make a differene

Good evening..

..to you all :) How are you? Sat here thinking I wanted to give you the most out of my blog - I want to know when the best time to post is. Time differens makes it hard for everyone to get my updates “live”. If you want to tell me, I woudl be glad. Where are you from? 

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Register, Vote, Save the Day! 

// I don’t normally post outside of the Star Trek universe. Even my OOC posts are related to science (plus the occasional personal note), but I feel the need to spread the signal for this message. 

If you are a citizen of the United States of America, do not waste your vote. If you are old enough to vote, register, and make a difference. You do matter. Your needs and wants matter. 

Don’t fixate on the negative. Remember all the positive things the people of this country have accomplished. In my lifetime alone, since I’m a lot older than most of you, I’ve seen tremendous growth where those who are different, like me, have their voices heard and positive changes have been made. Not all of our wants have been met, but I do not think that’s possible–because it’s human nature not to settle–but it is better. 

Do not let Hatred, Anger, and Fear become the message of this country. 

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Stop Sex Trafficking

Be in the know

anonymous asked:

Yay okay! Idk if this makes sense but could you do one where "you" and Harry are like hooking up and he has feelings for you but you don't want to be in an actual relationship with him because his ex's are giving you a hard time and you don't want to deal with that. Idk if that makes sense but if it does, please and thank you!

Ok, here we go, hope you like it!

***

“I can’t keep doing this if you keep pushing me away!” Harry’s voice thundered in the room, making me shrink into myself, my arms around my knees as I buried my crying face into my legs. “It’s like you’re hiding something from me and I can’t push through the walls you’ve built!”

It’s been like this for two hours now. We had been having a great day, fooling around in the sheets, kissing and touching, breathy laughs and pleasure filled sighs filling his hotel room as the hours went by.

It was hard to see him lose his temper. After knowing him for many years, I knew that for him to be actually mad, something must push him through his limits and, unfortunately this time, I had done it.

***

I went out to the little balcony, looking from some fresh air after inhaling so much smoke, my drink heavy in my hand. Sipping, I looked at the bright lights of the city, squinting my eyes at the Hollywood sign shining bright. Turning around and looking through the glass doors, I spotted the head of curly locks, the big smile on his face and his loud voice making me shake my head and sigh.

We were at a party, the lights blinding and the smell of alcohol and smoke burning my lungs and making me a bit woozy, but it was hard to miss him. He was tall, lean and handsome and looking at his face was like staring into the face of a lighthouse. His shoulders looked broad in his red silk shirt, legs clad into his classic black skinny jeans and the biker boots made him look edgy without trying.

I had been eying him the whole night, trying to be inconspicuous so Jeff, our friend in common, wouldn’t notice I was swooning over his popstar friend. I couldn’t say if it was working but, after being alone in the balcony for a while, I started to shake when I saw Jeff pulling the boy through the crowd of party goers, his eyes set on me and a determined look on his face. I was proper fucked.

“You sneaky little shit.” Jeff breathed out, pointing at me, as he emerged on the balcony, the curly haired one towering behind him and a goofy smile on his face.

“What have I done?” I faked innocence, my eyes big and a pout on my lips, keeping my eyes on Jeff. I had a crush on that boy since the day his rounded face and flirty smile appeared on the X-factor, and that wasn’t a secret for anyone, not even for Jeff.

When he’d met the boy, I was the first one to get a call as he promised he would introduce us, someday. I had been avoiding this moment for months now, knowing Azoff would’ve probably told him I had a crush and I wanted to save myself the embarrassment.

“You’ve been running away from me all evening!” He exclaimed and I laughed, setting my drink on the railing of the balcony and shrugged.

“I wasn’t, I was just trying to have a good time.” I lied through my teeth and Jeff rolled his eyes.

“You were avoiding me. Avoiding us.” He said, pointing to himself then to Harry and I faked a smile.

“Why would I?” I asked. “Anyway, what d’you want Jeff?”

“Well, I’ve been meaning to do this for months…” Jeff breathed out, pulling Harry with him and getting closer to me. “Harry, this is the girl I told you about.”

“Oh! It’s nice to meet you, I’m Harry.” The thick british accent made the butterflies on my belly fly around in circles and the smile on his face only made it worse. He offered me his hand and I shook it, feeling shivers run down my spine. He leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek and I felt the place burn with heat, our eyes locking when I breathed out.

