major courses

anonymous asked:

so i noticed you said you like paperhat, how do you feel about everyone that says its abusive? if you get more into the fandom, would you avoid that part of the ship and stay in the fluffy side?

I’m actually really glad you asked this!

What I’m going to start off by saying, is with cartoons and fiction, I think there is a bog difference between slapstick humor, and violence and abuse.
For example, Black Hat is defined as the major villain, so of course he’s going to be a total jerk. But the way it’s portrayed is humorous and light.

Originally posted by demo-ness

That’s what makes the difference with fiction, ESPECIALLY cartoons! It all has to do with the light and seriousness in which you convey it. Because these characters aren’t real, and can’t feel, it’s up to us as the viewer to determine how they feel. That all has to do with the tone.

A tone like this:

Originally posted by sapphic-ravenclaw

The colors, the animation, the character reaction. It all conveys dark and serious. Making the viewer see it as abuse, not slapstick humor. You feel bad for Pacifica in a more serious way. It’s “how awful…” it’s not “LMAO that’s terrible!!”

Meanwhile a tone like this:

Originally posted by gameraboy

although it’s violent, the tone and scheme make it slapstick. Therefor the audience views it as light and humorous so there’s no bad effect. This is how we would react “LMAO how terrible!!!” This differentiates it from abuse.

Anyway, this is just how I see it. i don’t want to step on any toes or make people angry, but in my time as a creative, writing and animating and character design, this is what I see. Now of course if anything happens in Villainous that makes me see it as abuse (negative light), I’m not going to be able to help but stop shipping it.

So if the fandom gets too in depth about this and starts hating on the ship for X, Y and Z. I’m just going to steer clear.

Also I think it would be cute to see Black Hat have a bit of a soft side just for Flug, but that’s just me being me!

slate.com
The Bombing at a Manchester Ariana Grande Show Was an Attack on Girls and Women
The perpetrator attacked fans—mostly young girls—of a superstar known for her irreverent sexuality.

(This is a YOI-only blog, but this issue is important to me.)

Many fandoms are dominated by young women and girls, and they are places where it has historically been safe to express sexuality in ways that mainstream society has deemed unusual or even deviant. I don’t mean to say that this attack was specifically targeted toward the Ariana Grande fandom, but of course the majority of the victims are fans who are women and girls. Shining a light on identity specificity here is important.

(warning: I don’t recommend reading the comments on the article. Very disheartening.)

Sending love and girl power to Manchester and to Ariana’s fans <3 <3 <3

surrender, surrender, but don’t give yourself away 

Why You Should Pay Attention In Class, Feat. Dad and Dr. Puck

Gather ‘Round everyone, it’s time for another installment of Family Lore!

So back in the late 60′s  dad was getting his undergraduate at Cal Poly, because Dad was an early proto-nerd  (like really, he wrote a bunch of the groundwork for the thing that would eventually become the internet), and Cal Poly had one of the first comp sci programs in the country.   Also, it was like 10 miles from home, so he didn’t have to move out. However, because this was undergrad, dad had to take a bunch of non-major courses, so he decided to do geology because he’d been good at identifying rocks in boy scouts.

The course was taught by  gentleman named Dr. Puck, yes really, who was a brilliant geologist, but teaching a bunch of somewhat uninterested just-out-of-high-school kids about rocks can wear on you, even if you aren’t some sort of deranged fey creature.  So he tried his best to make it interesting, and Dad and most of the other kids had a fairly interesting time.

HOWEVER

Dad recounts that there were two girls in class who spent the entire time blowing off lecture, talking and generally being a distracting nuisance, until they heard that a quiz was coming up, then they’d pester and bully anyone for notes, usually Dad.  This went on for about three months and virtually everyone in class was grinding their teeth at these two, but Dad in particular, who did not appreciate being accosted in the hall by these two, who would alternately offer sexual favors for his notes, or threaten to start rumors about him if he didn’t help them study.  Puck knew some shit was up, but dad wasn’t eager to start legal action in his first semester, not to mention it was the 60′s and rampant patriarchy would have meant nobody would have believed him.

