You lay sprawled across the couch at six in the evening, your hand loosely holding the heavy weight of your phone, which hadn’t buzzed for hours. It was your one year anniversary, and Ethan hadn’t so much as bothered to text you. You had drifted into an uneasy sleep when you heard pounding at the front door. Startled awake, you yawned wide and skipped over to the door, rubbing at your eyes as you pulled it open. Through your bleary vision you saw something red…roses?
“Hey, baby,” Ethan smiled brightly.
“E?!” you gasped, leaping into his open arms and burrowing your head into his shirt. Your legs came around his waist, his arms holding you tight as you sobbed into him, Ethan cooing softly and running his fingers through your hair.
“What are you doing here?” you whispered in astonishment as he placed you gingerly back on your feet.
“Surprising my beautiful girlfriend on our anniversary,” he said simply, brushing a thumb over your cheek and swiping off a tear.
“But, wh- I thought you forgot?! You didn’t talk to me the entire day, I-” you stumbled.
“Well, I didn’t want you to know what I was doing, it would’ve ruined it!” Ethan laughed, stepping through the door frame. He moved to the counter and set the roses gently down before turning to look you over.
You hadn’t moved.
“Awe,” Ethan whined, “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you’d be so sad,” he said, extending his arms out for you.
You stepped numbly into his embrace, your head spinning.
“I can’t even begin to describe how awful today felt,” you whispered into the crook of Ethan’s neck. “I thought I did something wrong, I couldn’t figure it out, I thought you were thinking of leaving me…”
Ethan placed his cheek against your head, “I’m so sorry, (Y/N), I should’ve told y-”
Suddenly he stopped, his grip loosening momentarily.
“Ethan?” you said, pulling your head up and staring into his hazel eyes, which were fixated distinctly on something across the room.
“What did you do today?” he asked softly.
“I-why?” you said, taken aback.
“Just, tell me,” he murmured, his voice low.
“Um, I waited around for you to call this morning, and when I realized it wasn’t happening, a friend came over and spent a couple hours with me. I had to take my mind off, well, you,” you spoke truthfully.
“Did anyone else come?” Ethan asked, releasing you, and moving towards the couch.
“No? Why? Ethan, what’s going on?”
Ethan scooped low and spun around, holding out a men’s jacket, his jaw clenched in frustration.
“Want to tell me the truth this time?” he said, barely audibly.
Your cheeks flushed pink in embarrassment, “I did. Seriously Ethan, nothing happened.”
“Let me guess,” Ethan said, tossing the jacket down in disgust. “This ‘friend’ of yours came over when he heard we were having problems, that he came to ‘consolidate’ you.”
“Wha-yeah, but that was it, we ate food and watched TV, nothing else,” you said, starting to feel irritated.
Ethan made a move towards you, his hands coming flying to your wrists as he pulled your face close to his.
“God,” he muttered in frustration, his nostrils flaring in anger, “Don’t you see it?”
Your voice trembled as you shook your head pathetically, your grip on reality spinning as you drowned in his overpowering scent.
“I can’t leave you alone, not like this,” he growled softly.
“Ethan, please,” you begged, trying to pry his fingers off of you.
“You don’t understand,” he started, “what it’s going to be like for me when I leave now. The thought that some other guy is going to have his dirty hands all over my girlfriend, the thought of you letting him, the fact that I won’t be there to even stop it, it’s going to consume me, (Y/N).”
“Ethan,” you snapped suddenly, pulling his hands off your wrists, “are you hearing yourself right now?! This guy is just my friend, and even if he tried doing anything I would never let it happen! But the fact that you think I would…t-that hurts.” you said, taking a step back.
“I don’t know, (Y/N),” he sighed in exasperation, “I believe you now, but I’m going to be gone for months, which is more than enough time for someone else to see what I see in you and take advantage of the fact that you’re all alone!”
“You’re all alone.”
…You’re all alone
And you were.
You were all alone.
Your mouth fell open, your eyes brimming with salty tears as you shook your head in pain, your lower lip trembling. Ethan realized his mistake, but it was too late.
