“Non mi voltare le spalle mai
nemmeno se ti spogli,
lo so che ti vergogni
E non mi lasciare da solo mai
dai, vieni a sederti vicino
fammi sentire che vivo
scaldami con un respiro
sappi che neanche il destino
è l'unico che ci dividerà
dalla follia dei miei giorni
strana fobia che non torni
l'anatomia dei miei sogni
vede soltanto la tua di schiena

COLUMN: Cate’s Top Ten

10 Songs for Unrequited Love

I like to think that when a band or singer puts out a song, they don’t think about what category the music fits into but rather what complex emotions their three minute song will evoke for the listener. For as long as I can remember I’ve always been drawn to songs that can so eloquently put into words feelings you could never properly verbalize. In other words, I am very much a lyrical person. I’ve realized just recently that the songs that strike the most in their lyrical abilities are usually ones that speak on the topic of unrequited love. The emotions that revolve around this entirely natural yet devastatingly heartbreaking roller-coaster of emotions are some of the hardest to write about. Everyone feels it. It is the rawness and honesty that surrounds the concept of unrequited love that have lead to some of my favourite songs. Some of which are listed below.    

1)    King Krule - Baby Blue

2)    Maiday - Wish You’d Met Me First

3)    Shannon Suanders - Atlas

4)    WAFIA - Let Me Love You 

5)    Bear’s Den - Sophie

6)    Sam Smith - Not In That Way

7)    Sky Ferreira - You’re Not the One

8)    Hozier - Do I Wanna Know (Arctic Monkeys cover)

9)    The 1975 - Fallingforyou

10) The Daylights - Quick Fix

Written by Cate, photography by Alana


Tell me that we’re too far gone

Tell me that  w e ’ l l  be  o k a y

Swear to God
I’d leave right now

If Heaven wasn’t so f a r  a w a y

Walk On Water → “Loneliness. Pain. Desperation. These things motivate you. What kind of person is motivated by these things? So much guilt, John Constantine.”

1. Love Me Dead - Ludo  2. Heads Up - Icona Pop  3. Jesus Etc. - Norah Jones  4. Small Town Heroes - Hurray For The Riff Raff  5. We Intertwine - Larkin Poe  6. Alone Together - Fall Out Boy  7. One Way (Feat. Mic Righteous & Maiday) - Naughty Boy  8. Younger - Seinabo Sey  9. Mourning Doves - Mikky Ekko  10. Walk On Water - Kat Dahlia  11. I Follow Rivers (The Magician Mix) - Lykke Li  12. Breaking The Law (Alternative Version) - Emeli Sande


“Aspetto qui su l’angolo del letto
seduto sui miei gomiti davanti a questo specchio
e alzo il volume dal telecomando dello stereo,
il tuo phon sembra un aereo.
E così ti spio dal riflesso del vetro
e scusami se cedo
in nome del mio ego,
Che sei la mia vergine come te lo spiego,
se è vero che proteggi me
da ogni mio segreto,
non mi voltare le spalle mai
dai, vieni a sederti vicino,
fammi sentire più vivo,
scaldami con un respiro
sappi che neanche il destino
è l’unico che forse ci dividerà
dalla follia dei miei giorni,
strana fobia che non torni,
l’anatomia dei miei sogni vede soltanto la tua di schiena,
ed io che la tocco appena
nella paura che se ti volti
girandoti ti dissolvi.”

- Briga, Schiena

Part of Me (Chapter 6- If You Met Me First)


Maiday- Wish You’d Met Me First


Taylor landed in London about 15 minutes ago and she was already thinking about visiting Karlie. If she was honest, she had been daydreaming about the next time they would see each other since Taylor got out of the car a couple weeks ago. They had talked almost every day since they met. When Karlie was at work she would text the blonde in between shots but Taylor liked it best when the model wrapped up early so they could talk on the phone. She preferred to hear Karlie’s voice. When Taylor realized that it scared her. She was in deep and she had no idea how to tell the younger girl. How do you even bring that up? Like, ‘hey I know we’ve haven’t even known each other for a month but I think I’m falling for you. Do you want to give this a shot? If not that’s cool can we still be best friends?’ That seemed terrifying. It was not going to happen. Not over the phone anyway. All Taylor knew was that she needed to see the model again, soon. She needed to sort out her feelings and make sure this wasn’t all in her head.

