major stoner no no

in stories featuring aliens, they’re always like “on my planet this never happens!” or “in my culture, this differs from your human culture.” and that’s neat and all because i like worldbuilding and all that jazz but wouldn’t it be fun if they just. couldn’t do that?

i want a story where humans encounter an alien who frustrates them because they don’t know enough to tell them anything concrete

like humans will ask “tell us about politics in your planet!” and the alien’s all “uh… hold on it’s been a while since i took gov. um….”

“what sorts of plants grow on your planet?”

“i dunno i grew up in the suburbs. they’re like… purple? idk what you want me to say”

“tell us about the culture on your planet!”

“do you have any idea how many fucking countries are back home, i don’t even know where to begin”

“your planet is obviously much more scientifically and technologically advanced than ours. is it possible for you to enlighten us on certain matters concerning space travel, or would that be a form of interference you must avoid?”

“naw it’s cool, it’s just that, um, i’m a philosophy major”

Smoking with sincerely three

A/n: I may or may not’ve come up with this idea while smoking… I’ll let y'all be the judge of that

Warnings: lotsa weed, sex mention

Eggrag hasbeen

- has not smoked a day in his life
- Barley knows what weed is
- He knew you smoked and lowkey wanted to try it becuase he heard it was good for anxiety
- But he didn’t know how to bring it up
- But thankfully you offer him some one day
- It went a lil something like this
- “Hey ev, you can totally say no, but do you want to smoke-”
- “YES OH MY GOD”
- You chuckled at his response and grabbed your stash from your room
- You get yourselves situated outside and light up
- You take a puff then pass it to him
- He takes the joint and just looks at you before just INHALING A TON OF SMOKE
- He coughs it all out and is just dying
- You took the joint and gave him some water
- You literally have to guide him through how to smoke
- After a few more tries he gets the hang of it
- He gets this really big dopey look on his face
- High Evan is so cute omg
- He giggles at everything and does the lil nose scrunch
- Just
- Adorable
- He starts to smoke with you quite a bit
- And every time he offers to pay for it
- Gets kinda paranoid that Heidi is gonna catch him smelling like weed so he DOUSES himself in perfume
- And keeps a spare pair of clothes at ur place
- Also febreazes his whole house just to be safe
- But he really loves smoking with you
- It’s like you twos lil special time together

J-rod cleanman

- ok he’s smoked like once
- It was out of a bong at a party and he ended up burning the back of his throat so bad
- But he brags about it so much
- “Ok mr. Big shot how about you come over to mine tonight and we can smoke?”
- His face instantly drops
- Along with his cocky demeanor
- “Ye-yeah sure.”
- He comes over and you have your stuff all set out
- He takes one look at your bong and looks like he’s gonna shit himself
- “Is there a problem jer?”
- He shakes his head and sits down
- You start off with a joint
- You take a puff and pass it along to him
- He takes a puff and tries to not cough
- After a while he gets the hang of it
- And starts attempting to do smoke tricks
- Like he tried to do the o’s and he just ended up looking like an asshole
- You were both pretty high at this point so you both think it’s fucking hilarious
- Once you finish the joint you start loading up your bong
- Even tho Jared’s high he’s still terrified of the bong
- It’s extremely noticeable
- “J if you don’t want to smoke anymore we don’t have t-”
- “I DONT WANT TO BURN THE BACK OF MY THROAT.”
- You got really confused and he explained what happened
- “If you don’t inhale it all like an asshole you won’t burn the back of your throat.”
- He nodded and you continued
- You handed him the bong and reassured him
- He took a hit without a problem
- It was a proud moment for both of you
- Towards the end he started to get a lil cocky and burned his throat a lil
- But nothing too major
- Lowkey became a stoner kid after that
- He bought a vape too
- (His favorite flavor is cotton candy but shhh)
- He started wearing those stoner ponchos to school just to emphasize that he smokes
- What a loser

