since my crazy freshman year post was a big hit, I thought you guys might enjoy a list of some of the weird things that happened this year! Enjoy!
someone yelling “BALL SACKS” at the tops of their lungs in the dorm hall while the clock tower chimed ominously in the distance
update: door slams five hours later, accompanied by a very annoyed “ball sacks, again”
update: week and a half later, someone slammed open the stairwell door, shouted “SUNDAY MORNING! BALL SACKS!” and then slammed it shut and ran down the stairs
update: it’s been 8 months. Every time I think the ball sacks guy is finally done, he shows up again at a random hour on a random day and shouts “BALL SACKS” down the hall for no known reason. I am frightened to try and learn more at this point.
those two semi-drunk guys on a Tuesday evening that were on a third floor balcony serenading some guys on a second floor balcony with Bohemian Rhapsody
that person who was laying face-down on the sidewalk in front of the University Center while crying and his friend was sitting next to him, gently patting him on the back (#same)
my first real injury in a sword fight
people slingshotting shirts off the roof of the English building
this conversation with my friend
“Get turnt. But get turnt responsibly.”
“Get it embroidered on a throw pillow.”
overheard in the library
“I dunno, I just don’t think I want to catch them all.”
“But you GOTTA catch ‘em all, bro! Don’t make me sing at you!”
the guy sitting in the parking lot outside of my dorm, smoking a joint in his car with a plastic skeleton wearing a bridal veil in the passenger seat
the RedBull guerrilla marketing teams that would wander around campus giving out free drinks because the campus store only has Monster
“You don’t understand, this malleophone is more valuable than my life.”
my ASL professor using a picture of Kanye West to teach us the sign for egotistical/big-headed
the former Swiss Army Knife CEO subbing for my management class and going on a small rant about Google buying and selling Motorola so much
The Smoking Bandit who almost killed me on a Tuesday night, and who cussed me out at 3:30 am a week later, but ended it with “love you!!!”
The Sexy Lumberjack Twins
conversation a day before the presidential election with my section leader
“What are you doing?”
“Crocheting. Avoiding news outlets.”
overheard in line to get breakfast the Sunday before finals
“So then he calls me at like 3 am looking for weed and I’m like? Oh my god, no, let me finish this paper I don’t have any weed right now.”
“I know he’s kind of a fuckboi, but like… a fuckable fuckboi, you know?”
the beer stash in the locker room during spring semester that was liberally used before 10 am
“There’s pizza being neglected over here!” -instant mad scramble for the table-
overheard on the shared balcony attached to my room
“Siri, what the FUCK”
before a painfully early class
“I can’t recall where my phone is.”
“There’s a pun in there somewhere, who wants to take it?”
“Give me 20 minutes to finish my coffee first.”
LGBT Studies professor: “my gay agenda is maple syrup”
“I’m an American college student, I point and laugh at serving sizes.”
that time I slowly and dramatically flipped the bird at a classmate in the middle of my big presentation and the prof couldn’t even get mad about it because i had good reason
that theater teacher who still wears a kilt every day getting a tandem bicycle for no discernible reason
“It’s the oboe… of love.”
the Numa Numa song echoing across campus on a Monday afternoon like the ghosts of memes past
that time I’m 80% sure someone got a blowjob in the bathroom stall while I was taking a shower. It was 9:30 pm on a Thursday.
me to my friend with 3 stitches in his arm: “please be more careful on future midnight cheese runs”
the heated discussion between some of the music majors in the row in front of me before a faculty concert on the best butts in the department
actually this would be a good time to mention that some of the music business majors put together one of those Sexy Guys calendars (you know the kind, usually featuring firefighters and/or puppies) made up of the Hottest Guys™ within the music dept. I’m will waiting to find out where I can order one because I want to laugh at them all.
my music appreciation prof: “Using similes with toddlers is wild, I tell you. I was sick over break and told me 3 year old that I felt like I had been hit by a truck, and he asked me what color it was.”
this conversation I had with a wind player
“Why are you calling [the oboe professor] Bilbro Baggins?”
