makes me laugh like a seal

Unlucky Steam key scammer calls electronics, gets the dumbest employee in the world

When I worked at Walmart, I went from cart pusher->cashier->electronics->security. Sometimes after I switched to security, when electronics was really swamped, I’d help out for a few minutes. One day, the phone was ringing and I was walking by and randomly answered it.

Sir Scamalot: “Hello, sir, this is Steam Support services with Valve.”

Instantly, of course, I know this is a scam. I adore valve and played so many of their games too. I can’t believe my luck! Of all the calls to answer! Surprisingly he didn’t have some weird accent.

Me: “Oh, uh… what can I do for you?”

Sir Scamalot: “We’ve had reports that game keys shipped to your location may have an error that prevents it from authenticating, specifically the game Counter Strike. We need to validate your game keys to see if your affected.” [I forget which CS was on sale then, this was 2008].

Me: “Oh, what do I do?” As if I didn’t know.

Sir Scamalot: “Well I just need you to open any copies of the game you have and read me the CD key on the instruction manual so I can verify them with our validation software.” [or on the jewel case, I don’t remember that either]

Me: “Sure thing, can I put you on hold for a minute while I get those?”

Sir Scamalot: [obviously happy] “Sure!”

So I put Sir Scamalot on hold while I called all the other area stores electronics department and warned them about the scammer and confirmed nobody had taken a call like this earlier. About 15 minutes later, I get back to Scamalot.

Me: “Thanks for holding, but I can’t find any CD keys. I looked all through the book and the packages.”

Sir Scamalot: [annoyed] “Well sir, just open any copy of Counter Strike and on the-”

Me: “Oh, COUNTER STRIKE! I thought you said Counting Strikes, that bowling game, ok, hold on!”

Everyone in the department is listening and we all laugh. 10 minutes later, I’m back on the line.

Me: “Ok, I got what you’re looking for! What do you need?”

Now I make him walk me through how to open the box, including interrogating him for 5 minutes about how to do it without breaking the seal, then pretend I can’t find the book, etc etc.

Finally, I’m ready to read the code!

First, I read him the UPC. This upsets him. Then I read him a part number from something. Now he’s livid. Finally, I ask if he means the code on the book that says “game key” and has like groups of four digits with dashes (like he’s said probably 50 times already) and he gets excited again.

Oh, ok heres the game key…

Me: “Ok F… like frank. U… like uncle. C… like cat.”

Sir Scamalot: “Sir, I don’t think thats right, normally a code would-”

Me: “No, its. F, U, C, then K like kite. Next four is Y like yesterday. O like owl-”

And he swore at me and hung up.

It’s crazy. You’re raised to believe that when you meet “the one” you’re supposed to feel nervous, uncomfortable, anxious. But I met you, and everything felt right. I wasn’t scared because for whatever reason I knew I could trust you. I knew I could be myself with you. Since day one. I knew I could laugh like a fucking seal, that I could sing like no one was listening even though you were right next to me. I could say the weirdest shit with my delirious 3 am thoughts and you would giggle and agree. Or you’d make fun of me. But even then when you’re laughing at me I don’t feel vulnerable, because you do dumb shit too and I love it. I love that we can just be us.
That’s how it should feel. That’s how it should always feel.
—  Morning thoughts when you’re in my bed.
SOS - phandomlittlepop

Title: SOS

Drabbler: thatsmistertoyou

Beta: larryfravan

Doodler: @firedawnleafpool - art coming this Sunday!

Warnings: Copious amounts of swearing and pancakes

Summary: Dan’s actual job is working at Louise’s diner, but he could make a career out of saving cute dark-haired strangers from dates with assholes.

A/N: Thanks to the ever-wonderful @philslesters for her help with this. It’s about damn time I plucked up the courage to post 1k of fluff. This is my first time doing PLP and it was a lot of fun :)

“I understand why people do it, but the business side just doesn’t work, Phil,” the asshole at table four explains, and Dan’s a bit miffed for having missed that much of the conversation. He has no idea what Jerkface is on about.

“More Coke?” Dan asks Blue Eyes - or Phil, assuming Dingbat has his name right.

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are-you-sure-its-me-you-see  asked:

Hey, I love your blog and the things you write. Do you think you could do headcannons for the RFA + V and Serran finding MC's anti-depressants? Thanks so much in advance if you do.

