y e l l o w - it’s the color of happiness, and optimism, of enlightenment and creativity, sunshine and spring. lurking in the background is the dark side of yellow: cowardice, betrayal, egoism, and madness.
There is no such thing as being “not trans enough”.
To my gorgeous trans ladies: 💛You don’t have to wear makeup; it does not decide your gender. Your eyebrows and skin and eyes can be as cared for or as natural as you want. And your hair can be long or short, coloured or natural, it doesn’t matter.
💛You do not have to have a chest that isn’t flat. Some cis women have flat chests as it is, you are not defined by which curves you possess and which ones you don’t.
💛You do not have to have “girly” hobbies. You can do sports, play video games, watch football. It doesn’t matter if you don’t sew or play around with makeup. Only do whatever makes you happy, don’t do something just to fit more into the box of the female gender stereotypes.
💛You do not have to feel the need to go into a woman’s bathroom or anything else. If it doesn’t make you comfortable, don’t feel obliged to do so. You can stick with your familiarities and still be a woman.
💛You don’t have to be a straight woman. You can like whoever you want, and it doesn’t make you any less of a woman.
💛You are gorgeous and so brave. I love you all so much💛
To my handsome trans boys;
💛You don’t have to leave your skin plain. You can paint yourself with make up and play with it and make yourself pretty. Who doesn’t want to be pretty? And your hair can be any colour or length or style you want.
💛Your chest does not need to be flat. If you do not have access to a binder or a sports top or top surgery or anything to make your chest flatter- it doesn’t matter. Some cis men don’t have flat chests, and, besides, the shape of your body doesn’t define your gender.
💛You do not need to have “manly” hobbies. You don’t have to scream at the TV screen at football or anything, you can go ahead and enjoy your gossiping or your watching beauty videos. You can do whatever you want, and you don’t have to force yourself to fit into the box if you’re not comfortable doing those things and you enjoy other things.
💛You do not have to feel the need to go into the men’s restrooms. You can go wherever you feel comfortable, and if your comfort lies in familiarity, then you can go where you wish, and do what you want.
💛You do not have to be straight. You can have sexual attraction to men or whoever you want, it doesn’t make you less of a man.
💛You are so handsome, and so brave. I love you all so much💛
➽ Summary: One of them is your longtime crush, while the other is the man which you had shared your secrets with on many heated nights filled with lust and forbidden desire. You had sworn that it would end, and that secret crush would remain a secret.
➽ Warning: mentions of alcohol, public sex
➽ a/n: I started planning for this prequel after a late night chat with a friend not long after Bliss and Ardour were posted (yes that was a year ago), but I never had the inspiration to write the whole thing down. I have been re-writing this piece so many times, until I feel that it is finally enough to serve as the perfect filler for Bliss. And after a long deliberation, I have decided to split the prequel in two parts. I felt that the plot was dragged to long, and I’m pretty sure I would bore the readers if I keep it as it is lol. Anyway, enjoy!
update: I finally think it’ll be wise to post the whole series in three parts.
I'm kinda glad that you ship batlantern cause it's a ship that gets a lot of hate and that makes me nervous to write fics for it right now.
I get why you would feel like that. People on tumblr can be very intimidating and usually the most aggressive are the loudest. It’s even worse when people seem to agree with them. Anyway, let me tell you an ironic story: Besides Superbat, Halbarry was my first ship after getting into comics again (and it’s still my ‘main’ ship). Unfortunately that fandom is disappointing, as is every fandom on tumblr. That is, there are a few people that are very negative and loud when expressing their opinions. When I first got into Halbarry I read some fics on AO3 and one of them was really good! I liked it so much I anticipated drawing a scene of it. But when I checked their tumblr I saw not only quite some negativity in general (e.g. the new Flash run) but also – tadaa ! – an anon hating on Batlantern and the fic author heavily agreeing in a pretty rude manner. I never thought about Batlantern before that, but people trashing other ships – even if I dislike them – is an absolute no go for me. So I went into the tag, admittedly also out of spite. I saw fanart, read some fics and … I liked it. So kinda ironic how I got into it. Anyway you wanna know what’s really sad? That thing about the fic and finding out about the author? That has happened more than once. There’s nothing quite as disappointing as seeing that someone, whose art/fic you love, behaves like that. It resulted in me always checking a users’s tumblr first to see if they, in general, blog anything negative or trash other ships/people.
