so i think you guys already know how this is gonna work lol but anyways this is my first follow forever i’m posting on this blog! as you know i’ve remade and i can’t believe i’ve already hit 1k on here in such a short amount of time!! for those that don’t know i was changkyuh/hyu-k/busanie before i had remade. thank you to all who’ve helped me reach this milestone and i can’t wait to hit many more. anyways i never really explained so much as to why i remade and the reasons behind them. mainly it’s to really start over and make things more fresh i suppose. with that blog i had a lot of followers but to me it didn’t feel like it. it was also quite messy in general as i’ve had it for so many years. also with that blog i felt a little pressured to reblog groups i wasn’t particularly into as much as i was before so having a new blog allowed me to really reblog what i really wanted. i know these are not all the blogs i used to follow but there are some new mutuals that i had made with this new blog and it’s great! i’ve felt more free to reblog what i really wanted on here and it’s making this experience much more fun ~
Requested: Nope, just an idea I’ve been having for a while.
Summary: You, Ethan and Grayson grew up together. You were very close to both of them but you were closer to Grayson causing deeper feelings to arise, it became harder and harder to control those feelings especially since he keeps coming for girl advice to you.
Word count: 1453
Warnings: Sad, all over the place.
(A/N) : I haven’t written anything in a very long time so my writing is pretty rusty, I apologies for that.
Growing up with two very sporty and energetic boys was hard at times, especially since you weren’t a very sporty person. Ethan and Grayson have always tried to get you into sports and they succeeded as you played a variety of sports with them when you guys were younger.
School was hard, people were making fun of you for hanging out with them, they often teased you saying that you were dating both of them. Mean words were thrown at you and they defended you every time. Ethan was better at keeping his cool and he was only throwing words back at the bullies, you couldn’t say the same about Grayson. He was the one getting more physical when guys were starting to really bother you and some of them touching you without consent.
You understood the reasons as to why they left but they left you alone to fend for yourself. With time, you grew immune to the insults and started defending yourself when the guys or girls were starting to get physical. You owed it to Grayson and Ethan for teaching you how to do so. Having two masculine influences growing up was starting to become an advantage.
When they decided to move to Los Angeles it was one of the most devastating moments in your life. You were so mad at them that you didn’t even help them pack and you didn’t even say goodbye.
“Gray, we have to go. We need to arrive in time at the airport to get trough security, we waited long enough. She isn’t coming.” Ethan tried to make Grayson get in the car as he was standing on the front porch of your house.
You were in your room, tears streaming down your face as you peaked from the window of your bedroom. You were afraid that the moment you hugged him, you weren’t going to be able to pull apart. Not only did they left you by yourself in school but they were going to leave you for good. Visiting during summer wasn’t enough and it wasn’t the same.
The day they left wasn’t the most devastating moment, it was a close second. The most devastating moment is happening right now.
You were in Grayson’s room, on his bed to be precise. You were staring at him as he was running his hand trough his hair in agitation. He was rambling to you about this girl he saw on Instagram. That girl was gorgeous, you couldn’t deny it. No one could. He’s been talking about her for about a week.
You tried to push the strong feelings that you had developed for Grayson but you couldn’t anymore. It was killing you inside, seeing him look at girls that he meets, a certain way. The way his eyes sparkle, the way he bites his lip eyeing the girl up and down. His face becoming flushed, he begins stuttering. You were seeing those reactions for those others girls.
With you he was his normal self, you know all of his emotions, form angry, to sad, to happy, to goofy. You have never experienced the flushed Grayson though. Now, you have, for another girl.
“Should I message her? No, that would be too weird. I mean, what do I say?” He has been rambling on and on.
“How about you text her a hey, Gray? Don’t you think that would be a good start for a conversation?” You asked him as you placed your hand on his shoulder, in order to ease his nerves.
You were very good at masking your emotions, at pretending that everything was fine.
“You’re right. I’m such an idiot for getting so worked up.” He chuckles as he wraps his arm around your waist giving your hip a little squeeze as he places a gentle peck on your cheek.
“What would I do that you, Y/N?” He asks with his big, mesmerizing smile.
You have him a weak one in return, the one you thought resembled a grimace.
That night, you had difficulty sleeping, it was becoming harder and harder to control your emotions. It’s been so long since you discovered that you were falling for him. How could you not? He’s the nicest guy you ever met, besides Ethan of course they were both very similar in that way.