Awww thank you so much for your kind words! I appreciate your patience since I really wanted to do this request justice! Thank you very much for the request and I hope that you enjoy!! ^^


Yoosung

  • You and Yoosung were doing some spring cleaning one day when the two of you had a free day
  • Yoosung was in charge of the kitchen and while he was going through the medicine cabinet, he found some strange pills that looked like something he’s never seen before
  • His eyes widened when he read the label saying that it was prescribed to you and that they’re anti-depressants
  • Without warning while you were dusting some shelves, Yoosung tackled you with a hug that forced both of you to the floor
  • Yoosung cradled your head to his neck, his tears streaming down his rosy cheeks but he somehow managed to talk to you
  • “I’m so sorry MC but I found your anti-depressants. I know that life can be tough and it may seem like you’re all alone, but please never forget that you aren’t! I’ll always be here for you through thick and thin. I want you to know that I love you and that you can fight your depression with me at your side!”
  • The two of you sat on the floor, both of you in tears as you held each other while Yoosung told you how much he loved you and how strong you are
  • Yoosung then picked you up and took you to the bedroom where the two of you spent the rest of the night talking about everything and cuddling the night away

Zen

  • After a long day at rehearsals, Zen was more then ready to come home and spend the rest of the evening with you
  • It had been an extremely long day for him, so much so that he developed an aching headache
  • So when Zen reached your home and went to grab some medicine, an unknown bottle fell to the floor
  • When he picked it up, his heart sunk when it read that they were your anti-depressants
  • Zen rushed to your shared bedroom, with you getting ready for bed, but instead Zen sat on the bed and pulled you onto his lap as he littered your face with kisses and kind words
  • “I love you so much MC. I want you to know that I accidentally found your anti-depressant pills but that will never stop me from loving you. I’m going to be there with you every step of the way until we beat your depression. But until then, know that I’m completely, utterly, and madly in love with you.”
  • Those kindhearted words were enough to set your tears flowing, feeling a great relief knowing that Zen knew the truth
  • That night you fell asleep to the sound of Zen singing as he held your hand, vowing to help you overcome your depression together

Jaehee

  • Jaehee was on the hunt to find the perfect ingredients to make the perfect cup of coffee with you waiting as her taste tester
  • She was searching through the cabinets to find that one perfect thing to add to the coffee
  • As Jaehee was looking, she noticed a medicine bottle pushed in the back corner of the cabinet
  • She grabbed it and slowly read the label, saying that it was your anti-depressants
  • Jaehee felt her stomach drop as she made her way over to you, taking hold of both of your hands as she gave you a swift kiss and plenty of caring words
  • “Please forgive me but I accidentally found your anti-depressants MC. I’ve never known anyone with depression but know that I’m going to be right here with you. We’re going to overcome this together, we’ll judo kick it away! A-anyways know that I love you and having depression won’t change that.”
  • Jaehee smiled gently as she kissed both of your hands and gave you a warm hug
  • You and Jaehee spent the rest of the night talking about your struggles while she listened intently, giving you words of encouragement and love as she held you close to her

Jumin

  • You and Jumin were having a small party for Elizabeth the Third’s birthday
  • He opened the finest bottle of wine available so the two of you quickly ran out and since you both weren’t drunk yet, Jumin went to get more
  • As he scoured through the kitchen to find more wine, he stumbled across the medicine cabinet and saw a bottle he’s never seen before
  • His eyes quickly scanned the label, saying it’s contents had anti-depressants prescribed to you
  • Jumin was at your side in an instant, sitting next to you on the couch as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and leaned you into his chest as he said sweet words to you
  • “I found your anti-depressants MC. I’m so sorry for not realizing soon about it, you make me so happy so I just assumed that you were too and that was foolish of me. I’ll do absolute anything to help you get better MC, just name it. But always remember that my love for you never falters and I want to spend every second of my life with you.”
  • Jumin kissed the top of your head as you cried into his chest, with him soothingly rubbing your arm
  • The night was spent cuddling with Jumin and Elizabeth the Third as he would kiss you all over, telling you how much he cherished and adored you

Seven

  • You came down with a cold one morning so it was up to Nurse Seven to take care of you
  • Once he had you laying in bed, Seven went to fetch some medicine from the cabinet
  • While searching, he saw a bottle of familiar looking pills and as he read the label, he saw that they were your anti-depressant pills
  • Seven felt as if the world was spinning but he burst through the bedroom door, with you looking up groggily at him and were met with a tight embrace
  • You felt Seven’s tears land on your shoulder as he held on to you tightly, telling you the words that you needed to hear
  • “MC, I found your anti-depressants. I know what it’s like, I use to take those pills too before you came into my life. You saved me from my depression so I’m going to save you from yours. I’m going to make you smile so much that you’ll completely forget about your depression! I love you to the moon and back MC, never forget that.”
  • Not caring if he caught your cold, Seven locked his lips with yours, sealing his promise with a sweet yet sad kiss that made you cry as well
  • Seven kept true to his promise, you were smiling and laughing more then you had in a long time, this boy would help you overcome your depression no matter what