One Day, Dr. Puck organized a field for the class to the Santa Cruz Mountains, which are full of all manner of interesting geology things, most notably, fossils.  Really stinking cool ones.  Everyone is having a nice time hiking through the hills, looking at all the picturesque geology, when they round a corner and see a Big Goddamn RIB, just sticking out of the side of the trail.  Everyone goes OOOOOOH appreciatively, and Puck explains that this is an ancient Whale that UC Santa Cruz was digging up, but he knew someone in their geo department, so he got the goods on the site.

He then explains, in grand gestures and with the sort of vivacity that only people of Fey ancestry can muster, how this used to be an ancient seabed, but due to the magic Natural Geologic Process of Continental drift and Uplift, this whale was now some 2000 feet above sea level.  He spent a good twenty minutes telling the tale, while everyone took notes.

Almost everyone.

Literally the moment after Puck finished, one of the girls finally noticed the GIANT FUCKING RIB and asked him “But Dr. Puck- how did  whale get all the way up here?”

Puck, somehow, did not explode, but instead stood up to his full five-feet-and-one-and-one half-inches and explained in his most deadpan, eloquent lecture voice.

“This is a Great Flying Whale of the Cretaceous Period.”  He gestured at the Rib.  “They used to migrate here to Santa Cruz to breed, from their winter grounds in Hawaii, and would build magnificent nests out of kelp.”

Dad recalls stuffing his notes into his mouth to keep from laughing.  His more silver-tongued classmates began to chip in.

“Didn’t they used to eat Stegosaurs?  Just swooped down and gobbled them up.”  a student asked, trying not to snicker.

“Indeed!  They were far from the gentle giants we have today!” Puck agreed.  “Teeth the size of your arm, and long sticky tongues to catch smaller prey with.”

“How did they fly?” Asked another, ready to hear a choice piece of bullshit.

“Oh, gravity was much weaker back then, so they could ‘swim’ through the air with only the aid of a few helium bladders.”  he nodded sagely.  “Yes, and when they fossilized, the bladders were preserved.  Santa Cruz has some of the finest Helium mines in the world thanks to these magnificent beasts.”

“Wow.”  Muttered one of the girls, scribbling notes furiously.  Dad unwaded the parper from his mouth, ready to drive the nail into the coffin.

“Is this going to be on the test?” He asked, sweetly.

“Oh yes.”  Puck nodded gravely.

Sure enough, two weeks later, there was a test, and at the very bottom was the following:

“EXTRA CREDIT: explain everything innacurate/wrong about The Great Flying Whales Of The Cretaceous Period.  One Point per Idea that makes me Laugh.”

And that’s how Dad walked out of geology with 106% and the invaluable knowledge that people will believe ANYTHING if you speak with enough conviction.

Safe Vore Prompts/Starters

-{ “Relax… Please relax…”

-{ “Let me hear your voice so I can know you’re alright…”

-{ “How much longer until you can spit me out, again?”

-{ “It means a lot to me that you’re willing to go through with this…”

-{ “Hey- stop that! It tickles!”

-{ “Er… How do I taste, exactly?”

-{ “I’m impressed you went that far to protect me…”

-{ “That was… Something…”

-{ “Comfortable in there?”

-{ “Just tell me when you want out.”

-{ “You’re so cute when you get all snuggled up in there…”

-{ “Do you need anything?”

-{ “You’re not really… Gonna hurt me, right?”

-{ “So, uh… You’re saying I’ll be alright in there?”

-{ “It’s surprisingly comfortable in here.”

-{ “Just hush, and make yourself comfortable. It’ll be alright.”

-{ “I swear to god you’re going to be fine- you’ve just gotta trust me.”

-{ “I’m fine just staying in your mouth for a little while, actually.”

-{ “I know this is out of nowhere, but… The insides of your cheeks are pretty comfy.”

-{ “What’s this like from your perspective?”

-{ “It’s… So soft and warm…”

-{ “Now what are you drooling over?”

-{ “Hey! Just because it’s safe doesn’t mean you can just swallow me up out of the blue!”

-{ “A little warning would be nice…”

-{ “Would you be okay with…? So you can be somewhere soft until I can find something… Digestible?”

-{ “I could probably take care of that hungry ache in your belly, long as you promise not to digest.”

