[Make You Feel My Love] was the first song that I was asked to pick what I wanted to sing. Initially, a lot of sad songs came to mind, and then instead of thinking about a sad song I thought, ‘Why don’t I think about a beautiful song, a song that makes me think of a beautiful time.’ That’s what I did, and I thought about this song, and I thought about that I still listen to it all the time. It made me so happy, and I love this song. I still listen to it despite what moment it was in Glee. It’s very special to me, and it brings up a lot of different emotions, but mostly positive, and mostly beautiful. That’s what I’m trying to hold on to when I sing it.
Music Series: Make You Feel My Love by Adele (Part Two of Stone Cold)
Okay, let me tell you what. Probably the most difficult one I’ve written yet. I’ve been working on this for the past couple of days, writing and re-writing text, and going through over a dozen songs until I found one with the same level of emotion as it’s story prequel, Stone Cold.
I was asked by an Anon recently to make a part two to Stone Cold from my music series. I hesitated for a while, it being very personal to the person whom I had originally been talking with, which had inspired the story. But after much thought, I decided to try, and this story was born.
So, here you go, sweet Anon, and thank you for the request!
When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love.
Harry lay in his hotel room, staring out the window. Three months. It had been a little over three months since you and he had broken up. He thought it was for the best, although now his reasons for thinking that made no sense to him.
‘The tour is so long…and you just started your new position at your company,’ Harry told you. ‘Do you remember how difficult it has been for us before when I’ve been away? I don’t want either of us miserable all the time because we’re apart.’
Your heart was broken, but you understood his logic. This was going to be a long tour. But in your mind, you couldn’t help but feel that your relationship with Harry didn’t mean enough to him to make it work. You loved him with all your heart and had for years. So the day he suggested you split up after being together for such a long time, you were lost. Maybe he didn’t want it anymore. Didn’t want you anymore. So you agreed. You didn’t want to make it more difficult on him, even if that meant making it worse for yourself.
‘I understand,’ you had agreed reluctantly, wiping away tears. ‘If that’s what you want, then okay.’
Harry was a bit shocked at your agreement. He thought you would have fought him on it, that you would have argued and the whole thing would have ended horribly. He had expected the worst. But wasn’t it the worst anyway? You were breaking up.
‘It’s not what I want,’ he states shakily, his own tears falling. ‘Never what I want. But…’
‘Whatever, don’t worry about it,’ you had said, wishing in that moment that he would either take it back or just leave, and when he didn’t, not wanting him to see you completely break down, you grabbed your keys and quickly walked to the door. Harry wanted to holler after you, but maybe he shouldn’t, he thought.
“H?” Harry heard Jeff call to him and Harry looked at him. “Hey, it’s time to go.”
Harry sat up on the side of the bed and continued looking out the window. He hadn’t wanted the two of you to be miserable. But that’s all he had been since breaking up with you.
When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.
He would just call long enough to hear your voice. He could make the number unavailable and you wouldn’t know it was him. Harry felt desperate to hear your voice. A day hadn’t gone by since the split that he didn’t miss you terribly, and seeing you a few days before in the little shop in London made it even worse. You were all he could think about.
He dialed your number and listened nervously as it rang. He knew it was the middle of the night there, but he was about to become busy in his work day again and just needed to hear your voice to keep going.
‘Hello?’ he heard you say, your voice not riddled with sleep, but rather with crying. He heard you sniff, and could hear the slight stuffiness in your nose. “Hello? Is anyone there?” Harry nearly broke and spoke to you, but he wasn’t sure if he should, considering. Your voice, even as sad as it sounded to him, was the only sound he wanted to hear. He missed it. He missed you.
When he heard the click of you disconnecting the call, he closed his eyes, pressed a tear from the corner of his eye with the pad of his finger, and sniffed, exhaling sharply.
“H,” Jeff walked in and said again. “Man, we’ve gotta go!”
“Alright,” Harry said. “Jeffrey?” His friend looked at him and Harry turned to face him. “After my obligations here today, I’m going home.”
“What?” Jeff asked, surprised. “Harry, you can’t! We fly to the next city tonight.”
“Reschedule it,” Harry insists. “Cancel it. I really don’t care. I’ll come back in a few days, but I need to go home. Arrange it, please, or I will.”
I know you haven’t made your mind up yet,
But I will never do you wrong.
I’ve known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong.
As he pulls up in front of your house, his heart beats quickly. He just wants to see you…talk with you. He needed to try to repair what he had done. What was he thinking by breaking up with you? He loved you. He loved you, so why would he think the answer was to break up? He wanted to show you he was determined to have you back, no matter what it took. He only hoped you still wanted it, too.
I’d go hungry; I’d go black and blue,
And I’d go crawling down the avenue.
No, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love.
He knocked on the door but you didn’t answer. He wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans, trying to peak slightly through the front glass, but the house seemed quiet. He turned around then sat on the front steps. He wasn’t leaving until he had seen you and spoken to you. He had to make sure you knew how he felt, then you could decide what would happen next.
As he sat nervously, wringing his fingers until they ached, he looked and saw you walking along the sidewalk, then stop as you saw him sitting on your steps. When your eyes meet his, you see the same look he had the day in the little shop. The same look from the last time you had spoken when you broke up. Sadness and desperation.
