makeup-stuff

The Hot Chick is on and I forgot Melora Hardin aka Jacqueline from The Bold Type plays Jessica’s mom lol. Also this movie totally should have been gay. Jess and April were awesome. (Love how everyone supported the little brother wanting to wear makeup and stuff though.)

And John Tucker Must Die comes on next.

It’s like a movie throwback to middle school and high school.

Things the signs love

Aries: To feel wanted. Baby animals (especially kittens). Corny gifts. Stability. Forehead kisses. Red lipstick. Deep and meaningful conversations. Vodka. Mutual feelings. Drunk texts. Holding hands. Hot showers. Comedy movies. Someone that will make them better as a person. 

Taurus: Traveling. Roller coasters. Commitment. Neck kisses. Fun dates. Comfort snacks. Peanut butter. Watching horror movies with a significant other. Warm, fluffy towels. Buying pointless things. Late night tumblr sessions. Stuffed animals. Meaningful letters. Getting dressed up. Bubble baths. Forest. Rain and storms.

Gemini: Make out sessions. Instagram. Feeling wanted. Cute dates. Tall boys/short girls. Fluffy rugs. Romance movies. Collecting random things. Messy rooms. Wine. Conversations about sex. Being made feel special. Driving with the windows down.

Cancer: Small animals. Silk pajamas. Pretty things. Flowers. Cute lingerie. Vanilla milkshakes. Buying expensive makeup. Stuff that smells good. Fan-girling over celebs. Late night Netflix. Pizza. Roller skating.

Leo: Night drives. Fairy lights. Soft, worn in hoodies. Stars. Instagram. Fireworks. Soft cheeks kisses. Bear hugs. Stomach butterflies. Giving advice. Salted caramel. Champagne. Amusement parks.

Virgo: Face masks. Commitment. Dogs. Turning up music loud while driving. Disney movies. Feeling acknowledged. Sound of rain. Music. Shooting stars. Black and white photographs. Fashion.

Libra: Candles. Fireworks. Bonfires. Commitment. Romance novels. Big animals. Warm houses. Skinny jeans. Drinking with friends. Salt and vinegar chips. Sending ugly pictures to friends. Lip syncing beyonce or justin bieber. Smell of books. Dogs. The milky way.

Scorpio: Cold drinks. Full bank account. Adrenaline rushes. Deep, passionate kisses. Warm socks. Inside jokes. Staring. Hand written letters. Sarcasm. Movies (scorpios are movie freaks). Soapy showers.

Sagittarius: Horror movies with friends. Weed. Photography. Architecture. Gossip. Classy outings. Sarcasm. Face and body products. Reaching high levels on video games. Sassy remarks. Traveling. Cactuses. Piercings. Adventure. Croissants.

Capricorn: Expensive makeup. Feeling wanted. Photo booths. Clean houses. Clouds. Sarcasm. Dirty jokes. Sparklers. Green grass. Festivals. Drunk texting. Pretty underwear. Boybands. Late night tumblr sessions. Dark lipstick. Passionate kissing.

Aquarius: Aquariums ( :’) ). Beach bikes. Long strolls on beach. Sundresses. Innocent gossip. Booty. Late night texting. Blasting music in car. Exotic drinks. Trampolines. Rock jumps. Books. Christmas lights. Pretty views.

Pisces: Old movies. Heart shaped sunglasses. The universe. Knitted blankets. Shimmery eyeshadow. Learning. Smell of rain. Daydreaming. Chill songs. Sea shells. Drawing. Brand new pens.

things the signs love
  • Aries: To feel wanted. Baby animals, (especially kittens). Corny gifts. Stability. Forehead kisses. Red lipstick. Deep and meaningful conversations. Vodka. Mutual feelings. Drunk texts. Holding hands. Hot showers. Comedy movies. Someone that will make them better as a person (although not always what they settle for) Milo.
  • Taurus: Traveling. roller coasters. commitment. neck kisses. fun dates. comfort snacks. peanut butter. watching horror movies with a significant other. warm, fluffy towels. buying pointless things. late night tumblr sessions. stuffed animals. meaningful letters. getting dressed up. bubble baths. forest. rain and storms.
  • Gemini: make out sessions. instagram. feeling wanted. cute dates. tall boys/short girls. fluffy rugs. romance movies. collecting random things. messy rooms. wine. conversations about sex. being made feel special. driving with the windows down
  • Cancer: smalls animals. silk pyjamas. pretty things. flowers. cute lingerie. vanilla milkshakes. buying expensive makeup. stuff that smells good. fan-girling over celebs. late night netflix. pizza. roller skating.
  • Leo: night drives. fairy lights. soft, worn in hoodies. stars. instagram. fireworks. soft cheek kisses. bear hugs. stomach butterflies. giving advice. salted caramel. champagne. amusement parks
  • Virgo: face masks. commitment. dogs. turning up music loud while driving. disney movies. feeling acknowledged. sound of rain. music. shooting stars. black and white photographs. fashion. 
  • Libra: candles. fireworks. bonfires. commitment. romance novels. big animals. warm houses. skinny jeans. drinking with friends. salt and vinegar chips. sending ugly picture to friends. lip syncing beyonce or justin beiber. smell of books. dogs. the milky way. 
  • Scorpio: Cold drinks. full bank account. adrenaline rushes. deep, passionate kisses. warm socks. inside jokes. staring. hand written letters. sarcasm. movies (scorpios are movie freaks) soapy showers. 
  • Sagittarius: horror movies with friends. weed. photography. architecture. gossip. classy outings. sarcasm. face and body products. reaching high levels on video games. sassy remarks. traveling. cactuses. piercings. adventure. croissants
  • Capricorn: expensive makeup. feeling wanted. photo booths. clean houses. clouds. sarcasm. dirty jokes. sparklers. green grass. festivals. drunk texting. pretty underwear. boy bands. late night tumblr sessions. dark lipstick. passionate kissing. 
  • Aquarius: aquariums (who knew) beach bikes. long strolls on beach. sundresses. innocent gossip. booty. late night texting. blasting music in car.  exotic drinks. trampolines. rock jumps. books. christmas lights. pretty views.
  • Pisces: old movies. heart shaped sunglasses. the universe. knitted blankets. shimmery eyeshadow. learning. smell of rain. daydreaming. chill songs. sea shells. drawing. brand new pens. 