“(Y/N),” he begged softly, “I didn’t mean-”
“No,” you stopped him, “I get it, and you’re right. You wanted to go on tour with Grayson, and despite the fact that it meant my presence would be replaced with that of thousands of lovesick girls, I still supported you all the while. Because you see, I thought that if you could be apart from me, that I could make the sacrifice too. But you’re right…you have Grayson, & you’re fans, and I have nobody.”
“Baby, I’m sorry,” he gulped nervously, taking a step closer.
A crystal droplet rolling down your cheek, you extended your arm, preventing him from coming any closer, “Don’t.”
“Just, let me-” he begged, his dark locks falling over his forehead.
“We knew the risk we were taking when we decided to stay together despite the tour,” you said, your eyes fluttering closed. “You can’t even begin to imagine how much I hurt without you.”
“I know, (Y/N), believe me, I know. And you’ve been so brave, and so strong…” he replied.
“Have I, though?!” you cut him off, your eyes opening to meet Ethan’s somber gaze. “I break, a little bit more, every day. I cry myself to sleep, wishing you were next to me. I get anxious wondering how much better you are without me. But then I stop, and I remember how happy you are, and that is the only thing that’s been keeping me going. But it’s great to know that you think I would stoop low enough to turn on you after everything we’ve been through,” you gasped, your last few words coming out through a sob, the taste of your own tears prominent as they slipped between your lips.
Ethan took in a deep breath, his jaw clenched.
You looked him up and down, anger bubbling steadily in your chest.
“Tell me you trust me enough to walk out this door right now, knowing nothing bad will happen,” you hissed quietly, “and I’ll forgive you.”
Ethan’s chest shook softly as he opened his eyes, which were brimming with moisture. His skin glowed under the fluorescent lighting, his lips parted, “I-I want to…”
You shook your head, your arm dropping in defeat, “but you can’t.”
Ethan looked at you with such sadness that it took everything you had to utter your next words, “get out.”
He shook his head frantically, tears rolling down his cheeks, “no,” he pleaded.
“No,” he said with more force this time. “I’m not done.”
“Well I am,” you said, turning your back and walking away from him to hide your immense pain. “I’m done, Ethan.”
“Done with-” he began.
“Done with us,” you finished, holding back the tears that clawed for freedom behind your shut eyelids.
“Wha-” he said, taken aback, “No…no.”
You only shook your head.
“No, I-I can’t,” his voice cracked, his hands coming over his face, “please don’t do this, please don’t.”
“It was a mistake thinking we could do this. I didn’t want to let you go, so I held on to this alternate reality where we were happy, but I should have let go already…” you whispered. “It’s more than just a stupid jacket, Ethan. I’ve been holding you back from doing what you love.”
“No,” he said again, his hand on your shoulder, “please, j-just, talk to me.”
You turned around, your eyes opening, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.
“E, if you care about me, you’ll leave,” you said, staring into the fabric of his tee.
“Look me in the eyes, and tell me you want me to go,” he murmured, his fingers brushing your loose hairs behind your ear. Just the touch of his fingers was enough for you to almost take it all back. You looked into his unblinking hazel eyes, which were inches from your own.
“I want you to go,” you said, your voice unwavering.
You could see his heart shattering into a million pieces, right in that moment.
He turned to move towards the door, and you had to face away to prevent yourself from stopping him. There was the sound of footsteps clacking on the wooden floor, and then the door slamming loudly shut. You raised your head, stunned to see Ethan still standing there.
“No,” he said bluntly, his sadness replaced by anger, “not until I get to talk.”
He advanced on you so quickly that you went stumbling back, your backside hitting the wall.
“I’m not giving up on us,” he growled, pulling close to you.
“This isn’t your choice to make-” you breathed.
He took a final step, his two hands making contact with the wall, his arms caging you in. You could feel his breath on your face, and your heart faltered, your head turning to avoid his eyes.
“You’re right,” he said, “it’s our choice. We’re supposed to figure this out together.”
“Nothing you say will be able to change the truth,” you whimpered, “this isn’t working. We keep trying to hold onto something that’s already gone.”
“DON’T SAY THAT,” he yelled his fists slamming so hard into the wall that you flinched and began crying again.