Now Harry was standing in your kitchen, as you hand him a cold bottle of water from the fridge. You lean your back against the fridge and face Harry, who is leaning his backside against your kitchen island. For the longest moment, neither of you say a word. You simply look at each other, having the same thoughts but nervous to speak. Could he see how nervous you were? How your hands were shaking? It had been a little over three months since the two of you had been in a room alone together. Three months since you had mutually decided it would be best to break up before Harry left. Three months since the last time you made love.
“How are you? How…have you been?” he asks, showing every sign of being just as nervous as you, and not taking his eyes off of you.
“I’m…okay,” you lie. “Keeping busy, I guess. You?”
Harry nods and starts to answer, but not sure he can answer it honestly. “I’m…okay.”
It was almost unnerving how intensely he was staring at you. In that moment you begged for the refrigerator to either swallow you or not fail to support your body.
“I miss you,” he says, his eyes not straying.
You’re surprised by those three words coming from his mouth. You thought there would be several minutes of awkward conversation, at least.
“I miss you, too,” you admit, nervously. You were already feeling very fragile. You knew it wouldn’t take much for you to become a puddle on the floor. You cried every day for the first month after your break up with Harry, and many days since. You missed him more than you could ever express with mere words.
“Have you?” he asks, nervously.
“Of course I have,” you say softly.
“May I ask you a question?” he asks, shyly. You nod to him. “Are you seeing anyone?” he asks, timidly. “I mean…I know it’s not my business, but…”
“No,” you answer. “No, I’m not seeing anyone.”
You notice Harry nod and let out his breath as he closes his eyes for a moment, then focuses his gaze back on you again. He had a look of relief on his face as you see his hands shaking.
“You?” you ask him.
“No,” he says. “No one.”
You look at him, a bit confused and not completely believing him. “The blonde? From the store.”
“No,” he insists. “We’re only friends.”
“I saw the video from the party in New York,” you sigh, looking directly at him. “She was with you here a few days before, then there.”
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
The winds of change are blowing wild and free,
You ain’t seen nothing like me yet.
He frowns, but doesn’t divert his eyes from you. “Only friends, love, I swear it.” You still aren’t sure you completely believe him, but you’ve never known Harry to lie to you in all the years you’ve known him. “Please don’t believe everything you see about me. You know that by now.”
You nod and look down at your hands, as he moves closer to you, and gently takes one of your hands in his.
“There’s been nobody since you,” he says, his voice shaking slightly. He strokes his thumb across your knuckles gently. His gaze cuts through you like a knife, his eyes never leaving you. “I’m afraid to take my eyes off you, afraid you’ll disappear or something,” he says, honestly. You look at him, confused again. “Ever since…ever since that day, that we broke up, I can’t get you out of my mind. I dream about you, and then wake up and you’re not there beside me. I’m afraid I’m going to wake up and not be standing here with you, holding your hand.”
You look at him, feeling the tears beginning to sting your eyes as your throat aches from holding back your feelings toward him. You sense the slight panic in both of you.
“This is what you wanted, Harry,” you remind him. “You didn’t want a long-distance relationship while you toured. You didn’t want me to be here alone, or you somewhere in the world alone, feeling miserable because we weren’t together.”
“I’ve been more miserable in the past three months than I’ve ever been in my life,” he states pointedly. “I hate this. I can’t do this anymore, babe,” he says, honestly. “I’ve tried. I know we agreed on it, but I…I can’t. I hate being away from you. I miss…going to sleep at night, or waking up in the morning, and seeing your beautiful face on the pillow next to mine.”
You gently wipe a tear with the hand he isn’t holding.
“When we broke up,” he starts, “I thought it was the right thing for us to do. I thought it would…fuck, I don’t know what I thought. But what I do know is…I miss you. I miss you cuddling up to me while we watch a movie together. I miss telling you jokes and you always laughing, even when we both know it isn’t funny.” You chuckle slightly. “I miss our talks, about…everything. I miss lying in bed next to you, holding you, burying my face in your neck as you sleep and smelling your rose-scented lotion on your skin. I miss just having you around me, love.”
“I miss all of that, too,” you insist. “But that doesn’t change that nothing has changed. It will still be a long distance relationship, which you didn’t want.”
Harry looks at you for a long moment, moving closely to you, placing his hands on either side of you, clutching your arms in his hands.
“Do you know what I miss the most?” he asks you, and you hear him swallow hard. As he starts to speak again, his voice trembling. “I miss…having my best friend around me. When I lost you, I lost my best friend.” You see a tear fall as your own slip down your face. You nod at him, unable to speak, wanting him to know you feel exactly the same. “I don’t want to do this alone anymore. It’s too hard, and too lonely. And it hurts too much.”
You sniff and look at him. “So, what are you saying?
He places his hands on either side of your face, caressing your skin. He leans to you, pressing his forehead gently against yours, then you feel his quivering lips on yours as he kisses you gently. You feel his chin, his jaw, his lips, shaking against yours as you feel a tear from his eye land on your cheek.
“Tell me it’s not too late to take it all back,” he whispers to you. “Tell me you still love me as much as I love you. I’ll do anything I have to, to make this work. Long-distance, or…or come with me. It’s up to you. We’ll make it work. I just can’t lose you.”
You feel his lips kiss you again. You aren’t sure who is trembling the most. The desperation you feel from him makes you cry lightly into his mouth, as he kisses you more firmly.
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “I’m so sorry. I thought it was what was best, but I know now, you are what is best for me. We’ll make this work. Whatever you say, whatever you want me to do. I’m yours, and I want you to be mine again.”
“I’ve never stopped being yours,” you cry. “Always been and will always be only yours.”
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.