“Because we realized that the mocking name we used to call him had the same number of syllables as Bilbro Baggins, and he seems to respond to Bilbro even worse than to Obro.”
the tenors trying desperately to sing a bass part from a YouTube clip of an opera and failing miserably
the day of a big concert
“And I have to go to goddamn Portland this weekend!”
“The goddamn one!”
“…I meant which coast but yeah, okay.”
that Eastern European guy who just… shows up sometimes in front of the UC to sell overpriced posters
“Wow, you look really nice today! I like your leggings!”
“Thanks I ran out of clean pants this morning.”
“If you’re going to whistle something in this [the music] building, I’m gonna have to request something more original than Vivaldi’s Spring.”
“The art majors are trying to burn down the soccer field.”
LGBT Prof: “Can you guys rec me some modern gay songs because all of my gay songs are from the 70s and 80s.”
Also LGBT Prof: “I’ve got sixty years of lesbian exes coming through for me, and most of them aren’t even my exes, actually.”
overheard in the library: “The gender neutral term for sugar daddy is glucose guardian.”
LGBT Prof brought in rainbow goldfish on the last day and the entire class cheered
“Shakespeare was a punk-ass bitch and, as an English major, I feel it is well within my rights to say that whenever I damn well please.”
I almost walked straight into a pole during finals week because I was falling asleep while walking. Don’t let the internet make you think sleep deprivation is cool and trendy, kids.
“Okay, so while you guys are taking the final, I’ll be up here on my computer. It’s gonna look like I’m writing comments on reports, but really I’m just surfing the web.”
Theres a special magic in hand made fabric items. Handmade items in general, yes, but specifically fabric items.
There are two aspects to this. One is the level of relationship between the artist and the recipient. The knitted beanie purchased off Etsy is going to be nowhere near as powerful as the Fair Isle sweater your grandmother made specifically for you.
The other is the level of involvement of the artist. The more involved the artist is in the creation, the more powerful it is. That quilt made from store bought fabric, pieced together and quilted with protection symbols, it will keep you safe. The gloves whose yarn came from sheep you raised, whose dye came from berries picked from plants you tended and nourished, sheared and cleaned and dyed and spun and knitted by your hands, those will save your life.
Textile art majors come to the school knowing the basics of their craft. They can knit a sweater, or sew a dress, or started with those little bracelet looms and now are never found without some sort of weaving project. They come, because they want more. The history of the art, the depth and fullness of it. They come because they want to be fashion designers, or because they want to be conservators at museums. They come, with their portable sewing machines and card tables to stand them on, with their knitting needles and crochet hooks, their looms and embroidery hoops and infinite boxes of fabric, fiber, yarn, threads and notions, pins and sewing needles, measuring tapes and rulers. Their bags are full of pattern books and their rooms are cluttered with their projects.
They’ll go on, those that succeed, to be the top of their fields, whatever they choose to do. They’ll credit their blessings on their time at Elsewhere, the lessons they learned and the influences they found.
Items made at Elsewhere have a special power. While all handmade items absorb some of the emotion and intentions the artist has while creating it, items made at Elsewhere take those feelings and make them magical. This can be a blessing, or a curse. There is a tradition of burning projects that frustrate too much. Every Freshman is shocked and appalled when, at the new moon, all the older textile majors gather together to burn any project that is causing them problems or resulting in negative feelings. They learn, after their first or second frustrating project causes them such discomfort after they make it that they can’t actually use the thing.
The professors prioritize quality over quantity for a reason. New projects are always assigned at the start of the waxing moon, and due before the new moon. They have a special form for projects that have to be redone because they were burned. They will provide the materials and time to make up the projects, but only three times. Some will offer deals for a fourth.
Gifts are a mixed blessing.
That one sophmore that knits six pairs of socks every weekend? She’s avoiding calls from her parents and they’re full of her anxiety. The one person that wore them ended up running like the hunt was after them until they collapsed sobbing in the quad. Now, we accept her gifts, and put them away. They’re be useful for trade with the Folk.
The boy from the equatorial country who weaves those lovely blankets? Only use them in the depths of winter, or you’ll roast. Take the blanket with you if you have to go out in the deep snowy areas for ANY reason. They’ll keep you warm and dry. It may look as light as your sheets, but he started making them in his first winter here, when he thought he’d freeze to death for sure. Now he jokes that they’re a brilliant ice breaker.