What I really wanna get to is this: I started blocking users. I started having a zero tolerance on people posting negative things/bashing in the tags, no matter the age, no matter the popularity. Will they gossip about me behind my back? Maybe, who knows. That’s not important. The important part is that my enjoyment on tumblr has increased significantly. I’m having fun in fandoms, though I’m still cautious about new contacts and still check blogs first before following or messaging someone.
If you enjoy Batlantern, don’t let people stop you! Be brave, be creative and don’t shy away from blocking people (The button is there for a reason. Do you really wanna keep seeing their negativity and sacrifice your joy? Btw you can also block anons. It will block their IP). Trust me, most of the users will not dare attack you directly. And if they do, don’t answer. Block them, report them. Don’t give them the gratification of attention, even if you wanna defend yourself. Sometimes it’s better for yourself to just ignore them.
And don’t forget: Happiness is the best revenge. Enjoy your ship and keep creating. Your psyche will thank you.
Aaaanyway I don’t wanna end this on such a serious note! I do enjoy Batlantern. So, dear anon I’ll post my so far only sketch I have of them just for you :>
Upon realizing she was failing Potions, and possibly wouldn’t be accepted into the Auror program, Nymphadora Tonks decided to do whatever she had to do sixth year to get her Potions NEWT.
Receiving the grade involved three things: her newfound ability to change her features to match a photograph, a picture of a young red-headed woman laughing, and Snape’s utter lack of remorse
The utter disgusting-ness of what she’s done makes her realize, six years into her Hogwarts career, that she really is a Hufflepuff after all - that she values hard work, patience, and honesty. That she should have valued them a little more before slipping behind a closed door with Snape, before letting him call her Lily, before learning things about the school’s worst teacher that she will never be able to unsee.
It’s after that unfortunate experience that she decides, NEWT or no NEWT…she’s going to earn her grade, and her spot as an Auror. Because she’s a Hufflepuff, goddammit. And Hufflepuffs don’t cheat for the grade.
1) I know you’ve had a hard time as a child and a teenager. I know that the memories weigh you down and the kids at school beat you with their words. But listen to me, that does not define who you no matter how much you think it does. It says more about them than it does about you. The memories will still haunt you but remember, you are none of the things that they labeled you, nor does what you saw as a child define you.
2) I know you feel everything. There are days when you’re so weighed down with sadness and grief that it suffocates you. That no one really understands and try to explain it away but you’re not crazy or dramatic. Just know that there is light at the end of that tunnel and that it will get better once you take that first step into helping yourself.
3) You will lose friends that you thought you would have forever and it will hurt. You will question yourself asking what you did wrong and the answer is nothing. They showed their true colors that you will see more and more as time passes on. Their selfishness that you tried to explain away. I know it hurts but you are better off without the negativity.
4) I know now that you constantly see all of your “flaws” that you feel you have to put on makeup everyday to cover those acne scars and make yourself feel and look pretty so people won’t judge you. That you won’t wear shorts because you’re afraid that a hint of cellulite will be visible. All of those things are trivial because everyone has “flaws” and it doesn’t make you any less beautiful. One day you won’t even care that you have no makeup on or that your “flaws” are visible. You will be content with who you are. And there will be a special guy who comes along and shows you that you are beautiful no matter what.
5) You can’t make someone love you no matter how hard you try. I know the pain will be unbearable and you will try everything to get him back. You’ll spend hours on your phone looking up ways to make him come back because you can’t stand being apart. But the truth is you can’t force someone to stay with you, you can’t control them no matter how crippling the pain is. You must give him a chance to breath and you must let him leave, no matter how much you don’t want to.
6) Love is not a fairytale. I know it takes you by surprise when things turn out differently than you thought. It’s okay to have arguments and disagreements, that’s life. Nothing is perfect. So try not to be too hard on him because you built a fantasy in your mind.