Connor metamorphosis

- weed master™
- Like really knows his shit
- “(Y/n) do you want, blue dream, white rhino, harlequ-”
- “I- I just want to get high con.”
- In turn he knows which strains not to smoke Bc he knows how he’ll react to them
- “No, I can’t smoke sativa, last time I did i punched a hole in my wall.”
- Knows If your getting ripped off or not and will FIGHT
- Sometimes he’ll get a strain Bc he knows it makes him horny
- Some guud sex ensues
- When Connors high he gets deep as fuck
- “What color are mirrors?”
- “Do you think hamsters get anxiety?”
- “If the universe is infinite then there’s a galaxy where sausage party is real.”
- Weird shit
- MAD munchies
- Has/will/can eat an entire box of Pizza Hut pizza
- Will also chug an entire liter of root beer
- Definitely watches bad comedy movies and dies of laughter
- His favorite movie to watch is white chicks he thinks it’s comedy gold
- Not really weed related but he has a vape but just never uses it?
- It’s just kinda there
- It’s one of those like real nice sleek ones too
- It’s practically untouched
- Idk
- He loves to hot box in his car
- It gets him so fucking high dear god
- He’d never drive while high tho
- He knows better
- This boy can roll a joint in 2 seconds flat
- He prefers joints over bowls Bc he doesn’t have to keep lighting them
- Just more convenient
- He’s the master at covering the smell keeps febreaze in his car at all times
- And bought axe Bc it’s so fucking strong
- He smells like Jared after a smoke sesh tbh

Some Uni/College AUs in light of the new vid:

  • Phil works at the campus bookshop, Dan works at the cafe across from it
  • Angsty Freshman!Dan and Junior Life-of-the-Party!Phil as roommates
  • Dan and Phil as the guys that make out at all the frat parties while they’re blackout drunk
  • Dan and Phil meet at a fraternity hazing, initiation involves downing 6 cans of beer,  Turkish oil wrestling, and streaking naked across campus while being chased by frat brothers with paintball guns. Dan and Phil team up, bond over their suffering, and wind up making out while hiding in the woods together. They don’t make it in the frat but they find something much more valuable in each other
  • Dan as the strict dorm mom that everyone hates, Phil as the bassist transfer student that throws parties at 2am
  • Dan and Phil as stoner Philosophy majors learning how to make weed brownies together to pay off student debt
  • Dan as the guy that just set pasta on fire, Phil as “The only person around here who knows how to use a fire extinguisher, goddamnit,”
  • Phil wants to be a director, Dan’s a theatre nerd, they’re both in Drama and they get put in charge of the school’s adaption of “The Book of Mormon”
  • The idea of Dan and Phil in college sports is wayyyyy too ooc but Dan as a waterboy and Phil as an announcer works
  • Phil as a gender studies professor and Dan as an immature dickhead who makes inappropriate jokes every .5 seconds
  • Dan and Phil as dorky youtubers but nobody knows why they carry cameras around and they don’t have any friends so everyone just assumes they’re filming kinky sex behind closed doors (maybe they are)
  • Dan gets roofied at a party and Phil makes sure he is safe and alright
  • Phil as Dan’s sugar daddy who feeds and lodges him (and lets him use his washer) throughout law school
  • Dan and Phil in rivaling colleges
  • Phil as the captain of the frat Dan is trying to get into
  • Dan and Phil “doing laundry” together but really they’re just fucking
No okay but I was thinking about it and college/university!5sos is a dream