Grayson could change your bad mood with just a simple smile, he had that kind of a big power on you. It was becoming too hard for you, being so close to him and not act upon your feelings.
Not seeing him that often was suppose to help and it did in a way. When you weren’t around him, you had the illusion that your feelings subsided but once you come and see him again, staying with him for three months of vacation. It’s a lot and the departure destroys you.
The night before the day you were supposed to return home in New Jersey, your feelings were all over the place, it was becoming too much for you. You couldn’t control your breathing, your mind was in a very dark place and you couldn’t escape all the bad thoughts. You had to tell him.
You, Ethan and Grayson came home after being out, you were distant the whole night.
“Okay, Y/N, you need to tell me what’s going on. I’m here, I’m always here to listen and you know that. Did the fans we saw earlier say anything bad to you? If they did you need to tell me.” Grayson pressured as he crouched in front of you as you were sitting on the edge of the bed.
You shook your head with a frown. “No, they didn’t say anything bad. They were really nice actually. It’s just…something that has been on my mind for a really long time and I don’t know how to say it. I’m scared..to say it, actually.”
Grayson’s worried expression changed to a confused one. You were scared? You’ve never been scared to tell him anything before.
“I..” You stopped as you had to take a deep breath, your heart was pounding. You squeezed your eyes shut. You had to do this, it was hurting you too much.
“I can’t come visit anymore.” You blurred out quickly. Your eyes opened wide as you stare at him, that wasn’t how you planed to tell him.
His eyebrows scrunched, his mouth was parted as he stared at you.
“Wha-what? What do you mean you can’t visit anymore? Are you guys having money troubles? Because I told you before, we’d be happy to pay for your ticket, we said that since the beginning-”
“No! Grayson, it’s not money problems. I just can’t be around you anymore.” You interrupted him, getting up as you started pacing around the room.
You couldn’t look at him, you couldn’t see his hurt expression after you said that. Grayson didn’t get were that was coming from. What did you mean by that? What did he do wrong?
“Did I do something wrong?” He asks, his voice quiet and wary.
You quickly shook your head and stopped pacing, you were facing him now, his eyes were filled with sadness.
“No, you’re doing everything right and that’s the problem.” You said, your voice beginning to shake as tears were welling up into your eyes.
“I can’t be around you anymore without wanted to hold your hand or kiss you. I can’t watch you fall for other girls. I can’t be the best friend. I’m sorry, Grayson. I tried, trust me. I really tried to bury these feelings away. Our friendship means so much to me but for a while now, all it does is hurt me.” You finally let it all out, tears were running down your cheeks. Your vision was so blurry that you could only see his figure. The lump in your throat made it hard for you to finish your sentences.
Grayson was speechless, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How did he not see that his best friend was hurting. How did he not see that he was the cause of your suffering. He slowly made his way towards you and wrapped his arms around you, letting you cry into his chest. He was holding your shaking body to him, holding back his own tears.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized quietly. What was he apologizing for? Was he sorry for not noticing? For not return your feelings? Or both?
The day of your flight, your said your goodbyes to both of them. You couldn’t look Grayson in the eyes, the guilt that was in them made your heart ache, your heart has suffered too much already.
(A/N) : Well that was pretty crappy, I’m sorry like I said my writing is pretty rusty. Leave some feedback, is you want and if you guys have any requests I’ll be happy to hear them out! Thank you for reading !
You’re at a boring event with your boyfriend and best friend Sebastian. Both of you absolutely dreaded going but it was an obligation. But, at least you have each other. You spend the entire night making fun of other people, creating new inside jokes, and making each other laugh.
heyyo, kids!! Serena just turned 38 years old today and while she might not care much for it, this is the perfect opportunity for me to make a much planned follow forever slash dual promo offering thingy. I haven’t done one in ages even though I wanted to ( but didn’t have the time or was lazy tbh ). Now, I’m very close to 300 followers and I’d like to thank all of you wonderful people for the love and interest you show towards me and SerSer here.