V

  • V had noticed you were a bit off the past couple of days, greatly concerning him
  • You seemed to put on a fake smile and he would hear you crying when he’d come home late at night from work
  • One night when V was looking for his eye drops, he found a bottle of pills that he’s never seen before
  • Squinting so he could read the label, V’s fear became true when he saw that they were your anti-depressants
  • V calmly walked over to the bedroom to find you reading a book and slowly snuggled himself into bed with you
  • He gently kissed your forehead and rubbed his nose against yours as he told you warming words of love
  • “When I was looking for my eye drops, I found your anti-depressants MC. Please know that I’ll always remain with you because I love you. I promise to help you get through this, I’ll do absolutely anything to help you with your recovery my dear. You make me so happy and feel loved so I vow to make you always feel the way I do.”
  • Hearing V’s sincere words of loved caused you to start crying as he held you close to his chest, listening to his heartbeat to calm you down
  • You and V worked together to help battle your depression, with V constantly reminding you how much he loves you

Unknown

  • Saeran would be eternally grateful for all that you’ve done to help him with his recovery process
  • Even though it was hard for him to express it, he genuinely loved having you by his side and he’d do anything for you
  • So when the two of you were having a movie night, he went to get some ice cream and while looking for some sprinkles, he saw a bottle of pills in the back of the cabinet
  • Saeran cautiously took the bottle and covered his mouth in shock when he read that they were your anti-depressant pills
  • Without warning, Saeran picked you up and took you to the bedroom, wrapping the two of you in a blanket and whispered loving words to you
  • “Listen, I found your anti-depressants MC. They were… next to mine. I don’t want you to feel depressed, I know how much it sucks. So we’re going to work together to beat both of our depressions alright? I know I don’t say it enough but I love you MC.“
  • Saeran wrapped a protective arm around you as you cried into his chest, but feeling his warmth made you feel safe and secure
  • You and Saeran spent the rest of the night talking about what made the two of you happy, falling asleep in each other’s arms with both of you smiling
go on like we belong (together)

Vex has a bit of a trip to make. Percy offers to come along. It’s all a little more complicated than she expects. [2K]

@percyvex mentioned a perc’ahlia road trip au and I have no self control so. happy birthday kaity!! think of this as a taste of things to come <3

“You coming then?” Vax asks, when the silence has stretched too long.

“Yeah,” Vex says around the lump in her throat. “Yeah, I’m–– I’ll be there.”

“Do you want me to––”

“No.” She shakes her head, even though he can’t see her. “I’m, ah. I’ll get there. Drive, y’know.”

“Sure, yeah. Take as much time as you need. We’ll be here.”

“Right.”

The line goes quiet again. Vex sucks in a deep breath and tries to come up with something––anything––to fill the silence.

“Love you, Stubby,” Vax says quietly, voice all soft and careful, and she wishes it weren’t such a comfort. “Things’ll–– it’ll be okay.”

“Yeah. Love you too. I’ll see you next week.”

“Sure, yeah.”

Percy’s staring when she hangs up the phone. She smiles, and it doesn’t fit right across her face, too crooked and shallow.

“Bad news, then?”

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Knighted- Chapter 4

longest one so far, but not too long to enjoy. Bunch of stuff in this one! rather liked it. Let me know what you think! seeing people enjoy it makes it all the more fun to continue!

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anonymous asked:

Would you do a jimon first kiss fic for the prompt gentle peck and hot steamy kiss? I ❤️ u so much your writing makes my day better

that’s so nice thank you so much!!! i hope you like this and it was somewhat close to what you were imagining lmao

“You’re brooding.” Jace announces loudly, and Simon jumps from his spot in an alley, lurking in the little sliver of a shadow a building is providing and looking longingly at the sunlit street beyond like it’s the forbidden lands and not something he can actually stand in

“I’m not.” Simon says peevishly. “How do you do that?” Jace shrugs, half-smirks at that. 

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Distractions

This is for the wonderful @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​ ‘s SPN Movie Night Challenge. My movie was The Conjuring, and my pairing was Destiel.

Warnings: smut, anal sex, dry humping (is that a warning?)

Word Count: 2100ish

A/N: My use of the movie wasn’t my most creative idea ever, but I still love writing these too dorks having all the sweet sex. Feedback much appreciated!


“What are we watching?” Dean relaxes just asking the question. These movie nights with Cas are his favorite nights, when everything is quiet except for the small laptop on his bed, and the whole world outside of his bedroom doesn’t exist.

They were his favorite nights even before he and Cas became…whatever they are- they haven’t really talked about it or labeled it, but Cas does stay in Dean’s bedroom every night now, and they definitely do more than sleep. But now, now that Dean’s allowed to snuggle into Cas’ side, or fall asleep tangled up in him afterward, or distract himself with sex if the movie is boring, now these nights are the absolute best nights Dean has.

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“Our fans ship us.” (Grayson)

Requested by @its-me-actual-trash​: “an imagine where y/n is a youtuber as well and her and the boys collab and after it is uploaded all the fans are shipping her and one of the boys (either one) and they confess their feelings for each other”

————

I wrote one with sort of the same idea with Ethan a while back, so this one will be with Grayson. :)

————

“(Y/N), please come collab with us. We haven’t filmed with each other in such a long time, our fans are starting to miss you on our channel.” Grayson text you on afternoon.