Taylor’s phone buzzed and her heart jumped. She quickly checked it hopping it was Karlie. It was Ed.

Hey, we still on for dinner today?

Taylor texted back.

Yeah I’ll meet you there.

Her phone buzzed again.

See you there.

Taylor shook her head. She shouldn’t have expected it to be Karlie. The model knew the singer was going to be in town but Taylor hadn’t told her specifics concerning her flight plans. How would Karlie know when she landed? Taylor decided to text the model.

Just touched down in London.

She held her phone in her hands and stared at it as they drove to the hotel. She felt like she was in high school waiting for a boy to call her. Except, she was 25 and it was a girl who just happened to be a gorgeous super model. No pressure though. Taylor tightened her grip on the phone hopping that Karlie would respond. By the time they pulled up to the hotel still nothing. The singer sighed and threw her phone into her purse and made her way through the paparazzi that had somehow already found out where she was staying. As soon as she reached her room she checked her phone again. Nothing. Taylor hopped into the shower. She needed to wash off the plane feeling before she had dinner with Ed.

It was only when Taylor was on her way to the restaurant that Karlie texted her back.

Welcome to London!

Taylor’s heart jumped. They were back in the same town together.

What are you up to? Taylor answered.

Just having a night in. I have a shoot tomorrow so I’m trying to prep for that.

Is that your way of telling me we can’t hang out? Taylor asked, her heart dropping.

No! We are totally hanging out. How about dinner tomorrow?

The singer smiled. Yes sounds perfect.

I’ll text you the address. See you there around 7?


Taylor sighed. Karlie just eased some of the fears about their relationship that had been swarming Taylor’s head. Now she could enjoy her dinner with Ed.

Taylor loved hanging out with Ed. He was always so relaxed and chill. He never gave Taylor any bullshit and always said what he was thinking. It was nice to have someone be straight up and blunt with you. It was people like that that kept Taylor grounded. They were just waiting for the check when Ed asked about her plans this week.

“Well I have a few studio sessions out here but other than that nothing big,” Taylor paused and then remembered. “Oh, and I have dinner with a friend tomorrow. Yup, that’s it.”

“Sweet. Who?”

“Karlie Kloss. I met her a few weeks ago.”

“Oh nice. I think I’ll probably see her in two days at Sam’s party, which reminds me,” Ed said taking a sip of his drink. “Sam is having a party. I was talking to him earlier today. He said you should come.”

If Karlie was going to be there so was Taylor. It would be the perfect way to introduce the model to her friends. But, apparently she already knew them. How though?

“I didn’t know Sam and Karlie knew each other,” Taylor said with question in her voice.

“I don’t think they know each other well but Cara and Sam are good friends and Cara and Karlie are dating so I just assumed.

Taylor must have heard wrong.

“Wait, explain that again.”

Ed furrowed his brows thinking that he’d been pretty clear.

“Sam and Cara are good friends, and Cara and Karlie are dating, so Karlie will probably go,” Ed repeated slower.

It felt like someone had punched Taylor right in the gut and she got the wind knocked out of her. The feeling of panic set in like a weight on her chest. A lump in her throat formed. This could not be happening. Ed was wrong.

“She never mentioned she had a girlfriend,” Taylor said trying to sound as calm and unaffected as possible.

“Yeah they’ve been dating for like two years or something,” Ed said looking around for the waiter who had still not brought the check.

“Two years?” Taylor choked out. Somehow the time made things worse. If Cara was such a huge part of Karlie’s life why hadn’t she told Taylor? How many other big things did the model neglect to tell her? Did she even know Karlie at all?

“Yeah they are like fucking British royalty. I’m surprised you didn’t know about it.”

“I just…I don’t read tabloids or stuff like that,” Taylor replied still trying to take it all in.

“Yeah and they are mostly English tabloids so I can see how you wouldn’t see that.”