“I know who you are. It’s nice to meet you.” I smiled at him, our hands still locked together as we looked into each others eyes.

It was a weird feeling, the electricity running through my veins while he touched me. We stayed in silent for a few seconds, his eyes glued to mine and my skin prickling with excitement. My heart was racing and my mouth was dry, it felt like a thousand butterflies swirled on my stomach and I couldn’t look away. I didn’t want to.

***

After that day, we were inseparable. It took us months to actually be together, but we were always hanging out, visiting each other and repeating the same phrase, over and over again.

“We’re just friends.”

It seemed like the world wanted us together but we never had the guts to do it, always denying, always playing it like a joke until it wasn’t anymore. Months later, my feelings for him were so overwhelming it started to crush me until I broke down, one rainy and cold day in January, when he was back from his vacation with his girlfriend.

When he knocked on my door and I saw his face, it was like getting punched. The feelings so overwhelming it took everything in me not to kiss him right there, the shock of his touch sending shivers down my spine as he hugged me hello.

He’d come to visit, after being away during the holidays. He was tanned, his hair longer than ever before, his smile bigger than ever and he looked well rested and cozy. As he entered my living room and threw himself on my couch, I made a cup of tea to warm him up and to give me some time to reign in my feelings.

“So, how was St.Barths?” I asked from the kitchen, a tight knot in my throat as I prepared myself for all his swooning over his girl. I knew he was smitten but I couldn’t help thinking he was supposed to be with me.

“It was nice. Everyone was there, Jeff too, you should’ve come.” He said, entering the kitchen as I poured the boiling water on his mug.

“Y’know I don’t like being stuck in closed spaces.” I shrugged. You know I don’t like seeing you with other girls, were the words stuck in my head, but he didn’t need to know that.

“I missed you.” He said, hugging me from behind and resting his chin on my shoulder. I shuddered, my stomach in knots and my hands sweating, my eyes closing around the feeling of him so close to me.

“You sure did.” I laughed without humor, pulling away and opening the fridge, looking for the milk and running away from all those feelings.

“Do I sense irony?” He asked, a frown on his face and a confused look on his eyes.

“Not at all, sweetheart.” I said, giving him a quick smile. His eyebrows shoot up, his arms crossing across his body and his defensive front being put up right away.

“Did you just call me sweetheart? You only call me that when you’re angry.” He stated and I couldn’t refute that. “What have I done?”

“Nothing Harry, it’s nothing. I’m just tired, I guess.” I sighed, trying to find a way to end this conversation.

“No, you’re not tired, you’re on break. What happened?” He pushed, coming closer and I scrambled away, going to the other side of the kitchen. The kink on his brow turned higher, if possible and I realized there was no running now.

“You can’t just come back from a holiday, which you’ve spent fucking your supermodel girlfriend and hug me like that and tell me you’ve missed me!” I exclaimed, frustrated at his stubbornness. My hands ran through my hair, frustration pouring out of me in waves.

“I didn’t know it bothered you when I touched you like that.” He said, his demeanor less defensive and more vulnerable now, his face looking sad.

“It doesn’t-“ I started, grunting in annoyance. “It doesn’t bother me. I like it and that’s the problem!” I told him, looking into his green eyes and sighing, sadness taking over me. He would never be mine like he was hers and I had to accept that. “I need you to understand that, when you touch me like that, it- it’s like you want me.” I said, my voice shaky with the tears that were starting to pool in my eyes. “And I know you don’t.”

“How d’you know?” He asked, the anger in his voice making me look up at him, confused.

“How do I know what?” I asked, my brows furrowed.

“How d’you know I don’t want you?” Harry exclaimed and my mouth went agape, the possibility of what he was saying sinking in.

“You’ve got a bloody girlfriend!” I yelled, my hand hitting the countertop and the sting making me wince.

“You’ve ran away from me since the day we met. You’ve literally ran away from me.” Harry said and the truth in his words made me cringe. “I’ve had feelings for you since the moment I met you, you can’t tell me you didn’t know that. And now, you’re telling me that you know I don’t want you?” He sounded offended, like I never seen him before and I was glued to my spot.

“That doesn’t change anything. You still have a girlfriend.” I said, shaking. The possibilities swirled in my head and my heart was beating manically, my breath short.