“My viewers have been saying the same thing.” You said.

“So, what do you say?” Grayson asked.

“I have meetings all morning, but I should be done by noon. How about I come over afterwards, and we can film for both of our channels. Sound good?” You asked.

“Sounds perfect. I’ll let Ethan know the plans. See you later. :)” He replied. You put your phone back on the charger and finished getting ready for the day.

The entire morning, while in your meetings, you were distracted. You kept thinking about the twins and trying to come up with a video idea. You were excited to finally film with them again. Once your meetings were all over, you headed home and changed into a more casual outfit. Once you were dressed, you fixed your hair and your makeup and headed off to the twins’ place.

“(Y/N)! You’re here!” Ethan said to you when he opened the door.

“Hey.” You said with a smile as he pulled you in for a hug.

“Grayson is doing his hair.” Ethan said.

“We should probably get comfortable, that’ll probably take a while.” You laughed.

“I’ll be out in a minute.” Grayson called from the bathroom.

“Sure you will.” You said as you took a seat on the sofa. You and Ethan sat in the living room and exchanged small talk while you waited on Grayson. 

“Okay, I’m ready.” Grayson said as he walked into the living room. 

“Finally. We were starting to fall asleep waiting on you.” Ethan said. 

“Whatever. Let’s just get to filming.” Grayson laughed.

You ended up spending pretty much the rest of the day over with the twins, filming and having a good time. You filmed the video for their channel, and afterwards, you filmed the video for your channel. Once you finally finished filming, you took your memory card out of the camera and put it back in your purse and started to get ready to leave.

“Leaving so soon?” Grayson asked when he noticed you gathering your things.

“Why? Do you want me to stay?” You asked with a sly smile on your face.

“Well, we’re not doing anything for the rest of the night. so if you wanna hang out, or something, we wouldn’t mind.” Grayson said awkwardly.

“(Y/N), please say yes before he malfunctions.” Ethan joked as he finished putting away the cameras.

“Okay, yeah. I can hang out.” You said. You spent the rest of the night with them, listening to music, eating junk food and just having a good time. It had been such a long time since you’d hung out with the twins like this and you missed it.

* * *

It was finally Tuesday, which means it was the day that the twins upload. You had worked out an upload time so both of the videos would go up at the same time. You finished up your editing and uploaded it, scheduling your post for noon so it would be up on time.

Once the video was up and posted, you tweeted out the link with your weekly hashtag, followed and retweeted a some fans. You spent about an hour online, interacting with your fans, and after the spam had died down, you ended up falling asleep.

You were woken up a couple hours later from a knock on your door. You answered the door and saw Grayson standing on your porch.

“Gray, what are you doing here?” You asked with a yawn.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I wake you? I shouldn’t have come here unannounced. I’ll come back another time.” He said as he started to walk off.

“Grayson, wait. It’s fine. Come in.” You said.

“No, you should get back to sleep.” He said.

“If I sleep any longer, I wont sleep tonight, now come in.” You said sternly. He gave you a shy smile and walked in. “Can I get you anything?” You asked as he sat on the sofa.

“No, I’m fine. I actually just wanted to talk to you.” He said as you sat next to him.

“What’s up?” You asked.

“So, I’ve been reading the comments on our new video, and tweets from fans on my timeline, and our fans ship us.”

“What?” You asked, confused. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to you. 

“Here, just see for yourself.” He said. You scrolled through the screenshots he’d taken on his phone of tweets of screen grabs and gifs of you and Grayson.

“Wow, I ship Grayson and (Y/N) so hard.”
“I’ve been shipping them since they first collabed, I need them to date already.”
“LOOK AT THEM, THEYRE SO CUTE.”

“Wow, your fans are very vocal.” You said awkwardly.

“Yes, very.” Grayson laughed.

“So, is that the only reason you came over, or is there an underlying message to you showing me these?” You asked.

“Well, there is sort of an underlying message.” He admitted. “(Y/N), we’ve been friends for a good while, and every time we’ve hung out, it’s been an absolute blast. I really like you. More than I thought I ever would.” He explained.

“Oh really? I couldn’t tell by that awkward plea for me to hang out with you the other night.” You joked.

“(Y/N), I’m trying to be serious here. But this is so awkward for me. I’m not good when it comes to talking about feelings.” He said.

“Grayson, look. This doesn’t have to be an awkward conversation. I like you too. And I have for a while. I enjoy hanging out with you, you make happy, and you make me laugh harder than anyone I’ve ever spent time with. I’m honestly glad that everyone’s been saying this because I was worried that if we ever did dated, that all hell would break loose, but now that I’ve gotten sort of a seal of approval from your fans-” Just then, your words were interrupted by Grayson’s lips pressed against yours.

“You talk too much.” He said when he pulled away.

