make it bad

anonymous asked:

yeah hey, hi. One of those people that refer to some shithead abusive male char 'you wretched disaster' and get abused on this site because I write them, but no one bothers to see me trying to make it an AU and try to write them attempting to right their wrongs and be a better person. No, they see the baddie and I'm attacked, I'm trying though because its different and I wanna change outcomes for the better. Would be nice not being lumped into one cata because we try something new for them.

I really don’t get why so many people feel attacked by basic fandom observations. We got at least 5 messages exactly like this with slightly different wording and it’s really funny to me. I’m not saying stop doing it or you’re a terrible awful person, I’m just of the opinion that keeping these things in mind via humor is a good way of realizing where you stand exactly (in the majority) and that while you can gush about your problematic fave for a variety of reasons, you should keep in mind that this stuff makes others (the minority) uncomfortable or puts them in harm’s way, and that they often get the short end of the stick for speaking up about it. Compromises can be achieved on behalf of those who favor “bad” characters so as to make everything as comfortable as possible for everyone. This is especially important in fandoms where a lot of kids take part.

By the way, this is also a note to myself, because I find darker characters compelling very easily. Publishing that previous anon was as much checking myself for this sort of behavior as it was reminding everyone else of it.

If you don’t wanna be “lumped in” with the Real Fandom Baddies, then don’t be. If you know you’re not among the people who just don’t care, and you really try to make things right as you say, then you have no reason to feel threatened by that post. Do your thing. Be critical. No one can stop you anyway. Godspeed.

for the life of me, I cannot understand why the karahell shippers keep arguing that kara overreacted to mon el’s lie. her reaction about him being the leader of slave owning, extremely xenophobic, and misogynistic planet were completely valid. And, no, it’s not because she’s prejudice against Daxamites, it’s because she doesn’t have a fucked up moral compass like m*n el. And this isn’t the first time that someone kara deeply cares about has lied to her. This instance reminds me of 1x15 when alex finally admitted to killing astra

admittedly, they both lied to kara because they were afraid of losing kara, but that is just about all those two lies had in common. alex, who is willing to sacrifice anything for her baby sister, could not keep lying to her. Not because kara was taking it out on J’onn, but because she could not stomach to keep lying to the person she loves the most in the entire universe.

Whereas the only reason mon el even told kara about being the prince of Daxam was because he had to. He claims that he has tried to tell her multiple times, but that is a load of bullshit. If he was going to tell her, he would have done it before his parents showed up.Then when it finally comes time that kara is going to end things, mon el tries to guilt her. “I would just like to say a few things before I lose you forever.” “I love you.” THAT’S ABUSIVE AND IT IS NOT OKAY! HE HAD NO RIGHT TO SAY THOSE THINGS, IT IS EXPLICIT GASLIGHTING!!

Alex, even after admitting that she killed kara’s aunt, to keep her from killing J’onn, might I add, did not try to guilt her into staying. there was no “kara, don’t.” there was no “I love you.” It was alex telling her that it was what she was trained to do. It was alex coming to the realization that this is what might be the end to the most important relationship in her entire life.

Kara, despite losing the last of her family (with the exception of Clark), was able to forgive her sister. This is the Danvers sisters that has drawn myself and many, many others to this show. Aside from mon el, ruining this relationship was the greatest disservice the cw could have ever done to the supergirl and its fans.

When you’ve been bit by the writing bug, but don’t have time to write

Originally posted by labitcherie

on autism moms

I’ve joined lots of “autism moms support groups” on Facebook to try and teach people (who are often, but not always, allistic) more about autism and Autism $peaks, and I’ve noticed something that for some reason surprised me (even though it shouldn’t have).

the vast majority of the people in these groups care deeply for their autistic children and would give up their lives for them, just as they would for their allistic children.

and I post a lot about the grief and pain which stems from both of my parents crying out of grief when I was diagnosed with autism at 15 years old. thinking about that hurts just as much as thinking about when I tried to come out to them as nonbinary. maybe more. to this day I don’t have a clue why either of them cried beyond simply ableism. but something I’ve learned about many parents of autistic people, even including self-identified “autism parents”, is that a main reason they cry and a main reason they experience pain when they find out their child is autistic is that most of them are learning for the first time that their kid is living in a world that isn’t built for them. they’re afraid their kid is being or will be bullied, they’re afraid their kid won’t get a decent education due to lack of accommodations, they’re afraid that they as parents have been doing things wrong. you do get the occasional person who restrains their kid, or who videotapes them while they’re having a meltdown, or sends them to 40 hours of ABA a week. but when those types of people (aka the stereotypical Autism Mom™), the other people in the group are already at the child’s defense and trying to find a way to help the kid and get the Autism Mom™ to stop doing whatever it is that’s harmful and abusive before I, the autistic person who joined the group specifically to combat things like that, have to say anything. there are even people who are educated about Autism $peaks and tell people about what they’ve done and list organizations that actually helps Autistic people. there is still a very long way to go in these groups, but these people are, much more often than not, good people who try their best to help their offspring.