-{ “Could we… Do this again sometime?”

In order for Socialism to work, the populace must be convinced that the government taking their money is a good thing. What better way to convince them than through Christian teachings?

Which is why I’m Left wing fiscally, but right wing socially. The society where Socialism is implemented in needs a strong moral backbone with an emphasis on God and community in order for Socialism to succeed.

anonymous asked:

I love the CEO!Kara AU's. Like Kara stayed involved in sciences to feel closer to her parents on earth and now she has a tech company. Cause it's HC for me that Kara is extremely intelligent, even if you think about flying she needs to be able to calculate how much she needs to decelerate to not put massive holes in the ground when landing. But the ones I've found have made Kara OCC(like Lord's personality almost), but what if she was still just Sunny Danvers? That would be cooler to me.

CAN YOU IMAGINE?!!

Kara coming into work in the mornings and her assistant (she always used to go through assistants rather quickly because she works to find out what their passion is and then promotes them, but finally; this retired grandma decides she wants to go back to work so she becomes Kara’s assistant and they just really hit it off.) so she comes in and Sheila hands her her coffee and Kara asks about the grandkids. And Sheila totally knows that Kara is Supergirl - figured it out on the first day -  and she covers for her whenever she needs to leave suddenly and makes sure no one else gets suspicious.

All of her employees love her, but they have a healthy respect for her because they all know that she has a tendency to crush expensive office equipment when she gets upset, and if she can do that on ACCIDENT then they never want to see her tear into something on purpose.

So when Lena moves L-Corp to National City, she makes the rounds to all the major CEO’s and of course Kara is one of them and she expects Kara to be just like the rest - super judgy and snarky, but Kara is super nice and welcoming, and Lena just has like an instant crush because no one has ever just been nice to her before - but she’s still wary because surely Kara must have some ulterior motive. 

Then Kara shows up with lunch at Lena’s office a few days later and Lena is just like WTF? And Kara explains that she thought Lena might need a friend in this town because she’s read the papers and all the mean things they have to say about Lena. And then they just talk about tech stuff and Lena is kinda surprised that the most powerful CEO in National City has such a high level knowledge of proton deflectors and so when Kara invites her to game night, she accidentally agrees. Like, oops?

Not that she’s complaining.

Unpopular Critical Opinion #1

I’m not too crazy about a lot of redesigns.

I think it’s a great think that young artists are putting there work out there and I do see a lot of potential. Instead of just putting people down for their art, I want to give some pointers. Of course, a major part of improving art is to seek constructive criticism, so here’s my two cents:

A lot of redesigns I’ve seen tend to be overly detailed. If you want to make a standalone art piece, that’s great! But if you’re working with characters who are going to be drawn over and over again, it’s best to keep it simple. Yeah, a lot of the designs in SU are unimaginative or wanky lookin’, but the minimalism works in their favor… for the most part. The simpler designs are more memorable and allow more time to focus on quality animation without having to worry about too much detail, something the show does not take advantage of, unfortunately.

It’s pretty easy to create an appealing design without using too much elements. First, you want to identify that shapes and gestures that are associated with a particular character. For example, Amethyst is round and curvy.

(Sorry for the poor quality, I just threw this together in a couple minutes to make a point)

Anyways, here I used curvy lines and circles to construct her basic silhouette. For this design, I tried to emulate a slightly bottom-heavy form by giving her a pear-shaped body, sloping shoulders, and hair that moves downwards to bulge at the bottom. Once you have a good idea once your basic form will consist of, then you can build upon the design by adding clothes or accessories that follow the rules you establish. I my case, it’s circles, curves, and a bottom heavy motion. The sleeves slope off of her shoulders as the bottom curves around the hips.

Next up is color:

I do agree that Lapis is too neon for my tastes, but some redesigns and recolors overcompensate by making her colors too dull and drab. This is especially noticeable when the pyrite is incorporated. It’s presented as a dingy yellow when the mineral is actually a really shiny gold.

Seeing this is is a cartoon and not a first-person shooter, the colors should be… colorful… yet distributed well. You don’t want to avoid all of the combinations of hues, shades, tints, and tones. You also don’t want to look like an amateur who picked all of your colors from mspaint.

