Triggers: Minor character death, dealing with loss
Ah, I’m still not feeling it with this chapter. It was fun to write though! I should get properly back into the swing of things by the time I get started on the next one though.
“Are you sure its nothing..? It really didn’t sound like it.” Patton questioned with a soft frown on his features. Logan raised his head so he could look over to him properly and fixed his glasses. “Yes, Patton It was nothing more than a disagreement. That’s all.” He insisted, a hard edge to his tone that he really didn’t mean to take on. He watched as Patton’s face seem to fall and he looked away from him. “Alright..”
There really was something wrong with him, wasn’t there? Logan could remember the days where he could easily walk past someone who seemed upset without even thinking about it. But…there was something about Patton that made him want to help him. To tell him everything that was going on. But he didn’t want to bring it up. He knew it was probably just make things harder for him. “Thank you for understanding Patton…maybe I’ll tell you another day alright?” He looked over to him and watched as the electronic nodded.
“Okay… You’d tell me if it was anything bad right?” Patton questioned softly, and Logan simply hummed in confirmation. “Yes, I would.” That was a lie. That was a terrible lie. He knew he shouldn’t lie about it. Especially with something like this. But luckily the android seemed to buy it. Patton just smiled softly. “Okay! Thanks, Logan.” The scientist had to look away for a split second, and could only hope that Patton didn’t notice. It seemed like he didn’t. “Let’s get you back to start charging okay? You’re probably starting to get fairly low on power by now.” Logan stood up, watching as Patton stood up as well. “Okay! You promise you’ll go to bed after this right?”
“Yes, I promise I will get a good amount of rest.” He answered curtly, heading back upstairs and into his lab. He walked through it to the table and Patton followed. The electronic hopped up onto the table. “Thanks Logan… Good night!” Logan couldn’t help the soft smile that came onto his features. “Good night, Patton.” He plugged the android in and leaned him back onto the table as his eyes slid closed.
Logan ended up watching him for a while in silence before he left the lab. He ran a hand through his hair as he went to the couch sitting down with his head in his hands. He just stared blankly at the floor for a while, his thoughts still going a mile a minute. He looked rather disheveled for once, with his hair messed up and a stressed out look in his eyes. Eventually he sat up and took off his tie and just set it to the side.
Now wasn’t the time to care about his appearance. He leaned back onto the couch and touched a hand to his face. He was…crying? When did he start doing that? He wiped the tears away before he grabbed the letter and read it over for the second time that day.
We regret to inform you on the passing of your parents, Lucille and Zachary Sanders. The two seemed to have passed away around the same time last night. It looks like the two passed away without any pain if that provides any comfort. Let us know when you wish to start planning the funeral, our information is at the bottom of the letter.
From, The Green Hills Retirement Center.
Logan crumpled up the paper in his fist, dropping it to the ground. When he was younger, he had thought he would actually be a bit happy when this day came around. After all..they had tried to manipulate him his entire life, they had never even let him properly explore his own interests until he was in college. But… He wasn’t. He wasn’t happy, he wasn’t even indifferent. Instead, he felt…well, he felt sad and somehow even numb at the same time.
He couldn’t help but remember the good memories he had had with them more than the bad. Like how every single time he got an award they would take him out for a special treat. Even if it was something that he didn’t even want to compete for he still remembered that twinge of pride that always came up into his chest. Other memories seem to come and go for a while… He sniffed softly and looked up after a bit
Logan looked over to the clock and saw that he had been there for a while now…but that was when a thought hit him. He was alone. His parents had been the only family he had had left…and now they were gone. The only person he had left wasn’t even really a person, they were a machine. The only person he had left was Patton. And even he had a virus… Logan could end up losing him too.
No. Logan couldn’t lose anyone else. He wouldn’t lose anyone else. There was no way in hell he would ever lose him. Logan would find a way to save him. That was always his top priority but now…now it felt even more important than before. Logan didn’t care what got in his way, he could save Patton, he would save him. Thoughts were rushing through his mind as he stood up, his posture was stiff and he forced himself to stop crying.