-Luke is a freshman who’s taking all advanced classes bc he’s so fucking smart and he parties all the time and rarely shows up to class but still aces all the tests
-Sophomores Calum and Michael are high school friends
-Calum got there on a football (soccer???) scholarship and he’s really popular with everybody like the team and the cheerleaders and everybody likes him also he’s fucking good at football and he has a chance to get into the big leagues
-Michael hated high school and he only hates college a little bit less because no parents and more alcohol but he really wants to be a musician and go to LA and shit but his parents won’t pay for it until he graduates and he’s shit at schoolwork so he’s having a hard time with that
-And Ashton is like the student/teacher type professor’s assistant bc he’s a senior but he’s an art major who sells his art to pay his way through school
-And they meet up kinda like the breakfast club??? Like there’s this crazy party and the cops get called and Michael and Calum get busted for vandalizing/distraction of school property and Luke gets busted for under aged drinking and Ashton is the one put in charge of “”“detention”“” even though I’m pretty sure there isn’t detention in college but it’s something like that
-And Michael brings pot to “detention” bc Calum is gonna be there and they’re bff hooligans so they all get high and talk about life and they find out that Ashton had a shit home life and he wants to make art and sell it to pay back his mom for everything she did for him and his siblings and michael’s a rich only child but he feels smothered by his parents and that’s part of the reason he wants to leave but he’s currently failing math and he’s so so soooo worried that he’s gonna flunk out and not be able to go to LA to make music (but then Luke agrees to tutor him in exchange for weed or whatever) and Calum talks about how football is fun and all but he really just wants to be a writer and he’s currently undecided on his major but he thinks he wants it to be English/literature and Luke is just really lonely like he parties all the time and drinks and smokes and he gets good grades but he’s highkey lonely bc all of his friends are shitty and only good for getting fucked up with
-And by the time “"detention”“ is over they decide to head back to Ashton’s little apartment and hang out and play video games and drink and stuff bc ash is the only one who can legally buy alcohol
-And through the course of the next semester they all become really good friends and Luke is tutoring Michael but he does it for free now because one night after Michael got a B+ on an exam that he would have failed without Luke, they got high and sat on the roof of one of the buildings and Michael played Luke one of his songs and it was really really good and luke decides that he deserves the chance to chase his dream
-And all the boys go to the last football game of the season to support Calum and they make signs and Michael paints his chest and of course the team wins and Calum scores the winning goal and everybody rushes the field and the three of them lift Calum up but it’s really hard and they end up falling into a giggling heap on the ground and then the team goes to the championship and they win and a scout from Manchester or whatever is there and talks to Calum about training with their team that summer but Calum declines it since he’s finally decided his major and that night he cries about it in he and Michael’s dorm room and so Michael forces him to pull himself together and they go out drinking with Luke and Ashton to try to cheer him up and it works and now that he’s not playing football or training during the off season calum starts going to writer’s workshops and starts writing short stories and spends a lot of time in the library
-And Ashton has this small art show type thing and begs the guys to come even though he knows it isn’t their cup of tea and it’s on a Friday fucking night but they go obviously even though Michael is dying of boredom but Calum actually enjoys it and he’s scribbling down things in the little journal he always carries around bc the art is giving him inspiration and Luke tries his best to appreciate it but he and Michael just end up getting high in the alley behind the building and coming back inside and laughing at all the art and "obviously that’s not a dick Michael I think it’s supposed to be a tree” “but if you turn your head this way and squint your eyes….” And Ashton is accepting donations so he can rent a studio downtown and he doesn’t get a lot of money that night, only about a third of what he needs but the next morning when he goes to check his mail he finds a blank envelope with a check inside for exactly the amount he needs to cover the rest and there’s no note or anything so he grabs his bike and races to Michael and calum’ dorm where Luke crashed that night and he bangs on the door and it’s like 9am on a Saturday and He bangs on the door and after a few moments of shuffling noises and angry groans about who’s going to get up and get the door it finally opens and calum’ standing there and his hair looks like a poodle but Ashton is shaking his shoulders yelling “someone gave me a check! I have enough to rent out a studio for at least a month!!!!” And Calum smiles sleepily and bro hugs him but Ashton is squeezing him tightly and cal just mumbles “congrats buddy m'so happy for ya” and while Ashton is going on about the studio and Calum is trying to keep his eyes open, inside the room Luke’s like “holy shit that was a lot of money. I can’t believe someone did that.” And Michael just shrugs and is like “it wasn’t /that/ much” all nonchalant and Luke looks at him with wide eyes and he’s like “you???? What???” And Michael swears him to secrecy bc he doesn’t want his punk rock image being destroyed but when it comes down to it he’d do anything for his friends and maybe he told his parents it was for textbooks but they’ll never find out so its whatever
-And at the end of the year Michael passes all of his classes with flying colors, Luke is less of a party animal and is pretty laid back now and Michael is teaching him how to play guitar, one of cal’s short stories is getting published, and Ashton is making so much art he has to move into a bigger studio and he can now because people are actually buying it
-And so Ashton graduates and moves out of his little apartment and into a bigger apartment, one with a studio built in upstairs and enough room for the other 3 boys to move in And it’s a great apartment and they have parties all the time thanks to Luke who is a seasoned expert on which cups work best for beer pong and you should always expect twice as many people as you invite to show up
-And so an unlikely group of boys become brothers over the course of a few months and once Luke graduates they all fly over to LA because Michael just got signed to a record label and Calum is helping him write songs and he promised Ashton he could design the album artwork and Luke feels irrelevant sometimes but Michael never fails to remind him that he would have never made it this far without him

I headcanon Fidds was a major hippie and stoner back in his early years of college. Ford’s only smoking weed here because Fiddleford talked him into it XD. 

