makes me want to stab babies


supernatural out of context

ok so hear me out: College!Binu ft. laundry & extra 4stro

  • binu living in opposite towers in a residence hall but on the same floor so their windows essentially face each other 
  • so literally every morning when Bin wakes up he gets to rest his eyes on the beauty that is nerd!Eunwoo getting ready to get to class
  • and also gets to hear the sheer noise that is MJ/Sanha
  • ok so naturally Rocky and Jinjin being the ever-observant roommates catch him staring more than once out the window at the beautiful boy with the glasses from the east tower 
  • and endlessly tease him about it 
  • but Bin doesn’t even try to defend himself or his rep as a Bad Bad Boy™ because honestly he is also a Hoe™ for beautiful things he’s not going to deny himself this pleasure 
  • until one day eunwoo looks up from where he’s studying by the window
  • and catches bin’s eye and smiles
  • and bin immediately chokes on his coffee because what the hell it’s one thing for someone to be this pretty but it’s another thing for someone to have an amazing eye smile smh iLLEGAL 
  • ‘hyUNG HE SMILED AT ME’ @ jinjin 
  • jinjin: ‘yeah sure son u sure u aren’t dreaming’ 
  • rocky: ‘no hyung idt bin is lying he’s still looking this way’ 
  • bin: (spluttering) ‘whAT DO U MEAN HE’S STILL LOOKING THIS WAY’ 
  • and rocky and jinjin are just cackling because Bin is such trash for this boy from the east tower and he doesn’t even know his name
  • also that one time when Bin tried to take a photo of Eunwoo sitting at the window in the evening because the way his face was lit up was breath-taking but his flash was on and he had to duck away before he Got Caught™
  • ok so over at the east tower this is how it goes 
  • sanha: ‘hyung that creep’s from west staring again’ 
  • eunwoo: (still staring very hard at his textbook) ‘yeah he’s incredulous about how loud two smol beings can be’
  • (background sanha: ‘bitch i’m taller than u’) mj: ‘yeah well i think he’s starING AT YOU EUNWOO I THINK SOMEBODY HAS A CRUSH ON U’ 
  • eunwoo: (pushing up his cute ass glasses) ‘yeah well he’s p cute too’ (goes back to his work) and for once mj and sanha are stunned into silence
  • and so mj and sanha make it their Mission to wingman eunwoo and rocky and jinjin make it their Mission to wingman bin 
  • ok so one time jinjin and rocky are in the dining hall to grab dinner & they run into the terror twins 
  • sanha: ‘omg it’s u it’s u ur the one eunwoo hyung keeps looking at’ and gets hit by myungjun bc 1) why can’t this boy shut his mouth and 2) he mistook rocky for bin which is frankly q a feat they look nothing alike
  • and so after many clarifications and shouting over each other 4stro settles 3 facts: 
  • 1) nerd boy’s name is eunwoo and he thinks badboy from the west tower is ‘p cute’ 
  • 2) said badboy’s name is bin and he wears too much eyeliner and snapbacks and he’s been pining away at the east tower for the longest time trying to secretly catch a glimpse of eunwoo 
  • 3) both bin and eunwoo need to get their shit together 
  • upon finding 1 out bin lets out an embarrassing squeak that he swears never happened and disappears into his blanket fort because even though he tries to be a Bad Bad Boy™ he is actually just a soft pupper 
  • now he knows beautiful boy’s name!!!! eunwoo!!!!!!! beautiful!!!!! just like him!!!!!!11!!1!!1 amazing
  • he is so soft for eunwoo it’s incredible 
  • and when eunwoo finds 2 out all he does is push up his glasses and blink confusedly @ mj and sanha bc thank u very much but what is he going to do with this information 
  • and so now that 3 has been established by 4stro, 4stro decides???? they need???? to have a game plan???
  • so plan number 1 is set into motion they send both eunwoo and bin down to the printer at the same time because somehow both sanha and rocky needed to get a worksheet printed At The Same Time How MystERioUs!!!
  • but because bin is grumpy at having to tear his gaze away from the window he is down and back up with rocky’s worksheet in a flash 
  • and eunwoo just stares weirdly at sanha’s very hopeful expression and question of ‘so did u meet anyone,,, special??? downstairs????????’
  • the answer is no 
  • and so plan number 2 is set into place mj and jinjin send eunwoo and bin to the dining hall to fetch cookies because ‘don’t question ur hyung u lil shit just get me the cookies’
  • and so bin goes down grumpy as usual to grab a cookie for the most annoying hyung in the world
  • he doesn’t see eunwoo but hoo boy eunwoo definitely sees him 
  • and he sees the way the crowd in the dining hall parts for this gorgeous boy and the way this group of girls excitedly start whispering and the way some people’s gaze lift from their food as he walks past and the way the lights flash on bin’s ear piercings
  • and he sees the way bin carefully puts a couple of cookies into a box (how can someone??? who looks so tough??? be gentle with cookies????? he finds out later that it’s only bc bin hella loves food)
  • and he sees the way bin commands attention even though all he’s doing is being hella grumpy and decides then and there that he cannot Deal with talking to bin when there are So Many People watching so he just hides behind a pillar and waits until Bin strides back out the hall 
  • and so when eunwoo gets back up he just stares weirdly again at mj’s very hopeful expression and question of ‘so did u meet anyone,,, special??? downstairs????????’
  • the answer is no and a very suspicious eye twitch because angel eunwoo cannot lie to save his life 
  • but from that point on eunwoo just keeps staring shamelessly out his window into the room in the opposite tower and ducks his head whenever bin looks his way
  • bin swears eunwoo is staring at him but he figures it’s just him projecting onto eunwoo 
  • at this point mj and jinjin are so dOne with their dongsaengs like u lil shits please 
  • so one night sleepy baby bin is hauling his laundry down to the laundry room because hell he doesn’t have any clean clothes for tomorrow so even though it’s 11pm he gotta do that shit 
  • and he’s in his soft pajama pants and rattiest hoodie loading his clothes into the washing machine when eunwoo comes round the corner 
  • wearing the softest sweater and his cute ass glasses and carrying a neat laundry hamper 
  • like literally who folds their clothes before putting them into a laundry hamper fricking cha eunwoo that’s who 
  • and so sleepy baby bin is just dumping his clothes in and eunwoo just freezes because this is the Grumpy Bad Bad Boy™ in the west tower but instead of being in all black he’s wearing his huge ass glasses and he’s in his pjs and he looks so soft and huggable eunwoo wants to cry 
  • but bin suddenly looks up because ??? shit he forgot to bring detergent down and he doesn’t want to go all the way up to the 12th floor to get it he figures he might as well borrow from whoever just walked in and he looks up and 
  • eunwoo lets out an embarrassing sqUEAK 
  • and grumpy baby bin turns red so fast like whAT WAS THAT SOUND DID THAT RLY COME FROM EUNWOO 
  • o good lord it IS eunwoo what do i do what do i do whAT DO I DO
  • ‘HiCanIBorrowDetergentPlease&ThankYou’
  • and eunwoo’s frozen and he can’t say anything because 1) wtf the guy he’s been staring at for the longest time just talked to him and 2) he,,, can’t understand,,,,,,,,,,,, 
  • and so bin clears his throat and has to squeak out ‘hi can i please borrow some detergent i left mine upstairs’ in a slightly calmer voice
  • he lies, he’s not calm at all 
  • and when eunwoo, wide-eyed and wondering what he did well in this life to have the most gorgeous boy he has ever seen acknowledge him and use his detergent, hands him his detergent bottle, bin flushes red 
  • and because we all know bin is smooth af he says something like ‘i can totally make it up to you with a coffee tomorrow?’
  • or rather, he thinks he says something like that
  • because it went more along the lines of ‘ah coffee yes tomorrow????’
  • and poor baby eunwoo??? standing there in his soft sweater and his glasses being all confused???? doesn’t understand what bin is trying to say???? me too eunwoo me too 
  • until bin clears his throat and flushes even redder and holds eunwoo’s detergent bottle back out to him goes ‘can i make it up to you with coffee tomorrow?’
  • he wants to stab himself wtf who asks the most beautiful person in the world for detergent and then coffee
  • and it’s eunwoo’s turn to stand there mildly shocked (read: hella shocked) and accepts his detergent bottle back with a quiet ‘yes, alright’ and a small smile
  • bin is internally combusting 
  • eunwoo is also internally combusting 
  • so when bin flies back upstairs and screams at jinjin and rocky they smack him on the back and coo at how Grumpy Bad Bad Boy™ binnie finally gets his first date with nerd boy from the east tower 
  • and before eunwoo can even open his mouth mj waves a text from jinjin in his face and screaMS EVEN LOUDER AT EUNWOO ABOUT HIS BABY ANGEL EUNWOO GOING ON HIS VERY FIRST DATE!!!!!!!!!!!
  • bin can totally hear it but he’s grinning to hard to care
  • i’m grinning too hard to care
  • i just 
  • i rly love binu 
  • i rly love astro fluff
  • moral of the story if you see a cute guy in the laundry room please talk to him
  • not that i have ever i hate myself
  • inspired by the cute sleepy boy i saw in the laundry room at 1am this morning
  • for hwarang hoe @nataliekaytbh ily u smol tol child
Undertale fans zodiac sings.
  • Aries: I just want to taste papyrus' spaghetti already
  • Taurus: I don't understand how dETERMINATION is supposed to keep you alive, I mean you dyin when you dyin that's it.
  • Gemini: the puns makes me feel like I have a life with a meaning.
  • Leo: wait, wait, wAit. how does a fish breathe oxygen again
  • Virgo: sans is my baby if you do something to him I will seriously stab you in the eye
  • Scorpio: I love the music, I live for the music, the music, yes, music, mMmMMмᎷUSℹ︎Сc
  • Sagittarius: //downloads a lot of fanart, A L O T//
  • Aquarius: hOI!! IM ABOUT TO KILL FLOWEY.
  • Pisces: why the fuck you dyin why you always dyin mMMMM OH MY GOD STOP DYING.
Dirty Sights Taint Pure Minds

