magic cell phone

  • Regina: So you're just gonna ride that deathtrap of a motorcycle into a portal to God knows where?
  • Henry: Relax, I'm bringing my cellphone.
  • Regina: Your cellph--do you think there's gonna be cell service wherever you're going? And even if there is, how are you gonna charge it?
  • Henry: I'll figure something out.
  • Regina: And, while we're on the topic, how far do you think you're gonna get on one tank of gas? Did you think this through at all?
  • Henry: Don't worry. Things always worked out for Grandpa and Grandma.
  • Regina: I don't know which set you're talking about but absolutely no one related to you got to even a semblance of a happy ending without enough trauma to keep a team of psychiatrists employed for years.
  • Henry: Everything's gonna be fine.
  • Regina: I think I'm having a stroke.

Some Lunoct (noctuna? What’s the tag??)! Cause @angelic-guardienne inspired me!
It’s a happy modern AU

Bravery was something Noctis often wondered about. Was he brave? Did anyone who knew him think he was brave?

Because at that moment, standing by the baggage claim at the airport, waiting for Luna to appear, he didn’t think he was brave.

His hands were sweating, he kept them tightly clenched, his stomach was tight and it was making him nauseous.

He was trying to think of all the words he wanted to say when he saw her again. But he knew seeing her would knock all thought out of his head.

How couldn’t it? It had been over a decade since they last saw each other. Emails were shared between them, he’d hoped for video calls, instant messages, more. But in the depths of Tenebrae, surrounded by nature and magic, cell phone signal and wi-fi often fell short.

What did her voice sound like now? Had the shade of her hair changed at all? Prompto’s pale blond hair had become more vibrant since their youth, maybe hers had too.

There was so much he was anxious to take in, the sight of her, the sound.

What if he was too overwhelmed when he saw her? Have her first sight of him since the long past days of their childhood be of him making a fool of himself.

“You alright there buddy?” Prompto leaned into his peripheral.

He had tried so hard to make himself believe he could meet her alone. She was courageous enough to fly all the way from her home by herself to see him, surely he could handle waiting for her alone?

But he couldn’t, all his imaginings of him bravely waving at her as she appeared turned to dust.

So he’d brought his friends.

“Bracing himself probably.” Gladio guessed while Noctis remained too far in his head.

“Lady Lunafreya should have passed through customs by now, I imagine she’ll appear shortly” Ignis glanced at his watch.

Within a few minutes a wave of passengers arrived as predicted.

“Oh! Hey Big Guy help me with the sign!” Prompto began unrolling the sign he’d prepared.

Gladio raised the sign over his head, unashamed of the shimmering, sparkling ‘Luna’ written lovingly against the sheet.

Ignis’ hand on his shoulder was the only thing stopping Noctis from deciding he had to go to the bathroom and never return.

“Think I see her.” Gladio announced.

Noctis stopped breathing, there she was, hair as golden as he remembered. She was fussing with the bangs that fell into her eyes while simultaneously trying to arrange the dense coat she was wearing.

She looked-


Stumbling along tiredly with a stuffed carry on slung over her shoulder while trying to manage some kind of royal grace that he had long since given up on attempting himself.

“Go take her bag for her.” Gladio nudged him forward.

She still hadn’t looked up to notice the gaudy sign.

“Yeah, I got it.” Noctis grumbled and moved through the crowd of people waiting for their own friends and loved ones.

Saddling up beside her quietly, he put a hand on her shoulder.

He could do this, he could look brave and put together, if only for this moment.

“Need a hand Princess?”

Her quiet scream caught him off guard as she flung her bag away from him, as did the following cry of elation when she took in his face.

“Noctis!” she greeted him, a great smile lighting up her features. It made her look not exhausted.

Noctis let out an anxious laugh and a shaky smile as he took her bag into his hand

“Long time no see.”

She leaned in with red cheeks and an embarrassed smile and embraced him

“Much too long.”