“Sorry.” You laughed, kissing him again. “So, does this make us official?” You asked.

“As official as ever.” 

2

(Requested by Anon)

“Come on little human, time for bed.” Your boyfriend teased. You rolled your eyes and went to the bathroom to change into your night clothes. “I’m not little, you just so happen to be the size of a small house.” You muttered.

“I heard that!”

You rolled your eyes again, a white fabric catching your attention. One of Emmett’s white shirts was hanging on the towel rack, still clean by the looks of it. An evil grin spread on your face.

When you came out of the bathroom, Emmett was already waiting for you on his bed. His eyes immediately landed on you, the irises darkening when they took in your appearance. You decided to skip your night clothes and instead put on his shirt and a pair of his boxers. If there was one thing that really got to Emmett, it was you in his clothes.

He sat up, hie eyes drinking you in. “What’s this for?” He purred lowly. You shrugged and sauntered over, climbing into bed with him. “Just wanted to feel closer to you baby.” It took all of your control not to laugh at his obvious excitement. “You look so good in my clothes.”

You nodded and leaned close, your lips dangerously close to his. “I like wearing them. They make me feel so…” You ghosted your lips over his, pulling away before he could seal the kiss. “-Sleepy. Night babe!”

You smirked and fell into bed, pulling the blanket over you. “But… I… Are you serious?” He sputtered. You nodded and closed your eyes, nuzzling into your pillow. “Night Em.” 

Didn’t Think I’d Get A Response Part 2 - Tom Holland AU

Prompt: Tom, Reader, Zendaya, Harrison, Jacob, and Laura have to leave Earth because of a deadly radiation. There’s only one ship left to board. But there’s a catch only 2 out of the 6 of you don’t have a suit.

Warnings: Fluff, Sad, Language, Implying Laura’s a bad person (Lots of love to Laura), mentions of cheating, mentions of dying.

Word Count: 2386

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

A/N: So the story continues! Here is part one if you haven’t already read it :)  part 1  I had a blast writing this! I have so many ideas, so glad it all worked out. New character!


“…Y/N?” You glanced at the walkie talkie on the counter, you immediately grabbed it pressing the talk button.

“Tom?”

“Yea, its me, you can turn the power on now, I’m on board.”

“Copy that” You pressed the button. Hoping that it worked.

“Good job Y/N” Tom said. It did.

“Thanks, may we meet again Tom”.

“May we meet again” You put down the walkie talkie.

Tears started pooling in your eyes. You observed the room you were in, it was quiet. The only noise was the sound of your beating heart and sniffles. It was empty and you were all alone. You didn’t want any of this! You changed your mind…you were getting the heck out of here. You frantically started trashing the whole room as fast as you could. Tearing everything apart. There was a couple boxes but you couldn’t find a suit.

Just when you were about to give up you saw a safe. The same safe that you and Tom tried opening, but the only problem was that you didn’t know the pass code. You picked it up and threw it across the room. It pried opened.

You ran to it and looked to see what was inside, and what do you know, there was a fucking suit. Who keeps a suit in a safe?!

You didn’t even hesitate to put in on. Making sure everything was securely on you glanced at the timer on the projector and saw that you had 2 minutes remaining. That’s usually how long it look for a rocket or ship to launch. You grabbed the walkie talkie and sprinted to the door, you took a deep breath and swung it open. 

The ship was still there thank god!

You ran as fast as you could. You really should of thought ahead of time because how the hell were you going to get in. Every door was closed off. You looked everywhere and noticed an emergency exit door on the left side of the ship. You bolted to the door and started banging on it with your fist. 

“LET ME IN!” You cried out

“PLEASE” You knocked harder.

Just as you said that the ships rocket blast went off.

“Oh no” You thought. The ship was launching into the sky. There was a small 6 inch wide floorboard you were standing on. You were probably 100 feet in the air. You were holding on for dear life.

“SOMEBODY LET ME IN” You started crying. 

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[Translation] Otsukiai no Katachi - Nishijima Yuuta

This series is an R18 drama CD (not meant for minors. There will be explicit terms used in this CD) by Apricot.
Translator:
Channa & sarapyon (only track 01)
Proofreader:
sarapyon (only track 01)
Admin Channa’s notes:
Hello! Here is my second translation as requested by a reader. Please reblog or link to my original posting here on tumblr  if you wish to share this translation!

Summary: You belong to the same club as your friend, Nishijima Yuuta. But one day, Yuuta calls you out somewhere, and confesses to you, saying “I want you to go out with me.” After this, you two begin dating.
CV:
Furukawa Makoto

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Accusations

Trigger Warnings For: Sexual assault, mentions of rape and sexual harassment.

———-

Small towns are terrible places. Gossip spreads like there’s no tomorrow and it’s impossible to stem the tide before everyone knows whatever was being whispered about; getting the facts out there can be even harder with everyone insisting what they knew absolutely had to be true. Small towns are also quiet, dull places with little to do, with communities reluctant to try or welcome anything new, forever set in their ways.