(I’m not going to put effort into a demonstration, so I apologize)

To get my color scheme, I referenced some of the various minerals that compose lapis lazuli: deep blue lazurite, gold pyrite, and white calcite. I try to keep my color scheme limited but varied. I establish a dominant color (blue), and slightly change the saturation and tone of it. That way, I could add variety and differentiation to my character’s color scheme while keeping a low contrast. You see this with Lapis’s hair and skin (including her dress in the second example).

Since the gold and white are bright colors, they can create more contrast against the blue. I utilize them to create points of interest where the viewer’s eyes will be attracted to. On the first example, the dark blue diamond pops out from the contrasting white dress. I also use tiny gold details on the face since it contrasts with the blue skin. On the second example, I use the gold to create visual interest on the otherwise low-contrast dress. The white calcite on this example serves the same purpose as the gold pyrite in the first. 

Also, take note of the simplicity, The silhouette mostly relies on the tear-drop shapes on the form. The bright, eye-catching colors and details are used to a minimume and serve to add points of interest.

Anyways, that’s all I have to say. I’m not an expert, just sharing what I know about basic design. This was meant to be an unpopular opinion but turned into the guide no one asked for. My next posts are gonna be more controversial, but I’ll try my best to elaborate instead of pop the ye ole snarky post to attract angry anons.

In an interview for Produce 101 Baekho mentioned that he wanted to be like Nayoung or Kyulkyung in I.O.I or Seventeen and just hearing that from someone who debuted earlier than them hurts me so much because it should be the other way around, right? Trainees and rookies should aspire to be like their senior groups, and the fact that Baekho felt like they were a failure group hurts me to no end.

I want to hope that Pledis did this to benefit Nu’est but I can’t imagine their situation right now. Nu’est, who debuted the same year as EXO, B.A.P, Vixx, are reduced to competing in a show with other trainees must feel like shit. Nu’est, who doesn’t have a huge following in Korea competing on Produce 101 as their “last chance” while also being called cheaters by other trainees since they have a fanbase to begin with must be so hard on them.

I don’t blame them for not ranking as high for the first episode. I can only imagine what it’s like trying to do your best performance when you feel like this is your last chance to achieve your dream…competing amongst rookies in a survival show. It must be embarrassing to them.

No matter what, I will always support Nu’est! (even tho international fans can’t vote T_T) and I will anticipate their success! I hope this time, their hardships will be repaid in tenfold~

Driven by Revenge

When a loved one is murdered, revenge can very often be in the forefront of the victim’s loved one’s minds. Of course the majority leave it to the justice system to serve punishment and justice, however, in 2015 24-year-old Alam Khan took things into his own hands. When Alam was just 12-years-old, he witnessed his father get murdered by a family friend, Mohammad Rais. Twelve years later, Alam lured Mohammad to his house where he stabbed him to death before chopping him into 12 pieces - one for each year he waited for this moment. Alam then placed the dismembered pieces into plastic bags before throwing them into a river. They were retrieved when they washed onshore. Alam readily admitted to killing Mohammad and confessed that he had never told anybody that he witnessed his father be murdered so that he could plan his revenge instead of letting justice take its course.

anonymous asked:

What jobs can you get as a History major?

These links have some pretty cool info. They breakdown history jobs by industry.

Hope this helps!

MCAT prep sites, friends, etc: you need AT LEAST 6-8 months to prep for your MCAT!

me, starting to study for it two months before I plan to write it: 

Originally posted by penultimxte

  • me: *finishes my 19th century novel class* thank god it's over. i'm never looking anything set in Victorian England ever again. fuck you Charles Dickens
  • also me: 👏🏻TIME 👏🏻TO 👏🏻RESTART 👏🏻PENNY 👏🏻DREADFUL!!! ☠DORIAN GRAY ⚗️JEKYLL & HYDE 😈DRACULA ⚰VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN 🙌🏻 I 😍LOVE 👻GOTHIC 📖FICTION
Hellsing & Vulnerability: Alt. How Sad is Alucard?

Gentlemen… I am a nerd.

