi. This is your favourite Baro hyung. Leaving a video message for you like this is really awkward and embarrassing, but coming across your 23rd birthday, I’m leaving a message for you like this. Firstly, I congratulate you. We, when you were in high school, 2nd level? 1st level? But now you’re 23, and it’s hard to believe. Time sure flies right? Reflecting that time, we’ve really embarked on many roads together. And we have more to walk together, so I hope you can continue to ‘fighting’ and follow your hyungs. You’re doing well now of course, but I know you’ll do even more in the future. And hyungs will lead you well. So let’s gain strength together and make a great B1A4. Also, if you want something, just leave me a separate text. And hyung will prepare it for you secretly. Look forward to your birthday gift! There’s no one like Baro Hyung right? Anyway, happy birthday. Uh… our donsaeng. Hyung really adores and likes you. You know the only donsaeng (in the group) I have is you right? Right. This is embarrassing. Happy birthday! And on your 24th birthday, let’s meet like this again. Bye~ Let’s do well with Sweet Girl! Fighting!

Trans: roz @ bethe1all4one
Please remove all translations with full credits to source and
translator.
Lies

“I’m nothing but a burden.” Cas’ words were soft but held such a profound volume of emotion that was unexpected from a creature that was created to feeling absolutely nothing. “My Father wanted me to be a soldier. He wanted me to bow my head and serve without question. I did, for so long. I aimed to please Him and all I have in return is unanswered prayers. I am a child. I took his silence and I rebelled. I destroyed my family. I tried to carve the world as if I was worthy to be Him. I break everything I touch. And all because I am trying to manage one moment where I don’t feel as if I could fall onto an angel blade and feel nothing of it.”

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“I am the youngest of three girls, and almost all the time I feel like the odd one out. My sisters and I have been watching the recent season of OUAT with Frozen. With the main themes being about sisters and the “odd ones out,” with or without magic, it’s just making me feel more like the black sheep. I love the show but now I feel more depressed. I don’t have a great relationship with my sisters as they do with each other. It hurts whenever they pair up physically and verbally. It won’t change"

Of Crowns and Commoners Chapter 2/?  The Scoundrel

A royal who feels lost.

A young woman looking for home.

Perhaps they can find what they need in each other…

/–/

Prince Killian and commoner Emma canon-divergence AU.

Also on FF.NET and AO3

(read there if you can as tumblr dislikes my formatting and html!!!)

The air was thick with the musty scent of perspiration. Quite a feat, considering the airy nature of the room in which the prostrate body of Killian Jones now lay. He was on his back, the sheet across his body haphazardly drawn, barely covering his groin, his clothes forgotten in a heap where he had stepped into the bed.

These lodgings were in the more genteel part of Shreveport, not that that counted for much. Though they did boast large enough rooms with windows paned with unbroken glass and doors that locked with heavy brass keys. Of course such relative opulence was not inexpensive. But thankfully, this was not of much consequence to an indulged prince whose purse bulged with more than one could ever easily spend.

Shreveport was a town of little consequence to most, populated mainly by those with less than illustrious pasts. It had been founded some 100 years prior at the cross-roads of two major travel routes that connected the kingdoms of Arendelle, Bretton, Misthaven and Camelot. Opportunist types saw a chance to make their fortunes, setting up makeshift stores and boarding houses, plying their trade on the passing travellers, some making fine fortunes in the mud and dankness of the forest.

Eventually, temporary dwellings became more permanent ones and in time a small town grew. Being half-way from nowhere, belonging to no kingdom: which made it the perfect place for those who wished to lose themselves. While there was a civility to day to day life that made it a pleasant enough place to live, laws and consequence were somewhat lacking.

Killian was barely conscious when he heard the voice of his valet.

“Come on, Jones, get your arse into gear.”

His reply was a guttural groan and an arm tossed over his face.

“Bloody hell Robin,” Killian moaned, his head beginning to pound. God what had he drank last night?

The room brightened as Robin Locksley flung open the curtains. Killian cursed under his breath.

“We need to prepare for the journey back to Bretton. You saw the letter,” Robin said.

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