Keep reading

ooc; hello new friends! caitee here bringing you my trash baby kwon hoetaek. they’re 22, a college junior, visual arts major, and second in command of the stoners. more about them under the cut but if you want their full bio click here, and here is their profile. also keep an eye on my plots page, I’ll be posting some stuff up on there soon. alternatively, just like this post or come hit me up if you want to plot!

Keep reading

College Tips

// sneak peek: “I heard my favorite customer was in today, so I came to bring her order.” Y/N blushed, smiling as Jihoon placed the sandwich on the table in front of her. He turned to Seungcheol, and his smile faded almost instantly, soon following a grim press of his lips as he carelessly placed his order on the table. “Is there anything else I can get you guys?” Jihoon asked, turning to look at Y/N as he completely ignored Seungcheol.

// seungcheol x reader x jihoon

// word count: 1559


  College was hard. It was hard, and everything was way more difficult and planned out than it really had to be, and, no matter how hard, Y/N tried, it seemed like she could never raise her head above the ever rising water to take a deep breath.

  But it was times like this when she got a break. Times like this when she could barely raise her nose above the suffocating ocean, and take in an intoxicating inhale of air. Because it was times like this when Y/N felt free. It was times like this when she wasn’t drowning.

  The air was cool with the spring weather, and the sun just poking slivers of light through white clouds. And she stood there, in the middle of the college campus, arms extended, and feeling absolutely free. Nobody turned to look at her as they walked past.

  College Tip #1: Nobody cares.

  Y/N smiled to herself, just breathing. She had just come out of a rather stressful class, and the guy next to her was some idiot who could barely introduce himself by the name of Soonyoung through giggling whispers. He’d stolen her notes countless times to doodle zoo animals on them, and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t concentrate with a four year old next to her.

  Y/N sighed. This was just exactly what she needed.

  “Enjoying yourself?” Y/N opened her eyes at the voice, and smiled when she saw just who she wanted standing only a few feet away. There was Seungcheol, a good guy she’d come to meet only a couple days into her sophomore year.

  College Tip #2: Find friends. Fast.

  “Yes, actually.” Y/N retorted, crossing her arms as Seungcheol stepped closer, hands deep in his pockets. He was a law major - something Y/N always found incredibly impressive. “Thank you very much.” She pipped in spite just to irk Seungcheol. He snorted, shrugging his shoulders.

  “You looked like one of the stoner dance majors.” Y/N feigned offense, taking her time to gather her things in her arms before smacking Seungcheol on the shoulder - something that had him complaining rather fakely.

  “Excuse you, but they have talent.” She defended. He nodded, already walking away, and Y/N just followed. It was customary for the both of them to go out for lunch or a drink around this time. It’d become a tradition since the first time Y/N had met Seungcheol, and though she was wary about going out with a boy younger than her (even though it was, undoubtedly, by one year), he’d actually turned out to be pretty kind.

  “Yeah, right.” Seungcheol replied sarcastically. Okay, so he was kind when he wasn’t teasing her. Y/N scoffed, rolling her eyes, and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear which had Seungcheol weak at the knees. It was no secret he was head over heels for Y/N, and there had been plenty of times when he’d wanted to ask her out on an actual date.

  College Tip #3: Don’t wait until it’s too late.

  “Hey, do you think we can eat at the sandwich place Jihoon works at?” Y/N asked hopefully. “I haven’t seen him since last night, and I’m pretty worried. Jihoon usually visits me in the mornings, but he didn’t today.” She frowned, and Seungcheol rolled his eyes. It was also no secret that Lee Jihoon, basically the most successful student on campus, was also head over heels for Y/N. Seungcheol usually dismissed the idea of the two ever becoming a couple due to the fact that he was two years younger than Y/N, but it always worried him how much she would talk about him.

  “I mean… I guess?” Seungcheol mumbled, and Y/N grinned. She turned to him, and placed a quick peck on his cheek, leaving his face a blooming red.