okay but, question: why are there all these posts about dirk not knowing how actual earth things tend to work when he was likely to actually TRY and learn things because dirks like that?? instead, i propose this:

jade harley, who pretty much was raised by a goddamn dog on an island in the middle of nowhere, who got all of her social interaction through an online messaging service and in her wild prospit dreams, AND THEN SPENT 3 YRS COMPLETELY ALONE ON A BOAT FLYING THRU SPACE, horrifies her friends regularly on earthc by her lack of knowledge of some stuff

shed know basic things like whats food and whats not since she presumably grew all her veg and hunted for her meat, but imagine the following:

  • jade not understanding how loud it is normal to speak at and shouting all the time
  • jade not understanding how to act, like, physically when shes around people!! when s it normal to touch them, when isnt it, that kind of thing
  • jade having never worn makeup and done stuff like painting her nails so its all super foreign to her!!! all the girls + davepeta have a big sleepover and teach her how to apply eyeliner. she tries to user lipliner on her eyebrows
  • jade only having had basic foodstuffs, has never tried a lot of actual… dishes. shes never even had frozen pizza. 
  • jades voice being a super weird mix of accents because she ended up learning a lot of her speech online since, yknow, her only irl human interaction ended when her grandpa DIED. so she learns from things like different tv shows, etc
  • jade eats with her mouth open and speaks with it full
  • jade will bite her nails and leave the nail ‘clippings’ all over anyones sofa or floor
  • jade, having never had a parent to tell her to “sit like a lady”, sits with her legs all akimbo even if shes wearing a dress or skirt because who the fuck cares

im no jade expert but i personally think this is good

Things The Signs Love

Aries: To feel wanted. Baby animals (especially kittens). Corny gifts. Stability. Forehead kisses. Red lipstick. Deep and meaningful conversations. Vodka. Mutual feelings. Drunk texts. Holding hands. Hot showers. Comedy movies. Someone that will make them better as a person.

Taurus: Traveling. Roller coasters. Commitment. Neck kisses. Fun dates. Comfort snacks. Peanut butter. Watching horror movies with a significant other. Warm, fluffy towels. Buying pointless things. Late night tumblr sessions. Stuffed animals. Meaningful letters. Getting dressed up. Bubble baths. Forest. Rain and storms.

Keep reading

Fun comp het things

“Um I’m definitely not gay I’m looking at that other girl’s boobs because I want my boobs to look like that haha”

“I’m not gay I love guys!! Just because I’ve never met a guy in real life that I have ever wanted to come into physical contact with ever doesn’t mean I’m not A MegaHet!!! I love Chris Evans”

“I’m just not in a position in my life where I want to date any guys right now… nor have I ever been in a position where I want to date guys but I’m Straight I Promise”

“Thinking about having sex with other girls? That’s just things all straight girls do haha… Because I’m thinking about stuff that guys would find hot, obviously”

“Theoretically I could see myself with a faceless and featureless man who has no discernible human characteristics in the future! Haha my dream man, you ask? Uh, we’ll he’s got hair, a face, eyes probably…”

“No I Don’t Only Get Crushes On Unattainable Guys Who Will Never Like Me Back Cara Shut Your Mouth”

“Girls are just prettier than boys, you know? Because like, girls can wear makeup and stuff. Even though girls without makeup are still prettier than boys. This Is Heterosexual And Science Trust Me”

“Um haha yeah I like him but I don’t want to be around him or talk to him or touch him ever haha what do you mean that IS normal haha”

“Listen,, me having 18 girl crushes is Normal and Heterosexual who doesn’t wanna fuck Kristen Stewart”

“Um straight girls can also like Hayley Kiyoko”

“I don’t really think I wanna get married because I don’t want to be tied down?? I definitely wanna live with my lady best friend when I’m older though we can have sleepovers every night and cook together and cuddle while we watch movies haha she’s the best and I love her and never want to be without her ever. But ew I definitely don’t want to get married I’m scared of commitment haha”

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Soooo this is what happens when the only person more bored than you is your makeup wizard sister and you’ve been listening to way too much Depeche Mode.

I’ll be damned if this isn’t the hottest I’ve ever looked though.