magic 8 balls

Season 4 Gothic
  • The baby does not exist. The baby has never existed. It is a manifestation of your inner fears. It has never looked at you. Now, it turns to face you. It has no face. It is a yellow spray-painted smiley.
  • There is a new promo picture. Is it a new promo picture? You are not sure. You lost track after the broken violin.
  • It is one in the morning. You check a UK time zone map. Perhaps the episodes have already been released. You are wrong. They will never be released.
  • Everything is Mind Palace, except when it isn’t. You use your Magic 8 Ball to decide which scenes are real. Why do you have a Magic 8 Ball? You do not know. You have no memory of anything from the night the “I love you” trailer came out.
  • It is possible that during that night you murdered Steve Thompson. There is no Steve Thompson.
  • You are Steve Thompson. This explains much.
  • The smiley is everywhere. It stares into your soul with piercing yellow eyes. It knows you posted wank last night. It knows everything.
  • The smiley knows the plot of season 4. At this very instant, meta writers are interrogating it in the basement. No material is left un-analyzed.
  • Arwel Wyn Jones is watching you. He shows you an elephant. You hate the elephants. You are inescapably drawn to them. There are elephants everywhere. There is a small elephant statue on the counter in front of you. “Softly, softly,” it whispers. Its face is spray-painted yellow.
  • You drown out your fear in tea. You realize that this is inaccurate according to the drinks code, and switch to hard liquor. This does not help.
  • Your teacup has turned into an elephant.
  • You have written a meta. You do not remember writing the meta. It is four pages long. Last week it was one page long. Next week it will be longer than A Study in Scarlet.
  • You have forgotten the feeling of sunlight. Season 4 will be the darkest yet. A connection! You write a meta.

Part II

Ask Again Later

When Peridot finds a Magic 8-ball in an old storage trunk in the barn, she believes she can predict the future with it. Garnet hears about Peridot’s newfound “clairvoyant” abilities, causing her to unfuse, and an insulted Sapphire challenges Peridot to a “precog-off” with a confused Pearl, an enthused Steven and a half-interested Lapis serving as judges. Will Peridot come out on top, can Ruby tip the odds in Sapphire’s favor from behind the scenes or will dark horse entrant Amethyst and her box of fortune cookies bust the wheel of fate?

spooky asks!!

👻: have you ever seen a ghost?
💀: if you could choose how you’d die, would you? What would your ideal death be?
👽: do you Believe?
👁: are eyes the window to the soul…or something else?
🦇: favorite creatures (real or myth) that go bump in the night?
🦉: are you a mothman fan?
🕷: spider killer or catch and release?
🐾: ever found any suspicious footprints? if yes, what do you think they where? if no, do you believe in Bigfoot? why or why not?
🌑: do you believe the full moon has supernatural powers?
🎱: do you believe in fortune tellers? have you ever trusted a magic 8 ball?
⚰️: who’s a dead person you’d love to speak to? bonus points if there’s a conspiracy about them that says they aren’t dead! i.e. Elvis, Tupac, etc.
🖤: favorite cryptid?

guys, go and follow @maddening8ball on twitter. they use poetry and pose lines as questions with magic 8 ball answers and it’s oddly soothing. OH and they actually provide credit. follow follow. they make me feel calm.