make me taller

anonymous asked:

Akaashi, please tell Futakuchi to CHILL

futakuchi has been adequately chilled… just kidding, he unplugged the fridge to get in there. akaashi has learned to keep a closer eye on him from now on

I’m a graphic artist, and several of my clients are politicians. Here are some of the requests they’ve made.

Client: Make me thinner.

Client: Give me more hair.

Client: Remove the bags under my eyes.

Client: Use this photo of my face, but put me in the suit from this magazine—you know, like paper dolls.

Client: I love this old photo of me, but my ex-wife is in it. Take her out and put in my current wife.

Client: Here’s a photo of me debating my opponent. Make me look taller than him. Also, could you make it look like he’s sweating?

Client: It’s important everyone sees how family-oriented I am. Make my wife stand out more. Now make my kids stand out more. Now make me stand out more, because now you can’t tell I’m the focal point.

The best, though, is that this has been an exchange I’ve had with every politician client.

Client: Above all, this has to be unique!

Me: Understood.

Client: Great. Now use the American flag as a background, and make the text red and blue.

rebuilding genji’s body

mercy: alright these are all the organs we could salvage
genji: cool thanks
genji: dr. ziegler i need you to do me a favour
mercy: of course genji, what is it?
genji: ok can you go find my brother hanzo
genji: you dont have to bring him in or kill him or anything just find him
genji: find him and find out how tall he is
genji: keep it in mind when you make my legs
genji: because i need you to make me one inch taller than him
genji: exactly ONE inch taller
genji: just barely enough so you can TELL im taller than him
genji: no more no less
mercy:
genji:
 please
mercy:
mercy, who has been working for 10 hours straight:
mercy:
 [inhales deeply]
mercy: [exhales slowly]
mercy: [pinches bridge of nose]
mercy: …aight dude

kakairu + team 7 requested by the lovely alieng0d 
<3333

(NO REPOSTING/TAGGING AS KIN/EDITING)

So either this is going to end up as a small, single paged, comic ooor end up in a collage of doodles. Who knows. All we know is Soc Isa is babysitting greaser Roxas (who is 19 in the au) while Axel is somewhere.

Sorry if its blurry, the image itself is actually pretty small.

This Greaser!au was created by @firebandit-shitposts

Since Molly’s almost an entire foot shorter than Sherlock, I guarantee that if they were ever dating and got into a proper fight, Molly would not hesitate to stop, leave the room, come back with a chair and stand on it before continuing to shout at Sherlock with her hands on her hips.

3

Summary:

Misha and Jared mess around during filming so that Y/N and Jensen have to redo their kiss scene several times.

Words: ~1200

A/N: I decided to make this a mine series, so tell me what you think so far. (I don’t mean any harm to Daneel but for the sake of fanfiction Jensen is single in this imagine.)

×××

I literally had to run to keep up with these guys. Unlike them I was small and had short legs so that one of their steps equaled three of mine.

“Could you guys go any faster?”, I mumbled, being quite annoyed already as I tried to keep up with them. Jensen’s pace instantly decreased and now was right next to me.
“Maybe you should grow a bit more.”, he smirked down at me before giving me a wink.

My heart stopped beating the second he did that to me. And he didn’t even know what he did to me. And it was sure as hell that he would never know.
Being in love with Jensen Ackles was way harder than I had ever expected. It was not only the fact that he was one of my best friends and therefore this whole feelings crap was putting our friendship on paper thin ice. No, it was also because of Misha and Jared constantly sensing my interest in Jensen and them never stopping to tease me about it, which someday, I was pretty sure, would the reason why Jensen wouldn’t want to be friends with me anymore.

And in general, Jensen mentally killed me on a daily basis. His eyes, his smile and his fucking flirty comments made my life so much harder.

I shook my head as if I would shake away the thoughts and finally replied, “Ha ha. As if I could just decide to grow more.”