So hey guys. Ik, i haven’t really been active on Tumblr in a million years so I want to apologize. I felt that I needed to take a break from Tumblr because it was putting unnecessary pressure on me to get new stuff out everyday. Which is something that is IMPOSSIBLE with my schedule. All in all it was stressing me out and making my anxiety flare up, something I’ve been working for the last two years to get under control. I still LOVE Tumblr, but I don’t know if I will be returning until the summer starts and my schedule relaxes. I love you all I just want you to know that, but I feel that my mental health is important. So, on a happier or smuttier note, here is my fic for Ash’s 2nd Writing Challenge. Please everyone go follow her and read her stuff. She is a really big inspiration to me just because she is an amazing writer and a supercool, openminded and understanding person. If everyone on Tumblr was like her than Tumblr would be better like magically going to school with Harry, Hermione and Ron and being their best friend. And who the frick can top that? Anyway, enjoy. I wish I had put more time into this, but I’m trying not to be a perfectionist so here is my un-perfect fic. Luv ya all! @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash

Request: Me because I wanted to join in on the smutty fun of Ash’s challenge

Summary: Read whats in bold ;)

Characters: Negan, OC - Amara and OC - Anita (Negan x Amara)

POV: Third POV

Warnings: Smut. Negan’s cursing. Age Difference. Unprotected sex. 

Dirty Sights Taint Pure Minds

“You want me to make you feel like a woman, baby girl? You want me to touch your body in all the places your father told you to never let anyone? You want daddy to make that succulent cunt squirt all over my sheets over and over and over again? Do you want daddy to show you what fun we can have blind? Tell daddy you want him to fucking destroy that tight little virgin pussy of yours, baby girl.”

