make life a ritual

The DEH teens and the five theories of deviance

Of course I don’t think this was intended, but it’s something I was thinking about today. Each of the five teenagers in DEH seem to fit into the five different theories of deviance- the reactions a person will have when a deviant act is committed.

1. Conformity- Jared. Throughout the show, Jared constantly tells Evan that he is only a “family friend” and he tries to blow off Connor Project things by saying “I said I was going to hang out with my real friends” or things along those lines. He also tells Evan “just nod and agree. Don’t make shit up!” when Evan reveals he’s lied to the Murphys about his relationship with Connor, and even goes right along with the plan to fake emails. Jared tends to be the funnyman who is also somewhat representative of all of the other students who think Connor is crazy and while they have no reason to really hate Evan (in the beginning, at least) they also don’t have any reason to go out of their way to talk to them. While he doesn’t seem to be pinned to the “typical conformist” archetype, when an act of deviance is committed (i.e. Connor’s suicide, Evan faking the emails, the truth getting out) Jared goes right along with Evan’s plan and when things don’t work out, he molds himself right back into the world of the other students. Jared tends to follow conformity whether it be to the rest of the student body or to Evan’s plans.

2. Retraction - Connor. The most obvious example of this is obviously his suicide. While it’s not stated whether or not Connor’s suicide was intended or accidental, in the idea that it was, Connor was dealing with his broken family life and his depleted relationship with his sister. He also deals with the entire school believing he’s crazy and not having any friends. Due to all of this buildup, Connor escapes, or retreats, by using drugs. The drugs are a sort of release from the everyday terrors Connor faces, unfortunately, when Connor is high he is irritable and abusive to his family and others and it only drags his life further down into the hole he’s trying to release himself from temporarily. This goes on for a while until Connor finds Evan’s letter and sees Zoe’s name in it. While Connor was mean when we see him alive, he’s also super high, and it’s also known that Connor has a super protective instinct over his sister, and seeing this letter from someone who didn’t even know her may have been the last thing Connor needed to end his life and retreat for good. Evan’s letter (the deviant act) is responded to with suicide (the retraction).

3. Innovation - Evan. When Cynthia and Larry think that Evan’s letter to himself was actually written by Connor, and Evan doesn’t have the heart to tell them it wasn’t, he starts the first of a long fabrication about this friendship he had with Connor. In For Forever, he simulates the day in which he and Connor go to the old orchard where Evan falls out a tree and breaks his arm and Connor is there for him. Sincerely, Me is about Evan and Jared creating fake email exchanges between Evan and Connor to show the Murphys and prove they were actually friends. In If I Could Tell Her, Evan tells Zoe all the things he loves about her, but passes them off as if Connor said them and never got a chance to tell her. He even goes so far to create a social media movement during Disappear, ‘The Connor Project’, dedicated to 'keeping Connor’s memory alive and that everyone should matter’. All of these things, however, all stem from a letter that Evan wrote to himself and Connor found- during one of the two’s only interactions, the other one in which Connor pushed Evan to the ground. Evan doesn’t know how to say no to people or tell the hard truth, so he continues to create a world of lies for the Murphys to hide under while dealing with Connor’s death- Evan doesn’t necessarily represent positive innovation, but it’s definitely innovation.

4. Ritualism - Alana. Alana is the super smart girl who is always ambitious to start new projects and learn new things, obsessed with getting new things to add to her resume. Alana is a perfectionist, and she barely refers to anyone as “friends” only “acquaintances”. When Connor dies and Evan starts the Connor Project, Alana jumps at another opportunity, especially one that can prevent anymore kids who feel invisible from killing themselves. Alana does multiple extracurricular activities and devotes almost all her time to them, and she spends every day doing so many of these similar things. When she realizes that everything Evan’s done is a scam, she flips, and promptly goes back to the life she knew before, the extra activities she did and the acquaintances she had, falling back into her old routine.