“Yeah…” Taylor replied biting the inside of her lip to keep back tears she was angry were forming.

The waiter finally came and handed them the bill.

“Thanks,” Ed said and took his credit card. “So, you going?”

“What?” Taylor asked. She was long gone, lost in her thoughts.

“Are you going to Sam’s?”

“Uhh…” Taylor said hesitantly.

“Common, it’ll be fun. We never get to all party together.”

Ed was right. She should go. If she can’t handle it she could just leave.

“Why not.”

“Solid,” Ed said with a toothy grin.

After her dinner with Ed, Taylor went back to her hotel room. She had originally been in shock and now was going through something of a denial phase.

Ed must have misheard. Maybe they broke up and it wasn’t announced publically? That’s why Karlie didn’t talk about it. If there were something that big in her life she would have said something. There was no way that Taylor felt such a strong connection to Karlie and the model didn’t feel at, at least a little, back. At least enough to talk about her girlfriends of 2 years. For the first time in a long time Taylor decided to Google something about her friends. She never did this. She always wanted to hear it right from her friend’s mouths. If anyone knew how muddled information can get when it’s passed through the media, it’s Taylor. She was desperate though.

Karlie Kloss and Cara Delevingne. She typed into the search bar.

A whole list of articles popped up. She started to read them but a lot of the quotes were attributed to ‘a source’ which meant that it was in no way reliable. She became frustrated quickly with the poorly written articles and decided that pictures are worth 1000 words. If they were just pictured together it could be friends. If they were holding hands then just affectionate friends. Taylor was clutching to breaking strings of hope. She clicked on the picture tab and the computer was covered in pictures of the two models. Taylor couldn’t keep herself from smiling. Karlie was stunning in all of the images, even the candids. She scrolled a little and then one image stopped her in her tracks. She felt the same sensation she had in the restaurant only hours ago return. Taylor clicked on the image to enlarge it. There was no denying what it was.    

 She could no longer deny what it was. She looked at the date the picture was posted. It was a month before she had met Karlie. Something could very well have happened in between. Taylor decided to check their instagrams. Karlie’s last post was a picture of a passport and a plane ticket to London. It was captioned; Home is where the heart is. That was unsettling. Taylor decided to look at Cara’s profile. The last picture she posted was of her and Karlie. It was captioned with she’s coming home a kissy face emoji. Taylor looked at the date of the post. Two day’s ago.


After confirming Ed’s story, Taylor just felt like lying in bed and staring at a wall. She had passed the denial stage and was now pissed. How the fuck could Karlie neglect to tell her about something this big. The singer had told the younger girl so much. She told her about her heartbreaks, her family, her hopes and dreams. Karlie had listened and reciprocated but apparently not as much as she could have. Did Karlie not trust her? Did Karlie think this relationship wasn’t worth investing in? There was only one person to ask. Taylor picked up her phone and clicked on recently called. Her finger hovered over Karlie’s name. Taylor took a deep breath and threw the phone onto the bed. She had only known the model for a few weeks. She had no obligation to tell Taylor anything. Besides, Taylor had never spoken to the younger girl about her feelings. There was no reason for the blonde to be so pissed. Yet, she was. She was more than pissed. She was jealous.

Taylor grabbed her phone again and clicked on Cara’s instagram. She scrolled through pictures as if adding salt to the wound. Cara was beautiful as fuck. There is no doubt why she accompanied Karlie in the list of top models in the world. Not only was she gorgeous but she was also an actress who was staring in a couple big films, could play guitar, sing, and play drums. She was a badass beauty who was adorable and looked perfect next to Karlie. There was no denying that they looked like they were made for each other. Taylor wanted to hate her but she couldn’t. She would probably be friends with Cara had they met before. Now thought, she couldn’t look at Cara the same way. The actress had the one person that Taylor was desperately falling for. It was all timing. Had Taylor met Karlie 2 years ago would things be different? The singer couldn’t think like that. There was no going back. Taylor had to accept the truth. Yet, the constant thought that maybe Taylor could love Karlie more. Maybe if they had a chance together…maybe if they had met first.