Keep reading

EXO: when you need cuddles

Xiumin:  eyes you warily to make sure you aren’t just teasing him like always (he knows you always bait him to cuddle smh), but he can tell you’re genuinely tired and look stressed. He’d happily drop everything he’s doing if it’s unimportant and come to your aid. “Aish, when are you gonna stop working so hard, jagi? You need rest. You wanna nap with me?”

Suho:  will not hesitate to find the nearest blanket and wrap it around you both. Constantly asking you about your day and if something went wrong for you to look this tired. Nods his head and listens intently to whatever you’re saying, and softly brushes your hair as he shuffles closer to your body. Is always down for cuddles, so he’s cheering on the inside that he gets to comfort you all while being this close.

Lay:  fusses over you like a grandmother. “Did you not get enough sleep? Are you drinking too much coffee? Why are you sad, baby? You want me to hold you?” Traps you in his strong arms until you explain your rainy mood. Smiles as he suggest making hot drinks, and cuddles with you while you watch funny videos, to cheer the both of you up.

Baekhyun:  "omo…jagi, do you need some snuggles?“ Tries his best to make you laugh and cheer you up, telling you about funny things that happened throughout his day and how kyungsoo almost stabbed him with a spoon. Dims down the lights in your apartment and pulls you close to him on the couch, playing some movies in the background as you talk, or listening to some new music he’s discovered.

Chen:  absolutely hates seeing you stressed or sad in general, and tries to get the the bottom of it before you start crying or throwing a tantrum and having him be the target of all the insults. Makes some snacks or your favorite drink, and sits you down to talk. Sympathizes with you and holds your hand as he tells you it’ll all be alright, and hugs you tightly.

Chanyeol:  "yahhh…stop moping around, show me that pretty smile!!” After all his attempts at cheering you up fail, he sighs heavily and pulls you into his lap. He strokes your hair and kisses your shoulders, telling you it’s normal to have bad days…but they should always be good bc you’ve got him. Lays down and throws you on top of him to be more comfortable, and sighs in content as you snuggle closer.

D.O.:  his soft and emotional side will get the best of him, and he can’t help but to worry for you. “Let me make you a quick meal so you’d feel better, yeah?” After eating and resting your head lazily on his shoulder, he’d pull you closer and peppers little kisses all over your palm and wrists.

Kai:  is so confused as to why you’re not feeling as happy as usual, and does cute tricks with his puppies to cheer you up. Would keep pouting until you tell him what’s wrong, and when you tell him you just need his cuddles, he’ll jump on top of the bed and lay next to you. Plays soft music and hums along to the words, his voice lulling you to sleep.

Sehun:  "no no no…you can’t be sad too. I just had a bad day so you better smile and hug me or we’re both gonna be crying.“ Nonstop complaining as he buries his head in your neck, but he still tries and makes you feel better. Wouldn’t really be up to watching movies or cheering up, he’s more than content being tired with you and cuddling until the next day.

Originally posted by starricks-moustache

Bad Ideas (Chapter 14)

This Chapter is longish, almost 3000 words. And rough guys, it was hard to write, hard to edit, hard to re read.
Trigger warnings– sexual assault (discussed/threatened) violence, people die. Violent!Peter is not to be fucked with, and he goes to a pretty dark place.
So… be warned lovelies. This is no longer our light hearted little fic it once was.

That being said, I’d also REALLY like to know what you think because zero feedback on a chapter makes me nervous! I have some very specific reasons for writing certain parts of this the way I did, so feel free to drop by my ask box with any questions!

If you need to catch up, here’s the MASTERLIST

God it hurts.
Peter knew without opening his eyes that he was tied to a chair, his arms forced back in an uncomfortable stretch, his legs tied down as well. Definitely wasn’t at home any more, not that there would be much left of their house after that explosion, but he could smell the dank and damp of a subterranean basement and that made him nervous.

Everything hurt so badly, from his head where it had smashed into the floor, clear down to his feet, probably burned from the blast since he had been barefoot.

He had been thrown into the second bedroom when the rocket blew, landing on the bed for a split second before he had managed to flip it over on top of himself and curl into a ball, trying to avoid the worst of the debris.

He didn’t remember getting dragged it of the house, or the ride to wherever he was now, but everything fucking hurt and he couldn’t help groaning when he tried to lift his head.


Thank god Wade is here too.
“Wade?” He licked his lips and gingerly straightened up.
The Alpha was tied to a chair several yards away, ankles and hands shackled, rope wrapped around him several time to keep him immobile.

“Oh fuck baby boy I wasn’t sure if you were okay.” Wade tried to lean forward to get a better look at him. “Been calling your name for hours, I was so worried you weren’t going to wake up. You okay? Just banged up? You alright? I am going to kill these guys, Peter I swear to god.”

Keep reading

I have so much to say.

Chapter 21 is the first time personally that I was SCREAMING the entire time with the background imagery. 

first, Koogi’s landscapes and other nature shots were SO GOOD holy cow I was in awe of her illustrations (even more so than usual!)  

Second, did ya peep Bum wearing Sangwoo’s mother’s jacket????!!!!! BIIIITTTTTCCCHHH Sangwoo put Bum in HIS MOTHER’S JACKET AND THEN GAUGED BUM’S REACTION TO THE FUCKING APPLES!!!!! I AM LIVING

Third, the whole “you stepped on my dad” thing had me cackling at the absurdity this motherfucker brought his very cute bf out to his dad’s grave site??? Like ya’ll know what that meant the second he said it. Did Sangwoo kill his father? YES! Does Sangwoo have a dump site for all of his murdering? YES! Is Sangwoo going to make Bum bury Jieun? (I forgot how to spell her name. i did not like her at all and you all can fight me okay?) YOU BET YOUR ASS HE IS!! 

fourth, I love how Sangwoo is honesty so predictable and yet Bum is still shocked each time like come on Doofenshmirtz Perry is going to break in and you fucking know it. Like every time Sangwoo is soft and sweet to Bum he does something Fucked Up™ to gauge Bum’s reaction and yet every time our poor baby falls for it, immediately thinking that Sangwoo has changed and loves him. It’d be funny if it didn’t make me want to cry so bad. 