Logan knew he had to get some sleep at some point… But right now he doubted he would be able to get some rest even if he wanted to. So instead he walked up the stairs to his lab, thoughts about the argument coming into his mind. Maury had been an old friend of the family, (he had done him a favor a few years ago, offering to accept the mail from the home at his house) had came over to try to drop off the letter, insisting since Logan was his son he needed to be the one to plan the funeral, and Logan had ended up telling him that he didn’t want to go to it. It was needless to say that that had spiraled into an argument. But never mind all of that. Logan had work to do, he could sleep later. He needed to work on stopping the virus.
4 November 1917 - Letter to Edith from Witley Camp, Surrey, England
“Two letters in one day” Fred writes, “for since I wrote that letter this morning I’ve received a Canadian mail, a letter from home, and a book and two letters from a dear little girl I know”.
In this letter we learn that Edith is receiving praise for her teaching work, and Fred writes about how proud of her he is. However, he also writes: “I fear I’m stealing a born teacher from the profession, and yet, dear wife-to-be, do you not think there is ever a better work for you, I can’t help dreaming of the wonderful home you will build”. There is a lot we could unpack in this passage, but there are two parts we want to draw attention to.
First, it’s clear that Fred’s plan for their future (and presumably Edith’s as well, but we don’t have clear evidence of that), involves Edith giving up her chosen profession (teaching) once they get married, and keeping her labours primarily within their household - making a home and raising any children they might have.
The second piece we’d like to draw attention to is that Fred clearly views this homemaking work as work, acknowledging Edith’s future role and agency in managing their household. This is a pretty standard feature of first wave feminism, that women should have a public role, and be recognized as persons under the law, while simultaneously regulating women (and this was especially true for married women) to the work of homemaking, and keeping them out of the workforce. We’ve discussed before our belief that both Edith and Fred were first wave feminists, and this passage seems to support that conclusion.
percy was working on sodor in the early 1930s. it was a different time, with no diesel engines at all. he always loved doing his jobs and also really loved pulling the mail train. during that time he would regularly converse with a boy named greggory, who was around 10-12. they would often chat about how everything was going, that school was getting boring, and that greggory wanted to work with the engines when he got older. he did live on Sodor, after all, and had grown up surrounded by steam engines.
I love writing the same story from different perspectives, so here is Henry’s side of This Machine. It shouldn’t really matter which one you read first, but William’s side has a clearer timeline and Henry’s ends at a later point.
AN: My second imagine, officially. Hope you guys like it :) It’s something-like 2100 words; brace yourselves.
“Another wedding invitation, huh?” Remus used his elbow to nudge your forearm, having noticed how overtly disappointed you appeared. It felt like once a week, you were getting another Save The Date card in the mail. Friends from back home, friends that had already graduated from Hogwarts, distant cousins; any female that you had ever come in contact with was seemingly getting married in the coming year and a half, and quite frankly, it was bumming you out.
Weddings were supposed to be joyous, yes. An entire ceremony to celebrate the love of two people? Adorable – even you, in your stupor of jealousy, could admit it. You had loved love for as long as your memory reached back to, and even before that. From birth, you’d been a hopeless romantic. You smiled at each couple you saw; giggled at the muggle films with sparks, love at first sight, and coincidental meetings; snuck cheesy romance novels between your mattress and boxspring, just so your roommates wouldn’t notice. Each night, you’d sneak into the Gryffindor common room to read them by the fire.
In fact, that was how you met Remus: during your second week at school, you both found yourself downstairs, by chance, reading. After three straight nights of sitting on parallel couches, he introduced himself. Remus Lupin, first year, full-time bookworm.
It didn’t take very long for you to realize that Rem was, for lack of a better phrase, the epitome of your dream guy. He was intelligent, with a silent sort of sarcasm, and wit sharp enough to cut like a blade. No one you’d met before was as well-read (and surprisingly humble) as him. His jokes were dad-like and his smile was always a little lopsided, but Merlin, was he perfection.