I’d always seen myself getting out of here the second I graduated high school. I’d go off to college and never look back. That was the plan anyway, but life tends to not go the way we envisioned it would. Sometimes that’s a good thing but most of the time it’s nothing but a road to disappointment.

For me – despite my general shockingly awful luck – it was a good thing. I didn’t leave because in my senior year I met the love of my life. I’d never been big on such nonsense, the notion of childhood sweethearts had been something laughable to me up to that point and I’d always mentally told myself ‘give them a month after school is done’ to all the couples in my year who insisted they’d be together forever.

That all changed when I met Tim.

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This started out as a whole post about how Mashima’s manga is extremely myopic and self-centered when it comes to presentations of family and friendship and nakama. I was going to pull out a bunch of examples, starting with Cobra and including Sting, Natsu vs. Sting and Rogue, and Juvia. But the Cobra part got way too long, so….enjoy this Cobra post detailing how Cobra exemplifies those values a lot better than Fairy Tail and no one seems to notice.

Ahem.

Now, I adored Cobra during the Nirvana arc. He was easily the most anti-villainous of the villains–sure, he was loyal to Brain, was trying to bring about the end of peace in Fiore, and was a smartass who liked to play around with his opponents and taunt them before he killed them. But he was also laid back, easygoing, could laugh at a joke in the middle of a fight, and didn’t tend to attack unless he was ordered. Alongside Angel, while he is a massive dick, it is also immediately apparent from introduction that Cobra is not a monster and has others that he values–Angel has Gemini, Cobra has Cubellios. 

But what really seals the deal for me, and makes me think that whatever his goals, Cobra is a decent dude–not just and lawful, but moral–is the end of his fight with Natsu. After he gets back up, ears sore from Natsu’s roar, he holds Natsu down and prepares to kill him, claiming it to be “for the honor of the Six Demons!” Cobra has pride in being a member of his guild and isn’t about to let this loudmouth dragonslayer tarnish it. And a second later, Brain shoots him in the back/shoulder, taking him out for good.  And Cobra’s reaction breaks my heart. 

Brain? ….Why? Are you mad?

He cannot understand why Brain just did that (and, taking logic into account, neither can I, but roll with me here for a sec). Not ‘angry’ mad. He literally thinks Brain must have gone insane to have done what he just did. He never for a second suspected Brain might attack him. Which is saying a lot for Brain, considering Cobra can hear thoughts.

See, his hearing wasn’t gone. He can still hear people’s minds, as evidenced a second later when Brain blatantly and gloatingly thinks about how useless Cobra is and how he should be gotten rid of. The only explanation is that Brain is capable of hiding his thoughts from Cobra–and did so for a long time, otherwise this wouldn’t exactly have come as a shock to Cobra.

Cobra’s last words before he releases his prayer (probably out of spite, if it were me) is to cry and call Brain a traitor. Clearly, this was the last thing he expected. A reminder: this arc was coming straight off the heels of the Fantasia arc, where Laxus went borderline nuts and pretty much turned on everyone around him. We just saw what is ostensibly one of the good guys do what Brain is doing now (putting down someone close to him for being weak) and Cobra’s reaction is just as emotional as the ones we saw at Fantasia. His ass just got betrayed and it hurt.

And, when he comes back for the Key of the Starry Skies arc, it’s apparent he’s undergone the rare negative character development. That is to say, he developed into a more dangerous, more emotional, and overall negative person–not that his character arc suffered.

His snake–friend, closest friend, pet, someone that’s never even thought about hurting him and is with him by choice, not by alliance–is gone. And while he retains a camaraderie with people like Angel, Midnight, and Racer, you can tell all of his enthusiasm is gone. His voice is so dead, so dry, so monotone.

Which….actually really saddens me. Cobra went from the person who was probably the most easily applicable to turn face to the one person short of Midnight who was furthest from it. That hurts. But it also shows how fucked up a person can get when you destroy their bond with you and take away the things that are important to them.

You fucked up a perfectly good character, Brain. Look at him. He’s got anxiety.

Of course, it’s he’s not too far gone. Kinana does come back to him, although I wish she hadn’t. He comes quietly, does his thing at the Dragon King Festival, and slyly makes sure Doranbolt will have to come back for more without messing with his memories.

And then it all comes crashing down. Cobra secures the Seis’ freedoms, gets his revenge on Brain, and then…Jellal.

Look, I will begrudgingly put aside for now the fact that Jellal cannot possibly be strong enough to take on the Seis single-handedly. Right now we’re focusing on character, and how exactly do you think Cobra felt when this went down? Jellal just took Cobra’s ideals and spat on them. Their freedom is a lie. Their idea of family is wrong. Jellal will show you true nakama and freedom–by beating your ass to a pulp. The freedom and companionship the Seis forged together while they were free from Jellal’s reign of terror has to be corrected.