fifth, did you guys notice that Sangwoo helped Bum up and immediately made a stab at the fact that Bum could’ve gotten the jacket dirty????? HE DIDN’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT HELPING BUM UP HE JUST WANTED HIS MOTHER’S JACKET OFF THE DIRTY ASS GROUND

Sixth, Bum was cute as fuck this chapter and actually had a nice time, god bless.

stop torturing me lyrics

stop torturing me

first time in a while that i haven’t been bored
first time in a while i’ve been able to record
in bated breath i would open up the door
when you were cold i made sure you were alive

first time in a while that i haven’t been online
first time in a while i took you by surprise
you took in all of it
that’s what i like
there’s a person i forgot about
it happens all the time

can you feel it deeper wrapped around your spine
to you then back to me
there’s a secret we both keep
i was passionately on about it
know that you won’t leave
you are you and i am me

i feel somehow i’m connected
i feel you for real and how you’re so selective
baby don’t push away
i said from the beginning
if i knock real slow
will you answer

i feel there’s a separation
i’m not who i was in 2011
but i stay attuned to what you’re really after
does your heart beat slow when i call you

bad side

thought it’d be cool if we didn’t have to all the time
didn’t know what i would be missing
there’s a lot to take in
i lost track of time
thought i could fix it
i was mistaken
and now you always have me looking at your back so far behind
i know there’s a thing that we’ve never done
i know we should talk but i’m so tired

have you ever seen me as a god
ripped jeans when i’m at the mall
i dream and it comes to me
then wake and nothing at all
i dream of a cemetery back to you and my heart beats on and off
i’m checking in for my sake and i
i really want to talk so just help me

baby i’m on your bad side
but i’ve got ideas for changing your mind

physically i’m reaching out to you and all the time
she says she’s forsaken
maybe she is
but then so am i

you’re a young light sleeper on the edge of the bed
and i’m so sedated that i sleep through the night
do you remember in the pool
body’s crashing into you
realities a secret and i
i really want to talk but i’m so alone

baby i’m on your bad side…

when will it end

and i can’t get an answer
when i’m high at the mixer
i found what i’m good at
it’s you and i’m on that
no girl i’m a live wire
what’s death but an option
what’s love separation
wicca phase springs eternal…

and you like the pull from the back
you like to be on the attack…
you liked my songs in the past
you used to like when i talked to you bad

when will it end…
when will it end…
know i’ll always get back to you
but i’m so sick of that attitude
i don’t need anymore
when will it end…
can i want my baby and have her too
i’m sick of that attitude

i reach out to you in song

i feel my hands numb
what’s the point of beds if you destroy all of them
seven gang
seven marks you left on my skin
i’ve got a friend but a friend is all that she is
she has her secrets and i’ve mine
we’re matched up when it comes to lies
let me in
let me off when i’ve reddened eyes
don’t be surprised
it’s not on you
it’s on i and i
and i would laugh at all of it if i was sure it wasn’t mine
something will break
just not my heart and just not tonight
she has her secrets…

and i can’t
even feel
any love

she has control now
passing on
i reach out to you in song…

i need a place i can rest

i was in the back counting up for baby
because i really want a house for vacation baby
and i really want to show you i’m forever lately
seven pisces gang
pull up black mercedes
and i pull up touching death like nobody save me
i’ve been eyeing up the knife bc it wanna take me
if i’m a bad man then you’re like half that
@kournikovax on the instagram…

oh woman i can hardly call you mine when i know that you’ve been lying
when the back of your hands gets to covering your eyes
and the sun goes down on a cemetery night
automatic silhouette signed “i know you’re mine”
i remember feeling like you’re always on mind
all i want is something that i can’t explain…
it’s for you to text me right back…

i need a place i can rest
stab me in the chest and the neck
i used to feel violently alone
now i’m trying to make it like then

from the flights and the shows when i travel by myself
and the shows are always tight but my heart is such a mess
i never said you were really falling for my live
now i step back
GUCCI in all black
i was in the back counting up for baby
because i really want a house for vacation baby
and i really want to show you i’m forever lately
pull up black mercedes

i need a place i can rest from the clubs and the shows and relationship stress…
tell me can you unbreak my back
tell me where the real love is at…

and i found my way back home…
when i call you don’t answer that…
it’s the same as it always is…
i need a place i can rest

Celebrate My Followers and Dean

So Yay! I hit 300 followers, you know what that means? It’s time for my celebrate Dean challenge. Why, because he’s awesome! There’s only a few rules, message me with the Dean quote you’d like, it’s one per quote so may want two options. Fics are due by May 30th. Fics can be smut, fluff, AU, OC, drabble, but they must be Dean fics. You can pair Dean with anyone, use any ship with Dean. If you want to do RP just make sure it’s Jensen Ackles. Label all your triggers and warnings. Tag me @deanjensengirlmaggie and #Deanisawesomechallenge

“Shark week, man. How do you not watch that”

“You’re gonna get me some pie.”

“Don’t objectify me”

“Look around you, man. The world is going in the toilet.”

“Hey, do I really say awesome a lot?”

“Where’s the pie?”

“I will kill you, your children and your grandchildren”

“There ain’t no me, if there ain’t no you.”

“There are times I wanna get slapped during sex by a girl wearing a Zorro mask. That doesn’t make it a good idea.” @bulletscrossbowpie

“Evil bitch”

“You like my ass”

“A wise man once told me, family doesn’t end in blood, it doesn’t start there either.”

“I’m gonna stuff my pie hole, I’m gonna drink and I’m gonna watch some Asian cartoon porn.”

“I think you pissed off my sandwich”

“Dragon penis” @twdjunkie2

“I’m Batman”

“You’re bidding the moon”

“Don’t make me lick your damn face”

“You don’t want to go fighting ghosts without health insurance.”

“May God save us from all the people who think they’re doing God’s work”

“I know how you look into a mirror and hate what you see”

“But there are times you run and there are times you stand and fight.”

