make me a sandwich!

Drabble Challenge!

Repost this. Followers/Readers send numbers to your Ask. You write a fic/drabble using that line in your piece. Have fun! Expect a ton of requests!! 

  1. “That’s starting to get annoying”
  2. “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”
  3. “You can’t just sit there all day.”
  4. “I’m too sober for this.”
  5. “I’m not here to make friends.”
  6. “I need a place to stay.”
  7. “Well, that’s tragic.”
  8. “You’re seriously like a man-child.”
  9. “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”
  10. “The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”
  11. “Dear Diary, …”
  12. “She’s hiding behind the sofa.”
  13. “I lost our baby.”
  14. “They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”
  15. “I’d kill for a coffee…literally.”
  16. “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”
  17. “Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion.”
  18. “What’s the matter, sweetie?”
  19. “You’re Satan.”
  20. “I don’t want to hear your excuse. You can’t just give me wet-willies.”
  21. “I’m bulletproof…but please, don’t shoot me.”
  22. “Did you just hiss at me?”
  23. “Do you really need all that candy?”
  24. “It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”
  25. “I swear, I’m not crazy!!!”
  26. “The diamond in your engagement ring is fake.”
  27. “No. Regrets.”
  28. “How drunk was I?”
  29. “How is my wife more badass than me?”
  30. “Be you. No one else can.”
  31. “I haven’t slept in ages.”
  32. “I locked the keys in the car.”
  33. “Are you sure that’s the decision you want to make?”
  34. “You work for me. You are my slave.”
  35. “Take your medicine.”
  36. “They’re monsters.”
  37. “Welcome to fatherhood.”
  38. “Why can’t you appreciate my sense of humor?”
  39. “It’s your turn to make dinner.”
  40. “The kids, they ambushed me.”
  41. “Sorry isn’t going to help when I kick your ass!!!”
  42. “Stop being so cute.”
  43. “I feel like I can’t breathe.”
  44. “You need to see a doctor.”
  45. “You’re getting a vasectomy. That’s final.”
  46. “I was a joke, baby. I swear.”
  47. “Dogs don’t wear clothes!”
  48. “I didn’t think you could get any less romantic…”
  49. “Safety first. What are you? FIVE?”
  50. “This is girl talk, so leave.”
  51. “Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?”
  52. “There’s a herd of them!”
  53. “Do you think I’m scared of a woman?”
  54. “They’re not your kids, back the f*ck off.”
  55. “You’re a nerd.”
  56. “I’m late.”
  57. “Just get home as soon as possible, okay?!”
  58. “You smell like a wet dog.”
  59. “I could punch you right now.”
  60. “Are you going to talk to me?”
  61. “Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”
  62. “If you can’t sleep…we could have sex?”
  63. “Flea markets don’t carry fleas, you know?”
  64. “Here, take my blanket.”
  65. “I don’t want you to stop.”
  66. “How could I ever forget about you?”
  67. “You’re bleeding all over my carpet.”
  68. “Run for it!”
  69. “We need to talk.”
  70. “Not everyone is out to get you. Stop thinking that. It’s annoying.”
  71. “I want a pet.”
  72. “Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.”
  73. “I’m not wearing a dress.”
  74. “I’m not wearing a tie.”
  75. “Quit beating me up!”
  76. “Please put your penis away.”
  77. “It’s a Texas thing.”
  78. “Don’t argue. Just do it.”
  79. “I hope I’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”
  80. “Does he know about the baby?”
  81. “Hold still.”
  82. “I just ironed these pants!”
  83. “Enough with the sass!”
  84. “Show me what’s behind your back.”
  85. “I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.”
  86. “Fine, don’t say anything and make me worry.”
  87. “Stay awake.”
  88. “STOP INTERRUPTING ME!”
  89. “You’re not interested, are you?”
  90. “I’m not buying ikea furniture again.”
  91. “Tell me you need me.”
  92. “Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you.”
  93. “I’m telling you. I’m haunted.”
  94. “I had a bad dream again.”
  95. “Have I mentioned, I fucking hate Halloween.”
  96. “It’s Christmas, don’t be mad at me.”
  97. “You’re not going to starve yourself on Thanksgiving.”
  98. “The store ran out of Easter eggs.”
  99. “How could you forget your son’s birthday?”
  100. “You can only suffer through my whining for so long until you get up and make me a sandwich.”

Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!!

