main film

Renamed MCU Movies
  • Iron Man: Robert Downey Jr. now has a goatee and it sort of works
  • The Incredible Hulk: remember that 2003 Hulk film with Jennifer Connelly? this isn't it
  • Iron Man 2: He's Back and Very Tired of This Shit
  • Thor: Tell your kid he's adopted and then hibernate to avoid your problems
  • Captain America The First Avenger: arguably, could one insert their dick....into the tesseract? asking for a friend
  • The Avengers: remember loki? ha that wild son of a gun sure loved trying to kill his adopted father. what's he been up to?
  • Iron Man 3: Tony Stark Collects Science Kids
  • Thor The Dark World: Why do Asgardians have such weird fucking names? Just have a normal name.
  • Captain America The Winter Soldier: Just give Natasha Romanoff her own movie already
  • Guardians of the Galaxy: Put This Film in the Library of Congress
  • Avengers Age of Ultron: Clint Barton has a line in the script!
  • Ant-Man: Paul Rudd is like the hot dad of your friend and it's really obvious but you don't want to say anything about it in case that friend stops inviting you to their house so you sit there at dinner and try not to stare at their hot dad but eventually you just have to say something and then you stop talking to that friend a month later for totally unrelated causes
  • Captain America Civil War: Bucky Barnes is not straight part 2
  • Doctor Strange: you could have literally cast anybody else in this role and you chose Bendydick Crackrock. other than that, great film
  • Guardians of the Galaxy 2: currently still sobbing over this
  • Spiderman Homecoming: Tony Stark Continues To Collect Science Kids

this is gonna sound kinda corny but

I wanna thank both Marvel and DC for stepping up to the plate and giving poc and women (women 30+ mind you in WW) a place on the world stage and proving the importance of both women and poc. We need these movies now more than ever, we need to be grateful (despite all the fandom drama) that Black Panther and Wonder Woman exist and we live in an age that they can exist. I’m just very grateful to be alive during a time like this. 

reasons why “king arthur: legend of the sword” is a good film and you should go see it:
  • the cinematography is AMAZING
  • the special effects are AMAZING
  • the soundtrack is AMAZING and does a good job of getting you pumped for each scene and involved with everything that’s happening
  • the actions scenes are realistic and characters are winded after long runs/battles
  • there is NO romance whatsoever between the male and female leads
  • several of the wisest, most powerful, and most important characters are people of color
  • one out of the top three most powerful characters in the entire film is female and is not demeaned at all by others on her side for being female
  • there is humor, but it fits with the film and isn’t at all distracting from the plot or out of place in plot events
  • shows how badly women in the sex trade were treated by their customers
  • mentions (though incredibly brief) the fact that men and boys were also exploited in brothels and the sex trade
  • shows the main villain of the film actually showing grief and powerful feelings toward his own family
  • accurately shows the protective instincts and doubt that come with being a person in charge of the lives of many others
  • there is extremely little nudity (the only nudity is fully understandable and is not at all disrespectful towards women’s bodies, it’s very modest)
  • there isn’t a single sex scene in the entire film
  • all pieces of lore about excalibur and the story is explained, nothing is left to speculation about how the sword ends up where it does
  • accurately portrays PTSD and how it can effect a person’s life

THIS FILM. IS AMAZING. YOU SHOULD GO SEE IT. SERIOUSLY.

Beauty and the Beast isn't what Tumblr's been saying it is.

I can completely get over Emma Watson being Belle for the sheer amount of representation that’s in the film. What representation? 

 Let’s begin (spoiler alert!):

1. Black People in France. Yes, honey. For the first time in my life, I walked into a widely released period piece that doesn’t ignore the existence of black people. Not as mere servants and slaves, but as actual fucking court members and townspeople. Also, interracial couples. Y'ALL. 

 2. Le Fou. I was concerned about this, but he actually undergoes character development. He eventually abandons Gaston and has a change of heart (Disney-style, but I’ll take it). The scene with him “dancing with another man” at the end is led up to- it’s not just random. It doesn’t send the message that gay people are stupid and deserve to be mistreated (Mrs. Potts literally tells him he deserves better), which were my main concerns for this film. TL;DR, the LeFou plotline isn’t what Tumblr made it out to be, I promise.  

 3. The Gender Fluid Character. There is a scene in a which a character normalizes a man in a dress in a positive way. I was expecting him to be mocked, but this doesn’t happen! (Also, I believe this is the same character LeFou dances with at the end). 

 4. Belle teaches a child to read/ LeFou realizes he can’t read. Watson aside, the actual perils of living in 17th century France are explored, like the Plague, and also the importance of literacy. As children’s literacy is very important to me, I LOVED this. 

There’s more, but I think the representation needs to be supported (listen, I almost never see myself in a period piece, I was expecting this cast to be vanilla as hell) and Disney needs to know that we want more of it. 

 ALSO: to the white and non-black POC who straight up lied about the representation in this film, I SEE YOU.