Misha chuckled after he and Jared lowered his speed, as well. “Well, Y/N, I have to say I do love the fact that you’re so small. It makes me look taller.”

“Misha, I’m not small! It’s not my fault that you’re all so freaking tall. Especially you, moose.”, I laughed and padded Jared’s back. Then I felt Jensen placing his arm around my shoulder, putting his weight on me. “I think your height is perfect. It’s really comfy like that.”, he claimed and I hit him playfully before he picked my up and threw me over his shoulder, causing us to laugh uncontrollablaly.

My hands were pressed against his back while I felt all the blood rushing to my face, and not only because I was upside down…

He set me down onto the ground when we reached the set, ready to film some new scenes.

I knew that there wasn’t much time left. There were only a couple of scenes left until our kiss. Jensen’s and my character were going to get together. “Finally” according to Jared and Misha but Jensen and I left this awkwardly uncommented. We both knew that it wouldn’t be easy and I mentally scolded myself for not talking about this scene with Jensen yet.

“Okay, guys, we had to do some changes in the program. We moved a few scenes and today we’re doing the scenes in the church and at the children’s home. Tomorrow we’re going to film the bunker scenes including the fight between Sam and Cas and of course the kiss.”, the director told us before we started working.

There was one half of me that was happy about the kiss scene being moved but on the other hand I just wanted to do it and forget it again and act like it never happened so Jensen didn’t get suspicious.
But maybe I could built up the courage to talk to him about it since it was quite a thing in our relationship, at least it was for me.

In the evening I spend my time in my trailer, thinking about visiting Jensen and… you know. Talk to him about this thing. It somehow didn’t seem like a big deal to him and it made me thinking to much.
Was I overreacting? Was I putting too much thoughts into this kiss?

I had been alone for not even half an hour until Jensen entered my trailer, slowly opening the door and closing it again.
A shy smile formed on his lips as he looked into my eyes briefly.

It wasn’t hard to find out what he wanted.

“So, um, I wanted to… you know, um…”, he began, trying to find the right words, “You wanna talk about it?”
He approached me hesitantly before he sat down next to me, leaving an unusually high amount of space between us. “Yeah, I guess.”, I shrugged, wanting to be casual, which somehow loosened the tension a bit.

“I don’t want it to be awkward.”, he chuckled while he leaned back against the wall of the trailer, the pile of pillows embracing him. “Yeah, me neither.”, I agreed and even though his calmness made my shyness fade away, I was still nervous as fuck.

“You sure you’re fine with it?”, he wanted to know, his hands crossing behind his neck. “Sure. Why wouldn’t I? It’s just a kiss.”, I replied, not really meaning what I was saying. I was fine with it but I was so nervous about it and thought about it all the time. And of course the fact that it could reveal my feelings towards Jensen made it a bit not fine.. “It’s not like we’re going to film a sex scene. That would be awful.”, I continued, laughing at the end of the sentence.

I watched Jensen’s facial expression drop and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What is it?”, I asked when he sat up again.

“You haven’t read the new script yet, have you?”
“No, I haven’t.”

“There’s this one scene… but I’ll talk to them. Maybe they can change it or maybe they can imply it or something…”, he mumbled while he shifted uncomfortably.
Somehow I needed a moment to understand what he was talking about and then it hit me. “Oh! No, Jensen, it’s fine. Really….”, I laughed nervously, “It’s just, um, because… I don’t think a lot about being naked on screen. With ‘awful’ I meant that it would be even weirder than the kiss. Between us, I mean…”

“So, you don’t want to have sex with me?”, he asked abruptly, a flirty smirk on his face, making my eyes widened in surprise. I was definitely not prepared with this kind of question.
“What?”
“I was just messing around with you.”, he chuckled and then stood up, strechting his limps. “Anyways, I need to go now. Still got some text to learn…”

I stood up too and followed him to the door where he gave me a tight, breathtaking hug before pressing a kiss on my forehead. A big smile appeared on my lips, unconsciously.