You turned to look at him through your bleary vision, “Ethan…”
“Why is it so easy for you to throw this all away?” he hissed, his nostrils flaring.
“Ethan,” you begged, your chest rattling.
“TELL ME,” he demanded, his eyes growing dark, his chest pressing into yours.
You gasped out for air, embracing the tears that came, “IT’S NOT,” you screamed. “I-it hurts…” You sunk to the floor, hitting the ground and burrowing your head between your knees, your cheeks wet. A silence hung in the air, broken only by the sound of your muffled cries.
You knew he was still there, you just knew it.
You blinked at Ethan, crouched in front of you, his lips bent downwards in sadness. He slowly raised the back of his hand to your cheek, his knuckles brushing lightly against your skin, the feeling causing your heart to miss a beat. His hand trailed upwards, his thumb brushing your tears quickly off before skimming across your face and tracing your features softly. Eventually, his thumb came to your lower lip, where he tugged ever so gently. You raised your eyes to his, hating yourself for how much control he had over you. He moved in slowly, his head tilting as his lips gently made contact with yours. A single tear trailed down his bronzed cheek and onto your lips. His right hand held your face firmly to his, his chest heaving softly as he held you like that, and all the time in the world would not have been enough for how long you wanted to stay in his hold. He pulled back a long moment later, his hand falling to his side, his head drooping in understandment.
“What was that?” you whispered.
You could feel him moving away, but you couldn’t bear to watch him leave your side. A moment later, his voice came, barely audibly, from across the room.
WO MY GOD I JUST HIT 1k WHAT THE ACTUAK FUCK 😱😱 , thank u guys so much for following my awful page if you ever need to talk to someone just slide in my inbox hahaha 😂 and don’t be afraid to ask stuff no but for real tho i love you and you are beautiful ❤️ #bromieomies
Ps: i am wondering if i should reveal my face to you guys i don’t know 🤔
Reader is best friends with Grayson and Ethan, and gets one fleeting day to meet them for the first time, during which time Grayson struggles with the fact that he is helplessly in love with her.
photo creds: sensualkisses.tumblr.com
Funnily enough, you had met Grayson online. You’d messaged him expecting no response, but for some reason, he did reply. And then he replied again, and again, and now you were best friends, who until today, had never met. He was on tour at the moment, and as much as you’d told him you were so excited for him, a part of you did feel heartbroken knowing that there was no way the twins would ever stop where you lived, nobody ever did. But after the international dates were released, your city had been sneakily added after the release of the list, and it would be the last stop.
You were first meeting them at their meet and greet, which meant that all your past months worth of wishful longing were coming true, and you were going to have to mask your bubbling joy and act semi-normal. The girl in front of you finished her turn, and Ethan and Grayson waved her off politely before spinning in sync to meet the next person, you. They had to play it off like you were any other fan, but it didn’t take a genius to see their dumb grins grow twice the size when they saw you. You zoomed forward, both twins opening their arms for you at the same time, the conflict startling you momentarily, but you went for Gray first. Grayson slinked his arms tightly around your waist, pushing you firmly into his rippled chest, your face buried into the crook of his bronzed neck. He smelt of fresh laundry and overpowering cologne, his breath tingling of mint.
“I wanted to say thank you in person,” you whispered faintly into his ear.
“What do you mean?” Grayson said through a clenched smile, swaying the hug left to right.
“I know you added this tour stop for me,” you smiled into his skin.
Sure, fans in your city had been thrilled to hear they were coming, but the fanbase itself certainly wasn’t booming almost nearly as much as at their other stops, it just seemed a little odd.
Grayson’s cheeks flushed faintly as he squeezed your waist, “I wanted to see you, so why not add another stop?”
You giggled and released him, “We-”
“Are you gonna talk to Grayson all day, should I just give up now?” Ethan said, his arms still weakly outstretched, his lips pouting.
You snorted and leaped into his arms, your legs coming snugly around his waist.
“Sorry E,” you smiled.
Ethan’s pout faltered a little, “I’ll forgive you if you gimme a ki-”
You shut him up and dropped a kiss on his cheek, your eyes fluttering closed as you felt him smile under your lips.