  “Thanks, Cheol!”


  The sandwich shop was loud, and the call for next in line had to be repeated three times before Y/N and Seungcheol finally heard, and moved forward. They ordered, received a number, and moved to sit at a booth near the window.

   Y/N slid into the seat across from Seungcheol, and they’d barely exchanged brief descriptions of their days when someone had cleared their throat. Y/N looked up, and Jihoon was standing there, a black apron tied around his waist. He wore a white shirt that had the first couple buttons undone, sleeves rolled up. And there was a smile on his face.

  “I heard my favorite customer was in today, so I came to bring her order.” Y/N blushed, smiling as Jihoon placed the sandwich on the table in front of her. He turned to Seungcheol, and his smile faded almost instantly, soon following a grim press of his lips as he carelessly placed his order on the table. “Is there anything else I can get you guys?” Jihoon asked, turning to look at Y/N as he completely ignored Seungcheol.

  “You know, Y/N,” Seungcheol spoke up, mentally rolling his eyes at Jihoon’s actions. “You should really try the peanut butter pumpkin cookies here. Chan’s told me all about them.” She politely smiled, nodding at Jihoon.

  “Alright,” Y/N tried. “I guess I’ll have a bag of those.” Jihoon raised his eyebrow at her, turning to glare at Seungcheol if only for a split second before looking back to Y/N. Jihoon was only 19, but he certainly did not care how old Seungcheol was considering his actions - and if he did, he chose to ignore it.

  “Are you sure?” Jihoon asked, turning to Y/N. “Maybe you want something else… Like a muffin? We have this new banana muffin that you would love.” She hummed, thinking about the two options.

  College Tip #4: Make up your mind.

  “Y/N already decided, Lee.” Seungcheol spoke up, voice firm and scoffing, and she’d have to remember later to scold him for being so rude. “She wants peanut butter pumpkin cookies. Right, Y/N?” She opened her mouth to speak, and no sooner was she interrupted by Jihoon.

  “Y/N can always change her mind, Seungcheol. She’s a grown woman. She has the right to choose what she wants for herself.” Seungcheol shrugged, leaning back in his seat.

  “Maybe. But I’d say it’s pretty obvious that Y/N prefers the cookies over the muffin.” Jihoon rolled his eyes, snorting, and he crossed his arms over his chest.

  “Right, and you’d know that how, Choi? You don’t know what Y/N wants. For all you know, she might really be thinking about the banana muffin right now. She might hate peanut butter pumpkin cookies.” Y/N bit her bottom lip. She got the sudden feeling this wasn’t about cookies or muffins anymore.

  “You don’t know, Y/N.” Jihoon continued. “You’re not the one who constantly wakes up early every single day, and visits her dorm just to say good morning and give her something that reminded you of her. You’re not the one who picks flowers for her, and writes songs for her. You’re not the one who conducts orchestral performances for her.” Y/N smiled to herself. She remembered those special days. Jihoon had only done it three times, but as a major in conducting and as conductor of the school orchestra, he’d had the orchestra play just for her.

  “No, I’m not.” Seungcheol replied, and Y/N noticed the way his arms tensed. “But I’m the one who texts her every day just to keep her company. I’m the one who calls her when she gets home from anywhere just to make sure she’s okay. I’m the one who takes her out every afternoon, and has been doing it for the past two years. Have you been the one to do all that, Jihoon?”

  “I can be.” Jihoon’s voice was sharp, and his jaw set with anger. Y/N sighed, clasping her hands together in her lap as she stared at the table.

  “Y/N wants the peanut butter pumpkin cookies.” Seungcheol’s tone was low and firm, and he turned to look at her. “Right, Y/N? Tell him you know what you want.” Y/N looked up to meet Jihoon’s eyes, and they were sad - pleading. Never before had she seen Jihoon look at her like that, and her heart ached.

  “I…” She trailed off, stuttering - stumbling - for words. “I know what I want.” Y/N had spoken before she’d really given herself permission to, and she soon found herself regretting her words. Seungcheol smirked to himself, reaching over the table as he gently took Y/N’s hand in his. He brushed his thumb over her knuckles.

