magcon fanfic

Welcome Home, Shawn

Requested by anonymous: Hey! I’m new to your blog and just wanted to say that I love your writing!! I was wondering if I could request one where he comes home from tour and it’s all super cute and fluffy with cuddling and such!! Xx❤️



It had been about a month since you last saw Shawn, in person.

School was keeping you busy while shows, fans and interviews kept him extremely busy. However, whenever you two had as little as two minutes, you would receive a text asking if you were free to FaceTime or call. Sometimes, it would be inconvenient for you and you would have to hold off for a bit, before saying you were free; the only problem then, was him saying he was about to go on stage, or he was doing some press stuff.

You had to admit, it got extremely lonely without being able to hear his voice all the time - raspy and rough in the morning, sleepy on the planes, high energy after a show etc.

You definitely missed that.

You missed his smile and his jokes, but most of all you missed his presence. When the both of you were too tired to form any words into a sentence, you two would just sit next to each other and not say anything. That of course, usually entailed a touch or a couple here and there; but now that you haven’t seen him in so long, your skin was practically itching for him to touch you in some way.

The great thing though, was that he was scheduled to come home in a couple of days. Karen called you, telling you how excited she was and inviting you to her big roast dinner she was making when he came home. You obviously accepted, it becoming somewhat of a tradition between you and the Mendes family.

Keep reading


Aaron Carpenter

Cameron Dallas

Derek Luh

Ethan Dolan

Grayson Dolan

Hayes Grier

Jack Johnson

Jack Gilinsky

Matt Espinosa

(New Masterlist)

Let’s try this again XD

Oldest to Newest ~ ’*’ = Smut

“Maybe You Shouldn’t Have Distracted Me Then”
Little Bumking Parts 1 and 2
Truth or Dare Game From Hell
“It’s not Going to Hurt You.” - “I’ll Hurt You In a Minute”
Pool Fun
“Welcome to The Family”
“Did You Know…”
Food Poisoning
Bathroom *
Stressed Out
Pick Up
Game Over
Busted Parts 1 and 2
Movie Night Parts 1 and 2 *
“If You Can’t Sleep…”
Poorly Shawny
“I Don’t Know What I’m Doing With My Life!”
“For the Love of God Shawn!” 
New Years 
College Shawn; 
College!Shawn 1, 2
Coffee Shop 
Bullet Points:
Pet Names 
Giving Gifts 
Cheer Up


He’s a gem 💕


shawn mendes imagine!

Everything was dark. You couldn’t see anything around you, besides black. And you were sitting on the ground. You tried to stand so you could try to figure out where you were, but your legs failed you. “Hello?” you called out, hoping there would be an answer, hoping someone would tell you what was happening. “Hello, my dear.” You could physically feel the color drain from your face as panic slowly took over your body. Starting by making your toes go numb, and spreading up your legs and throughout your torso and your arms. You recognized the voice. And as you saw his big black boots approach, you recognized those too. You watched in horror as he pulled out a knife, the gleam of the blade catching a far-off light. “No one fools with me, sweetheart.“

”(Y/N)!“ You jerked up right in your bed. You were panting and you could feel the hot tears stream down your face. You started to sob as you collapsed into Shawn’s arms. “It’s just a dream. Shh, baby, it’s ok. You’re ok.” He rubbed your back and placed kisses in your hair. “Same one?” he asked and you nodded. “H-he pulled out a knife this t-time,” you shivered, remembering the blade. “Nothing’s going to happen you you. You’re safe,” he cooed and you attempted to bury your face deeper into his chest.

"I Don't Know What I'm Doing With My Life"

Shawn Mendes
Words ~ 650
Note ~ So….I lied about not posting today. I was looking on my phone for notes about mock exams and found this! I guess I wrote this one night while panicking over finding a Uni and forgot about it XD

“Hey. I brought you-Are you okay?” Dropping whatever he was holding onto the desk, Shawn rushed over to the bed where I sat a crying mess. He instantly pulling me into him, stroking a hand through my hair, he whispered soothing words in my ear, “What’s wrong?”