  • Bog: "Hey, Marianne?"
  • Marianne: "Yeah?"
  • Bog: "Where are ye?"
  • Marianne: "In the kitchen!"
  • Bog: *comes in* There ye are! Listen, I can't find my phone anywhere. Will ye call it fer me, please?"
  • Marianne: "Sure." *takes out her cell and dials Bog's phone*
  • Bog: "..."
  • Marianne: "..."
  • Bog: "..."
  • Marianne: "..."
  • Marianne: *deadpan* "Really?"
  • Bog: *grinning* "Yup!"
  • Marianne: "You're a dork." *leaves the room*
  • Bog: *sings and dances down the hall after her* "Ow, she's a brick house! Well put-together, everybody knows! This is how the story goes..."

Wishes from Main Street USA by joe diebold


What. Is. THAT? Seriously. The phones that are in these dramas can do almost EVERYTHING. It’s insane.

“Nageki!! You get in the picture too!”
“I don’t think that’ll work, Miss Tosaka.”
“Sure it will, it’s a magic camera, right Anghel?”
“Edel Blau speaks the truth, the spirit camera shows the world beyon–”
“It’s your cell phone.”
“It’s a magic cell phone! Smile!”

In which Hiyoko has to crouch to share the frame with tiny birthday bird  ( ˘⊖˘)

I love this friendship group a   l o t…  (◉Θ◉) i mean, we know Anghel didnt really have any friends until Hiyoko, so I bet his previous birthdays were a little lonely…

My Receipt Was Not Good Enough

On my second day in the new town, I went to Best Buy to buy a telephone. In the store, I asked a salesperson, “Do you have old fashioned telephones as opposed to cellular phones?” He knew exactly what I meant and pointed me in the right direction.

I have a landline in my new apartment because, turns out, my cell phone connection is really shitty in this place. I will never know that phone number but the phone I bought will magically connect to my cell phone. I haven’t set it up yet but I did read the box thoroughly. 

I like electronics. I’m alone in a new town. My impulse control is nonexistent.

After I picked up a phone, I saw a PlayStation 4 and I thought, man, I want one so I bought one, and there was some promotion going on where a video game called Killzone, I think, was free! I like free things.

I paid for everything with a friendly salesperson in the video game area because that’s what you have to do with certain items. Then I went to the bathroom and then I headed for the front of the store. Now, the game was still in its security case. When I got to the front, I showed my receipt for the case to be removed. The young man studied my receipt like it was the most important document he had ever seen. My skin started prickling because I knew something really frustrating was about to happen. I just knew. Anyone who has been racially profiled knows that feeling.

He set the receipt down, still holding on to my bag of purchases, and called for the salesperson who had sold me my stuff. 

I have NEVER in my life experienced something like this. My receipt was right there. My purchases were plainly identified. For whatever reason, that was not proof enough?  I asked him what the problem was and he ignored me. I asked to speak to a manager and he ignored me. He literally acted like I was not there. I was calm and quiet. I shouldn’t even have to note my demeanor but nonetheless, there it is. An older couple strolled out of the store, set off the alarm, and he quickly deactivated the security device on their purchase and waved them out of the store so that was also infuriating.  Because I thought he might have been confused, I explained that the video game was part of a promotional package I had purchased. He ignored me. All the while, I was on Twitter because I was so frustrated. I was kind of vague about what I was buying and later this would become a Thing because people are the worst. I was being vague because I was embarrassed to be 39 years old, buying a Play Station. I felt guilty for being so consumeristic. I am struggling with no longer being broke all the time and what that allows me to do. I was also feeling awkward because I only use my Play Station 3 to watch movies and Netflix and play Lumines so the purchase felt extra ridiculous.  (As an aside, this makes my brothers so mad and I like that part.) There’s no fucking conspiracy here. I just didn’t feel like telling the Internet what I was buying. Meanwhile, in the store, the young man kept requesting the salesperson who made my sale on the intercom. This went on for quite some time. He continued to ignore me. During this entire exchange, I don’t think he said a single word to me. It was like I wasn’t even there.  The salesman finally came to the front of the store and verified  I had indeed made this purchase. He pointed to the video game and said, “That is on the receipt,” and the young man said, “I know, but…”   Let me repeat: My receipt was not good enough. I have never heard of needing to have a salesperson verify a purchase when a receipt has been proffered but I shouldn’t be surprised. The rules are always different when shopping/driving/walking/existing while black. The experience was particularly galling because this happened over what was both a significant and an insignificant amount of money.  Finally, he removed the security case from the video game and handed me my receipt which I snatched out of his hand because I finally had enough. I said, “I just spent $700 dollars in this store. Are you serious?” And I walked out. He still had not acknowledged or spoken to me. It was humiliating to stand there, being treated like a common criminal, everyone staring like you’ve done something wrong. Racism was absolutely at work. Some conservative website picked up my tweets and for the past day, I’ve received all manner of bullshit. The e-mails I’ve received are appalling. The tweets directed at me are appalling. There are a great many amateur investigators wanting me to explain the situation in detail. They are contorting themselves to find a reason why race was not a factor in this situation. Then there are the people with their “race card” jokes, and the homophobes and the jokers who talk about how they have been asked to show their receipts and they’re white so they, too, must be victims of racism. It would be more frustrating to deal with if these people weren’t so banal and predictable. 