“I think I’m adorable” @cenagirlsrda

“Numbing the pain will make it worse when you finally feel it.” @scarygoodfanfics

“I can’t do it Cas, it’s too big.” @totallypaletrash

“Well when in doubt, eat.”

“Give me the baby before I stab you in your neck.”

“I swear the next person who asks me if I’m okay, I’m going to start throwing punches.”

“People cry, not because they’re weak. It’s because they’ve been strong for too long.” @deanjensengirlmaggie

“You wanna go hunt? I’ll hunt, I’ll kill anything.”

“I wanted you to know, when I do picture myself happy, it’s with you.”

“Nobody cares that you’re broken”

Tags @faith-in-dean @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @nichelle-my-belle @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @dancingalone21 @jotink78 @ilostmyshoe-79 @roxy-davenport @beckawinchester @mamaredd123 @winsmut @impalaimagining @itswitchcraft-not-googlemaps @not-moose-one-shots @not-so-natural-spn @sis-tafics @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @madamelibrarian @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @helvonasche @iwantthedean @avasmommy224 @nothin-after-79

- ̗̀  shit the squad says sentence starters  //  vol.4  ̖́-

  1. “My ass stinks.”
  2. “They are high on life.”
  3. “She wants those damn cookies.”
  4. “Phones have apps now?”
  5. “I MEANT CARS!”
  6. “I’m gonna gay just thinking about it.”
  7. “God dammit, I hate you guys.”
  8. “IT’S IN THE WALL!”
  9. “It doesn’t have ass-cheeks!”
  10. “Please don’t kill me ____, I’m too pretty to die.”
  11. “Did I really say that?”
  12. “I don’t know half the shit that comes from my mouth.”
  13. “I forgot my password, you gossipy toucans!”
  14. “I should go to jail.”
  15. “This cherry looks like an apple, it’s so cute.”
  16. “Throw her in Christmas jail.”
  17. “Those outfits and backdrop were inappropriate.”
  18. “That whole damn movie is inappropriate.”
  19. “I’m a nun who pulls her ass muscles praying.”
  20. “I don’t have Alzheimer’s, I’m just blind.”
  21. “Slayin’ the new year already.”
  22. “Why are these still a thing.”
  23. “Back to cowtown for you.”
  24. “I didn’t bring enough fucking pumpkins.”
  25. “I’m out of cranberries.”
  26. “Oh fuck off, I don’t want to kill more turkeys.”
  27. “Oh my god, we have to make more?”
  28. “I’m done, I’m just waiting on your ass.”
  29. “Get on me, bitch.”
  30. “Ride this beast.”
  31. “Glad I dumped him.”
  32. “You had a boyfriend?”
  33. “Real ladies stab you.”
  34. “Hang on, I accidentally changed my pants.”
  35. “K up, piggies.”
  36. “Baby needs a bottle.”
  37. “Owned!”
  38. “I saw that you nasty bitch.”
  39. “They stare at me like they want to devour my innards.”
  40. “Eat the meat!”
  41. “Come on you little bitch.”
  42. “Throwing snowballs is dark-sided.”
  43. “I chose to be the good guy.”
  44. “How was that good?!”
  45. “It said good side points!”
  46. “If good side points told you to kill me, would you?”

russianspacegeckosexparty  asked:

PTA Mom Bucky roasting Kathy Sue in the school parking lot over a parking space dispute

“Why is it always you?” Kathy shouts. “Why is it always you and your litter that manages to ruin my day?”

Bucky leans on his van and tells the girls to stay inside. “You know what, Kath? You’re right. Why is it always me and my babies who manage to ruin your day? You tell me.”

She purses her lips. “I don’t have to tell you anything, Barnes. Just move out of my parking space.”

“I didn’t see your name on it, I didn’t see that big ass head of your’s painted into the space. I didn’t smell your cheap perfume. Your walking booger of a son wasn’t holding the space for you, Kath, how the hell was I supposed to know that this is Kathy Sue’s official space?”

Kathy Sue’s eye twitches. “Maybe if you cut your hair you’d be able to see me coming.”

“Maybe if you weren’t too focused on making sure your cleavage was on display for goddamn Google Earth to see you’d notice that this was my parking space all along.”

Monica stuck her head out the window. “TALK ABOUT HER RADIO, POP!”

“Right! Thanks, baby. AND ANOTHER THING, maybe if your car radio wasn’t such a piece of shit and you weren’t playing Shania Twain’s greatest hits for the entire school, making us want to literally stab ourselves in the ear drums-”


Bucky turns to her. “Don’t curse, honey.” he turns back to Kathy. “YOUR MUSIC TASTE IS BULLSHIT! Get a better stereo or drive in silence.”


Pregnancy Series - Part two: Sorry doesn’t always make it right

A/N: So here’s the second part, yaye!! The next part will be the first ultrasound! Let me know what you think! xx

Part One

*10 weeks*

“Hey mopey,” Mia coos as she drops herself next to you on your bed, “It’s been like two weeks, you know, you should either get over it and move on or answer when he calls.”

“I don’t even care about that anymore,” You scoff loudly in denial before shoving a handful of popcorn in your mouth, “I don’t need him, I can do this by myself,” You say in mock confidence, obviously trying to convince yourself along with her, “Nothing he has to say to me now will make any of this better, besides he’s probably just freaking out that I’ll go to the press or something.”

“Okay, well, while you continue to live in denial,” She rolls her eyes, grabbing the bowl of popcorn from your lap before continuing, “There’s a lady at the door for you.”

“What,” You exclaim; sitting up straight in your bed in shock, “I never get visitors…”You trail off incredulously, “What does she want with me?”

“I don’t know,” She shrugs uninterested, her eyes focused on the movie you were watching, “She just asked for you. I left her in the kitchen; you should probably go see what she wants.”

“You can’t just leave a stranger alone in my kitchen,” You gasp, quickly standing up, frantically looking around for some pants, “What if she steals something?”

