Risked my life for a free cupcake today...
So my mom got these coupons in the mail for free Zingerman’s cupcakes and she made like 50 copies of them to hand out to people at work. They expire today and we decided to make the quick trip on our lunch break. Everything is bright and sunny when we walk into the bake shop. We get our free cupcake after ten minutes of trying to pick one out and I holding this thing thinking to myself “I’m ganna devour you when I get back to my desk…"
I open the door to walk out to the car and rain starts whipping at me like I was in a fucking car wash. To those who say "a little rain never hurt anyone” you clearly have never had horizontal rain droplets the size or dimes pelt you in the ear.
Finally my mom and I make it to the car and everything is fine and dandy and I’m still entranced by this damn cupcake, failing to notice its theres now a god damn tsunami outside. I’m still staring at it when we pull up to the stop light. Suddenly theres this huge pop noise and my window fills with this blue light. Apparently the transformer on the telephone pole next to our car blew up and was now sparking all over the place. Needless to say we were both like
I started screaming at my mom to drive because “WE ARE NOT DYING TODAY, NO NOT TODAY MOM!”
and she start to protest that the light was red but I looked up and the stop light was out cuz the stupid thing blowing up, so I cut her off, “GOD DAMMIT, DRIVE WOMAN! GET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!”
We made it safely back to the office, me hyperventilating the entire time, and now this cupcake is sitting on my desk. And you know what? I still got a fucking free cupcake.