For awhile, you were just book buddies; you’d read together at night, then pass each other without a word during the school day. Finally, one night at dinner, he came right over to you and asked if the seat across from you was taken. You looked to your left, to your best friend, who simply gave you a smile. Smiling back at her, then to Remus, you told him it’d be a pleasure for him to sit with you guys.
Just like that, you fell head over heels for Remus; and he brought out that hopeless romantic side of you. You wanted to do everything under the Sun with him at your side, hands intertwined. Loving him was effortless and unequivocal. Loving him was the easiest goddamn thing you’d ever done.
“Another wedding invitation.” You confirmed, rolling your eyes at the card’s overdone calligraphy, and matching beaded border.
“Why are you in such a twist over all these marriages?” Sirius, being typical, boundary-less Sirius, prodded. “Don’t you live and breathe romance?”
Lily nodded along, and jerked her head toward James, trying to get him to agree, but he was too busy inhaling his toast to care.
“It’s nothing,” you muttered, knowing that if you tried to explain it to Sirius and Lily, they’d probably be incredulous; maybe even call you childish. Perhaps it was childish. “I’ve got to go to the library, talk later.” Without another word, you grabbed the stack of books from under your seat on the bench, and stumbled off.
“Seriously, what’s gotten into her?” Lily hissed to Rem, your boyfriend of five years, the instant you were out of earshot. “You two been fighting, or something?”
Sighing, Remus propped his elbows on the table, cupped his face in his hands, and let out a groan. “I may have fucked up, just a little bit.”
Of course, this revelation seized James’s attention. “Spill your guts, Moony, every last gory detail.” Lily sent her love a sharp glare, and he coughed weakly. “Y'know, so we can help get you out of this. Y/N’s scary when she’s upset.”
“-And hot as all hell.” Sirius chimed in, only to earn a strike across the shoulder from Lily.
“What did you do, Remus?”
Rem pulled his cheeks from his palms, then forced his fingers through his coffee-colored, ruffled locks. “Well, we’ve been together for five years, right? And she’s my best friend. We tell each other everything; we always have. There’s never been any pretense or bullshit with her. I-” he paused, to gain a grip on his words. “-I know Y/N’s The One. I want to propose to her, even.”
“Holy fuck.” Sirius and James sputtered in unison. Remus, the first Marauder to grow up, to look ahead toward a post-Hogwarts family. Their wittle baby ‘Wemus was g'woing up.
Lily shrieked in a mix of excitement and shock. “When, how, how soon, where, do you need help? Fuck. Aren’t you worried about being too young, though? Oh my, oh my Merlin. Fuck, Moony, fuck.” And Remus could tell she was overwhelmed by the news, because Lily never called him Moony.
“It’s been five years, Lily,” Remus murmured, dropping his voice low enough that they had to strain to hear him over the mess of noise around them. “When I wake up, Y/N’s the first thing I think about. When I lay in bed at night, I replay all the times I saw her that day; marvel at how she looked, internally laugh at the cute little things she said. She’s the air that I breathe; she surrounds me; she comprises all that I am and all that I want to be. Y/N is the only soul on Earth who can make all my self-esteem issues fade into nothing. She is,” his voice faltered. “it.”
For a few moments, no one spoke, until Sirius cracked the quiet. “Then what in the name of everything holy is stopping you?”
Sheepishly, Remus ducked his head. “That’s the part where I fucked up. I didn’t want her to be suspicious of it, especially with all of her loved ones getting engaged, and whatnot. I wanted it to be spontaneous; to catch her off guard. I’ve been saving month’s worth of money to buy a ring, and last week, I finally bought it.”
“But-?” James gestured for Remus to carry on.
“But, Y/N brought up marriage a few days ago, and I panicked.”
“You, you panicked?” Lily was confused, not understanding what he meant by, 'he panicked’.
“I told her I didn’t know if I was the sort of guy to ever really see marriage in the cards. Basically, I-I think I may have told her that I never want to get married.” Remus was so ashamed, his cheeks burned as scarlet as the Hogwarts Express.
“Oh, dear lord. No wonder she’s been this way: she’s heartbroken! Remus, what the f-”
“Where’s the ring?” James cut Lily off, mid-chew out.