* Just a side note: some of you have followed my dear Lucifer over @themorninqstar. It always warms my heart to see familiar faces over there, so thank you all for interacting with my sweet devil as well.
now for the present!! It’s Serena’s birthday but I’m gonna be the one giving presents to my mutuals if you want them. I’m offering to make dual promos for your blog and my humble one if you reblog this post. Only reblogs will count since this is also a follow forever and you might want to like it, so you can without me presuming that you want the promo. If you reblog, I’m probably gonna pop into your ask box or something to make sure anyway. And then the fun can begin! The promos might be character posters or even gifs. It really depends on my mood and fancy but my heart will be in it, I can promise as much. SO REBLOG THE THING.
as for the follow forever… Under the cut are the awesome people who make this blog so much fun with their creativity and general presence. Your writing is amazing, our threads are amazing and I want more of them, and I love you <3 The other possibility is that we haven’t interacted yet but I stalk you and think we should. I think everyone will know which category they belong to. ( in no particular order )
Have you ever been in a situation, wherein you just want to give in and let death take you and your pain?
Where everything is falling apart, like nothing good is happening, people are leaving, eyes of disappointments, failures; multiple heart aches and struggles that never ends.
Depression is such an ass. He can be your friend at times, but mostly your enemy.
It makes you weak and sometimes people don’t understand the problem of being depressed.They make fun of the situation prolly because they’ve
never been in that kind of pain. And yes, I know we’re all struggling with our own problems and pain;
that we should just suck it up and be brave and continue living. That we should be positive at all times.
But you forgot that we are all different.
Have you not realize, how many times they’ve considered it? Being strong, and positive? It’s double the times you told them to suck it up and be brave. Thousand times they have to force themselves to be okay in the eyes of others.
And it is quite exhausting to live a lifeless life.
to pretend you’re okay, when you’re not,
to say you’re fine, even though you’re breaking apart,
to smile, even if you’re crying in the inside.
And let me tell you dear it is not easy to be brave when you’re at war with yourself. Constant battles in your head, and it’s tiresome to live like that. To live your life to what other expect you to live.
So to you my friend,
It’s okay now,
it’s okay if you’re unhappy, you can let it all out. You can cry if you don’t want to smile, it’s okay to get tired, it’s okay not to fight and pause for awhile
Take some rest.
But never let depression eat you and take your life away from you.
Shadowhunters is finally back on our screens and we couldn’t be more excited. Before we all get too deep into the new season, we just wanted to say thank you to all the people who’ve helped making these last three months a little more fun! Thank for wanting to participate in our little fandom event, either by cheering from the sidelines or by creating wonderful content every week!
First, a little shout out to our team members for all the work they’ve done with the prompt posts and master lists, not to mention organising all the content, while creating things for the challenge too:
Okay. I feel the need to freaking mention a few things here. First off, is there a need to be that close to each other? I mean seriously, guys! Why would you stand that close together especially in those get-ups! What gives? Some people like to make shippers feel insane and dirty, but look at you! You have crossed each other’s personal space and are practically inside of the other by how close you are.
Secondly, really Rhett? You’re on camera and you are practically brushing your crotch on Link’s arm. Another inch and their would be friction on your nether regions. Either: A. you don’t give a shit who sees your thirstiness, B. you are unconsciously doing it and that’s a whole other story C. it has become second natural to be that close to your boyfriend that it is just pure habit. or D. You’re doing it to get a reaction or create “awkwardness” as Link put it in the AMA.
I absolutely love these two. And I adore the fandom. Sometimes, I feel like this is just an exercise in creativity. A way to make gifs/fics, have fun and connect with other like minded people. But then I see shit like this and it makes me do a double take. Like is there really something to all of this shipping. I feel like there is more to this relationship than even we (we, shippers) like to imagine. It really makes you think.
“Everyone is always making fun of me because of how I look, how fucking weak I am and shit, well I will get you all back: ultimate fucking revenge here. you people could have shown more respect, treated me better, asked for my knowledge or guidance more, treated me more like senior, and maybe I wouldn’t have been as ready to tear your fucking heads off. then again, I have always hated how I looked, I make fun of people who look like me, sometimes without even thinking sometimes just because I want to rip on myself. That’s where a lot of my hate grows from, the fact that I have practically no self esteem, especially concerning girls and looks and such. therefore people make fun of me… constantly… therefore I get no respect and therefore I get fucking PISSED. as of this date I have enough explosives to kill about 100 people, and then if I get a couple bayonets, swords, axes, whatever I’ll be able to kill at least 10 more. and that just isn't enough! GUNS! I need guns! Give me some fucking firearms!”