Now, not only is Jellal their former slavemaster and the guy who terrorized their childhoods, but I will remind everyone of just what kind of “family” Crime Sorciere comprised of aside from him: a woman who coldly murdered a little girl’s parents, then raised that little girl as her mother in their place. Crime Sorciere’s family is sick. But at least Ultear gave an impression of actual repentence. I still wonder what Cobra thought of her–no doubt he could hear what was happening when he was temporarily freed for the Dragon King Festival. I also have to wonder what Cobra was thinking given that Meredy did nothing to support her former allies and instead just screamed “Jellaaaaal!” nonstop while he worked his pimp hand. No support at all.

And this pisses me off more than it would had I not already gone into just how Cobra felt about being part of the Oracion Seis. Because there is no more Oracion Seis anymore. No one calls them that–it’s Crime Sorciere now, and don’t you forget it. They have true nakama now, bitches.

anonymous asked:

Is Geno really fond of the way it feels when Sid presses up close to him to pull him through the water, his tail keeping them upright so Geno can breathe and kiss Sid?

When everything is settled and the Northern Kingdom accepts that Sidney isn’t going to come back for anything other than a friendly visit, Sidney takes Geno out swimming in the ocean. They to a cove that only Sidney knows, and Sidney can stretch out on the sand with his long, flowy tail dipping into the water. And God, does he make for a beautiful picture. Geno kind of understands why in those old stories, sailors would drown themselves trying to get a glimpse of a mermaid. 

“What are you thinking about?” Sidney asks. “I can hear you thinking from here.”

“Think about Pirates of Caribbean movie scene,” Geno says. “You know, when guy gets killed trying to get mermaid kiss. Think it’s stupid, but kind of get it now.”

“Come here,” Sidney says, making grabby hands. “I’ll kiss you.”

Geno goes, and Sidney gives him a gentle peck before he opens his mouth and lets Geno kiss him deeper. He nibbles at Geno’s lower lip before pulling away, both hands cradling Geno’s jaw. 

“Wanna go swimming?” Sidney murmurs. 

“Only if you not drown me and eat me,” Geno says. 

“I’m not gonna drown a fiance I actually want to marry,” Sidney says, then hooks his arms around Geno’s neck. “Pick me up. I’m too far from the water to get in.”

“Maybe if you…scoot. Or wiggle. Like seal.”

“No, Geno.”

Geno laughs as he carries Sidney down to the waves.

Heaven’s a Heartbreak Away II

Originally posted by clubeskimo

Word count: 1.3k

 Everybody was going crazy over the marriage of the nation’s favorite actress, not only that, she was also marrying the most famous, the hottest, and most demanded music producer, and rapper of the country. They successfully shocked everybody, not only have they revealed their relationship, they also announced their engagement and they become the country’s hottest, and most envied couple. Every magazine, TV and radio show wanted a photo shoot or interview with them. Hence, the past few weeks I have spent running from photo shoots to interviews, from interviews to photo shoots. From one TV station to a radio station and the other way around.

 The beginning was hell, I always had to be around them, I also had to take care of his outfit, too, to match it with hers. Their outfits had to be in complete harmony to symbolize they were meant for each other. They made me hate my job, I hated to wake up, I despised every fashion and lifestyle magazine, every TV show in which they appeared. I tried avoiding interaction with them as much as I could; I especially avoided him. Whenever I had to put accessories on him, smooth out his shirt, or arrange a clothing item on him, I tried to do it without having to touch him for too long, or too many times. 

 He tried to coax me up, he cracked his lame jokes in hopes of making me smile, but it rather made me wanna cry. When he realized I wouldn’t be all smiles and happy, he tried to talk to me, but I avoided him, always finding an excuse to go off. It went like this for more than two months, he looked for me, in response I hid. I never spent more time around them than it was necessary. I couldn’t stand that he persisted talking to me. We had nothing to talk about.

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There are prohibited kisses, true ones: Charm

Drabble #3 in the Kisses Drabble series, part of the OTP Day celebration. Prompt requested by @otterandterrier: There are prohibited kisses, true ones, based on this prompt/poem list.

Happy OTP Day! 


“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Hermione said, nervousness and excitement showing up as a fast heartbeat and a knot on her stomach. She wrung her hands together as he discarded his traveling cloak in a swift motion, careless as it fell to the ground into a heap.

“To be honest,” Ron laughed as he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him, “neither can I.”

She put her hands on the top of his arms, right on the curve of his shoulders, squeezing them to release more of the jittery energy quivering through her fingers. She rested the weight of her body against him, the contact comforting enough to entice a soft smile on her lips. She stretched up to reach for a quick kiss, the contact helping dissipate most of her reservations. Most.

“I should not be doing this,” she insisted, more out of a sense of righteousness now than true objection, to then kiss him again. “There are rules against it.”