The ring hadn’t left Remus’s side from the moment he walked out of the shop with it. During classes, he tucked it into the pockets of his robes. At night, he slept with it inside his pillowcase. He knew that someday, it would technically be yours, but until the words of the proposal were out of his mouth, it was his most-prized possession.
“Here.” He patted his lap.
“How were you planning to do it?” James continued to probe.
“I’d rather not say.”
“Well, whatever you have in mind,” James pushed his plate off to the side, so he had the arm room to lean in closer to Remus. “I suggest that you go meet her and do it now, because Moony, the longer you wait, the harder it’ll get.”
Remus let his eyelids shut for a minute, trying to visualize how the scene would play out. His bones rattled with chills of fear. What if you said no? What if you got angry?
For the rest of the day and into the night, you avoided Remus. You skipped dinner and went straight to your dormitory, finishing up some pre-brewing questions for Potions, and a reading assignment for Transfiguration. Before your roommates came up to bed, you were out like a light.
At some obscene hour, you awoke to the touch of someone caressing your wrist. Before you could get any words out, a soft, calloused hand covered your mouth. Rem.
You wanted to melt under his skin, but had to remind yourself of last week’s wedding comments. He had no intentions of marrying you; this relationship was going nowhere for him. You might as well have broken it off, by now, for all it was worth.
“Come with me, darling.” He coaxed you from your bed, and smirked in the dark upon noticing your signature pyjamas: a baggy, mid-thigh t-shirt without any pants.
Your mind wanted to protest. It was so late at night; classes had to begin in a few hours. Falling asleep in class wasn’t an option – and Remus knew that. You wanted to argue him.
But you were so groggy; Remus was so fluffy; you craved to be in his arms.
“Fine.” You breathed, once he took his hand off your lips. It wouldn’t hurt you to go with him, really, right?
Your boyfriend led you down the staircase to the deserted common room. A single fire crackled in the lone fireplace on the far wall; otherwise, it was a ghost town.
“C'mere with me, my love.” Remus took both of your hands in his, and dragged you over to the nearest couch. Your favorite one of his flannels clung to his shoulders with the buttons undone, exposing a strip of bare skin down his chest and stomach. It took every ounce of your self-control not to just push the thin fabric off of him, right there.
You couldn’t, you had to remind yourself. No marriage, no point.
“Listen, my dear, I’ve made one hell of a mistake,” Remus, for the very life of himself, refused to break any eye contact with you. “I’ve told a terrible lie. Do you think you could forgive me?”
Your brain lurched into overdrive. “W-what did you lie about?”
He took a deep breath, and examined your face. The dark circles under each eye from not enough sleep, and just purely being human. The scar just above your left eyebrow, from where you tripped as a child, running after your grandma’s dog. The acne scattered across your forehead, the uneasy glimmer in your eyes.
His eyes trailed down to the slope of your collarbone, the delicacy of your skin. You looked fragile enough to be made of porcelain, in the dim light of the fire.
“Here, take this, you have to be freezing.” Unprompted, Remus slipped out of his flannel and reached around to drape it over your shoulders. He grinned at how massive it was on your petite frame.
“W-what di-d y-you lie a-about, Remus?” Your eyes were pleading with his, desperate for the truth to come out. Regardless of the flannel, regardless of how good he looked shirtless, you just wanted to know what was on his mind.
“W-well, Y/N, I don’t know how to go about this, so I suppose I’ll just,” he shifted off the sofa, to the floor, dropping to one knee. Your heart flew to your throat; you bit down hard on your lower lip.
He couldn’t be. No.
“Y/N, I love you more than I ever thought I could love anything. You’re the only person I could ever imagine kissing, laughing with, waking up beside, and spending the rest of my life with. ’M as far from perfect as possible, but when I am around you, baby girl, I feel like the best me I can be. You bring out the best of me – and I get the sense that maybe, I bring out one of the best sides of you. What I’m trying to say is that, I love you – I’ve always loved you. Marry me, please? Make me the happiest, luckiest guy aliv-”
“Yes, Remus!” You tossed yourself down into his arms, not even bothering to let him put the ring on your finger. Holding him was the most important thing you could think of. The ring would be exciting later, but for now, all that mattered was how he’d be yours, for as long as you both lived.