5. Rebellion - Zoe. When someone loses a sibling, the expected response is to be sad or depressed or angry, especially when they’re a teen and it’s to suicide. Zoe is all of these things, but for all wildly different reasons. When Connor dies, he and Zoe had a fractured relationship that would have taken a while to fix had either of them tried or wanted to. Connor’s suicide leaves Zoe sad that she never knew her brother better, but she’s mainly angry. At his suicide note. The letter that Zoe thinks is Connor’s suicide note says that there were a lot of underlying circumstances to Connor’s situation, a lot of mental health issues and personal struggles, and it angers Zoe because in her entire teenage life, all of Connor’s “issues” were taken out on her and she believed it to be just him being a genuinely terrible person, and this letter is trying to change her entire perspective of him, like it has to everyone else, yet Zoe refuses to believe it. Zoe starts to soften up when Evan tells her all the things Connor loved about her (which are actually things Evan himself loved about her) but by “Only Us” has let Evan into her life but still wants to leave Connor out of it, saying that their relationship didn’t need to revolve around Connor or his death. In “Requiem”, Zoe says “after all you put me through/don’t say it wasn’t true/that you are not the monster that I knew” saying that she refuses to believe that Connor was anything less than abusive, like he was to her, thus rebelling against the normal reaction.

When a deviant act is committed (Connor’s suicide, Evan’s plan, the Connor Project formation), you react by going along with it (conformity/Jared), getting away from it (retraction/Connor), making something new of it (innovation/Evan), continuing your everyday life (ritualism/Alana), or breaking the status quo and not following the new order (rebellion/Zoe).

An Introduction to Servitors

Over the past few months I’ve been looking into chaos magick and whilst doing so came across “servitors”. A servitor or thought form is a being which you can create to serve a purpose. For example you could create a servitor to help you develop your intuition, to assist in spell casting or if your feeling like it to menace a certain person.

A few things to note before creating a servitor:

Servitors can easily take up thoughts and actions of their own, it’s extremely important to create a very firm agreement with your servitor on creation.

A servitor is not a familiar.

Start creating a servitor with a small task like assisting a spell or help find an item. Trying to create a servitor with a more complicated task can easily lead to it spinning out of control. It’s also wise to note that you can create servitors with an automatic off switch, if you created a servitor to assist in a certain spell you could make it so the servitor is released as soon as it’s assisted.

If you create a servitor and just leave it or fail to “look after it” this could lead to it taking a vengeance against you and menacing you. It’s alot nicer to release a servitor from it’s duties instead of neglecting it.


It’s wise to start with a purpose and name for your servitor. Let’s say my servitor is going to be used for assisting my spellcasting.

I’d then proceed to find a “vessel” for my servitor, you can pick anything from a chess piece to a wand. You dont have to have a vessel but it helps when giving it orders and “feeding it”. I’d then make up a contract consisting of the servitors purpose and it’s rules for example:

You “Ace” are my servitor your purpose on this plane is to assist in my spell casting. You shall not interfere with any other being or entity. You shall not feed without permission.

Nothing fancy as you can see.
To create a servitor cast a circle and place it’s vessel on your alter or workspace in front of you. You might want to make a sigil with its name or purpose. Think of what your servitor will look like and hold your hands above it’s vessel whilst chanting something like you “ace” are being brought into being to serve me and only me. Whilst chanting your chant imagine the energy from your hands and other objects near by candles etc flowing into the vessel and giving it life. I recommend doing this for atleast 20 minutes for 3 days. Say your contract after each time doing this.

After your certain your servitor has life you might want to make your own ritual for feeding it. It can feed on your energy or you can put it’s vessel in a container with food or crystals and leave it to feed.

If you want your servitor to turn off or be released after its purpose simply say so in your contract. Its alot nice to do this than neglect it, after all it’s still a being.

I’m not an expert in servitors so I’ve probably missed alot. I just wanted to put this up to help share what I’ve been learning. Blessed be.

The Totem of the Wild.

This is something that I personally draw a lot from, and will be referring back to in future articles. The Totem of the Wild holds strong and diverse symbolism, and can be looked at from many perspectives under different circumstances.

One basis is the Totem’s representation of key Ideals to strive towards in our lives. Spirits of these animals (and others) that we can invoke in the process of bettering ourselves mentally.

Raven - Knowledge and Wisdom
Knowledge - To learn important lessons from the Gods, Nature, our Ancestors and our own Past. Knowledge of the Old Mysteries, the Runes, to be self-sufficient and sustaining, caring for and protecting your family. Learning new skills and keeping an active mind through study. To be able to pass this knowledge on to further generations.

Wisdom - Having the Wisdom to interpret these lessons when presented to you, and to take something from every event in your life. Having a wise judge of character towards those around you. Wisdom transcends all times, an old shaman can be considered as wise as a modern woodsman, there’s a time and a place, and wisdom to be found in all aspects of your life.