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Roman Reigns Appreciation Week - Day 3: Favorite Quotes

“When I want to say something, I’ll say it”.

“And if you ever touch me again, I’m gonna break your old ass in half”.

“Baby girl, actions always speak louder than words. Remember that.”

“Renee, do I look like I’m faceless, baby?”

“Nine stitches. Is that your best shot? Because if it is, you have so many problems.”

“You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t piss in the wind, and you don’t ever stab your brothers in the back”.

“I would cock here this fist, and I would make it rain in that bitch”.

“I just wanted to come out here and hear everybody tell you ‘you suck’ live”.

“Or maybe I could just punch you in your mouth right now”.

“It is what it is, Bray. Your big ‘un right there, he whooped our ass last Monday on Raw. But it ain’t the first time we been whooped, and it might not be the last, so if we’re going down, we’re going down swinging”.

“It’s three on three, and we’re gonna whoop y'alls ass.”

“Let me ask you, training wheels. Do you even respect him? Do you respect him as a man, as your leader? Because it just looks like to me like he’s a little bitch”.

“What, y'all can’t hear me or something?”

“This ain’t boring, baby. This is real life.”

“I agree with you 100%. But what you need to know is when they lock that cell, you are gonna be wishing you were trapped in there with anyone but me.”

“No matter what, we will always be brothers. Believe that!”

“We’ll jump off that bridge together – when the time’s right.”

“It’s me and you fighting for the championship, just like it’s supposed to be.”

“For real though, it wasn’t that long ago, at Royal Rumble…y'all know how it was. It was rough. But a lot of my progression and a lot of my motivation came from that night. So in a weird, hindsight way, thank you guys so much. Life ain’t fair. Sometimes you gotta get kicked in the ass to get better, and that’s what happened. And that’s why we’re here now! Thank you so much. I’ll never forget tonight!”

“Look Jojo, that’s the thing about me and Dean. We’re never on the same page. We might be in the same book, but definitely not on the same page. He’s crazy and I dig that about him. It makes us different. He’s got his own style. I got mine. What happened earlier tonight, that’s just an accident. We’re on the Road to Wrestlemania. Accidents happen. But at Fastlane, between me, Dean, and Brock, that’s not gonna be an accident. That’s gonna be an 18 car pile-up. That’s gonna be serious. Tonight, though, against Rusev and Del Rio, me and Dean…we ride together, we fight together, and we’re gonna win, together. Believe that.”


a while ago i mentioned that i read a bunch of marvel fics, and how one day i was going to make the rec list to end all rec lists. but i never actually did the thing, because wow that was a lot of effort. well, as you can see, i proved myself wrong and actually made the thing happen. this includes mcu, xmen, tasm, and aos, and just about every ship imaginable. because im a huge multi-shipper. fics are sorted alphabetical order, then labeled with universe, pairing (or centric for gen fics), and whether the fic is an au, canon-divergence, canon verse, or marvel-based au.

so without any further ado:

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Pregnancy 4 (Theo Raeken Imagine)

Request: Can you do a pregnancy 4 it’s so good.
;Part 4 to pregnancy please it’s amazing
;OMG! Your pregnancy series are amazing! Please update soon! 
; omg, pls do a part 4 of ‘pregnancy’ !!!
; Can you do a part 4 of the pregnancy series? I really like it and I think you’re an amazing writer and more!

 A/n: This is the last part of Pregnancy series! Thank you guys so much for reading this series and for everyone to always request more parts, thank you! I hope you enjoy it x

 p.s I tried making it longer!

 Part 1- Part 2- Part 3

Last on Part 3 of Pregnancy:
I arrived shortly at my house and wiped my tears away but they wouldn’t stop falling down my face. I slammed my car door shut and walked to my door. I unlocked the door and turned the light on as i threw my jacket on the couch, I turned around and let out a loud scream. Sitting on my couch was Theo with a small on his face.

“Hi babe, miss me?” He asked, arching an eyebrow as he give me a smile. I stood there frozen not knowing what to do or what i’ll say. I put my hand on my stomach and tried calming myself down. I stood there for a while, wondering what the hell am i going to say to the ‘monster’ infront of me.

 “Theo what the hell are you doing here?” I exclaimed as i was wondering how he got in my house. Theo stayed quiet and looked at me with a smirk on his face.

 “Miss me baby?” He asked, standing up and coming his way towards me. I looked at him confused, i wanted to run up to him and hug him but i remember what Scott told me. He’s the bad guy now.

 “Why are you here?” I asked coldly as i took a step back as he keeps getting closer to me. He grabbed both my hands and pushed me against the wall, trapping me. “Let me go!”

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Never Ending Nightmare

Title: Never Ending Part 2 Nightmare

Pairing: Dean x Reader (Prophet)

Warning: Strong language, Violence

Im So glad you guys like the first part of this story and I really hope you guys like this one :)

Part 1


When you awoke everything was dark. Black. You could feel the side of your face was swollen from them smacking your head against the library table in temps to make you stop trying to get away. A Red Hot pain was on your side from when one of them stabbed you after you wouldn’t listen following the yells from the tall man not wanting you dead yet.

The blackness you saw was torn away as someone pulled off the bag over your head. The tall man smirked down at you as you saw an empty room with three men standing around it. A table sat next to you with things you wish weren’t there.

He pulled the gag out of your mouth as you felt dried tears on your face, You knew there was no point in screaming it would just be followed by pain.

“Rule number 1, No screaming” Your eyes didnt look at the man as he stood in front of you. “Rule number 2″ He lifted your chin up making you look at him. “Look at me when im speaking” You swallowed at the growing lump in your throat. He dropped his hands putting them into his pockets. “Rule number 3, You will tell me everything I want to know, And if you dont, Well…” his eyes turned to metal table next to you. 

