magnitude is a wizard

The Signs as Weather Events

Aries: Volcanic eruption, Level: Mt. Vesuvius

Taurus: Earthquake, Magnitude: 5

Gemini: A whirlwind, Level: Wizard of Oz

Cancer: A thunderstorm in the afternoon, Level: Calming

Leo: Wildfire, Level: burns itself out –> just can’t stop

Virgo: An avalanche, Level: the tiniest thing can set it off

Libra: A thick gentle mist in the early AM hours

Scorpio: A gentle rain, perfect for cuddles by the fire

Sagittarius: Drought, Level: Dust Bowl

Capricorn: Hurricane, Level: Sandy

Aquarius: Tornado, Level: There’s No Chance For You

Pisces: Warm Day, Level: London

The apatosaurus was basically a slow-moving magnitude-4 earthquake. Paleontologist Philip Currie teamed up with Microsoft computer wizard Nathan Myrhvold to create a computer model of a living one, and together they found that the dinosaur’s extremely long, tapered tail could be whipped at supersonic speeds – a theory bolstered by the fact that the apatosaurus fossils they examined had an area of fused vertebrae near the end of the tail, indicating repeated stress. What does all this mean? Well, have you ever gone to a circus and seen a performer put on a show with a bullwhip? And do you remember the loud crack the whip made when snapped? That’s because the loop of the whip breaks the sound barrier and produces a miniature sonic boom. Now, take that crack and amplify it by a factor of apatosaurus.

Of course, other paleontologists say the bullwhip theory is a bunch of bunk, and to those paleontologists we say, “Shhh, it’s better this way. Some truths are not meant for man.”

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