Stag - Honor and Pride
Honor - Act with Honor at all times. Give respect where respect is given, and live in a way that others will respect you. Honor must be earned. Honor all things in life, nature, the Gods and those deserving.

Pride - Have Pride in yourself and your achievements, and always strive to achieve acts of pride. Self-pride and vanity are not the same, it is healthy to be proud of your deeds and actions. Have pride in your heritage and your ancestors, and in turn make them and your future generations Proud of you.

Wolf - Courage and Loyalty
Courage - Courage is the ability to face fear, adversity and the unknown and to persist for a higher cause. The act of destroying the lower self and becoming the higher self in one moment, standing strong against all odds. Be courageous in all acts, and fear nothing, stand up tall and proud, and power ever onward.

Loyalty - Being loyal to those you would consider family, by blood or oath. Keeping to your word and oath, and living by it. The loyal man is a man of action, not of words and excuses. Loyalty means mutual trust within your family and working together for a greater cause. The wolf hunts as a pack.

Bear - Strength and Solitude
Strength - BE STRONG! Strong physically, mentally and spiritually. Be brutal and strong and physical, protect your family like the mother bear. Be strong of mind and will, stand firm for who and what you are, and give way for no one. Be strong spiritually, in your beliefs and your practices. Make your life a living ritual. Project your strength to others, be both the immovable object and the unstoppable force. The bear is a beast! Not a rug to be walked over.

Solitude - Solitude is a regression, a hibernation. This is a time for inward sight and self-discovery, a time of spiritual and mental rest and rejuvenation. Understand that solitude is integral in growing. Closed and secluded contemplation will lead to a wider, wiser, knowledge of all around you.

Relationship Tips for INTJs

Relationships are a continual interplay of giving, receiving, and compromising. Although every MBTI type has its strengths and weaknesses, your type need not determine your behavior. Moving outside your comfort zone opens up the opportunity for healthy personal and interpersonal development. There are certain human needs that are universal and this makes it possible for any two types to connect with one another. If two people are willing to lower their defenses and genuinely attend to each other’s needs, then the relationship has a great chance for success and happiness. 

Keep reading

hystereksekai  asked:

Hi! Could you possibly update the pining/unrequited love tag? Thanks!

i like how you see the same author 3 times in a row 

Secondhand Soulmate by AnnoyinglyCute, Inell (7/7 | 25,211 | PG13)

Not always, not even most of the time, but sometimes – 24% of the time, statistically speaking – people meet their soulmates and live happily ever after.

THIS isn’t that story.

This is the story of Stiles Stilinski, whose soulmate died before he was born. This is the story of all the sorrows and heartache Stiles experienced, all the bullying and oppression from those who should know better but didn’t. This is also the story of the friendships Stiles made along the way, of the battles he fought – and won – and the love that endured through it all.

Please Come with Me by laDouleurExquise (1/1 | 3,074 | PG13)

Set in London’s 60’s, Stiles and Derek have been coworkers at a successful magazine and friends with benefits for the past few months. It’s their last night together before Derek moves out of the city and Stiles- well, Stiles is not okay.

Something More by Inell (1/1 | 1,835 | PG13)

Derek and Stiles get together twice a week to hang out. This time, they decide to watch a movie after dinner, and their friendship becomes something more.

Dance With Me by Inell (1/1 | 3,003 | PG13)

The pack is at a dance club to celebrate Malia’s 22nd birthday when Stiles realizes maybe his unrequited feelings for Derek actually are reciprocated.

Rebirth by Inell (1/1 | 1,550 | PG13)

Derek trusts Stiles with his life, but rituals always make him uneasy.

There’s a Wolf in My Bed by halcyon1993 (5/5 | 20,366 | PG13)

Soon after helping Derek stop his uncle, Stiles returns home from school one day to find the new alpha fast asleep on his bed. He doesn’t know what to do about it, especially not when it keeps happening.

Laura’s Lillies by brokenpromisesandhope (1/1 | 2,008 | NR)

Stiles buys one purple lily every day.