  • Draco: Dobby, please make me a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato.
  • Dobby: Yes, Master Malfoy.
  • Harry: I like grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato.
  • Draco: Make that two, please.
  • Dobby: Yes, Master Malfoy.
  • Ron: I like grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato, too.
  • Draco: Tough shit.

Ray Toro comes into my house and makes me a sandwich then kisses my head and tells me I’m doing a good job as I sob into his arms

Frank Iero comes into my house and spits into all my cups and calls me a bitch before roundhouse kicking my lamp off the table and leaving

consider: tater meeting bitty for the first time. bitty goes for the handshake. tater not only goes for the hug, he literally squeezes bitty and picks him up off the floor with a “so THIS is little baker who make such good sandwiches??? good!!! you bring extra for me, no???” he doesn’t put bitty down for a full ten seconds. he loves him. they text each other all the time. whenever jack chirps bitty in the future bitty goes “tater wouldn’t treat me like this”

The Greasers as thing my brothers have said

Two-Bit: I got suspended for drinking with my friends. All my friends got put in this rehab program except for me. Why? Because I am a quote, unquote “Hopeless Case”

Dally: I’d like to start by saying Gaston did nothing wrong. He left Belle’s dad outside to get eaten by wolves! Yeah, because Belle’s dad was a little bitch!

Sodapop: I may be the middle child but I am also the most charismatic, handsome, and popular soooooo you all can suck it.

Steve: When I was your age I got suspended. Why? Becuase I wrote a fake newspaper for the school and one of the articles’ claimed that Josh’s mom was a hermaphrodite. 

Ponyboy: Uh, can I go to the nurse? I got this pencil stuck in my hand there is a whole lot of blood coming out.

Darry: Hey! The oldest gets shotgun! The youngest gets depression and daddy issues but that’s okay you’ll love it.

Johhny: Something must’ve stunt my growth when I was younger. I bet when adults see me at my job they think, Who let this 6-year-old be in charge of making me a sandwich?

  • Yoongi: Now, lets say you havent eaten for days and You're in desperate need for a sandwich. What do you do?
  • Taehyung: I walk over to the house and have Jin make me a sandwich.
  • Yoongi: Okay, yes, but Jin's not here.
  • Jungkook: Wheres Jin?
  • Yoongi: It's not important where he is, umm, he's gone, he left the country.
  • Jimin: He left the country? Why, is he ok?
  • Yoongi: Yes, he's fine.
  • Taehyung: Well if he's fine, I don't see why he can't make me a sandwich.

I don’t even know. I was taking a walk today and this idea popped into my head. I swear I’m still writing the bookstore AU, too. Also, *pops confetti*, I hit 2k followers today! Who ARE all you guys? Anyway, this fluff/ridiculousness is for you. ~1.6k words, rated G. Sterek, of course.

now also on AO3

The whole thing starts with Stiles really, really craving a meatball sub from the place across the street.

“God, someone shut him up,” Erica groans. They’re all kind of at their breaking point by now; they’ve been camped out in this meeting room all day, brainstorming. “He’s been talking about the same goddamn sandwich for seven and a half minutes now, and it’s making me hungry.”

“If only our ad campaign were about sandwiches, Stilinski would have it in the bag and we could all go home,” Isaac sighs.

From across the table, Derek rises abruptly to his feet and storms out. (Or maybe it’s just that Stiles always interprets everything Derek does as stormy. With those eyebrows, it’s hard not to.)

Stiles assumes he’s just gotten so fed up with them all that it’s either storm out or kill someone, and he’s just grateful Derek chose Door Number 1. It’s a good day not to get killed by Derek Hale.

Only, fifteen minutes later he comes back in. With a paper bag from the deli.

As soon as he gets within grabbing distance, Stiles practically collapses across the table in his haste to reach for it. “Oh my god, is that what I think it is?”

Derek holds it up over his head. “Who says this is for you? Maybe all your talk inspired me to go get a meatball sub of my own.”

“Oh, please. Like anyone with your abs eats meatball subs.” Stiles leaps to his feet on his swivel chair—because screw safety, Derek will catch him if he starts to topple over—and snatches the bag out of Derek’s grip. Derek doesn’t fight him for it very hard.

“Why don’t I get a meatball sub?” Erica whines, thumping her head down on her notebook. “Doesn’t anyone love me?”

Derek shrugs and takes his seat again. “You didn’t ask.”

“You just like Stilinski better,” she grumbles, and Derek just shrugs again.

