mail-order

U.S. PRESIDENT AND TERRIFYING DERANGED SERIAL KILLER ANDREW JACKSON ENDORSED THE POSTMASTER GENERAL’S IDEA OF LETTING MAIL CARRIERS WITHHOLD AND DISPOSE OF PEOPLE’S PRIVATE MAIL WITHOUT NOTICE IN ORDER TO STOP THE SPREAD OF ANTI-SLAVERY LITERATURE IN THE SOUTH, SO I DON’T WANT TO HEAR HIS NAME AND “FREE SPEECH” IN THE SAME BREATH! EITHER YOU LIKE ANDREW JACKSON OR YOU LIKE FREE SPEECH, THE TWO ARE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE, YOU CANNOT HAVE BOTH.

tangled up in you 45k

by missandrogyny (paynner on tumblr) 

Harry blinks once. And blinks again. And says, his voice dangerous: “Niall, did you get me a mail-order bride?”

Because what the actual fuck. It kind of looks like Niall’s just purchased a person. For Harry.

Niall blinks back at him for a few moments, before throwing his head back and howling with laughter. Harry throws a pillow at him. Hard. “No, what the fuck, Harry.”

“A prostitute then?” Harry also doesn’t want a prostitute.

“Of course not!”

“A stripper?”

“No!”

Damn, he’s running out of ideas. He settles for launching another pillow at Niall’s head. Niall bats it away easily, still laughing. “Stop!”

“What did you get me, then?!” Niall must hear the tinge of hysteria in his voice, because he’s pulling himself together, trying to stop himself from laughing.

There’s still a big grin on his face, though, when he says, “I got you a professional cuddler.”

A professional…what. “What?”

anonymous asked:

Hello =) Anything with either Derek or Stiles not being english native speakers? Triple brownie points if there's another language actually being spoken.

Hi there, Nonny!  For more non-English speaker!Stiles fics, be sure to check out our Polish!Stiles tag here.  These fics feature language barrier, speaking in another language, or thinking the other person doesn’t speak English.  Enjoy! -Emmy

Originally posted by katieee-x

Excuse Me?  By StupidGenius 

(827 I General I Complete)  *sterek, polish!stiles

He had been getting into the elevator, going to get his last few boxes from the moving truck, when a pale, slender hand hand stuck itself between the closing elevator doors. And then his face. Pale and dotted with moles, brown hair wild, honey eyes wide and framed with thick, dark lashes - just his type. “Przepraszam.” the guy had said, which, right. He didn’t speak a word of English.

Je Ne Peux Pas Croire Que Je T'aime by twinSky

(1,526 I General I Complete)  *sterek, multilingual!derek

Sometimes, when Derek get’s frustrated, he tends to slip into different languages.
Stiles thinks it’s unfair how terribly (horribly, utterly) hot it is.
-
In which it’s impossible to have an argument (not that Stiles wants too) with Derek Hale because he can’t keep to one language and Stiles can’t be mad at him when he’s speaking mother fucking French.

Talk to Me, Baby by Sarageek16 

(2,386 I Teen i Complete)   *sterek, human AU, Polish speaking!Stiles

Derek delivers a basket to a neighbor he didn’t realize he had, Stiles speaks Polish, and Laura cackles in the background. Also, a drag queen.

llevo tu corazón, lo llevo en mi corazón by losingmyangelgrace 

(6,020 I Teen I Complete)  *sterek, Spanish speaking!Derek, Alpha!Scott, Beta!Derek

Derek was sitting at the table in the newly renovated Hale house, watching Stiles surreptitiously as he and Allison made cupcakes. He thought that he was being covert about it until Scott slid into the chair next to him and clapped a hand onto his shoulder.

“¿Por qué no hacer un movimiento, hombre?” Scott said, leaning back in the chair and staring at Derek seriously.

(Or where Derek is pining for Stiles, Scott knows and is trying to get him to make a move, generally while in Stiles’ presence, by speaking to Derek in Spanish.)

You Know You’re On My Mind by bibliosexual 

(16,371 I Teen I Complete)  *sterek, Polish!Stiles, high school au, human au, childhood friends

If there’s one thing Derek’s learned in life, it’s that crushing on someone who lives on an entire other fucking continent is probably a bad idea.

Come on Stranger by jaegermighty 

(16,869 I Teen I Complete)  *sterek, sci-fi, Stargate fusion

Evil robots, basically. Sometimes Stiles regrets signing that nondisclosure agreement.