“Forgiven,” Ethan did his ‘I’m hilarious’ grin, and plopped you back down, his eyes lifting and his smile wavering for a second.
You raised an eyebrow in confusion and turned to G, swearing for a second that you glimpsed…jealousy? Oh well, you shook it off quickly.
You took your picture and and got a hug goodbye, parting with an almost inaudible whisper, “See you soon.”
By the time the show was all packed up, you were passed out at home on your sofa from exhaustion. You heard a knock at your door, and blindly stumbled over to let two extremely hyped boys into your place.
“Let’s get a pizzaaaa!” Grayson bounced up on the couch, his earring jumping up and down.
“TWO PIZZAS,” Ethan yelled.
You rubbed your eyes and slapped yourself awake, “O-o-” you yawned wide, “Okay.”
“Are you tired? We can go if you want,” Grayson said, catching on to your sleepiness.
“NO!” you jumped, his words waking you right up, “This is the one time I get to see you two idiots!”
“Why thank you,” Ethan smiled.
You giggled and clawed at your face, “You’re gonna have to hook me up with some of your sugar high.”
“Buy an extra large coke with that pizza then,” Grayson winked.
“Those pizzas,” Ethan corrected.
The rest of the night was a blur of stories, coca cola burps, and excessive singing to overplayed songs. Three hours after arriving, one sad piece of cheese pizza remained.
“Who wants?” you groaned out, your belly full of bubbles and pizza dough.
“Share with me,” Grayson smiled wide.
“Gray, I’m gonna explode.”
“Oh come on,” Ethan mumbled sleepily, “couples do it all the time.”
“Couples?” You laughed out loud.
Grayson laughed awkwardly, shoving his fist into Ethan’s belly, “You’re so funny,” he growled.
You plopped down beside Grayson, stretching your legs out onto the couch and resting your head into his ‘Post Show Comfy Sweatpants.’
Grayson looked down at you, his startled expression molding into a satisfied little smile, his brown eyes crinkling.
Grayson lowered the piece of the pizza down into your open mouth, and you quickly swallowed a piece of it, clutching at your stomach in protest.
“Sooo cute,” Ethan mocked before promptly passing out.
“He’s right, you are cute,” you giggled up at Grayson.
“Not as cute as you,” Grayson mumbled affectionately, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear and drawing a pattern across you skin with his thumb.
Well, that was new.
You blinked up at Grayson, struggling to keep your eyes open.
“Gray?” you said.
“I’m so beyond happy to have seen you today. I’m so beyond happy that you exist. I love you so much,” you breathed, your eyelids drooping.
Grayson closed his eyes, his teeth grinding together lightly, his hand coming down to rest on your cheek.
“Y/N?” he struggled.
“Yeah?” you managed.
“I love you.”
He said it weakly, barely forcing the words out his lips, and you held onto those three sweet words as you sunk down into your slumber, not realizing the intention behind them.
The next morning
You knew you were too late as soon as you awoke.
The boys were leaving first thing in the morning, and you had slept right through their departure. The only trace of them ever having come was a note.
“You drool when you sleep. Also I’ll miss you, I guess”
Grayson hadn’t written anything, that kind of hurt.
You grabbed your phone, quickly dialing Grayson, who didn’t pick up, so you tried Ethan instead.
“Hey, sleeping beauty,” he said.
You laughed sadly, annoyed at yourself for wanting to cry.
“Hi Ethan, where are you?” you laughed softly.
“In a cab,” he said, “We didn’t want to wake you up,”
“I miss you already,” you smiled sadly, wiping away a small teardrop.
“We miss you too.”
“I don’t think Grayson does,” you mumbled bitterly.
Ethan coughed uncomfortably, taking a second to respond. “I think he misses you a lot, actually.”
You heard Grayson snap something, to which Ethan hissed, “Well maybe if you weren’t such a cowar-”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Only if you cut the bullshit and tell her-”
“I don’t have to do sh-”
The line went dead.