Meanwhile, Stiles rips into the bag and takes a huge bite out of the gloriousness that is this sandwich. He can’t help throwing in a few theatrical moans just to taunt Erica, and she suitably rewards him with a glare of death across the table.

“Mmm,” Stiles says. “Derek, I love you so much, dude. Marry me.”

Instead of the grumpy eyebrows he expects, Derek meets his eye, leans back smugly in his chair, and says, “Okay.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

hey! so i'm fairly new too bootlegs and i don't have anything to trade with. how do i start if i have nothing? i don't want to trick someone into giving me something, i want to do it fair and square.

a lot of people are really nice and will try to give you a bootleg you want even if you don’t have anything in return and then you’ll have something to trade in the future!! if you message me off anon im sure we can work something out because i think that everyone should be able to see the shows they really want to 

heres a lil nina who knows that sharing is caring :)

what if for real Hunk is playing leader and shouts at Keith “go make me a sandwich!” and nobody expects Killjoy Keith to go along with it but he’s in a good mood so to everyones surprise Keith is like “…okay” and heads off to the space kitchen.

and in like an hour later Keith comes back with something that does not even remotely resemble a sandwich and Hunk is like “Keith what is this” and Keith says “yeah actually I don’t know how to make a sandwich the fanciest thing I ate when I was living on my own was ravioli in a can.“

and Hunk just stands there for a moment staring at him and then slowly and gently places his arms around him and softly strokes his hair and "Lance, is Hunk crying?”

“You’re a terrible father” - Tony Stark x Daughter!reader

Love the idea. And really, I kinda take any requests :D. Thank you for this one, it’s right here, hope you like it :

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

_____________________________________________________________________

It was the twentieth fucking time you tried to call your father, Anthony Stark, and you fell, once again, on his stupid voice saying that he was “too busy to answer” and that he’d “call back” but “probably not”. Damn that man. 

In your entire life on this Earth, you were pretty sure he never picked you up on time somewhere. Never, ever. He was just always late, so much that you came up with a trick of actually telling the wrong times for him to be on time. If something was at 6pm, you’d tell him it was at 4. But even with that trick, he still often managed to be fucking late. Which is why most of the time, your stepmother came to get you. But Pepper, wasn’t available today. 

You smiled, thinking about your “stepmother”. You were so glad she was in your life, being pretty sure that if your dad never had the help, he probably would have lost custody of you before you reach the age of 1…You considered Pepper your real mother. You never met your biological mom as she just dumped you in front of your dad’s house, with a note. One paternity test later, and it was confirmed you were his…You were the first step to his transformation, the first to help him become the man he was today. Better. 

So you grew up with Pepper around. She filled in brilliantly the mother role, even before she actually started dating your father (you remember the day you finally convinced him to just tell her his feelings, and smiled).

Keep reading

THE SIGNS WHEN A SERIAL KILLER IS IN THE HOUSE
  • ARIES: literally doesn't care and just sits on the couch chillin
  • TAURUS: runs to the kitchen and fiercely guards the fridge
  • GEMINI: makes jokes with the killer, then the killer realises gemini is cool and they go out to maccas
  • CANCER: tries to hide but starts crying and gets found
  • LEO: pretends not to be scared but kinda is, still strategically makes it out of the house tho
  • VIRGO: loses their ish but defends themself well
  • LIBRA: attempts to put up a fight but falls down the stairs or trips up over a cat and ends up getting caught
  • SCORPIO: kills the killer
  • SAGITTARIUS: makes small talk with the killer and then ends up becoming the killers accomplice
  • CAPRICORN: is the killer
  • AQUARIUS: screams *make me a sandwich asshole* at the killer
  • PISCES: just stands there frozen, legit just doesnt move

I say “I am a feminist”
and you laugh
because “Women have rights already”

And while you laugh at this movement
you are laughing at the 15 million girls who will become child brides this year alone
you are laughing at the millions of young girls sold into sex slavery
and at the 70% of women in India who are victims of domestic violence
and at the one in five rape victims in the United States
and at all of the people in the world who are discriminated against
because of something as simple as their gender

and in turn, I laugh at you
for your lack of an understanding
towards a movement that affects you 
and everyone that you know and love

But I do not laugh at your rape jokes 
I do not laugh when you tell me to “Shut up and make you a sandwich”
I do not laugh at your utter negligence to an issue as important as this

Because basic human rights are not funny
The very real experiences of those victimized
solely due to their sex
is not laughable
The suffering of my entire gender
is not a fucking joke that you are allowed to make.