Ukochany by VincentMeoblinn 

(34,121 I Explicit I Complete)  *sterek, Polish!Stiles, omega!stiles, mpreg, mail order bride!stiles, everyone’s werewolves

Derek comes home to find a mail order husband and two amused betas waiting for him. When he realizes their prank was far from harmless he ends up saddled with a husband who barely speaks English but insists Derek is the love of his life. He’s also determined to win him over.

Wild One by Nival_Vixen 

(38,038 I Teen I WIP)  *sterek, wild!stiles, magic!stiles, alpha!derek

Stiles is a wildling in the forest, and Derek finds him one day. He wants to bring the wild young man into his pack, but Derek still has to deal with the loose ends of the Alpha pack, the Darach, and Erica and Boyd’s kidnapping. Besides, Stiles trusts Derek’s wolf more than his human form, and lashes out when Derek approaches him.

When Erica, Boyd, and Cora are rescued, they head straight into the forest and towards the territory of Derek’s wildling.

Was bored at work, so got a guy fired and possibly sent to prison for fraud.

(long story)

I work the night shift as a receptionist at a hotel in Norway, and most nights are spent watching Netflix/playing games. Last summer was really slow and I also worked a lot extra, so I ran out of stuff to watch and games to play. One night I got a mail from “Scooter”. He wanted to book a room for almost 20 days. I just had to send him the price and confirmation that we had rooms available, and he would then send me his credit card info for me to pre-charge. Normally we just delete these kinds of mail, but I was bored out of my mind, so I responded with an offer for around 2k$ for the entire stay. Also made sure to inform him that he could cancel for free up until the day of arrival.

This is probably the most common fraud attempt in the Hotel/travel industry. Unlike most businesses, we are able to charge credit/debit cards with only the card number and exp date. No need for a pin code, cvc or other auth methods. Our software also allow us deposit money directly to local and international bank accounts by using the card number. Because of this, shitheads like Scooter will try to prepay with stolen/skimmed cards, but then cancel the booking and asking us to refund the amount to a different card.

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1000 Feelings For Which There Are No Names Prompt Challenge

This is a prompt challenge @suddenclarityharry had the inspiration for after reading some of the feelings described in the book 1000 Feelings For Which There Are No Names.  Participants pick a random number between 1 and 1000 and have to use the feeling described to write a short fic in a week’s time!  We hope you enjoy reading them as much as we enjoyed writing them.

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hiiii, here are a bunch of fics I’ve enjoyed and loved reading throughout the month of february. I recommend that you read these great fics in march, if you haven’t already. there are SO many good and unique AUs this round, so please check them out!!

(all fics with a star are my favorites and if there are two stars then it was a favorite favorite)


1. Saved Tonight (30k)**

Harry is the world’s most persistent seduction-baker, a questionable dog-sitter, and Louis’s biggest fan. Louis hasn’t written in years, is trying to pass loneliness off as cynicism, and absolutely hates his fans. It’s probably destiny.

2. Too Real to Fake It (82k)*

With seven years of blissful marriage behind them and four wonderfully unique kids to brag about, Harry and Louis seem to finally have life all figured out and under control. How much more real could it get?

Very real it turns out, when Harry reluctantly leaves home for a 5 day business trip leaving Louis to manage their rambunctious, hyperactive household. Do they really have it all under control or are they just faking it?

Featuring all the usual suspects, inside jokes, embarrassing moments and of course, Harry and Louis’ wild antics + the addition of their four equally wild and outrageous kids.

3. When You Look Like That (16k)*

“You… you still have the dress form I got you for your eighteenth birthday? You’ve kept it for ten years, Harry?” Louis’ eyes flick around Harry’s studio. It’s big and modern, with floor to ceiling windows that help flood the room in bright sunlight, just like the lobby. However, he can’t stop staring at the faded, but present, heart surrounding the “H + L” written delicately in Louis’ handwriting in the center of the mannequin.

Louis is a songwriter who is nominated for a Grammy and he needs a suit. Fast. He seeks out help from a very popular, very mysterious designer who just so happens to be his ex-boyfriend.

Keep reading

4

A&M Comics in Miami, Florida, circa 1975. The shop was a front for a mail order porn business, which got the owners in a lot of trouble.

It’s still there, if you want to visit. They still have acquired tons of weird artifacts, including Gil Kane art done just for the store. When I went inside, I found Shaver Mystery fanzines from the early 1980s.