One person asked, “Who is Roxane Gay?” Who indeed? I could drop some science on who I am (see: New York Times, NPR, The Guardian), but for the sake of this incident, I am just a woman who was trying to waste her money in peace.

A reporter from CNN asked if I wanted to do a phone interview about the incident and I declined. I was venting on Twitter, not trying to be part of a news story. I was venting on Twitter because the situation was infuriating BUT I was still mindful of how privileged I am. I was mindful that racial profiling happens every single day, in far more distressing ways. I was mindful of Trayvon Martin and Renisha McBride and Eric Garner who lost their lives to racial profiling. Of course I was venting on a social network. It was the appropriate venue for being angry about a trifling incident of racial profiling.  I am not writing this to explain myself. Know that. 

anonymous asked:

I'm trying to figure out the magic in my fantasy story, but I can't decide on a few points... First off, should the limits of the magic be specific to an individual, or would it be the same for all? And what sort of energy should it run on- physical or mental? How would each affect the user's daily life and interactions with others? I would like to know your opinions if you have time spare.

This is more questions about what you want to do with your setting and story. Magic is a lot like the politics of your world; it needs to exist in service of what you’re trying to say.

So, the first question would be, why is there even magic in your setting?

You can write an entirely functional fantasy setting without magic. And, if it serves no purpose, adding a magical system in, “because it’s supposed to be there,” can potentially cause havoc for your story and worry open new plot holes. After all, a heroic sacrifice looses a lot of its poignancy when you can just reverse it with five thousand gold worth of diamonds, and a mid level cleric.

If the magic exists for a reason, then that will start to answer some of your questions. For example, if you’re wanting to do an ecological commentary, then applying a physical cost for your spells makes sense. Or if you want characters digging through ancient ruins that are still loaded with mystical traps from another era. But, if you want ascetic nomads to be practicing magic as part of their journey towards enlightenment, then physical components make less sense.

Also, that’s not ironclad. D&D’s Dark Sun setting had a heavy ecological theme, with mostly mental spellcraft. It also had a distinction between arcane magic, which depleted the world, and psionic abilities which didn’t.

Generally speaking, I’d discourage having separate magical rules for individual characters. Just balancing multiple magical systems against each other to keep some kind of sanity in your setting can be a nightmare. Of course; I say this right after citing D&D, which, depending on how you count, uses four or five different magical systems.

That said, if there’s a compelling reason one of your characters operates under distinct rules from the rest, that will dictate their limits. The obvious example is, if your magic is legalistic and has sharp boundaries. It’s possible your characters can step outside those, under the right circumstances. The example from Tolkein that comes to mind is that “no man” could kill the Witch King of Angmar (the leader of the Ringwraiths). But, that protection didn’t help when Eowyn shanked him. (Technically, in the novel, the term is “No living man may hinder me,” which sounds more like a boast, but the idea is still there.)

You could easily end up with prohibitions that prevent some group like “mortals”, “humans”, or any other group from accessing kinds of spells, that could still be sidestepped simply by having a character who isn’t human, mortal, or whatever. The danger is you’re creating a character who is “special” simply for the purpose of being awesome. But, if there’s a legitimate reason for one of your characters to have access to some restricted field of magic, it’s certainly an option.