7) Don’t compare yourself to others. I know you feel behind when you see everyone getting married and having kids and their life figured out. The truth is there is no rush, take your time and enjoy where you’re at. Everything will come when it supposed to. When you finally see that you’ll realize that where you’re at isn’t so bad.
8) I know you’ve felt different. You’re quiet and a deep thinker. You’ve always felt so much older than everyone. Things affect you, especially from your past and that’s okay. It’s not bad to feel everything so deeply, it’s not a curse as you once thought. It’s better to be kind than to not care at all. You are rare and that’s not a bad thing. You are a kind caring person and don’t let anyone or anything make you feel any different. You’ve had a bumpy road but don’t let that derail you because you are a fighter, you are strong.
He was so welcoming, warmly including you in everything
He would text you all the time, venting his
frustrations about LOLOL—he trusted you out of all the RFA, after all
Soon, it turned into calls, where he happily chatted
away to you as he gamed
“Pffft hahaha, you’re so funny, MC!! You always make my
gaming nights better…” his enthusiastic response made your heart race. “I love
talking to you, MC.”
You took pride in that.
He became more and more special to you, and it warmed
your heart every time you talked to him. You wanted to learn more about him.
took interest in what you said, and listened attentively even to your
pointless, frustrated rants. He sincerely responded to your concerns, and often
brought up inside jokes in the chat room, forming a barrier between the two of
you and everyone else.
A special little world that nobody else could enter.
“I can’t wait to meet you,” he shyly told you. It was
finally the day before the RFA party. Your heart beat quickly, warm fuzziness
bubbling in your chest.
“Yoosung… I have something to tell you tomorrow,” you
decided, blushing as you told him. He was the one who made you feel happy…the
one who cracked jokes and made you laugh on your gloomiest days… the one who
listened to all your troubles. He hummed softly, murmuring, “Okay. There’s
something I’ve also been meaning to tell you, too. I’m worried if I’ll be
rejected but… I can’t hold back anymore.”
That night, you couldn’t sleep from pure anticipating
of the next day. You woke up early to make yourself look as pretty as possible
for Yoosung. First impressions were important, after all.
Upon arriving at the party hall, you immediately
recognized him—you were in love with him, after all. You called out to him
happily, and he rushed over with a big smile on his face, but it almost
immediately turned into a frown as he reached you.
“You’re Yoosung, right?! I’m MC!” you exclaimed,
“I see. You look… different than I thought you would,”
he murmured, a distant look in his eyes as he avoided your gaze. “I thought
you’d maybe have like, blonde hair and green eyes, or something.”
Your heart caught in your throat as soon as the words
left his mouth. Rika. He’d expected you to look like Rika.
Biting back tears, you forced a giggle, as if he’d just said something funny.
“So, what did you want to tell me?” he sighed, running
a hand through his hair. “I don’t really have time to talk, so can you make it
Yoosung seemed so annoyed and irritated by your mere
presence, guiltlessly expressing it in his words, tone and body language. It
was a complete turnaround from the sweet boy you had known for the last few
weeks. Correction: the sweet boy you thought
you had known.
“Nothing important,” you muttered, clenching your fists
as tears spilled from your eyes. “I was in love with you. I am in love with
you. And I guess I know now that you’ll never feel the same.”
He stared back expressionlessly at you. “Love? I’m
sorry, but it’s impossible for me to ever like you back. You’re really far off
from my type,” he laughed as if it was a joke.
You couldn’t figure out what the hell was so funny. He
was laughing at the way you had felt for him for months. He was laughing at the
feelings you had cherished. He was laughing at you.
And it only smashed what remained of your heart to
He was never in love with you.
From the moment you first met him, he’d been flirty and
welcoming to you. He was always protective of you in the chatrooms, and he
called you often to check up on you, asking things like:
“MC, have you eaten today? I hope you’re taking care of
yourself properly, I’ll get worried, you know…”
“Hey… Can you see the moon from where you are? When you
look at the moon at night, I want you to think of me… watching over you like
your very own guardian angel. If you ever need anything, you know that I’m here
“Do I need to beat up Jumin for you?! He was being way
too insensitive just now!”
