I am an amoeba,
as easy to mold as dough
but tougher than any expectation put on the woman kneading it.
I am a rolled up flannel,
carabiner keys wearing,
shave my head for freedom, woman.
I show my scars as diamonds draped around me.
I’ve been taught to wear my imperfections as robes
like a queen would her dignity.
We, with ropes tied around our spines, stand tall.
Learn to speak without cracks in our voices
and walk comfortably on the burning ash of our past selves.
Our sisters walk miles longer than the lashes glued to their eyes,
younger generations wait in our footsteps to steal the makeup from our dressers when we leave every morning for battle.
They crave to wear it as war paint.
Hope our experience will stain their lips
alongside the color so they can taste what it’s like to overcome.
What does it take to have strength?
To stand tall through attacks?
Like trees whose limbs are cut back every year because it’s known that when they bloom again it will be twice as beautiful as the last time.
When the doors of your eyes slam closed,
to hopefully quiet the world around you,
where do you go?
Is your heaven a place where flowers bloom from the dirt you’ve picked up in your shoes?
Or an ocean with waves like tsunamis that constantly try to drown everything in its wake?
We have learned to walk miles standing still.
To hear a cry for help in a speech as planned as a menstrual cycle.
Who has taught you to be a victim in your home?
To fear the weather in your skin that proves that you’ve existed.
We bleed out our legacy in private.
Become warriors for our rights to show our children what life is.
You may have ripped me open,
left a trail staining the path of where i’ve been.
Used my stories to turn burnt hair to the symbol of hope for an unborn child to keep dreaming.
I know the weight of the world feels like It wants you to be buried
So let the warmth of the ground hold your baby toes as you root yourself in the face of your existence.
Let it hold you tight as you continue to bloom towards the sun,
and when it rains -
use that time to wipe your eyes so when you see light again
you remember why you’re moving.
Love, I hope you find your place within in the weather of our lives.
Take advice from the wind and how obstacles only make it stronger.
How sometimes the brightest suns, though beautiful
still burn your retinas when you stare for too long.
I think the toughest answers are hiding behind the dust on lessons we have known for so long.
Trust that sometimes it’s the pain of what we’re lacking
To help us truly understand what it means to crave need.
You gathered all of your makeup from the dresser. The products were spilling from the large bag and you carried it to the living room where your boyfriend, Sebastian, was waiting. You switched on the camera and kissed Sebastian lightly. “Hey guys, today we are doing the ‘girlfriend does my makeup tag’ because you guys wanted this.” Sebastian sighed and you laughed.
“Why? Why would you do this to me?” Sebastian ran his hands through his hair and you pumped a little foundation onto the back of your hands. You laughed as you knew that it would not match his skin tone at all.
You dotted the product over his face and buffed out the foundation. You stifled a laugh and continued onwards. “Babe, you’re gonna hate me so much for this.” You hid the mirror from your boyfriend and started to conceal his eyebags. “Your skin looks so clear now!”
Sebastian leant over to kiss you and when you pulled back, you put some powder on his face and then some bronzer to try and do something with the vampire looking boyfriend of yours. “Shut your eyes, babe.” You tried to line his eyes but he kept wriggling. “Stop moving.”
“It’s tickling me and it’s cold. Stop it.” You held his face still and tried to line his other eye but he moved and it smudged. You glared at him and wiped off the extra eyeliner.
“Bucky is literally all eyeliner and angst, stay still!” You somehow managed the eyeliner and you started to do his eyeshadow over it to soften the look. He giggled as the brush swiped across his lids. “Contour time!”
You mapped out his face and tried to soften his masculine features for the sake of the video and you had to stop yourself from laughing. “What are you doing?” Sebastian sounded confused and you kissed him lightly.
You did his eyebrows quickly and he complained that the brush was going to scratch away his skin and you had to conceal the eyebrow before he moved again. “Sebastian!” You were growing more and more annoyed at your boyfriend but you were almost done.
“Look up and keep still. It will hurt if you don’t.” Sebastian stilled automatically and you curled his eyelashes. Once you put the mascara wand close to him, he jerked away and so you gave up and went onto his lips. You lined them and filled them with your favourite lip colour.
“It’s almost done. Keep your eyes shut and I’ll be back. Gotta get something from the bedroom.” You ran to get a wig from your room and put it on his head. “You look so good.” You grabbed the mirror and showed Sebastian.
“What have you done?” He looked horrified but then played along with it.
It’s technically Friday where I am so here.. enjoy Fluff Friday.
He does this thing…
The first time he did it, I was sitting in front of the mirror with my makeup sprawled across the dresser and a dark green dress was hanging on the cupboard door behind me. Freshly showered, hair scruffily up in a bun and waiting for attention, I had a towel wrapped around my body and a distressed look on my face.
We all have those moments whilst we’re trying to get ready where half your wardrobe ends up on the floor because you’ve changed ten outfits and something doesn’t feel right, or you’ve applied four layers of makeup and the pimple only you can really see is still blaring out at you like a security alarm. It was one of those moments. After applying all my makeup, my skin looked dry and I felt ugly. My eyes didn’t have their usual brightness and my cheeks were becoming ever more flushed with my frustrations.
So I wiped all the makeup off, and discarded the wipe behind me. I didn’t even realise he’d come into the room but Owen was bending down to pick it up. He said I didn’t need it anyway, that he always preferred me natural and naked. I had giggled shortly and stopped when I looked back to the mirror and sighed. Standing behind my chair and looking at me in the reflection, he smiled.
A calm washed over me, the frustration soon disappeared and as his hands went to my shoulders and started massaging it, that’s when he noticed it.
“You have a freckle…”
I claimed I didn’t get freckles, that it was impossible, but he looked closer on my left shoulder and saw it up close.
“You have a couple actually,” he commented.
He then dotted kisses across the patch of skin that must have been exposed to the sunny day and smiled. Something about the way he did it made me suddenly feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I didn’t even bother with foundation that day- just a whisker of mascara and a touch of lipstick and off we went. I wasn’t aiming to have any other man look at me except him, and he looked at me the entire night.
The people trying to get TVD canceled make me so fucking mad. You’re all butt hurt so you try to ruin it for everyone and cost hundreds of people their jobs? Think of all the makeup artists, hair dressers, cameramen/camerawomen, prop designers, directors, and writers that make The Vampire Diaries possible. They all get put out of work and some may even struggle to take care of their families. Nina Dobrev made a conscious decision to leave TVD, and I have no doubt that she’ll go on the do great things. Don’t let you’re emotions cloud your judgement. The rest of TVD’s story deserves to be told.
Also, all of your protesting only gives The Vampire Diaries more publicity, so more people will tune in to see what’s up. Thanks.