What Do You Say to Taking Chances? || Faust x Kaity
Faust’s muscles were loose, his body felt like jelly, pooled into the crisp white sheets in the bed belonging to God knows who, if anybody. Faust ran a hand through his hair, all messy in curls that had broken free from their usual gel hold. He groaned softly, his voice low and a little rough, he was still coming down from his orgasm and everything felt good to him, the warmth of Kaity’s body near his, the soft sheets that wrapped themselves around his exposed skin, sticky with sweat. He smirked and kissed Kaity’s temple without thinking about it, overwhelmed with affection for just a moment to use the energy he had left to show it.
Faust had offered to take Kaity for dinner that evening, partially to take his mind off of his personal woes, partially to rid him of the deep rooted guilt he felt for having to lie to her about why Faith was angry with him.
He’d dressed himself in a dapper button up shirt and had left the collar open, deciding to neglect a tie on this rare occasion. He fixed the collar of this shirt as he sat himself down opposite Kaity with a warm smile though there was slight tension between them, at least he believed so.
Talan had been thinking about a lot lately and he wasn’t sure why. But he didn’t really want to focus on that, he’d rather just forget about it all and be happy. The place to do that was the beach. Now that he had Kaity to surf with, he could have fun with someone else, rather than just by himself. So he set to meet her in the parking lot and spend the afternoon surfing. But first, they needed to stop for food because Talan was hungry. He walked to his car and waited for, waving when she finally arrived.
Okay. Well, I don’t really know where to start. Um, I’m not just saying this cause I’m drunk or high or whatever either, If I were it’d probably be easier to admit this but I need a clear mind. I’m sorry. About how I reacted and acted after we broke up. All the guys, encouraging Charlie rubbing that photo in your face. I should have said something, I shouldn’t have posted what I did. And obviously you found out about Eli. I was kinda high when it happened, and I told him I just wanted to forget everything for a little while and well.. One thing led to another. But Faust, I just can’t stop thinking about you. All day yesterday people were asking if I wanted to hang out, or have a party and all I really wanted was to be with you. Your present, it’s the most beautiful and thoughtful thing anyone’s ever got me. And that’s what hurts the most, that I want to stop, stop liking you and stop thinking about you, I want to be mad but I can’t. No matter what I do, and who I’m with. This has never happened to me before and I’m scared.
Faith said I was selfish, vain and conceited. That I am blind to everyone else’s problems around me. I know I’m not.. Some people have it a lot worse than I do. But my birthday.. I hate my birthday.. My Dad doesn’t even call.. To him it was the day I killed her.. The day I took away the love of hiss life.. This year I was excited. Happy to spend the day with you. But I guess you know the rest. I’m sorry I bothered you. I just wanted to, had to say all this. I had to let it all out and when I went to talk to someone I realised the only person I can really talk to about anything is you. Right now I’m a mess and I can’t stop crying but I just wanted to say.. I miss you.
Kaity, I shouldn’t have scolded you for doing what you did, I was jealous and angry at myself for driving you away, I have nobody to blame but me. I wish I knew what to say Kaity…I care about you so, so much…I did a really terrible thing and I knew how bad it was but it wasn’t until after I did it that I realized how much you mean to me and how much hurting you hurts me.
You’re not selfish, nor blind, nor conceited. Your birthday sucks, it really does and your father, he’s absurd and it’s horrible for you and you can’t do anything about it but I wanted to…I really wanted to make your birthday special this year but I’m just as rotten as anybody else.
You didn’t bother me Kaity…you never bother me…I want you to talk to me, I want to be your friend, I want to help you and protect you, wipe away your tears and make you smile but I’m afraid of hurting you.