Naturally, you felt gravitated to Zen. He made you feel
so… secure. He was always offering to help you, talking with you late at night,
comforting you when you were sad… He made you feel sodamn special. He sure
didn’t treat Jaehee like this, and you took quiet, guilty pride in that.
A week after you realized that you had fallen in love
with him—his caring personality, his deep thoughts, his laugh, his passion for
acting… his everything—he asked you out
on a date.
You almost screamed into your pillow from
excitement. Did he like you back?! Could Zen possibly return your feelings?
You waited for him in
the cafe, your eyes anxiously searching for his figure. You had taken 3 hours
to braid your own hair (with great difficulty), and chose the perfect outfit to
meet with him for the date. You waited 2 hours for him, sitting all alone. But
he never came.
You dialled his phone
number, wondering if he was stuck in traffic or late from rehearsals. He picked
up on the second tone, drunkenly answering, “Mmn… hello, who’s this?”
“Um, Zen? It’s me,
MC… did something happen? I’m still waiting…”
He howled in
laughter, sounding like he was really enjoying himself. “You’re still
waiting?! What the fuck, woman, what makes you think you’re anything special to
me? I was only betting with my friend that I could make you fall for me. I
can’t believe you fell for it so easily.”
He continued to
laugh, finding it absolutely hilarious that you believed his nice guy act. He
had purposely stood you up. Rather, he never intended to come in the first
His words were like a
slap to your face. It was obvious now.
Zen didn’t care about
you at all.
You stayed quiet, not
wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing that you were actually crying
You had wasted so
much time on him. All because you liked him, and because you thought he could
even possibly like you back.
“Helloooo? Are you
still there?” he hiccupped.
You couldn’t answer,
holding back your sobs.
“Oh right, anyway,
thanks for helping me win the bet. Haha, byeee!”
“Yeah. No problem. Anything
for you, Zen,” you weakly replied, sarcasm hidden in your undertone.
But it was true. You would have done anything for
him. He’d just never do the same for you.
From the start, you’d been attracted to his unique
sense of humour, awkward personality, and passion for cats. Not to mention, he
was pretty fucking rich.
Although you weren’t after him for the money, you had
to admit, it was part of what interested you at first. Emphasis on “at first.”
After spending evenings at fancy dinners with him, long
nights drinking in bars after work hours, and occasionally messaging each other
every day possible… you realized how much more there was to Jumin than you’d
Although he seemed carefree and pushed all the tasks to
Jaehee, he actually drowned himself in work for hours as well. When you spent
time together, he would always be jotting down notes and reading printed
documents as he conversed with you—he was probably used to it from discussing business
deals all the time.
Not to mention, he was very attached to his cat because
he didn’t have the time nor opportunity to interact with anyone that wasn’t trying to conduct business with
him. You could feel your own heart hurt for him, realizing how lonely he must
Not to mention the fact that there were many young men
(such as Zen,) who thought of Jumin as a rich snob, and was against the idea of
being friendly. You could only imagine how rejected Jumin must feel, despite
acting nonchalant every time.
Your heart and mind was consumed with thoughts of
Jumin, of how he felt, of how he was suffering… You yearned to know him better,
and you found yourself being more eager than ever in your conversations and
nights out together.
One night, you finally brought up the courage to bring
up the topic of himself. Excited to share your opinion, you said, “You know, I
completely understand that you must feel lonely and all, even though you never
mention it! It must suck that nobody understands you… You’re always working so
hard, and nobody ever acknowledges it, but I know that-“
He paused mid-sip from his wine, then slowly put the
glass down. “MC.” His voice was cold, stern and almost tired. “Why are you
You blushed. “Well… I mean… I guess I’ve fallen in love
with you,” you whispered, looking shyly into your lap. “I’ve learned so much
about you over all this time, and-“
He scoffs, eyes hardening into a glare. “MC… Do you
really believe that you know me?” he asks, shaking his head in disbelief. “Everything
that you just said… is it not simply your idea of me? You’re not in love with
me, MC. You’re in love with the ideal version of me that you’ve created in your
own head. Could you be any more delusional and hypocritical when you say that
no one understands me? You don’t know me either, MC. Don’t fool yourself
You return his glare with a pleading gaze. “That’s not
it, Jumin! I really do understand! I’m not assuming, but it’s just what I’ve
realized after spending so much time with you-“
Again, he cut you off. He seemed to be doing that a lot
“I only spent time with you to ensure that you would
remain subservient to the RFA. Our meetings were like business to me, MC.”