—  so stop treating it like it is. 
Prompt List

Okay so this is not my drabble list but i found it on tumblr so all credit goes out to the person who made this. send me in any numbers and who you would like it to be about (example peter parker, castiel, bucky barnes, etc…)

leave the number and person/character in my ask and I’d be happy to write it!!

1. “That’s starting to get annoying”
2. “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”
3. ‘You can’t just sit there all day.”
4. “I’m too sober for this.”
5. “I’m not here to make friends.”
6. “I need a place to stay.”
7. “Well, that’s tragic.”
8. “You’re seriously like a man-child.”
9. “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”
10. “The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”
11. Dear Diary, …”
12. She’s hiding behind the sofa.”
13. “I lost our baby.”
14. “They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”
15. “I’d kill for a coffee…literally.”
16. “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”
17. “Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion.”
“18. What’s the matter, sweetie?”
19. “You’re Satan.”
20. “I don’t want to hear your excuse. You can’t just give me wet-willies.”
21. “I’m bulletproof…but please, don’t shoot me.”
22. “Did you just hiss at me?”
23. “Do you really need all that candy?”
24. “It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”
25. “I swear, I’m not crazy!!!”
26. “The diamond in your engagement ring is fake.”
27. “No. Regrets.”
28. “How drunk was I?”
29. “How is my wife more badass than me?”
30. “Be you. No one else can.”
31. “I haven’t slept in ages.”
32. “I locked the keys in the car.”
33. “Are you sure that’s the decision you want to make?”
34. “You work for me. You are my slave.”
35. “Take your medicine.”
36. “They’re monsters.”
37. “Welcome to fatherhood.”
38. “Why can’t you appreciate my sense of humor?”
39. “It’s your turn to make dinner.”
40. “The kids, they ambushed me.”
41. “Sorry isn’t going to help when I kick your ass!!!”
42. “Stop being so cute.”
43. “I feel like I can’t breathe.”
44. “You need to see a doctor.”
45. “You’re getting a vasectomy. That’s final.”
46. “I was a joke, baby. I swear.”
47. “Dogs don’t wear clothes!”
48. “I didn’t think you could get any less romantic…”
49. “Safety first. What are you? FIVE?”
50. “This is girl talk, so leave.”
51. “Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?”
52. “There’s a herd of them!”
53. “Do you think I’m scared of a woman?”
54. “They’re not your kids, back the f*ck off.”
55. “You’re a nerd.”
56. “I’m late.”
57. “Just get home as soon as possible, okay?!”
58. “You smell like a wet dog.”
59. “I could punch you right now.”
60. “Are you going to talk to me?”
61. “Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”
62. “If you can’t sleep…we could have sex?”
63. “Flea markets don’t carry fleas, you know?”
64. “Here, take my blanket.”
65. “I don’t want you to stop.”
66. “How could I ever forget about you?”
67. “You’re bleeding all over my carpet.”
68. “Run for it!”
69. “We need to talk.”
70. “Not everyone is out to get you. Stop thinking that. It’s annoying.”
71. “I want a pet.”
72. “Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.”
73. “I’m not wearing a dress.”
74. “I’m not wearing a tie.”
75. “Quit beating me up!”
76. “Please put your penis away.”
77. “It’s a Texas thing.”
78. “Don’t argue. Just do it.”
79. “I hope I’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”
80. “Does he know about the baby?”
81. “Hold still.”
82. “I just ironed these pants!”
83. “Enough with the sass!”
84. “Show me what’s behind your back.”
85. “I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.”
86. “Fine, don’t say anything and make me worry.”
87. “Stay awake.”
88. “STOP INTERRUPTING ME!”
89. “You’re not interested, are you?”
90. “I’m not buying ikea furniture again.”
91. “Tell me you need me.”
92. “Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you.”
93. “I’m telling you. I’m haunted.”
94. “I had a bad dream again.”
95. “Have I mentioned, I fucking hate Halloween.”
96. “It’s Christmas, don’t be mad at me.”
97. “You’re not going to starve yourself on Thanksgiving.”
98. “The store ran out of Easter eggs.”
99. “How could you forget your son’s birthday?”
100. “You can only suffer through my whining for so long until you get up and make me a sandwich.”

drew myself, @whelvenwings and @thebloggerbloggerfun in our respective hogwarts houses’ uniforms again just because!!