Why haven’t we started requesting a shower scene in acowar? This needs to happen, Maas!
Feyre is worn down and saddened by her faking in the spring court; it hadn’t been a good day. So she locks herself in her bathing room and turns the shower on, hot as it would go. Her eyes close and her thoughts drift as she lets the scalding water rain down on her skin. Somehow, Rhys finds a way to winnow right to her as she’s rinsing her hair. His clothes are on. Feyre stifles a scream when she feels his hands on her and opens her eyes to look into his violet eyes. “I am made of questions..” she whispers, but he simply places a finger on her lips, the water beating down on them, steam surrounding them. He steps back a bit and takes her in, assuring she’s uninjured, untouched. This is the first time she’s seen him in two months. It felt like a lifetime. Sadness flickers in his eyes as they drink in her naked body, still drenched as the shower steams on. Feyre catches that sadness and immediately crushes her body into his, hugging him, breathing him in. His arms wrap tightly around her, his black clothes becoming soaked along with his hair, his face. He kisses her head and then pulls back, looking into her eyes. A smile spreads on his beautiful face as he leans in, his lips grazing her ear, “Hello, high lady of the night court.” And that’s it. She’s ripping his shirt over his head and then working towards his zipper on his pants until they are both bare together, the falling water drowning out their quiet sounds. His lips find hers as their hands are frantic on each other. In the back of her mind she knows this can’t last long, knows it will only make things harder when she must go to sleep in a bed without him next to her. But this is now, and he is here, and she will not take it for granted. Not one second of it. Rhys lifts her up, and her legs wrap around his waist as they devour each other.
Before I left my small little town, on the outskirts of Chicago, I was a complete mess. My whole life was a mess. I was reliant on external factors to keep me “happy.” A lot of it, I don’t even remember. What I do remember is always feeling like I had to do what I was supposed to do. Get a good job, move into my own place, hide my true feelings, be who people wanted me to be. I was trapped.So I decided to change that.
I firmly believe you adapt to your environment. I was surrounded by a lot of people who were living the same lifestyle I was. I knew that if I stuck around, I was never truly going to be able to change the things I wanted to change. I knew that I would keep repeating the vicious cycle that was damaging my mind, my soul, and my body. I was never going to find my true happiness
To be fair, I still haven’t found it, but I sure am a damn lot close than I was a year ago. I dropped the booze, and the drugs, and the toxic people in my life. I moved to an area that better fit my needs, and what I believe to be a better lifestyle. Eugene, Oregon is in the top healthiest places to live! Don’t get me wrong though, I could have chose to live like I was living in Illinois. I could have found another group of drunk,drug addicts to hang around. That’s the beauty of life. You live and you learn. I have learned that I can no longer live the way I was living if I want to be happy.
I was miserable. I was (am) obese. I was depressed. I was always wasted. I was insecure. I cared so much about what other people thought about me. It was time for a change. I know that if I was to stay there, I would still be in the same place I was.
So now, what I have to say, is DO WHAT YOU WANT! If being lazy, working a dead end job, drinking all the time, making meaningless relationships, having conversations without depth, eating like shit, feeling like shit… if this is what you want, by all means, do it. But don’t complain about being unhappy if you aren’t going to change the things that are bringing you down.
This brings me to my next point. I have to follow my own advice. Even though I worked my ass off to move across the country, started eating a cruelty-free diet, lost 42 lbs (and counting), moved into my first ever own apartment, I still have a long way to go.
When I first moved to Eugene, the money I worked so hard to save up was dwindling quickly. I had to hop on any job opportunity that came to me. I got hired with Chase bank 9 days after I moved here and it took about 2.5 weeks for all of the pre-employment things to clear. I was stressed to the max during this time.
After I started working, things started going a little smoother. I moved into a house that was all vegan, had a huge garden, and was perfectly in my price range. I loved everything about it. Then life happens. I left my phone on the bus, my bike was stolen, my car broke down, I lost the house I loved… things were rough. On top of that, I was realizing how much I didn’t want to work for Chase bank. I don’t like the idea of working for the enemy, climbing a corporate ladder, and having to be someone I’m not during the majority of my day.