And, yes, having something to say about “special” wish fulfillment characters can be a legitimate reason, just tread carefully, if that’s the case.

There’s no right answer to how magic should impact day to day life. Again, this is one of these setting building questions. There’s nothing inherently wrong with Warhammer’s approach to magic as a rare and fundamentally dangerous thing that has the potential to go horribly wrong without warning, or with Exalted’s First Age, where magic is basically a substitute for highly advanced technology.

The more widespread magic is in your setting, the more people will view it like technology. If it’s familiar and predictable, then they’ll understand it (at least as part of their world, not at a technical level.) The more restricted and rare magic is, the more they’ll fear and misunderstand it.

If you have a setting where magic is rare and misunderstood, you can easily end up with a situation where you have characters who do “break the rules” with magic. They aren’t, really, but your characters have an imperfect or limited understanding of what is actually possible.

Conversely, if you have a setting where everyone has a magical analog to a cell phone in their pocket, having a character who can do something that’s “impossible” with magic is a lot less likely.

Your choice on where you land with this will be determined by what you want to say. If you’re talking about magic as a surrogate for something else then that will inform what you need to think about. A setting where you’re using magic as a venue to talk about transhumanism it will look completely different from one where you’re focused on state surveillance, and using scrying and augury to talk about that.

The thing I’m going to stress is, magic needs to exist in service of your story and the setting you’re trying to create. Normally, I’d say your setting also needs to exist in service to your story, but there are a few exceptions to that.

For recommendations, I’d start with looking at games that focus on how magic interacts with the world, rather than just fining ones with iron clad rules.

Mage: The Ascension from White Wolf is probably one of the best basic toyboxes for unlimited mages. Characters who simply reshape the world as they see fit, with the cost that if they push too far, they’ll be slapped down by the world. You can ignore the part where the setting is technically urban fantasy, if you want. It’s also a good example of characters with multiple conflicting magical systems trying to understand one another’s powers. Though, this is more apparent if you’re familiar with the other games in the setting.

Exalted, also from White Wolf, is a high fantasy setting that leans into pseudo-anime territory. There’s some interesting world building, and delineation between different kinds of magic. If you really want to write a story about a super-special-snowflake of doom, take a look at this. There’s some good recommendations for how people would actually respond to people randomly getting superpowers.

Shadowrun probably sounds like a weird choice, but almost any iteration of this (except the Xbox 360 title) should offer some things to think about. The basic premise is that magic returned to a cyberpunk setting and upset everything. If you’re setting your story around a magical renaissance, this will give you some interesting things to pick through. (Quick Note: I’m linking Second Edition because of its price, not because it’s better than the later editions.)

Dungeons and Dragons has a few settings that do some interesting things with magic. I’m a little hesitant to flat out recommend it, because of the amount of reading required to get conversant in the systems. But, dig up a wiki entry on Dark Sun and Eberron if you want to see some settings to poke for ideas.

Similarly, reading up on Warhammer and Warhammer 40k’s mages and psykers (respectively) might not be a bad idea. Also, read up on Chaos and The Warp while you’re there, since that’s fundamental information for how magic functions in those settings.

Robert E. Howard’s Conan original short stories are one of those things you really should read. As with H.P. Lovecraft, there’s some stuff that’s going to be a bit off key to a modern reader, but Howard’s efficiency of language is something you need to see. He presents magic as an unknowable horror that corrupts anyone who tries to wield it. So, if you’re working with a setting where magic is poorly understood, his work is worth your time.

If you want to blend some urban fantasy elements into a classic historical setting, I’d strongly recommend you take a look at Fritz Lieber’s Fafhrd and The Gray Mouser novels. If you want, Dark Horse reprinted a comic adaptation of a few of the short stories with amazing art from Mike Mignola a few years ago. The comic is also, probably, the most painless entry point to the characters.

Andrzej Sapkowski’s Witcher novels are fairly subtle about the consequences of magic… well, sometimes. Sapkowski is an author who has a lot to say, and it shows in his world building, and his world’s magical systems.