  “Great.” He murmured, staring at Jihoon. “Then, Y/N will have peanut butter pumpkin cookies.” And Jihoon just nodded, his head bowed as he stared at the floor. He said nothing as he walked away, and Y/N watched him go, observing his steps before he’d gotten lost in the crowd of busy college students. She bit her lip. Later, a different waiter would come to their table with the cookies, and when Y/N would ask where Jihoon was, he’d simply reply with, “He left. Didn’t look too good.”

  College Tip #5: You never get what you want.

I need to talk about Major Stoner Bilbo and his two Stoner friends Bofur and Ori who all get high as fuck, eat cupcakes, and do dramatic readings of bad romance novels. 

Enter Thorin, Nori, and Dwalin, who are serious hunks and Bilbo, Bofur, and Ori’s Friday nights now consist of them waxing slurred poetry about the hot business men who came into their regular cafe meeting spot.

Luhan; Reaction

OC tries to make luhan jealous cause he always has a poker face on
► 1200 words | scenario, fluff

Who would’ve thought that you’d resort to this and who would’ve thought that you’d choose Minseok for this out of all the people you could’ve chosen. Not that you didn’t trust Luhan or anything, you trusted him with your whole life. Your level of trust with him was to the point where if someone asked Luhan to put a bullet through your brain for a million dollars, you’d load up the gun with just one bullet, hand him the gun and direct to your head—because you know he would never pull the trigger even if your mind tried to doubt you—he would never do it. That’s how strong your trust was, how strong your love for one another was that… you would go to this extend to test it.

Well, it does sound wrong if you put it in this way but here’s another way.

He has a face of a statue, and literally, he does. He looks so perfectly sculpted, as if God had spent an awfully abundant amount of time in creating every curve, every wrinkle, every shape, every part of him that he appeared to perfect-like, it boggled your mind sometimes. However, with that being said, he has his moments where he doesn’t show any emotion at all—just like how a statue would but a statue has no choice, Luhan does.

It’s not like he does it all the time but he does it often enough for you to point it out. Though, you would not call it out directly so… who would’ve known that you’d actually take up Minseok’s idea of making him jealous. It’s either Minseok agrees thoroughly that Luhan is a major stoner or Minseok just wants to get a real kick in irritating his best friend—either way, you didn’t mind at all.

So here the two of you were, actually, seven including you in this practice room since the boys were practicing today and let’s just say that Minseok and you were not so subtle on dropping the shade. Even Yixing started chuckling when he noticed what you two were doing because he just knows how Luhan is like and how frustrating it must be to not get a reaction from someone you’d really want to get it from—Yixing has been there and done that. It’s just that he wasn’t Luhan’s girlfriend and he wasn’t able to crack Luhan in that kind of way.

Maybe you could, who knows?

“Did you see that movie?” Minseok asked, casually leaning closer than usual, his arm sneakier as he slid it around your shoulder. You were completely oblivious, blinking to Minseok with a soft, “What movie?”

Across the room sat Luhan and Yifan, running through the arrangements once more, correcting their pronunciations in Korean and it was just Luhan’s luck that it was a Korean song. Jongdae, Tao and Yixing were on the other corner, by the door as Jongdae ran through the lines with them, over and over again because Tao slurred too much but Yixing had more progress than the few in the room.

“Hey Min, could you help us out?” Yifan called over from across, nearly hollering but it seems like Yifan had to raise his voice a bit, bringing up Luhan’s curiosity to see what was taking Minseok so long when he’s literally just fifteen steps away. He had an eyebrow raised, lips still in a form of an ‘o’ as he was practicing a certain syllable but there was no lie that’s what he would’ve formed with his lips just registering what his eyes were looking at.

His friend, that arm around his girl—that wasn’t such a pretty sight but being the chilled guy he tried to be, he shrugged it off.

“Hey, stay here and wait for me, alright?” Minseok chuckled, ruffling your hair and you were left to huff at him, trying to at least kick him before he fully went away, “Eat a sock, Min!”

He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, “Only if you’d feed me—“ He caught the shoe you threw at him, “Ah, playing Cinderella?”