The person that ignored the proverbial ‘boyfriend curse,’ made xir boyfriend a sweater, then begged him to wear it. Nobody knows exactly what happened to him, but xe is so much happier now, since he disappeared.
There are legacy students here, whose tools came down from their parents and grandparents, you’ll know them by their iron needles and hooks, and the runes carved in their old looking looms and hoops. The items they make are often high quality, even as freshmen, and they know the ways of trading. We’ve all learned to look for them when having an issue with a project, they have a way of getting to the heart of it and guiding us through. Trades with them will be dear, but what you get will be worth it.
The senior project is a group affair. Every senior contributes something they’ve made. The fabric is made by students talented with the loom, the lace by the best crocheter in the class. Every piece is made by students, from the earliest bud of cotton or flax, the hand raised lambs, goats, rabbits or alpacas, to the final glass bead. Each year the product is different, but the ritual is the same. At the final full moon before graduation, the product is displayed on the quad, surrounded with flowers and hand made accessories. Nobody knows what happens to it after that. It disappears before dawn, and the artists go out in the world to make their fortunes. Only once has the project met the light of the morning sun, and that class never saw any success.
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron) Characters: Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron), Pidge (Voltron) Additional Tags: KLangst Week 2017, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Touch-Starved Keith, pure-hearted Lance, Like seriously he’s the best, Trauma Recovery, major fluff, Slow Burn, Getting Together, face masks and nail polish, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Coran and Allura are only mentioned sorry, Tenderness Summary:
Keith is trying to make himself smaller, to bury his head deeper in his knees, and Lance’s heart freezes in his chest. Anger dissipating like an exploded firework, Lance lets his hand fall limply to his side, mind blurring with static. When he tries to speak, nothing comes out but a choked noise, so he tries again.
“Keith,” he breathes. “Keith I’m not going to hurt you.”
(Keith has an abusive past, but with time and care Lance helps him become accustomed to positive touch.)
‘Mmmm…cabbage…cabbage…’ Qrow thought, searching for one of the many ingredients on Summer’s errand list at Patch’s farmer’s market.
“I’m so sorry to ask you to do this, baby, since you just got back last night, and if I could go by myself I would, but–”
“Short-Stack, calm down! Don’t worry! It’ll give me a good excuse to look for some maintenance supplies and dust cartridges for myself. Besides, you could use a break from the girls.” He winked, grabbing his wallet and shoving it into his back pocket.
“Thank you so much, Qrow. This way I can get things cleaned up and have the house in order! It really hasn’t been, since…” Summer trailed off, glancing over to Taiyang, and formerly Raven’s, door. Her eyelids heavily hung on her face, and Qrow could see dark circles starting to show on her face.
An ache grew in his heart, feeling the crushing absence of his twin sister. It had been three months, and his brother-in-law still refused to come out of his room, leaving Yang in the care of Qrow’s wife, Summer. Muddles, negative emotions began to fester in his chest. How Raven could just abandon poor, sweet Yang and her husband was beyond him. Matters were only made more stressful with Qrow and Summer’s own offspring, Ruby, coming into the world. He tried not to blame Tai, but when he entrusted his ‘Short-Stack’s safety into the blond huntsman’s hands, along with his tiny ‘Petal’, a sense of regret and hate resided in his chest. His family was in the hands of his depressed, recluse of a brother-in-law, and though he sympathized with him, had grown increasingly bitter towards him in the last few weeks.
Two children for a new mother was just too much to handle by herself, especially a ball of energy like Yang, and Summer’s frantic exhaustion was the evidence for it. Blinking back his hurt feelings and building anger, he simply stroked Summer’s head and allowed her silky hair to run along his palm. She moaned in response to his touch and leaned her head against his chest.
“Feels good…” She mewed, which elicited a chuckle to rumble against her head.
“Well, we will be back in a few hours. Clean the house, and then why don’t you relax? Take a nap.” He leaned in closer to her, voice growing husky and deep, “Then maybe we can share a warm, stress-relieving bath tonight.”
Summer whipped her head to meet illuminated, maroon eyes and a crooked smile; his crooked smile. Her cheeks flushed and a similar smirk laced her lips in response.