25 Things You Need to Stop Wasting Time On
  1. Distractions that keep you from special moments with special people. – Pay attention to the little things, because when you really miss someone you miss the little things the most, like just laughing together.  Go for long walks.  Indulge in great conversations.  Count your mutual blessings.  Let go for a little while and just BE together.
  2. Compulsive busyness. – Schedule time every day to not be busy.  Have dedicated downtime – clear points in the day to reflect, rest, and recharge.  Don’t fool yourself; you’re not so busy that you can’t afford a few minutes of sanity.
  3. Negative thinking about your current situation. – Life is like a mirror; we get the best results when we smile.  So talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems.  Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.  Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there.
  4. The needless drama around you. – Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you.  Focus on the positives, and soon the negatives will be harder to see.
  5. The desire for everything you don’t have. – No, you won’t always get exactly what you want, but remember this:  There are lots of people who will never have what you have right now.  The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for.  Happiness never comes to those who don’t appreciate what they already have.
  6. Comparing yourself to everyone else. – Social comparison is the thief of happiness.  You could spend a lifetime worrying about what others have, but it wouldn’t get you anything. 
  7. Thinking about who you were or what you had in the past. – You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago.  You’re always growing.  Experiences don’t stop.  That’s life.
  8. Worrying about the mistakes you’ve made. – It’s OK if you mess up; that’s how you get wiser.  Give yourself a break.  Don’t give up.  Great things take time, and you’re getting there.  Let your mistakes be your motivation, not your excuses.  Decide right now that negative experiences from your past won’t predict your future.
  9. Worrying about what everyone thinks and says about you. – Don’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal.  Rarely do people do things because of you; they do things because of them.  You honestly can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you.  All you can do is change how you react and who you choose to be around.
  10. Self-deception. – Your life will improve only when you take small chances.  And the first and most difficult chance you can take is to be honest with yourself.
  11. A life path that doesn’t feel right. – Life is to be enjoyed, not endured.  When you truly believe in what you’re doing, it shows, and it pays.  Success in life is for those who are excited about where they are going.  It’s about walking comfortably in your own shoes, in the direction of YOUR dreams.
  12. Everyone else’s definition of success and happiness. – You simply can’t base your idea of success and happiness on other people’s opinions and expectations.
  13. Those who insist on using and manipulating you. – What you allow is what will continue.  Give as much as you can, but don’t allow yourself to be used.  Listen to others closely, but don’t lose your own voice in the process.
  14. Trying to impress everyone. – One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like us, and that’s perfectly OK.  No matter how you live, someone will be disappointed.  So just live your truth and be sure YOU aren’t the one who is disappointed in the end.
  15. All the fears holding you back. – Fear is a feeling, not a fact.  The best way to gain strength and self-confidence is to do what you’re afraid to do.  Dare to change and grow.  In the end, there is only one thing that makes a dream completely impossible to achieve: Lack of action based on the fear of failure.
  16. Doubting and second-guessing yourself. – When in doubt just take the next small step.  Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.
  17. People who continuously dump on your dreams. – It’s better to be lonely than allow negative people and their opinions derail you from your destiny.  Don’t let others crush your dreams.  Do just once what they say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their negativity again.
  18. Thinking the perfect time will come. – You can’t always wait for the perfect moment.  Sometimes you must dare to do it because life is too short to wonder what could have been.
  19. Band-Aids and temporary fixes. – You can’t change what you refuse to confront.  You can’t find peace by avoiding things.  Deal with problems directly before they deal with your happiness.  
  20. Close-minded judgments. – Open your mind before you open your mouth.  Don’t hate what you don’t know.  The mind is like a parachute; it doesn’t work when it’s closed.
  21. Other people’s mistakes and oversights. – Today, be tolerant of people’s mistakes and oversights.  Sometimes good people make bad choices.  It doesn’t mean they’re bad; it simply means they are human.
  22. Resentment. – Kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness, nor forgiveness for acceptance.  It’s about knowing that resentment is not on the path to happiness.  Remember, you don’t forgive people because you’re weak. You forgive them because you’re strong enough to know that people make mistakes.
  23. Any hateful thoughts at all. – Set an example.  Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.  Make kindness a daily ritual; it’s what makes life happier and more fulfilling in the long run.
  24. Regrets of any kind. – You don’t have to be defined by the things you once did or didn’t do.  Don’t let yourself be controlled by regret.  Maybe there’s something you could have done differently, or maybe not.  Either way, it’s merely something that has already happened.  Leave the unchangeable past behind you as you give yourself to the present moment.
  25. Every point in time other than right now. – Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone.  Don’t stress too much about the future, it hasn’t arrived.  Do your best to live NOW and make this moment worth living.