majory

there’s this star canis majoris that’s seventy quadrillion times the size of earth. there are seven billion people on this planet made of seven billion billion billion atoms each. do you feel it now? that shrinking feeling, the one i was talking about? do you feel like god might be real? how could you call this an accident? i don’t think i believe in miracles but i don’t know how else to explain this. i don’t know how else to believe in anything.

god, if you’re out there, i’m sorry. if you aren’t, i’m sorry too.

—  from s(hr)inking feeling, sarah kate osborn

i heard the earth fits nine hundred and sixty thousand times into the sun and i don’t know about you but that kind of makes me feel like i am shrinking. in middle school my favorite word was infinitesimal. i think i read it in a lois lowry book. i wrote a lot of poems back then about how the mountains made me feel small but did you know there’s this star canis majoris that’s seventy quadrillion times the size of earth? i don’t know quite how we got here but i know better than to call it a coincidence.

i really only think about god on sundays. i really only pray when i need something. i spend more time angry than i do grateful. someone tells me blue-haired poets are supposed to know better than to believe this kind of thing. i say i still don’t know if i do.

what i’m trying to say is, i know there’s something out there. i think it takes more faith to believe in a perfect explosion so maybe this is just me taking the easy way out. i am still picking gravel from my knees from all the places i’ve knelt and felt nothing. i keep asking questions and getting no answers. i keep praying anyway. i don’t know where this leaves me. my bible is always contradicting itself but can i really complain when all i’ve done here is change my mind?

there’s this star canis majoris that’s seventy quadrillion times the size of earth. there are seven billion people on this planet made of seven billion billion billion atoms each. do you feel it now? that shrinking feeling, the one i was talking about? do you feel like god might be real? how could you call this an accident? i don’t think i believe in miracles but i don’t know how else to explain this. i don’t know how else to believe in anything.

god, if you’re out there, i’m sorry. if you aren’t, i’m sorry too.

—  s(hr)inking feeling, sarah kate osborn
7

Kaijay Hur (red sea)

Location: Siru Zhamoi (the wanderer solar system)

Weather: toxic rain
Sentinels: regular
Flora: high
Fauna: infrequent
Discovery number: 3

Points of interest:

i. Diaytoo I (Flats I)
ii. Kasee Danvee (Green Moor)
iii. Sayboi I (Marsh I)

Captain Avery’s notes: sea was red when near or underwater, but changed color from farther away.

[discovered by sirius majoris]