Case in point: during my lunch breaks, instead of surfing Facebook—something I save for the comfort of my couch—I am on the TED talks website. Nothing makes my day like learning something new; I would take infinite college courses if they didn’t cost a dime, no matter how stressful the workload would be. Give me a lecture on anthropology or ancient history and I am happy as a lark.

Recently, my lunchtime lecture was given by self-proclaimed researcher-storyteller Brené Brown. It was entitled “The Power of Vulnerability”, and I highly recommend you view it [link here], if you’re interested in human nature like I am. Anyway, so I’m sitting there, half-reclined with the door to my classroom locked and fully engrossed in both the video and the sandwich in my hand, when it hits me. I’ve heard of inspiration washing over people like a wave, but when I get it, it’s like an arrow straight to my brain: sudden, unexpected, and I can’t think of much else afterwards.  

My brain sent a single thought through my head, one that made me stop chewing and run it through two or three times to make sure I’d heard it right: Alucard’s greatest fear is vulnerability.

Emotionally, that is.

Well, wait, I countered myself, taking another bite of my sandwich. Who isn’t afraid of vulnerability? It’s sort of a given: we don’t want to let anyone else—who can do harm—into the deepest, most secretive part of our souls. But then, as I thought more, I realized that although we as humans try to hide it, vulnerability also has a little habit of sneaking through.

Humans, as a species, are amazing. My favorite thing to learn about is universal experience. For example, all nations seem to have the odd occurrence where a child’s father tells corny jokes that often fall flat, but are funny because they fall flat. But dad jokes aside, universal experience bleeds into vulnerability like pink on a white dress. You don’t have to know someone’s language to know that they’re smiling because they’re happy, or covering their eyes and cowering because they’re afraid. Body language, facial expression, the look in their eyes—it all goes without saying, no matter who you are or where you’re from. Isn’t that amazing???!

(Clears throat) Since I was supposed to be talking about Hellsing, I’ll use an example from the manga/OVA. Also—do I even have to mention spoilers at this point? It should be assumed, but even so: spoilers!

The scene I’m thinking about is not Alucard, but rather his master. When Walter shows up on the streets of London, dressed in conveniently found leather and sporting some impressive age reducing cream, everyone is astounded. Seras gasps dramatically, Alucard smiles like he always does, the Iscariots go “No, no, don’t step there!” collectively. But what always got me was Integra’s reaction. Not immediately, though she does kind of waste her nicotine on the bloody ground, but afterwards, when Alucard asks her what he’s supposed to do—kind of. That one page became one of my absolute favorites in the manga, and it’s an excellent jumping point for our talk about vulnerability.

See, Hirano didn’t have to say “Oh, she’s super sad. That was her butler and kind of her second dad and now he’s thrown their relationship away to fight another dick also dressed up in leather”. He didn’t need to say it. She says it all without a word in edgewise about it: clenched fists, watery eyes, a tightness in her stance that suggests fighting back tears… she’s in despair. When you see a panel like this, it’s all too easy to remember that she’s a young 20+ woman who just lost the last person she could theoretically call family.

Heartbreaking, but what’s my point? Think about it. She was in the middle of a war, her house is on fire, vampires are trying to bite her, she was unofficially kidnapped and held hostage by a bunch of weirdos working for the Vatican, and she remains calm and cool. Her breaking point only comes when something cuts her to the core, something that she can’t deal with without instantly having to fight against the tears that would show everyone—enemies included— “hey, I’m hurting emotionally, I really need comfort and reassurance.”  

POINT #1: Vulnerability shows when a person feels a pain so great that it strikes a chord within their soul. Remember it, bookmark it: it’ll come back up later.

Another big thing, that I didn’t really think about until Mrs. Brown touched on it, was that the only people who don’t feel shame are the ones who lack the ability to connect empathetically with others. Now, I know you just read that and thought “Wait, weren’t we talking about vulnerability?”, but trust me on this. It’s just another point I’m making.

Now, let me ask you this: What is the defining term between the words psychopath and sociopath? Most people put them on the same lines, but there’s a major, major difference. That term is conscience. Psychopaths lack a conscience. They feel no sense of right or wrong about what they do. They can’t connect with others. Sociopaths, according to experts, have a weak conscience. They feel guilt or remorse, but it’s not strong enough to guide their hand like it might be in the average person’s mind.  