“Do you want me?” He asked, an incredible power in his voice, a demand that made my knees weaker.

“It doesn’t make a differen-“ I started, but he cut me off. He was still on the other side of the kitchen but it felt like he was right next to me, burning my resolve with every word that left his pink lips.

“Answer the bloody question!” Harry exclaimed.

“I- I wa- bloody hell, I want you.” I breathed out, grabbing the marble of the countertop to keep myself steady.

“Good.”

With that, he turned around, the sound of the door shutting making me hold my breath.

It was days after, after being completeky MIA, that he appeared on my doorstep.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, angry at him for being missing.

“I need to sort some stuff out.” He said and I locked my arms in front of me, my anger boiling inside. “Can I come in?”

“No, you can’t!” I yelled and he looked surprised. “You can’t come in here, make me poor out my feelings for you and then simply disappear like it was nothing, you CAN’T do that, Harry!” I yelled at him, pushing his chest. “You’re such a dickhead and I ha-” I started, but his strong hands cupped my face and his lips covered mine, making me stop my screaming. His tongue sweeped against mine, my knees turning to jelly as he pulled me closer and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He pushed inside, closing the door with his foot and pushing me against it, his hands roaming my body and his kiss turning feverish and dirty, grunts and moans coming out of us like a mantra.

“I want you.“ He breathed in my ear and nibbled on my neck, making me roll my hips against his, feeling his cock against my center, my eyes rolling back.

“Take me to bed.” I begged.

***

“Love, I know it’s hard for you to deal with your feelings, but it’s like I’m talking to a brick wall.” Harry breathed out, his frustration pouring out as I cried in the corner, avoiding looking at him.

“Kitten, I- damn it, I love you.” He said and my breathing stopped, my heart accelerating and the fear feeling like ice in my veins. “I love you and you keep telling me no, keep pushing me away. Are you ashamed of me? Is that why you don’t want to be mine?” The sadness in his voice made my heart ache and I couldn’t hide it anymore. Not from him.

“It’s Kendall.” I said, breathing out. “We met right after we started this and I think Jeff told her about us and she’s b- she’s been harassing me.” I said, his eyes bulging out as he looked at me. “I’ve been refusing to be your girlfriend because it’s hard enough to be your friend. She’s been telling me all this time how I’ve ruined things for you both and the guilt is eating me up.” I gasped, all in one breath.

“She’s what..?” He said, incredulous. His face was the perfect portray of shock, his green eyes burning with something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. “I can’t believe this shit!” Rage burned in his voice and I shrinked even more into myself, the covers around me wrinkling with the movement.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was that serious and-“ I started but Harry raised his hand, in a surrender motion. I stopped, looking at him and waiting for his next words.

“I don’t care what she told you, I just need you to know it’s not truth.” Harry said, the deepness of his voice making me shiver. “I want you. I love you, is this not enough for you? Why don’t you believe me?” He sounded hurt and it broke my heart to know he thought I didn’t think his feelings were true.

“I believe you.” I whispered. “And I love you too.” I confessed.

“Then that should be enough for you. Don’t question my feelings because of what other people told you.” He got closer, sitting on the edge of his bed. “Can you please, please, be my girlfriend?” He asked me, his eyes bright with hope.

“I- yes. Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend.” I nodded and he sighed, pulling me to his lap. I straddled him, my arms going to his shoulders and his hand reaching for my face to wipe away the tears.

“If you ever have doubts or you’re afraid of someone in my past… just talk to me. I promise you’re the only one I want and no one will change that.” He confessed and I nodded, a tear falling before I could stop myself.

“I’m sorry, I was just scared.” I whispered, leaning in so our foreheads touched, as he ran his nose softly on mine, his lips catching mine in a soft kiss.

“You don’t have to be, I’m all yours kitten.”

As he kissed me, it was like all the broken pieces of me were glued back together. All the fear was replaced by the hope that now, after hiding this from him for so long, we would finally have a chance at being together, like we truly wanted and deserved.

His hands tangled in my hair as he pulled me closer, the sweetness of his tongue making me whimper and bite on his lip, the need pouring out of us and making us clutch to each other tighter. I rolled my hips, my hands grabbing at his tshirt and his name rolling of my lips in a breathy sigh when his warm hands sneaked under my top.

“Let me show you just how much I want you…”

***

Let me know what you think guys! B xx