magic star dust

Girls who like girls are so beautiful and magical and made of star dust and glitter and I’m so so proud of all girls who have recently realised that they’re lesbians and all girls who have been Gay™️ As Hell from birth also – I love you all with every single fibre in my body and you deserve the entire world and nothing less

One of my pet peeves about the Prequel Trilogy is the idea that Anakin Skywalker was a “virgin birth.”

Look, I know people like to sling around the term “immaculate conception."  This is wrong wrong wrong.  I’m Catholic; this is part of my catechism okay?  TL;DR - to be an immaculate conception is to be born without Original Sin (which is basically Adam and Eve eating the Forbidden Fruit, passing this Sin on to all generations of humankind) and that goes into a whole lotta complicated theology that we don’t have time to get into but basically – Immaculate Conception is NOT a Virgin Birth.   And unless we somehow have Catholic Jedi in the GFFA, this whole concept isn’t gonna make sense.

But I digress.

Seriously, how the hell did this work?  Did Shmi just wake up with a case of morning sickness, realize she’d skipped periods but knew she’d never had sex with another man?  (I shudder to think at the fridge horror here, considering her slave status).  Magic midi-chlorians suddenly gave her a baby?  Add water and stir?

Personally, I think it would have made a hella lot more sense if Shmi Skywalker’s husband/lover had been an ex-Sith Lord. 

Maybe he was actually trained at the same time Palpatine was, and Palpatine tried to kill him because of the ‘Rule of Two’ tradition.  And maybe, somewhere along the way, Darth Skywalker realizes that the Dark Side is ultimately weak, because it is rooted in greed and fear and selfishness and anger and hate. 

And maybe he realizes that to use the Force is to achieve a balance in oneself - to be able to wield this kind of power to destroy but also to create.  To be able to deal with death, but also to save lives.  To understand that love isn’t a weakness - it is strength. 

So yeah, maybe he falls in love with a Shmi who was still free and hopeful and they flee to make a life of their own, on their own rules.  But tragedy strikes while Shmi is pregnant with their son and ex-Darth Skywalker is killed and Shmi can only tell her son stories about his father and hopes, one day, to tell him the truth about his past. 

But the Jedi come and Shmi holds her silence and her secrets and she lets them take her son, for the sake of his future and is sadly disappointed when the great Jedi don’t bother to return for a boy’s mother, to free a slave woman.  She’d thought, perhaps, the Jedi were better than that - her husband had spoken, half mockingly, half admiringly - of the "goodness” of these Light Side Force Users.

Shmi can survive, though and she builds a life of her own and finds love again with Cliegg Lars and waits and waits and waits for her Anakin to return, so she can tell him the truth about his father.  The things that the Jedi cannot know, could never teach him. 

Except Shmi is taken by the Tusken Raiders and there is not enough time, and it’s counted out in gasps and whispers and last words of love. 

Shmi dies with her story untold.

—  Stupid Midichlorians, A Blanket Fort Headcanon