“Oh, Y/N.” He hummed into your hair, grasping you tight against him. “I love you, I love you so much. I’m so sorry for putting you through everything I did. I had just bought the ring when you mentioned getting married. It caught me so off guard, and before I could keep track, I made up that ridiculous lie. I’m so daft.”
You pecked his lips, arms wrapped tightly around his torso. “But you know what? You’re my daft fiancé.”
oooh also: all I can think is things that are stupid by rispacooper; lace and cream by moonkid28; The Pulse I Offer by Jalules; casual deviation from the norm by unadulterated-exasperation (demonicweirdo); Anti-inflammatory by Querulousgawks; to slip his golden fingers through by neslow; my luck could change by leetlebird. sorry for sending so many i am just very passionate abt this lol.
no worries!! this is great!!
(I think some of these switch POVs, and I have read most of them!!! Again, all great works. Also, always remember to check the tags on AO3 before you start reading!)
all I can think is things that are stupid by
Going over the river to the freshmen dorms; Dex thinks Nursey is coming down with something. Two things: 1. There’s an irony somewhere in going to check up on a kid named Nurse. 2. Dex is legit. furious at Nursey for not taking care of himself
Lace and Cream by
moonkid28 - Nursey buys Dex a pair of panties. Somehow, Dex wears them without him asking for it. Nursey is…. pleased, to say the least.
casual deviation from the norm by
unadulterated-exasperation (demonicweirdo) -
Nursey hooks his ankle around Dex’s, and watches those ears turn red, most likely from annoyance. “What’s your type?” His head comes up so quick that Nursey winces for his whiplash. “What?” He shrugs. “Your type, man.” “Type of what?” “Your blood type, Will. What the fuck do you think?”
The next time they get high together, Shitty is almost Law School Wisdom Shitty Knight. Derek has shared house dibs, a Frozen-Four-worthy defenseman pairing, and a notebook full of poems with titles like fine-wired and red as a dry fall and rule #1: only touch him if he’s already shaking. But other than that, things are pretty chill.
To Slip His Golden Fingers Throughby neslow -
There’s college and hockey and a big city for them to explore if they can get their act together. (After defining the line of friendship and something more, Nursey wants to take Dex home.)
Tilda Swinton’s language is as bewitching as her look. The ethereal Scot drops truisms like Jenny Holzer and evidences her claims in metaphors of nature, adventure, and lore. Life, as per Swinton, “is a wander through strange woods, whistling and following bread crumbs.” She plays. Not acts, plays. She’s played the widow of a high school shooter in We Need to Talk About Kevin, an adulterous Russian trophy wife in I Am Love, the White Witch of Narnia, David Bowie’s double, both man and woman in Orlando, and a too-dutiful general counsel in Michael Clayton. Most recently, she’s played an 84-year-old lover to Ralph Fiennes in Wes Anderson’s The Grand Budapest Hotel, a computerised therapist in Terry Gilliam’s The Zero Theorem, a dictator in Bong Joon-Ho’s sci-fi Snowpiercer, and 3000-year-old vampire, Eve, in Jim Jarmusch’s Only Lovers Left Alive. The latter role is most of what Swinton and I discussed in this interview, which was conducted via e-mail; she writing from her home in Scotland, me from mine in Brooklyn. This distance set my hypermediated imagination in overdrive – Tilda, to me, is both star and constellation: a singular artist, a self, but also a composite of every role she’s played. I pictured her in a stone chateau in the country of my forefathers, wrapped in tapestries like Eve, “Moonage Daydream” playing in the background.