- In the months leading up to the Columbine High School Massacre, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold loaded up on guns, bullets, pipe bombs, and attempted to make napalm. The two shooters’ ultimate motive was revenge, as they both felt like loners and wanted everyone else to pay. In his last journal entry on the 3rd of April 1999, Harris wrote “I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things.” 17 days later, he and Klebold became the perpetrators of one of the worst school shootings in American history, shooting dead 13 people before turning their guns on themselves.
been at the store all day sitting in front of my computer, wishing
that someone would enter and ask me for a book. Most customers just
enter, look around for a few minutes and then leave. At first, I
approached most of them, asking them if they were looking for
something in particular, but I was dismissed in just a second. I’m
beginning to loose all my hope, when two girls enter the store, both
giving me a smile before approaching my desk.
you have any novel really related to music?” The younger one
asks me. “Like, they talk about songs and bands, and that kind
think I have something for you”
take the girls to one of the shelves and hand them some books. The
bell at the door rings again, so I leave the girls to walk to the
don’t even have to ask who is the man just casually walking towards
my chair behind the desk. The hair is longer, and the beard is
trimmed for once, even the smell is the same.
knew I would find you here”
takes his sunglasses off and I’m finally able to see his eyes. It
takes me a second to run and hug him like I haven’t seen him in
years, and it actually has been one year since I last saw him. One
really long year.
holds me in his arms, not wanting to let me go, my heart threatening
to escape from my chest and my face hidden on his neck, absorbing the
smell that I’ve missed.
been so long" He whispers in my ear, and I finally lose my grip
whose fault is that?” I ask, crossing my arms around my chest.
“Not even a call the last three months”
can call me too, you know?” He mutters, standing up from the
but every time I tried calling you, it was Emma who answered the damn
phone, I think she’s my best friend now” I say, poking his
laughs before leaving me alone in the desk, he starts walking around
the shelves, looking at the books, picking some to check them and
then leaving them in the same place. The two girls are still deciding
what to buy, and when one of them notices Jared’s presence, I
remember why we usually don’t hang out downtown.
my god, oh my god…” The girl whispers, hitting her friend on the
arm with her elbow.
the second girl acknowledges what’s going on, I decide to intervene.
you liked them?” I ask the girls, trying to get their attention,
but they are still looking at Jared.
The older one tries to ask, but I look at Jared, who just noticed
what’s going on, and then at the girls.
The younger one mutters.
I ask, laughing, “Hell, no. Believe me, I’ve seen him a few
times, and that’s definitely not him” I see how Jared puts his
sunglasses on and walks to the back of the store, “That’s just a
friend, we always make fun of him because people think he’s Jared
Leto, but the real one actually looks like a God”
I know they are
not convinced by my stupid comment, but they decide to believe me.
Besides, Jared is hidden in the back, and I’m not letting them get in
“So, did you
like the books?”
Both girls buy a
book, and decide to stay for a few more minutes looking at nothing in
particular around the shelves. I know they are waiting for Jared to
come out again, but now that he knows the girls recognized him, he
wasn’t gonna do that. After a few minutes they finally desist from
the idea of staying around till Jared reappears, and finally leave
When I’m alone in
the store, I run to the front door to lock it and hang the “We’re
know you thought I looked like a God” Jared laughs, coming out
off the storeroom.
“Oh, shut up,
everybody calls you Jesus now that your hair is long”
you’re not everybody”
My heart starts
its race again and I feel my hands shaking.
he says, picking my bag and jacket, “You’re coming with me,
there’s something I need to tell you”
He doesn’t give me
a chance to ask anything, when I’m already outside the store. His car
is parked right in front and once I’m inside I start asking all the
“Where are we
apartment” he answers, while starting the engine.
know you still had your apartment here” I mumble, surprised.
“Of course I
do, where would I stay every time I come to visit you?”
My jaw drops and I
feel my cheeks getting red.
never come” I mutter crossing my arms on my chest.
because I’m busy, now stop complaining about my absence and tell me
about you, something I should know?”
is pretty much the same” I say, shrugging, he gives me a quick
look clearly not believing a word, “Really, nothing has changed,
I still work in the same store, don’t I?”
told you, LA could be your solution, there are way more opportunities
than here!” Another quick look before reaching for my hand, "You
could live with me till we find you a something”
leaving this place, Jared, you know that” I mumble, playing with
his fingers, avoiding his eyes, “My whole life is here, my
family, even that future that I planned and it still hasn’t come”
His hand leaves
mine, and I can clearly see that he’s pissed, I decide not to
continue with the same old conversation and stay quiet on my seat.