A tear ran down your face as you shook “Please…Just let me go..” You said lightly as more tears left your eyes. The man just laughed as you pulled on the robe that was tying your hands together along with your feet. “Please..” You whispered as his hand went to your throat “Did I tell you to speak!” He screamed in your face. He picked up a knife that was on the table and held the tip to your shoulder. “Now, Have you spoken or seen God.” You clenched your jaw and shook your head no. “SPEAK!” you jumped blinking the tears out of your eyes. “no” you got out in with a harsh voice.  He pushed the knife so it went through your shirt and the tip was in your skin. you closed your eyes trying to not think of the pain. “Have you read any of the tablets?” he said in a low voice “No…” he pushed the knife in deeper “Visions of any kind?” you let out a held in breath as you tried to make your tears stop. “No” The man clenched his jaw before pushing the knife all the all the way through your shoulder. You screamed out in pain. He pulled it out holding it to your neck. “I said no screaming..” He spoke right before stabbing you in the other shoulder. You held in your scream just trying to breathe “I..I dont know anything I swear” You cried out. The man took in a deep breath sighing “Dont fuck with me Y/N!” You felt his fist hit the side of your jaw. The taste of copper filled your mouth.\


“I found the car dean” Sam spoke as he typed on his computer. Deans head snapped up as he reached over the table turning the his lab top around seeing a security video from a gas station he could barley make out you sitting in the back seat as three men in black suits sat inside as well. “Thats them” be spoke standing up grabbing his coat along with his keys. “ Its about a days drive, Lets go” 

Dean had not been able to think straight with you gone. Horrible things were running through his head. What they could be doing to you. The moon lit up the road in the middle of the cold night as dean gripped the steering wheel. Music turned off. Glaring at the road ahead of them. Speeding. Sam broke the silence “Dean..” Dean looked at him before looking back at the road. “You need to prepare your self -” Dean cut him off. “Dont.” He said harshly “Dean..She might be dea-” Dean cut him off again but this time looking at him “I said dont…” Sam nodded before looking down on the map on his phone. “I know sammy…” dean spoke softly gripping the steering wheel harder “I just..I just dont want to think about it” Sam looked at him with a sigh. “Dean I know you dont want to think about it or hear it but you have to. She might already be dead” Dean slammed on the breaks turning to sam “I said dont sam, how many times!” This time sam cut him off “No dean you have to think about this if you go in just thinking she might be chained to chair with not a cut your wrong! We dont know these guys! So you better be ready for what were about to walk into because im not going to watch you die again!” Dean didnt say anything he kept his grip on the steering wheel as he glared ahead.A second went by before dean spoke looking over at him with tears in his eyes. “You dont think I know that…Shes the best thing thats happen to me and im not ready to let her go. Not yet sam.” Dean started the car and started going again. “Im not letting her be torn away from me like everything else.” Sam stared at him as he watched a tear run down deans cheek as he drove. Sam closed his eyes letting out his held breath. He knew how much dean loved you. 


Your head hung low your eyes shut as blood dripped from your mouth. The stab wounds on your shoulders were still leaking blood as your gray shirt was now dark red. Your shirt stuck to your skin from the dried blood. You didnt know how many hours pasted before the door came slamming open. You lifted your head feeling light headed from the blood loss. “Your wasting my time Y/N” The tall man said gripping your chin making you look at him one of your eyes were already black and blue. “Tell me something already or im just going to kill you.” You smiled with a slight laugh. “Go ahead..” you choked out right before he hit you again. He placed his thumb on your shoulder where the wound was pressing it in you couldnt help but scream followed by sobbing. “Please…stop” you cried He pushed his thumb into your other wound on your side. “I will as soon as you tell me.” You shook your head “I dont know anything” You could barely get out. He twisted his thumbs as you screamed again. “Im useless!” you screamed out sobbing. He pulled his thumbs out as your head dropped down clenching your eyes shut trying to breath  through your sobbing. He pulled out a handkerchief cleaning off his hands. “You are useless. Your a big piece of wasted space. They made a mistake with you. your no Prophet….  ” The man grumbled. 


Dean held his phone in his hand with a picture of you on it. “Have you seen this girl?” Dean asked the man standing behind the gas station counter “A SUV. Black. Where did it go” Dean spoke again as the man just shook his head “I dont know what your talking about. “ Dean glanced at sam who was filling up the Impala. “You kidding me right.” The kid looked behind dean as a man walked up behind him seeing your picture on his phone “O I know her.” Dean spun around seeing a man in a black suit “Shes quit the screamer” Dean went to punch the man but he grabbed his arm spinning him around. The Tall man walked into the empty gas station with his hands behind his back smirking. “Well Hello dean…” Dean glared at him “Where is she..” Dean shot at him. “Now thats no way to talk to each other is it?” The man spoke as sam walked in a man holding a gun to his head. “Fuck you” Dean spat and the man just laughed “Now do you want to see your girlfriend or not? You took long enough.” The man walked back outside as the men held guns to sam and deans back making them follow him. They walked to a ware house behind the run down gas station. 

The man swung open the door “Y/N I brought you something!” He spoke with a smile. Your head slowly looked up as you saw Sam then dean walk into the door. Deans heart started pounding at the sight of you. “What the hell did you do to her!” Dean yelled at the man as dean got pushed against the wall two men holding him there. The man walked up to dean with a smirk “Dont test me dean” He cut the side of deans neck lightly as he winced. 