Planting a quick kiss against her soft lips, Qrow walked over to Ruby’s crib and picked up his sleepy, quiet daughter. Her feathery, thick hair brushed up against his neck, tickling him slightly. Qrow wondered if she would keep her feathery hair, a trait from her father, or if it would turn to silk like mommy.
“Yang,” Summer called. ‘Go with your uncle to help him with the errands, okay sweetie?’
A thunderous clap of feet against hardwood raced toward Summer. Turning the corner into Summer and Qrow’s bedroom, Yang jumped up and down to see her Uncle.
“WE GO OUT?” She hollered, excited to leave the house she had been cooped up in for the past week.
In unison, Summer and Qrow put a finger to their lips and shushed the loud child. Yang cupped her mouth in response. Qrow giggled at her, his adorable little firecracker of a niece, whose hair was as blonde as Tai’s and yet ever wild, like her mother’s. She was the best blend of the two.
“Yes, sweetie,” Qrow nodded, “you have to use your inside voices around Ruby, though, Yang. She’s sleeping right now.”
Yang nodded, mouth still covered by her hands. Together, the trio left the house, with Yang leading the way in a display of cartwheels, jumps, and “UNCW QWOW! WOOK! WOOK WUH I CAN DO!”
‘Ah, there it is.’ Final item on the grocery list done, Qrow heard a loud yawn come from his shins as he payed for Summer’s dinner ingredients. He turned to see his niece leaning up against a wooden beam that held the vegetable stand up.
A half-lidded, groggy face turned up to him, only yawning again in response. Shifting her weight, Yang threw herself against his leg, tugging on his pants.
“No more. No more walking. Sleepy.” The little three year old had done spectacular while on their outing, and Qrow knew that soon after the exhaustion would come a tantrum. Yang and tantrums usually caused major destruction, breaking and burning everything within a 5 mile radius.
Shuffling his bag, he leaned down to be level with Yang. “You’re doing great, Firecracker. We need to pick up just a few more items. How about I carry you and you can take a nap like Ruby?” The infant SEW shifted in Qrow’s arms, nuzzling under his chin and seemingly trying to get even closer to her Dad. Yang eyed Ruby, starting to look jealous of all the attention she realized the little baby was getting, and furiously nodded her head.
“UP!” She bounced on her heels, and mid bounce, Qrow caught her. A giggle escaped the girls lips as she snuggled up against her uncles chest. Throwing her arms around his neck and wiggling her legs, she found a comfy position, and cued Qrow that he could pick his bag of food back up, and continue to shop.
Looking at his list, his legs began taking him towards the weapons shop. A few new gears and some dust cartridges would be coming home with him, along with some more dust ammunition for his wife.
Feeling both daughter and niece rub their faces against his neck, Qrow’s heart warmed, overjoyed and feeling very blessed for his tiny, perfect family.
I will color this sometime tomorrow. For right now, it is just a line art.
As always, Ruby clings to Daddy’s necklace. I haven’t done a piece with Ruby, Yang, and Qrow in a few weeks, so I hope you all enjoy this!
You are free to color this if you like. Just please give me credit.
*Hide Aways “You keep - ow! - ace bandages inside your jacket?” Felicity is mind-boggled by this. “Like - inside?”“Yes,” Oliver says calmly, like this is no big deal at all, like it’s totally normal for somebody to sew medical supplies into custom-made Italian businesswear, like everybody does it and Felicity is the one who’s weird for questioning it.
Write It RightFelicity leaves Oliver messages by writing on his arm, and he starts doing the same to her.
Challenges Made, Promises KeptWhen Felicity issues Oliver a challenge that includes her on his back while doing push-ups, it becomes a daily moment for the two and their friendship strengthens because of it.Otherwise known as the “Felicity sits on Oliver’s back while he does push-ups” fic
Not Just a Close Shave While at a gala, Isabel Rochev notices a speck of blood on Oliver’s face, Felicity steps in to cover and finds out that Oliver might not be as okay as they all think.
I Woke Up Like ThisThe morning after the night before. Felicity isn’t feeling flawless. Adult content (sexytimes).