Now, Mrs. Brown found in her research that the underlying cause for shame, for people saying ‘I’m not ___ enough, I don’t deserve love or happiness” is excruciating vulnerability. The people who were ashamed of themselves were also afraid to let their inner selves show to the world. And the only people who don’t feel shame are psychopaths, who lack empathetical connections with others.

Point #2: Sociopaths can feel shame; therefore, they can feel vulnerable. You can probably see where I’m going at this point, right?

Last point: Mrs. Brown, in her findings, talked about something called “numbing vulnerability”. She talked about how humans will try to numb the emotions that they don’t like or agree with, the ones that cause them pain or go against what they consider their morality. Think of monks and nuns giving up pleasures for devotion, that sort of thing. But humans can’t just numb things that make them suffer. When they do, it starts numbing other things, too. You can get rid of shame, of guilt, disappointment, but at what cost? Joy, gratitude, happiness.

POINT #3: Those who chose to fight against vulnerability, become miserable.

Think of the London Blitz, or as I call it: manga catharsis. Everyone—Iscariot, Hellsing, Millennium: they all blew up, shot a man or two, got their emotions out, and if they lived they went on with their lives. SAY THAT I’M WRONG. Out of all the people that could have cried their eyes out there, which one of them did? (looks at camera like the office) Which one of them had a complete screaming, crying meltdown and showed a surprising amount of true vulnerability to a dying man as well as like, fifty other people who were just kind of hanging back and watching it all play out?

It wasn’t Seras, I’ll tell you that much. T_T;

Let’s take our three main points and apply them to the 600-year-old… uh… guy.

Point 1: Why did he have that fit in the first place? Catharsis, I tell you! Anyway, he was angry at Anderson for becoming a… plant thing dude. Ugly. He was mad at Anderson for turning ugly. (coughs) But if we take that point into thought, Anderson’s ugliness—okay, the nail loophole—cut him so deeply that it struck a chord within him, and he couldn’t help but rant and rave against what had happened. And, we can assume that unlike Integra, it went so deeply that he couldn’t stop the tears in time. Why? Because—and this is a bit of conjecture, but I think I can safely say—what Anderson did hit on a source of deep shame for Alucard, shame that he hadn’t been strong enough, brave enough, whatever enough to stay a human and instead became a vampire.

Summation: Alucard has the ability to feel emotions, and these can be forceful enough to provoke a reaction from him.

Point 2: Alucard is, I believe, a sociopath. Prevalent more in the manga, and subtle in the anime/OVA, he does appear to have the ability to connect with others. In the manga, he’s seen joking around with Walter, teaming up with Seras to tease Integra, getting along with Pip in a business-like way, and you can even go so far to say that he has an—albeit unhealthy—connection with both Anderson and the Major. Of course, it’s sometimes possible for people to fake these connections, but I don’t think that’s the case BECAUSE of his breakdown in London.

As stated earlier, to feel shame and vulnerability, to be burdened with emotional pain, is a sign of someone who has morality and can form relationships. Now, that’s not saying he’s a good guy—not at all. As a sociopath, any emotion he feels that gets in the way of his ultimate goal is easily ignored. He might feel guilt, shame, pain, or remorse for his actions, but he simply chooses to do it anyway and probably doesn’t bother to consider it more than a minute or two.

Another example is his and Seras’s little spat in the hotel room. She argues that the people he killed are humans, innocent of anything other than following orders. He shouts at her, yanking her up by the collar and yelling in her face. Then, when she starts to cry, he puts her back down and is more subdued. Now, there’s two ways I look at this: firstly, his expression when he sees her tears. He looks, in the OVA at least, almost shocked that she’s crying, and then seems to rethink his actions. Now, he wasn’t rethinking the killing, per say, but instead he felt something about making her cry. This leads back into the ability to make connections. He felt—bad?—about her tears, so he promptly stopped the offending action and reformed his behavior to something more acceptable: a quieter tone, placing her back on the floor, backing away to give her space. A psychopath wouldn’t care that he’d made her cry, having no emotional connection to her. But Alucard cared enough to stop the behavior, which means that he cared enough about her to at least think “I should not be doing this to this person. Let’s stop and do something else.”