Sam and dean were tied to chairs next to you as your eyes didnt leave dean. You gave dean a small smile when he looked over at you fear and hate in his eyes. You were getting tired. To tired as the blood kept slightly flowing. You looked back down at your lap taking in a shaky breath before speaking “I…I knew… guys would…show up” You gave sam a weak smile before looking back at dean. Dean looked you in the eyes not looking away. You wanted nothing more to just stare into his eyes and never look away but it got torn from you as the man grabbed the back of your head gripping your hair. Dean pulled at the ropes “Dont touch her” Dean gritted through his teeth. The man laughed “I knew I could get you all wound up, I cant wait to see what that mark does to you” Dean glared at him “Just wait untel I get loose… I wont kill you right away ill cut your chest open and rip your heart out” The man looked back to you with a smile grabbing his knife stabbing you in the stomach making you hunch over “No!” Both sam and dean yelled out as he pulled the knife from your stomach “FUCK YOU!” Dean screamed trying to get untied same with sam. “Now If you guys wanted to know. My name is Blaine..And im sure you wont forget it…” Dean wasnt listening to him he was trying to get you to look at him. “Y/N…” You kept hunched over you couldnt even cry anymore. “Baby…” Dean spoke trying to move his chair closing to you “Look at me baby” you turned your head as blood started to come out of your mouth. Deans face was filled with worry. “Stay with me..Your strong I know you are..” You nodded trying to breath spitting out the blood but more kept coming out. As dean spoke to you Blaine kept talking. Sam listened with his fist clenched “Why are you doing this” Sam spoke out as blaine looked at you and dean before looking back over at sam “I want answers…I need answers” “For what” Sam snapped back. “That my friend you dont need to know.” Sam got his hand loose waiting for Blaine to turn around only seeing three other men around the room all stood in front of them. Dean pulled on the ropes as hard as he could just wanting to touch you. As blaine turned around he was handed a gun from one of the men. As his back was turned to sam broke out of the ropes jumping up one of the men jumped infront of sam trying to stop him. 

Dean watched as anger started to boil inside of him. “Sam!” Dean yelled as sam knocked the man out as the others tried getting to him Blaine firing his gun shooting sam in the leg. Sam yelled out falling onto the floor right behind dean reaching up untying him. He knew what was coming next….Dean tried to hold back but the mark was burning turning his rage into something worse. Dean picked up the chair smashing it into one of the men then stomping on his head twice. Another man grabbed him from behind. Dean flipped him over his head picking up the the ice pick that was on the metal table shoving it into the mans mouth making him fall to the ground. 

As the fight was going on sam had untied you picking you up in his arms and limped out the door. Setting you down in the grass he pulled out his phone trying to call 911. No signal. Then he saw a big truck parked behind the gas station. “Ill be right back” He spoke to you as you curled up into a ball. Sam smashed the truck window opening the door as he began to hot wire it. Dean picked up the metal table next he threw it at the last man. Dean then kicked the table harder against him smashing him against the wall. Ripping off one of the table legs. He smashed the mans face in. Bullets hit the wall un tel one grazed deans side. He didnt even flinch turning around staring down Blaine. Gripping the table leg in his hand.

Sam sped to where you were lifting you onto the bench seat. You were shaking. He put your head in his hands. “Stay with me Y/N Your not dying. Your not leaving us” Everything was going black as you held your stomach. Sam took off his plaid shirt holding it against your stomach. “S-am” You tried talking. “Dont talk” Sam spoke. 

The gun clicked as Blaine pointed it at dean. He threw it down as Dean was walking towards him. pulling out his knife just as Dean Brought up the table leg blocking Blanies swing hitting his arm making the blade fall. Dean then hit his leg making Blaine fall to the floor. Dean got down putting his hand around his neck grabbing the knife that fell. “I told you what I was going to do..” Dean spoke glaring down at him as Blaine couldnt breathe. He began to cut down his chest…

Sam Came running into the building Freezing when he saw dean. What he was doing. He slowly walked up to them putting his hand on deans shoulder. “Dean…” Dean stopped standing up wiping the blood off his hands onto his jeans as Blaine looked up at them both un able to move anything else. “We need to get Y/N to the hospital…now” Dean rushed out the door and saw the truck door open with you laying inside of it. He got in moving you so your head was on his lap He held the shirt against you as you looked up at him. “Stay with me baby..” dean whispered as they sped off down the road. you opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. The black edges you saw were now over taking your vision, You passed out. “no no no” Dean spoke putting his hand on your face “Y/N! Wake up!” Sam sped as fast as he could. “Damn it NO!”

Read Part 3 Here

“Fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars, let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars - ”

“ - In other words: hold My hand! In other words: baby, kiss meeeee!”

“Fill my heart with song! Let me sing forever more! You are all I long for, all I worship and adore.”


“Did anyone say dance battle?”

“Oh God.. You guys are so lame, I cannot cope. you make me want to stab my eyes out with a fork ♬ “

That was the worst rhyme I’ve ever heard, just leave the singing to the bird!!

"I … don’t think that’s how the Frank Sinatra song goes!”

“Don’t be like that, big guy!! Come here and shake your hips with me!”

“Fuck, Steve! You look like if you have ants in your pants!”

“Ants in your pants, ants, ants in your pants!!”


“Fine, I will show you how it’s done! Nat, help me here!”

Anonymous asked: please could you do an 4/4 imagine where you break up but its in his pov and he’s really sad or he sees you again or something?? Thank you! btw I love this blog :-P

Rating: PG

Featuring: Calum

Author’s Note: I’m trying to get back into the swing of writing blurbs and such since I’m on hiatus from full fanfics so here y’go guys! I’m hella bad at doing 4/4 unless it’s a song request so I’m just gonna do Calum

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Friendly Reminder

That Sebastian Michaelis is always acting. There is not a shred of decency or truth in his demonic self. He is always acting. Always. Everything he says isn’t true- not lying is already a lie in itself. Lieception.

  • So when he says “Bard! You burnt all the food- damn you!” he actually means, “I love it when you burn all the food, Bard. Your explosions are lovely. You are a true artist and chef. Your food is divine.”
  • When he tells Mey-rin to be careful, he actually means, “please trip and break more dishes. I think it’s very cute and adds a lot to the Phantomhive aesthetic!”
  • And when he says, “ew” at Grell, that’s also a lie. He actually means, “Grell, please carry my babies! There is nothing that would make me happier than engaging in copulation with you.”
  • When he says he doesn’t want to meet Undertaker again, he actually means, “man, that Undertaker is a fun guy. I would just love him to stab me again. I think we really hit it off nicely.”
  • Everything he said about Ciel’s soul? Lies. He actually meant, “Your souls is the equivalent of a free peppermint grandmothers give out. I could care less if I eat it or not. I’m not even that hungry, tbh.”