The music is the only thing filling the silence on our way to his
apartment and I feel uncomfortable around him, we haven’t seen each
other for the past year and he hasn’t called for the last three
months. Living with him would be the great opportunity to see him
almost daily, but I know Jared and we have already been there, once
he starts seen me more often, his “asshole side” appears.
It isn’t until we
are in the elevator that I have the guts to start talking again.
is… what’s her name?” I start to ask, obviously faking my
and I don’t know” He answers, shrugging, his eyes on me through
our reflection in the elevator, “I haven’t seen her”
“You two are
no longer together then?” I ask, coming out of the elevator, and
I see him shrug again.
“We had a
fight, why do you think I’m here?”
I don’t know,
maybe to see your best friend in the world? The one that answers your
phone calls at 4 in the morning, even when she has to be up at 6 to
go to work?
I end up laughing
at myself, for being so stupid. It’s always the same with Jared, I
don’t get why I keep doing this to myself, when I know that the only
thing I get from Jared are stories about the amazing Los Angeles and
all those marvelous countries I would never even dream about
leave him when he opens the door to his apartment, but he catches me
before I can get in the elevator again.
are you doing?” He asks, holding my arm.
why do you think I walked here?” I answer, imitating his tone
realizes what is going on and lets go off my arm. His hands start
running through his hair, and I want to believe that he feels as
ashamed as he looks.
didn’t meant that, you know it”
I don’t” I press the elevator button again, and I stand there
waiting, “I don’t even know what I’m doing here”
need to tell you something” Jared repeats his words from before.
Well, I have something to tell you too” I turn around to face
him, “I may live in this fucking city, with no job
opportunities, with the most boring shops and parks that you will
find in all America. But at least I don’t forget that you exist and
only remember your existence when I have a problem or need to tell
someone about all the shit that happens in my life. Three months
since the last call, you didn’t even answered my messages!”
told you, I was busy”
right, your work. Have fun with your interviews and concerts” I
mumble, getting in the elevator, “And next time you need someone
to squeal with about your infinite love affairs, don’t call me, I
would really appreciate it”
don’t do that!” He screams, holding the elevator door open,
“Every time I call you, whenever I ask about your life, you
don’t want to talk about it”
why do you think I do that?”
life is a mess, I’ve been working in the same place for years, I
spent four years at college and for what? To live the rest of my life
working in some old library. I have the same routine everyday,
nothing changes. No boyfriends, because I’m too busy being in love
with Jared, longing for his return to Crap City, like he’s my sweet
prince in his shining armor that will come to my rescue.
maybe I don’t want to be rescued if that means that I will have to
see him with his long list of lovers, I had enough of that when he
lived here and I don’t want to experience the same again.
knows that my life sucks here, and that his stories help me get my
head to other places. But I don’t want to be the best friend, the one
listening about his lovers and then crying alone in my room because
he will never be mine.
always been here for me, you’re my best friend” Jared mutters,
tears threatening to come out.
you are never here for me!”
already told you…”
you were busy”
haven’t let me tell you with what. Give me two minutes, you don’t
have to enter the apartment, just wait here”
nod and get off the elevator again. Jared disappears inside his
apartment and I can hear him running from room to room looking for
something. When he appears again, there’s an envelope in his hands,
he hands it to me almost desperately. Jared’s hands are shaking when
I take it, and once I open it I find an airplane ticket to LA. I
don’t even take the thing out, I just close the envelope handing it
course you can! You’re stuck in here, you deserve better, I can give
take his hand to leave the ticket there and return to the elevator. I
start pressing the button almost desperately, only to stop when his
hand reaches mine.
need you there” Jared mutters, forcing me to hug him.
were just fine for the last year without me” I mumble in
response, “I can’t be the wipe that dries your tears whenever you
fight with one of your girlfriends!”
don’t want you there because of that, just receive and think about
it, it’s due next month, you still have time”
let me go, Jared”
does what I ask and I end up receiving his envelope with the ticket
me you’ll think about it” He asks me when I’m entering the
give me one good reason”
love you” Jared whispers before the elevator doors close and I’m
left alone with my thoughts.
And that’s it! Thank you all for being amazing people and making Tumblr fun for me. Happy holidays! ❤️
Wait….. hold on… Hmmm. I feel like I’m forgetting something. Oh, riiiighht. Don’t mind this I’m just trying to troll the squad lmao bc they joked about a paragraph being dedicated to each of them and now I’m actually doing it haha