Summation: Per the clinical definition of a sociopath, Alucard has the ability to both make meaningful connections with others. Whether he makes those connections or not is up to him.

Point 3: Throughout the manga/OVA, a close observer can see Alucard fighting against himself—and his emotions. When he dreams about his demise at the hands of van Helsing, he cries in his sleep. However, upon waking he is apathetic about the experience, dismissing it as “a dream; it was nothing”. He feels disgust and anger when a guard kills himself, rather than let Alucard rip him apart while alive. He speaks out against monsters “like me[himself]”, pleading with Anderson to stay human even if it costs him his life. He demeans himself at different times, often in soliloquy or as an undertone to a sentence.

This provokes the question: Does Alucard consider himself worthy of happiness? The answer is probably no, he does not. He shows himself to be very self-critical of his past choices, although he accepts all of them for what they are. However, instead of learning from his past and starting over a new leaf, he remains on the same path of death and destruction. One can assume that he might feel trapped by his own actions, unable to rise up and overcome to begin life anew. This might be why he waits for someone to kill him—a punishment that would, ultimately, free him. This would be a miserable, endless existence, one of self-loathing and an eternal feeling that he is, and always will be, beyond any sort of redemption.

Summation: Alucard’s shame and constant fighting against his own emotions has caused him to turn bitter against the world, as his existence is a cold, bleak realm of misery.

Now for the (deep, echoing voice)

 REALM OF OPINIONS:

If all of the above is true, and can be said about Alucard, here is what I think. Alucard would view his vulnerability as something weak and useless, to be despised and ignored for as long as possible. In short, I think that he would consider vulnerability to be something wholly

human

, and that as a monster he has neither need nor inclination for exposing that side to others. As a human, he was taken at a young age and abused, which set the foundations for what would have otherwise been a happy, healthy adulthood. Surely as a prisoner of the sultan, any weakness would have been mortifying to show to his captors. Even now, as a servant to the Hellsing Organization and British Empire, he would feel it better to hide any emotion that he truly felt behind a mask, so that they could have no ammunition to use against him if the time arose. This does not, however, stop him from at the very least forming a social bond with a few select people, even if they remain outside the field of acquaintances. It is shown through the manga, anime, and OVA that although he walks with both feet in the lawless side of existence, he has the ability to be polite, civilized, work with others, be a teacher, understand the implications of his actions, tease others, even laugh and cry. Despite hating the human part of himself, it is still a core element of his being. I leave you now with questions and thoughts: you are more than welcome to continue the discussion in the comments, PM me, reblog, etc. In fact, if you liked this read, please reblog it so that others can see as well! If Alucard can feel vulnerable, what other situations might he willingly/unwillingly show it? Men are automatically expected by society to be more aloof and emotionless than women, though it is not the case in the slightest. How might this also play a factor in Alucard’s psyche? Is this another part of the reason he loathes himself?If he were ever willing to step back and take a look at himself, or even go to therapy, how would that affect his behavior? As a sociopath, would he make a willing change, or would therapy only further complicate things?


I also want to do a talk that’s more about my fanfiction side of things, which will be coming up VERY soon. I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you think! I leave you now, with a quote from the TED Talk that Mrs. Brown gave, that I think sums it up nicely.


But there’s another way, and I’ll leave you with this. This is what I have found: To let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen … to love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee — and that’s really hard, and I can tell you as a parent, that’s excruciatingly difficult — to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we’re wondering, “Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?” just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, “I’m just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive." 

Heat Part Two (Officer JDM x Reader)

[READ PART ONE]

Heat Part Two

Summary: Jeff takes you on your first date. There is a lot of sweet times in this one and of course, MAJOR SMUT! 

Note: Was originally suppose to be a one shot. Wrote part two due to how popular part one was! If this one is also liked then I will write a part three. 

Word Count: 3.3K

Warning: Original request was “Officer Morgan Fuck Me Up Smutty AF”  This is definitely going to be very, VERY NSFW. You’ve been warned!

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