Your mouth hung open and you dropped the phone down carelessly, sinking down onto the floor and starting to cry. Crystal droplets trickled down your cheeks as you sobbed into your knees without caring even a little bit. You couldn’t comprehend why Grayson had just turned against you with no cause.
You don’t know how long you stayed like that, but you ended up sinking into a restless silence, which was abrupted who knows when, by a quick knock at the door. You brought yourself up, confused as you dawdled over to the door. You pulled it open, your eyed red and cheeks stained.
“Y/N,” Grayson started.
You stared at him, unable to piece together a response, so you started to close the door on him.
“Please, Y/N,” he begged his large hand forcing the door open.
“I don’t feel like hearing your shitty excuse as to why you pretended to be my friend.”
Grayson swallowed, your words sinking in, and he looked beyond hurt.
He pushed the door open, and before you could say anything, he grabbed your waist roughly and pulled you straight into his warm chest. You wanted to protest, but god, it felt good in his arms.
“Why didn’t you say goodbye?” you wept into the soft fabric of his tee.
“Because saying goodbye hurts,” he whispered, his eyes moist as he nuzzled into your hair. “It hurts so much,” his voice broke, “and it was easier to let go this way.”
“Tell me why,” you begged, ungluing yourself from his body and blinking up at him through your bleary vision.
Grayson shook his head and laughed pathetically, swiping up your tears with his thumb, “Don’t you get it? I already told you why.”
You shook your head in confusion.
“I love you, Y/N, I told myself it was nothing, that I didn’t come here just for you, but who am I kidding? I love you so damn much and I was stupid to think for even a second that by seeing you, these feelings would go away. Being with you yesterday just made me it worse, looking into your eyes and knowing that you don’t feel how I feel. You think I won’t miss you?! No..I’m going to miss you so much that I couldn’t even say goodbye. And it’s been destroying me piece by piece, because every fibre of my being just wants to hold you like this forever, and I love you so much, and it hurts, Y/N.”
Your heart froze in your chest, and you momentarily forgot how to breathe.
“I just, needed you to know, I’m sorry,” Grayson sighed, letting you go.
“Gray-” you stuttered.
“I have a plane to catch,” he turned.
“Grayson,” you commanded, but he ignored you.
“GRAYSON,” you snapped, grabbing him by the shoulder and forcing his back into the wall.
He blinked down at you in shock.
“You think you’re the only one who gets to talk, you jackass?” you hissed.
“Well what do you have to say to me!?” Grayson said, his jew clenched in frustration, his eyes dark.
You grabbed Grayson by his jaw and forced his lips down into yours. They were soft and full, sweet like cotton candy, and right now, they were all yours. His scent consumed you, the feeling of his lips molding against yours flaring a fiery spark in your chest. Grayson’s chest heaved heavily against yours in the heat, his hands dropping to your hips and his lips responding quickly. His nails dug into your tender skin, flipping you around and pressing your back hard into the wall as he towered over you, arching his body into your chest, his lips devouring yours. You moaned softly into his lips, sending little vibrations into Grayson’s, your hands grabbing the back of his hair and tugging him into you as you urged for more. He squeezed at your hips, his tongue entering your mouth, and you followed his lead, letting yourself explore him. Your head spun, knees weak from the taste of him that you knew you would never get enough of, and it consumed you like a drug.
Grayson detached his lips from yours, his eyes closed, his heavy breath tickling your skin.
“Y/N…” he mumbled faintly, his hands moving gently to hold your wrists, which fit easily in his grip.
“I always loved you, Grayson Dolan.”
Gray opened his eyes, scanning you over carefully.
“Maybe it took me this many I love you’s to finally get it right, and maybe ‘I love you,’ means something different to me now than before, but Grayson, I-”
Grayson silenced you with his lips, pressing them to yours for a fleeting second.
“This is all I ever wanted,” he breathed, placing his nose to yours.
“You’re all I ever wanted,” you smiled softly.
Suddenly, Grayson released you, his expression saddening.
“What’s wrong?” you asked.
“In a way, this is worse.”
“Hm?” you questioned.
“In a way, saying goodbye… is even worse now,” he sighed.
You stared blankly at him, the silence ringing in your ears, your answer falling easily off your lips.