I watched him going away until he stood dead in his tracks, turning around and coming back to me again. “Do you want to have sex with me?”, he questioned with such a serious expression that made me laugh.

×××

To be continued…

Tags:
@freyamariannewa @i-am-nymph-ly @ikeneasul11

Size Doesn’t Matter**

Request


SMUT WARNING**

“Joe, you’re so small buddy” Josh says as he scrolled through the group pictures on his phone that were taken last night.

“Yeah mate there is only one good picture where we all look relatively the same height but Jack and Oli already gone and posted that one” Caspar said as he double tapped the picture he had just mentioned. 

“Hey you snooze you lose” Oli said from his position on the couch. 

The boys had gone out last night and, as usual, had taken a few group pictures. Apparently the angles weren’t correct and in each picture the boys all towered over Joe, making him look smaller than he actually was. 

You had your legs pulled into your chest as you sat on the couch next to your boyfriend who was also scrolling through the photos from last night. He had no readable expression on his face but you knew what he was feeling, you could read him like a book.

“Hows your new diet going by the way? Thought we’d see some results by now” Caspar said in his usual joking voice. 

“Mate it doesn’t make me grow taller” Joe looked over at Caspar, giving him a weird look.

“I know, I just thought you would look bigger. I mean you’ve gotten a lot stronger but it doesn’t really show” He defended himself while the other boys laughed at Joe’s rebuttal.

“Looks like you’ll always be the smallest bud” Josh said looking up from his phone and over to Joe. 

“Actually that would be Y/N. That’s why I’ve been keeping her around” Joe said sending a wink your way. 

“She could do better” Josh remarked, something that had also been tossed around as a joke ever since you and Joe started dating. 

“Oh cheers guys” You said rolling your eyes before getting up and heading into the kitchen. 

“Alright mate,” Oli said with a yawn as he stretched his arms over his head, “I have videos that need to be edited and uploaded for tonight so I’m going to head out.”

“Yeah we should go too” Caspar said standing up and walking towards the door, Josh and Oli following close behind. 

“Bye Y/N!” The boys all said as Joe followed them to the door. 

“Bye guys” 

“See you guys later” Joe said with a wave as he closed the door behind his friends and walked into the kitchen to find an unamused look at your face. “What?”

“I wish you wouldn’t let them do that”

“Do what?

“You know what Joe.” You said giving him a sad yet disappointed look.

“Y/N it’s fine. They’ve been doing that since the day we met them, its nothing now, just a good laugh.”

“Except its not, we both know that. Isn’t that why you started going to the gym more? You always tell people your trying to build muscle and the people who don’t know you like I do believe you. But I don’t because I know that theres more to your reasoning.” 

You stood there watching your boyfriend shift on his feet as he took in your words. You’ve been together for 3 years and have seen him get so mad at himself at something he couldn’t physically change to the point where he wouldn’t even talk to you. You saw how the boys would tease him about his size and his height, everyone laughing knowing it was all just good fun, but you were the only one who saw Joe after everyone had left. He’s dealt with this for a majority of his life and it still got to him. 

The first couple of weeks after he started working with his personal trainer were great but when the results didn’t come in quick enough, Joe got down on himself again making it harder for him to intake all the calories that he was suppose to, or he’d end up skipping the gym all together.

You made your way over to him when the silence lingered above you for way too long. 

“Joe,” You said taking his his hands in yours. “I wish you actually meant what you said, that it was all just a laugh. And listen, your not small or short. Your actually quite tall, for me anyway, and you defiantly have grown since the first time we’ve met. You were perfect for me then and your perfect for me now. Besides, not really sure who you’re trying to impress, is there something or someone I should know about Sugg?” You questioned as you raised an eyebrow at him. 

“No love, only you” he said pulling you in for a kiss before wrapping his arms tightly around you. “And you’re right, you’re always right but it does suck that it does still get to me but I can’t really help it. Maybe I should just find me some new friends, ones who are smaller and shorter than me” 

You laughed into his shoulder. “You want to hang out with primary schoolers?”