[Interview by Fiona Duncan / Photo by Juergen Teller]
Lily surprisingly became friends with Sirius first, but the two of them would never call what they had a friendship until years later. It was third year, and Lily was up in the common room reading Muggle poetry. She was frustrated with Severus, and even more annoyed with Petunia. Nothing seemed to be going her way, so when in doubt, read poetry. That's how her mom always helped her feel better at home. It was late that night, and Lily was in her usual chair by the fire. She heard foot steps come up from the dorms, and she looked up from her book. Sirius Black came down and didn't even notice her. He sat at a desk and ran his hands through his hair. He looked distraught, and Lily swore she heard him sniffling. She had no idea what to do. She didn't try to talk to him, she just walked past him and casually put her book of poems on the desk. She felt Sirius look up at her, but he did not say anything. She went up the stairs, and when Sirius was not looking, she looked back down to see him reading her book of poems. This was a ritual every night that year, and although they never talked, they understood how to comfort each other.
Lily befriended Remus in her third year. They sat next to each other in Charms, but they did not talk much until one day after class. Remus was taking awhile to pack up, and Lily watched him closely. He seemed oddly pale and distracted. She waited until he was done packing up his things, and Remus was startled once he turned around to see that she was still there. She casually asked him what was wrong, but he was adamant that everything was alright. Lily was not one to push people, so although she knew he was lying, she dropped the topic. They walked down the hall together, and as Remus was turning the corner to head to the library, she grabbed the sleeve of his robe. She handed him a chocolate bar her mom sent her in the mail from back home and said, "Eat this, it helps." After that day, Remus would usually go to Lily to talk. They would sit by the lake and have a picnic, and they would always have a chocolate bar for dessert.
Lily always found Peter rather annoying until her fourth year. She would avoid him at all costs and roll her eyes whenever she saw him with James. She never understood why people were followers, and she felt like Peter did not have a mind of his own. Her friends, Sirius and Remus, were friends with Potter also, but she knew how they were without James. She never gave Peter a chance, and she regretted that once they did become friends. It was one night in the Great Hall. As usual, Lily was sitting with Severus, he was ranting about a letter his father sent him, and she was trying to comfort him. Severus loved Lily, and she knew that, but he always had a way of taking his anger out on her with his words. As she was trying to comfort him, he became defensive. He said some nasty things to her, and before she could even defend herself, Peter Pettigrew was suddenly by her side defending her. She had no idea where he came from, but she was too stunned to say anything. Shy little Peter Pettigrew spoke up and defended her? He wasn't following James around, and it appeared he had a mind of his own. Severus did not say much other than glare at Peter. He got up without a word. Lily did not follow him, and she knew he needed time to cool off. She looked up at Peter then and he was beat red. He sat down next to her, and he randomly brought up how he was into Muggle sci-fi. He asked her if she had any good recommendations, since she was Muggle-born. It was the first time she saw Peter being his own person, and she appreciated him very much.
Lily always loathed James, but she seemed to loathe everyone by her sixth year. She was no longer friends with Severus, and she had a rather negative outlook on the world. Her best friend betrayed her, her sister betrayed her, so who would be next? Lily was sitting by the lake painting one day, and she noticed her color schemes were becoming darker and darker. She hated that she was becoming so cynical, but she did not know how to cure it. Frustrated with her painting, she sighed heavily and threw her unfinished canvas in front of her. She suddenly heard James Potter's voice, and she turned around and he was alone. She rolled her eyes and started to gather her things to walk up to the castle. He was the last person she wanted to deal with. He asked her what was wrong, and she did not respond to him. He bent down and grabbed her canvas, it was covered halfway with black paint, and James had a confused look on his face. He asked her why her paintings had turned so dark, because he remembered them being so bright. She was taken aback by the fact that he would even notice her art, she hardly showed anyone. Before she even knew it, she was confiding in James Potter. She complained about her whole life, and once she was done, he jokingly offered to be a model for her paintings, to bring more life back into them. She actually agreed, and that's when she started to develop feelings for him. Painting every freckle on his face, every color in his eyes. Lily realized over time that James Potter truly was a work of art.
A few months ago I submitted some fan art to “Bates Motel” with the possibility of getting a “special gift” in the mail from Norman Bates. Got home tonight and this collectable guest book filled with fan art was waiting on the porch. How fucking cool is that?!