Yifan snorted, easily scanning through the act before he nudged Minseok by the shoulder once he was close enough, “Dude, help us out,”

“Ah, right,” Minseok said, placing your shoe in his other before he used his right hand to gently take the paper from Yifan’s hand, looking at the circles and red marks that were stained on the paper. Minseok’s teaching Yifan the tricks and the little details to take care of but Luhan’s not too far away from understanding, either. But what makes him skeptical is when Tao is coming to your side, pressing his cheek against yours just for a fucking selfie and he’s almost crushing the end of the paper he’s holding on.

“Dude…” Minseok breathes, and Yifan is looking at Luhan to note what’s up.

Then the three of them are staring ahead to where you are, laughing when Tao’s making funny faces with the aid of the camera and you’re out of breath to smile properly or process what’s going on. It only kicks in a few seconds later when you look up to see Luhan in front of you, a blank look on his face and he’s gotten rid of the paper and he’s holding his palm up.

You raise an eyebrow but place your hand in his so he pulls you up. He doesn’t forget that you’re a shoe missing because he steals it from Minseok’s hand and the both of you are out of the room. Yifan is laughing because of the way Minseok is cheering because finally, Luhan cracked.

The door closes and you realize you’re in another room with Luhan frowning at you, “What was that?”

You sit down and take your shoe, putting it back on before looking up to him when he’s looking down on you, “What was what?”

“Do I want to ask in detail?”

“That depends,” You reply, standing up and he’s making you sit back down and you don’t question why he’s exerting his strength in the first place, “Do you want to know?”

He catches the crack in your voice—then he smirks, “Were you trying to make me jealous?”

Well shit.

You swear that the redness on your cheeks are deepening and you’re clenching your fists in attempts of bluffing your way out of this but Luhan knows you’re a shitty liar.

“W-Well, no-not exactly—“

“Admit it,” He’s grinning, leaning down as he strokes your cheek with the back of his hand, “You wanted a reaction from me,”

You’re torn between running out of the room or possibly admitting it straight in his face because sometimes when you do, he doesn’t know what to—

“Maybe I did,”

“Here’s your reaction,” He breathes and for a second, your eyes close from the thought of what’s to come but you only feel the softness of his lips pressed to yours and it’s making your heart race—anyone could walk in at any time and now he’s settling himself down on the sofa, both arms strongly holding onto you before he forced you over. Your legs propelled open and he slides you further onto his lap until you’re directly on his—“I’d like to keep what’s mine,” He murmurs against the skin of your neck and you sigh when he’s creating small movements with his hips, rotating up as it brushes against your heat but you’re reluctant, “T-The door—“

“Is locked,” He cuts you off and decides it’s time to give you the reaction you’re hoping for, “You just keep your pretty lips shut because the boys are next door.”

The signs as types of college students
  • Aries: always in the library
  • Taurus: the one who's constantly talking about high school
  • Gemini: the one who cheats on their long distance S.O. at a party
  • Cancer: the hacky-sack stoner
  • Leo: changes their major three times but still manages to graduate on time
  • Virgo: frat boy/sorority girl
  • Libra: the roommate who labels everything in the fridge and is very particular about keeping the 2 sides of the room separate
  • Scorpio: the one who actually makes a long distance relationship work
  • Sagittarius: graduates a semester late because they spent their first few months of freedom getting piss drunk and partying
  • Capricorn: the one who actually tries to look nice for class, every day, even though everyone else is in sweatpants
  • Aquarius: joins 17 clubs and starts 2 of their own
  • Pisces: the one who cries all the time because theyre homesick

i got a side job at the local artsy fartsy indie theater and idk it sounds like a perfect job for an ex-film major/ depressed stoner/fuck-up with no real skills or desire to grow up so here i am

i’m no teacher or anything important but at least now my cat won’t starve beep boop

6

I attended Phineas & Ferb’s Last Day of Summer panel on the last day of Comic-Con and I got to take pics with the show creators Dan & Swampy (they voice Dr Doofenshimrtz and Major Monogram), Vincent Martella and Alyson Stoner (the voice actors for Phineas and Isabella) and my favourite character Perry the platypus (Dee Bradley Baker)! It was so much fun and there’s a lot of adult fans and they were practically gushing about watching this series as a family event. Parents even watch the show even without their kids. And their kids practically grew up with it (Phineas and Ferb has been around for 10 years!). Swampy was just so overcome with emotions that his eyes started turning red and I admitted I wanted to cry along with him. Its an emotional farewell but also a great send off to a fantastic animated series!