He stood up, turning to leave you alone at the table. A
lone $100 bill was all that sat with you.
This kid was absolutely hilarious! He took on such a
cheerful persona in the chatrooms, cracking jokes at random and spamming memes
everywhere. But he really did make you laugh.
On days when you felt gloomy, tired of every little
thing that was happening in your life, and overall upset, Seven managed to
cheer you up, sending you cute texts. They ranged from, “Your Defender of
Justice, SEVEN OH SEVEN, will protect your happiness!!” to pictures of his own
cosplay, where he attempted (attempted.)
to look seductive.
He quickly gained a special place in your heart. Not
everyone managed to cheer you up just like that.
One day after the RFA party, Seven invited everyone to
the zoo. During the trip, you kept trying to get closer to him, standing near
him as you pretended to be awed by the penguins… ‘accidentally’ bumping into
him… lying that you didn’t have money to buy a drink and asking to share…
(Although, FYI, that last one didn’t work. Why? Well, the
trust fund kid was there, duh.)
Seven drove you and Yoosung home, considering Zen took
his motorcycle, and Jaehee tagged along with Jumin to return to the office.
After Yoosung left, you were nervous to be alone with the man that you’d grown
Almost as if reading your mind, Seven broke the
silence, “MC. I’m not suggesting that this is possible, but if you think that
you have any sort of feelings for me, please forget it. I… will never fall in
You stared at him quietly, unsure what to say. You hadn’t
been TOO obvious in expressing your feelings… you’d really as subtle as subtle
Instead, you opted for, “I don’t get what you’re
He glanced at you from the side before turning his eyes
back to the road. “You can ignore what I’m saying if you haven’t had any weird
thoughts about us being anything more than friends. But otherwise, just be
aware that I’ll never fall in love with anyone okay? This isn’t some crappy
fairytale. It’s real life, and you’re not going to waltz into my life and
You nodded slowly, avoiding looking in his direction. “Uhm,
yeah…” you awkwardly responded, voice barely above a whisper.
What the hell were you supposed to say? You’d been rejected before you even had the chance
to confess. Haha. Ahaha.
The tears welled up in your eyes before you knew it.
But you couldn’t let him see. At the very least, you wouldn’t let him know how
his words had affected you. You wouldn’t let him know that you actually had
fallen in love with him, that his warning came too late.
You wouldn’t allow yourself to ruin the friendship
between you two. Seven was too important to you.
You dashed out of his car as soon as he pulled over on
your street, not even daring to say goodbye.
step one: allow yourself some semblance of a smile. your grief is not an iron cage and you are not trapped. you are allowed to mourn your own innocence, even if you barely remember how it felt.
step two: hold his hand. you want to, even if you won’t admit it outloud. you want to take him and keep him so close to your chest that the world never has another chance to lash out, but if it did you’d be stood like a shield, like a guardian angel even the devil would avoid. it’s okay. it’s okay. hold his hand.
step three: you don’t have to say the words for them to be true; at this point the “i love you"s are as natural as breathing, noiseless and soft. when you look at the stars you see the same light you find in his eyes everyday.
step four: give yourself a chance to heal. it might take a while. it might take years. your past is a minefield no one taught you to navigate before now, but you are strong and you are loved and that’s enough (it has to be enough).
step five: you gave him a key, a home, a reason to wake up with a smile and he gave you a reason to look forward to what was once a grey-scale future, now bathed in a shade of blue even the ocean would envy.