I have come up with a few new goals. The first one I’ve already set in motion, which is to start working in the cannabis industry. For now, that’s what I want to do to make an income. I have already taken the test, and I’m just waiting for them to process my application and test results and send my the card saying I’m allowed to work with the plant.
Next, I want to keep losing weight, focusing more on nutrition and really paying attention to what I’m eating. I’ve been using myfitnesspal and tracking everything I eat. I am trying to stick to 80-10-10 for my macros, and starting the 12th, I will be doing 30 days SOS free. So no added salt, oil, or sugar. We’ll see how that goes.
Also I’ve been using SHealth on my android Samsung Galaxy (I’m not sure if they offer SHealth on anything else) to track my steps and my exercise, heart rate, sleep, and all that good jazz. It’s similar to fitbit, but it’s all on my phone. I try ti hit a goal of 10,000 steps a day, which isn’t that difficult, but it also is something I have to put effort into. I average about 6000 a day without trying and just doing my regular activities. I eventually want to get it up to 20,000 steps a day with at least 20 minutes of running.
I am going to start doing yoga. I already got a new mat, strap, bricks, and a beginners video. All I have to do now is actually do it. I want to build my core muscles, gain flexibility, improve my posture, and work on my mind all at the same time. In good time, I’ll be joining a yoga class.
I also feel like I’ve been spending a lot of time indoors. Which sucks so much. So another goal is to start going outdoors more often. I want to go on more hikes, go to the beach, climb some mountains… All of these things are in reach for me, so I don’t really understand why I haven’t been doing them.
So there it is. I am doing what I want to do, which is what you should do too. Do what you want to do. Do things that are going to better your life, your health, your inner peace, your state of mind. Just do it! Don’t care about what others want you to do. Don’t worry about failing. You can always try again! Just don’t give up.
If you use the power of manifestation, and create a beautiful life that you want, and work towards your goals… anything is possible.It took me many, many years to learn this. and to actually follow my heart, no matter how cliche that is. You can do anything you put your mind to. That also means that if you put your mind to negativity (”I can’t do that” “that will never happen” ”I’m so unhappy” “I will never lose weight”) then your life isn’t going to have a positive outcome. Use the power of manifestation to draw positive things into your life, not negative. You can do this. It will happen. You can achieve true happiness. Just stop waiting around and DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO! <3
Here’s to all the women who are told they need to change to fit into society’s narrow minded view of femininity.
Here’s to all the women who love make-up, and to the ones who don’t: you teach us everyday that what you decide to put on your face is your choice, and your choice alone.
Here’s to all the women who face discrimination because of their skin color - you are beautiful. anyone who can’t see that is missing out on admiring someone as amazing and lovely as you; it is their loss, not yours.
Here’s to all the women whose weight and body type isn’t acceptable to the people around them: ladies, you are gorgeous, and you don’t need to change who you are for anyone.
Here’s to all the women who are too tall or too short - you are beautiful and perfect - your beauty cannot be quantified by an arbitrary tool of measurement.
Here’s to all the women who love to wear traditional clothes, and to the women who prefer jeans over dresses, or vice versa: thank you for proving time and time again that you, and all women, are not defined by their appearance.
Here’s to all the women who never want to stop studying, and to those who who want to stop - everyday, you put forward the idea that you alone are capable of making decisions for your life.
Here’s to all the women who never want to marry, or have children, you go through constant ridicule and face consistent ignorance, but you alone can decide what you wish to do with your body, and no one else has the right to decide for you or make you feel bad because of your decisions.
Here’s to all the women who want children, and a family, and want to run a household: you alone make your decisions. You are not oppressed, you are strong and amazing, and you deserve all the love and admiration in the world.
Here’s to all the women who have been hurt, or scared, who have been told that they don’t deserve respect - they are wrong. Your strength and bravery is an example and an ideal for all women.
Here’s to all the women, all kinds of women: you are strong, and brave, and you are extraordinary.