“You know what they say about rules,” he argued, proceeding to kiss her jaw and the line of her neck. “Head Girls can break them.”

“That is not… Head Girls… Ron!” she complained, her eyes closing as the sensations awakened by his lips became too distracting to keep her argument straight. “McGonagall would expel me if she found out!”

He pulled back to sternly look at her face, his eyebrows creased and his lips set in a smirk. “She would not. She loves you,” he stated as if he were explaining to a five year old. “Hell, why do you think she told you which spells she used to close off the Room of Requirement? No way that was just a slip. She planned it so that you could research them and break them. She knows only you would be able to do that. She knows you wouldn’t tell anyone. She knows that you’d keep me in check and not let me sneak in the castle enough to actually affect your performance. Why do you think she didn’t seal the painting’s passage? Besides, she knows how busy I am, too.”

“Please. You’re making it sound like she wants us to sneak in these moments together. I assure you she does not!”

“She so does,” he laughed again, and she could see the glint in his eyes telling her he was not as much convinced of this as enjoying that he could wind her up.

“Absolutely not. This is prohibited, Ron!”

“And yet, here we are.”

“I still don’t know how you convinced me to do this.”

“Oh, but you forget,” he continued, resuming his light kisses. “You were the one doing all the planning. You were the one to suggest it, even.”

She chuckled then, exasperation and memories and love diffusing her resistance. “Cursed be your charm,” she joked, her fingers relaxing now and traveling up his neck to thread through his hair.

“You love it,” he whispered against her temple, his arms squeezing her closer to him. He bent to kiss the corner of her lips, to then look to her again. “You love me. You would not have suggested this if you didn’t.”

“I do love you,” she admitted, her eyes locked on his. “And that’s the truth of it.”

Exo's reaction to when their crush has a weird laugh

Request said: BTS/EXO reaction to their crush/friend cracking up at something they said and they realize she has a weird and loud laugh? (Sorry if this request is weird 😂)


Reactions: 

Xiumin: You guys were on a cute coffee date, out of the sudden you started to laugh but it was the one that you tried to hide for months from Minseok. You always hated how you sounded because it sounded so much like a little girl and finally coming to the surface made you kind of embarrassed. Minseok will look at you with a shocked expression but won’t tell you anything because he thought it was cute. 

Originally posted by sehuntiago

Suho:  You guys were just talking about how his day went. But when he told you one of the funny things that Baek did to the guys, it was so hilarious that you lost your ladylike and laughed your ass off like a retarded seal  He will be surprised at your sudden reaction. 

Originally posted by irpsychotic

Baekhyun: “JAGI!! LOOK AT ME!!” he would sound so excited as he entered the room.  “What the…” you burst-ed laughing  because he was dressed like a mad man and with sunglasses on and acting like a bitch. But instead of sounding like you normally did, you sounded as if you were chocking on yourself. He will be teasing you about it, from now on. 

Originally posted by ethereal-baek

Lay: You guys were watching a drama. But suddenly a very funny part came on and you lost it completely making your squeaky sounds as you tried to breath but failed because you keep laughing ,surprising Yixing.  

Originally posted by kai69-edme

Chen: As you guys were watching videos of the funniest pranks ever from you-tube, one of them was a really hilarious. Which made you laugh with your cynical laugh, scarring Jongdae a little bit but also laughing with you and also because of the video. 

Originally posted by overnightprincess

Chanyeol: As you guys were watching a romantic/comedy movie together, one of the funny parts came, you tried to hold your laughter in but soon your eyes started to water and soon after it you exploded. Your laughter sounding like a Chipmunk  making Chanyeol laugh at your reaction and thinking that your laugh is so cute. 

Originally posted by porkdo-bi

D.O: You guys were cooking together, and suddenly Kyungsoo tripped in front of you. You tried so bad to keep it in but his face was so priceless, that you couldn’t anymore. You laughed so hard sounding like the baby laugh on you-tube. But after you recovered, you helped him. He was kind of mad at you for laughing but still he thought it was kind of cute. 

Originally posted by luedeer

Kai: You guys were enjoying your fried chicken dinner, when out of the sudden, Kai decided to tell you a joke. Jokes usually don’t work on you but this joke was a really good one, and you laughed so hard you ended up scaring the crap out of him (but in a good way). “Jagi, I think I should say more of these jokes to you” he smiled. You nodded. 

Originally posted by jonginssoo

Sehun:  Sehun challenged you to watch a video and try not to laugh but he didn’t told you it was the hardest version. Once the video played, you started to struggle you tried and tried so hard not to laugh but in the middle of the video you couldn’t anymore. You laughed so hard and screamed and laughed and screamed, that he was so surprised that this was the actual way you laughed. He would tease you in front of the other members, but secretly he would love to see you laugh like that again , because that’s how he truly saw your beauty of happiness. 

Originally posted by xehun