“Hey! That wasn’t nice” 

“Sorry, I had too” you said kissing his lips again. 

Joe went to pull away but you leaned in closer, following his lips. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you once again while his hands moved down to your waist and your tongues danced around each others mouths.

“Why don’t you let me take care of you Joe, I’ll make you feel better” You pulled away and whispered in his ear. Joe’s lips tugged themselves into a small smirk before leading you up to the bedroom.

You two were tugging at each other’s shirts as soon you at stepped foot into the room. With your lips reconnected, you blindly fumbled with the button on his jeans. Once you had successfully undid the button, you pushed him back onto the bed and pulled his jeans and boxers down his legs. 

“The boys may think you’re small, but your not” you said with a small smirk.

You waisted no time and quickly took his length in his hand, pumping it a few times as you watched Joe start to wither away at your touch. Slowly, you moved your mouth to his cock, licking a strip up the side before placing your lips over the tip, giving it a kiss. 

“Y/N” Joe breathed out as he looked down at you. 

You looked at him through your eyelashes as your lips made their way further down his cock. You sucked as you bobbed your head up and down, your hand working at the base of his cock. 

Joe let his head fall back into the pillows as a low moan escaped his lips. You picked up the pace at which you were bobbing your head, occasionally stopping to swirl your tongue around the tip before returning back to your previous actions.

Joe reached a hand down to cup your chin, guiding your face up to his so he could smash his lips into yours once again. You pulled away after a while and quickly removed your own jean and panties before straddling Joe’s waist and reconnecting your lips. 

Joe reached around your back and unclasped your bra, his massaging them in his hand before your bra even hit the grounds. With your lips still connected, Joe flipped the two of your over so your were now laying on your back.

“So much for letting me take care of you” You furrowed your eyebrows at Joe who only smirked in response. 

“One day, I promise” Joe said before guiding himself into you, causing you to moan out slightly, your hand gripping the bed sheets.

Joe gave you a few moments to adjust before he started thrusting in and out of you as he gradually picked up the pace. 

“Oh god” You moaned out, your grip on the sheets tightening. 

Joe moved a hand down to your clit as he continued to thrust deeper into you. 

“Fuck” he growled lowly as he felt your walls clench around him, making it harder for him to thrust into you. 

“I’m close Joe” you moaned out as you hands moved to grip onto his shoulders. 

“Just a little longer love” Joe said thrusting into you quicker as he too was getting close to his release. 

“Joe!” You yelled out feeling your orgasm creep closer and closer until you couldn’t hold it back any longer, your juices spilling over Joe’s cock as he continued to thrust into you, milking out your high, until he came himself. 

Joe pulled out of you and laid on the bed beside you, both your chests heaving up and down. 

“Feel better?” You said rolling onto you side, watching the small smile form across his lips as he thought back to the conversation the two of you had before hand.

“Yeah, thanks. I’m sorry I let their comments get to me, I know they don’t mean it and thats the worse part”

“I’ll tell them to quit, they seem to listen to me the most” you said, the two of you laughing. 

“Thanks love” Joe said rolling over on his side and giving you a quick kiss.

Soulhates

It was at another one of Gregory Patterson’s parties, that’s when I met her.

She the most disgustingly beautiful person in the room. With emphasis on the disgusting. The way she was looking at everybody like she was better than them. And she wasn’t even touching the cake Gregory made himself from scratch, despite being handed a slice by Gregory himself.

I kept my eye on her from the other side of the room. I wanted to catch her in the act of whatever she was gonna do next. But she didn’t even try hide it. Right in front of Gregory’s face, she grabbed the cake, smooshed it to crumbs and let it fall into the trash can next to her. She didn’t even bother to aim right, and some of the crumbs fell onto the floor.

I gasped, and Gregory had signs of distress on his face. He just moved back. The poor boy, his heart was broken by this witch. I was going to talk to her.

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