Tight Spot and a Hard Place While on an undercover mission, Oliver and Felicity find themselves in a tight spot. Oliver is forced to become suddenly very aware of his attraction to his beautiful little IT girl. A humorous one-shot.
Flashback Thanks to The Flash, some visitors from the Future help to give Oliver a new perspective on some things. Season 3, humorous.
Not So Platonic Feelings Felicity has a horrible migraine, Oliver knows how to help. But will he be able to keep his feelings in check?
Lean on Me Post Flash 1x08. Felicity helps take care of injured Oliver after his fight with Barry. Aka they are so married and they don’t even know it
*Forever Is Composed Of NowsOliver & Felicity future toddler shows up because the future is to dangerous for her in season 2. THE BEST fanfic I have ever read. Words can not describe how awesome this is, just read it, even if you hate future fics give it a try.
*Monsters in the DarkLets just say I have re-read this more than any other fic ever. Felicity has the ability to see guardians, spirits that protect the majority of people. Some guardians talk, others don’t. Oliver Queen’s is a sassy, chatty beast. She starts helping Oliver, forming Team Arrow, and getting drawn into the pull that is Hurricane Oliver.
Tango After a mission goes wrong Felicity and the team have to deal with the ramifications, and how to handle her going undercover once again. Oliver tangos, enough said.
What Happens In Russia…When Diggle disappears, Oliver and Felicity travel to Russia to track him down. But their trip is interrupted by the presence of Isabel Rochev, and things do not go as planned. What happens in Russia doesn’t always stay in Russia…
Technical Assistance Felicity Smoak swore she’d provide technical assistance to all who need it. She’s just not prepared for her newest client.A story that shows another way Felicity and Oliver could have met. Major slow burn.
What happened in Vegas…It’s all fun and games until you wake up hung-over and married to a stranger. Five years ago Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak made a drunken mistake that could never be corrected. After years on a hellish island he comes back as a man on a mission only to find out that what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas. (Season One Rewrite)
The OfferThe evidence was stacked against her. The murder of her boyfriend was a crime that she didn’t commit, but the judge and jury didn’t see it that way. Felicity was preparing herself for the guilty verdict and a life in prison. Except that the night before her final trial, a masked stranger offers her another option. The opportunity to disappear, live a life in the shadows. A chance to get justice for others, justice that wasn’t awarded to her.
Remove All Doubt“Really shouldn’t that list have been titled ‘Oliver Queen’s Top 5 Ways To Turn You On?”When a group of Oliver’s former flames decide to spill the illicit details of his private life, Felicity cleans up the mess but not before her babbling inadvertently lays down a challenge.
Times Like These A man from Felicity’s past she never thought she’d see again suddenly appears in Starling City, bringing with him memories she’d rather keep forgotten, and a new threat. Felicity is Kidnapped Fic.
Fifty Bucks SaysWhen Oliver Queen lets Felicity Smoak move in as his platonic roommate, Tommy, Thea and Digg don’t believe for a second it’ll last. So of course they’re going to try and make money off of it.
Although I can’t promise you will love all these fic’s as much as I have, I sincerely encourage you to at least try the ones with a * star next to them, they will give you all the feels, and they are still my favorite fics of all time :) Check out my blog if you would like & please send me recommendations for more fics :) @overwatchsmoakk
I love Major Edmund Hewlett with all my tiny little heart, you guys. This dork needed an aesthetic of his own and I wanted to give it to him. Again, in the modern AU and dedicated to Jude ( @guiltyphandiot ) who plays the best Edmund in the whole world (other than Burn, obvs). Hope you like it, babe!
If you like fantasy then this story is perfect. It’s major slow burn Klance, but it’s worth every minute. Lance is a magician and Keith is Galra and they pretty much must learn to deal with each other. Everyone has a part in this tale and everyone is developed so well.
Art fic! The artwork really gives the story a great visually view. Keith and Lance learn about each other and slowly grow closer. They face lots of adorable moments together and serious situations, but each one brings them closer.
Good Klance, but also some Lancelot. If you are comfortable there are a few dark themes in this story. All tags are in the fic, so read before going in. It’s a really good story and we get to see Keith fight for Lance and lots of Langst.