make do & mend

I love life because-

I love life because it gives me a chance to improve. I could have fucked up completely today but I can wake up tomorrow and improve on the mistakes I made and be a better person. I do not have the choice of not making mistakes but I do have the option of mending them.

Reflection

I don’t know where to begin.


So much has happened last year that I’m just left to contemplate over today. What’s more is that things will continue to happen and pile up this year. It’s only a matter of which choices do I want to make now? How do I make this year better? How do I mend what’s been broken inside of me and make a positive change?


…Last year was not my worst despite what I feel and think.
Though that doesn’t mean I’ll forget how I’ve come to realize my friends have drifted away from me, more drama has arisen between them and their friends, people I used to talk to have grown up and lead a life of their own, college pressure finally weighing me down, and the knowledge I now have help from counselors which causes me to feel weak and inferior compared to others.


I’ve been battered and bruised, thrown here and there by people I thought loved and cared about me. I see invisible markings on my body where men have touched me, memories burned into my mind that haunt me. Moments I felt like a dunce all because students around me got awards for high GPA’s and got classes they wanted as well as early dismissal days. Meanwhile here I am just happy to merely get by with things I had to make up.


I will not forget the days I spent mourning day and night because all it took was one person to tear me down.
The morning sunlight filtering through the hospital window as I regained consciousness and realized my wish to have my surgery fail didn’t come true and I wasn’t sure how to feel in that moment.
..but then, I remember moments that made me smile. I remember how you guys responded to my call to action for artists to update for me and talked to me when no one else did.
I recall so many good things that happened that either follow something bad or occurred prior to it.
I forget that while I’m busy being jealous of someone else’s work and life, I’m doing just fine.
I have made impacts on people’s lives and I see it here, out there, anywhere I’m around long enough.
I get so caught up feeling useless and bitter that I forget how much work I put into my passion and just how far it’s gone already.


This isn’t to indulge myself, but to show you guys that things happen and things change.


People come and go for one.


Our experiences and what we choose to make of it determine what’ll become of us next.


It’s best not to dwindle on the past too long, despite how hurtful it may have been. Don’t let it define you.


You can do this. You are strong. You only need to be you because there will never be anyone else like you. You are loved. Just, you.


You are important.


You beautiful, witty, handsome, talented person you.


And thank you, truly. I appreciate your patience, persistence, kindness and care. All of it. Without all the help I’ve been given by many of you I might not be here still and I hope that kind of compassion is shared further.

You are my person.. The person I want to buy a dog with. The person. I want to watch movies all day in bed with. The person I want to grow with. The person I want to laugh with. The person I want to go grocery shopping with. The person I want to bicker with about which laundry detergent is better. In all ways you are my person. No one can mend my pain like you do, and no one comes close to what I can do for you. You are my person and I am yours. & until you figure out that I’ll be over here waiting for your warm embrace and soft kiss.
Begging For The Sun To Go Down
  • Begging For The Sun To Go Down
  • Make Do And Mend
  • Don't Be Long
Play

maybe baby we’re just tired and I don’t really feel lonely by your side. so low whispered in your ear, “hold me closely while I’m here.”

pale moon I’d turn the tides for you if I still thought you’d notice if I do

maybe baby we’re just tired and when you wake up I’ll be by your side

youtube

Here are two Title Fight videos I took years ago that I recently watched and decided to put up on YouTube, because why not?

This first one was the first time I saw Title Fight. They played one of my now best friends Jake from East Coast Collectives backyard in essentially the middle of the winter and it was so cold. I think they were playing a weekend with Make Do And Mend? It’s crazy to think that this is going to be seven years ago soon. A bunch of us went to go see H2O, Cruel Hand and Energy in NYC after and that show was cool as well.

I love that kang chul is competitive with his old self. Its a version of himself he doesn’t recognise, he can critique him in hindsight. Like where he questions himself on shooting dad. ‘Why did I think you were god, why was I so angry’. It’s like reading a character doing something stupid in a book. 'Bitch, don’t open the door!’.

But what I truly love is when yeon joo keeps mentioning how chul did her wrong: 'you forgot and left me with the memories by myself’, 'that’s what you said last time and then you left’, chul replies 'that was the comic chul’.

Its like he’s dating this girl whose husband left her and has all these fears of him doing the same thing. 'That’s him, not me’.

Yeon Joo is broken and tired and all chul (2.0) wants to do is mend/fix her broken heart. Make her forget about her husband and love him instead.

I remember reading comments whew people asked who the male second lead was. It’s funny because chul is both the main and second lead. At least there won’t be any SLS this time around. I’ll give you a hint who she’s going to end up with… chul!

Hideaways
  • Hideaways
  • Touché Amoré
  • Touche Amore/ Make Do and Mend
Play

And with a breath I say take me home
And when it ends I am left alone
I walk with both arms to my side
But in my mind they’re both spread wide
I’m not looking for a warm embrace
I’m really asking why?

Visual Field - Proceed
I Will Possess Your Heart - Death Cab For Cutie
Living Saints - Polar Bear Club
Making Friends - Bangers
Bowl of Oranges - Bright Eyes
Backroads - Lonely the Brave
Introduced Species - Hands like Houses
The Past Should Stay Dead - Emarosa
You’re Not Alone - Saosin
First Crush - Sabrepulse
Screams in Caves - Polar Bear Club
The Ghost of Beverly Dive - Death Cab For Cutie
Oak Square - Make Do and Mend
Two Year Plan - Such Gold
Bleedin Heart Trouble - Bear Trade
A Lack of Color - Death Cab For Cutie
The Blue, The Green - Lonely the Brave
Filthy Luck - Beach Slang
Arcanine - Sabrepulse
Fire Away - The Swellers
Move, Shake, Hide - Marmozets
Le Disko - Shiny Toy Guns
The Best I Ever Had - The Swellers
Mutual Friends - Arteries
For Those Who Paved The Way - Above Them
@hatelyn some music for ya

“You have a notorious assassin living in your apartment,” she seethes later.

“Oh, good,” Steve replies, sounding utterly unperturbed. “I didn’t know if he’d take me up on it.”

“Well, he did,” Sharon says, taking a large mouthful of her wine.

“Do you know if he needs anything? There wasn’t much food left in the apartment,” Steve asks, sounding concerned.

“Well, since he managed Home Depot, I think he’s probably going to be fine with getting groceries,” Sharon says.

“Home Depot?” Steve asks, and Sharon can just see the brow wrinkle.

“He’s spackling and painting over the holes he shot through your walls,” she says, and pours herself another glass.

“He always was good with his hands,” Steve says warmly.

It’s 2015 guys. Why are we still trying to label Makoto as abusive and Makoharu as unhealthy?