The words didn’t really sound like words as they left my mouth. Through the tears and struggled breaths, I managed to give some sort of gesture towards my abandoned laptop on the other side of the bed. 

Shawn got the hint. Without breaking our embrace, he grabbed the computer and began flicking through the various University websites that were left open. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.” I finally managed to blurt out. Shawn’s face shifted from confused to amusement as he pressed a soft kiss against my forehead. 

“Baby, you don’t need to stress out over this.” His amusement quickly became annoying. I pushed him away enough to see his face, but not too far because I was feeling very stressed, and sad and just generally needy and didn’t want him to let go. 

“That’s easy for you to say, Mr Superstar! You already had a whole career by the time you were 16!” Although there was a slight truth to my words, they defiantly came out more harsh than I would have liked. Running my hands through my hair, I took a deep breath before speaking again, “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like-" 

”-I know, it’s okay.“ Shawn cut me short with a short peck on the lips. I couldn’t help but smile at the feeling of his chilly hand against my embarrassingly hot cheek as he wiped away the last few years that fell, "I know this is stressful for you. And you’re right, I haven’t had to deal with this and I have no idea what you’re going through. But I want to be here to help and support you through this. Anyway, if worse comes to worse you could always skip out on the whole Uni thing and become my personal slave." 

Laughing, I shoved him away playfully, then instantly pulled him back so my head rested against his chest. The warmth of his body coupled with his familiar smell helped me to relax more, "I love you." 

Kissing my head, he buried his face in my hair before replying "I love you too, baby. Everything is going to be fine." 

A comfortable silence fell between us, Shawn shifted so he was leaning against the headboard with me cuddled into his side. His fingers continued to run through my hair, the repetitive motion was starting making my sleepy. But just as my eyes began to drift shut, another sent hit me, this one a lot sweeter and ten thousand times better. 

Sitting up, I turned to look at my boyfriend who already had this giant goofy grin painted on his face, "Wait, did you buy me brownies and hot chocolate?" 

He nodded yes, and I was already jumping up from the bed and running to the desk. Chuckling, Shawn followed close behind, circling his arms around my waist as I rummaged through the takeout bag. 

"See, this is why you’re the best boyfriend in the world.” Shawn laughed again as he fished out a small paper bag. Opening it, he took a bite of the brownie, my god damn brownie, before handing it over to me. I stared down at the treat, pouting at the huge chunk missing, “And now I sort of want to murder you." 

"Well then.” He faked hurt and grabbed his sandwich and coffee before heading back over to the bed. Rest of the food in hand, I followed him, falling onto the bed so I was resting between his legs, my back against his chest as I once again began scrolling through hell. 


Shawn Mendes - Treat You Better (x)

Crookedly in Love - Chapter Thirty Eight (A Shawn Mendes Fan Fiction)


Chapter Thirty Eight

Shawn left the party in a fury. I chased him out of the apartment building, my heart rushing, my head pounding. I knew he heard everything. He ran out quickly without a word. He had to have heard the worst parts.

Sure, he heard I didn’t know how to be myself with or without him. That I was invested in my career, more so than telling him the truth about my unhappiness. He had a right to be hurt.

But what about me? What about my pain? My feelings were barely spared in all of this, and now I feel like shit because I suppressed my unhappiness. I pretended for a moment.

The cold air overwhelmed me all at once. I was outside, and I saw Shawn’s leather jacket in the streetlight glow.

“Shawn!” I shouted.

He didn’t turn around. I started running towards him.

“Shawn, please, stop,” I begged.

Out of breath, I finally caught up to him. I grabbed onto his jacket, and I forced him to turn around to look at me.

His eyes were wet with tears.  I felt like a huge boulder had come and crushed me right then and there.

“I don’t know what you heard,” I started.

“I heard enough,” he whispered.

“Shawn, I’m sorry,” I said.

“Oh, that’s fucking bullshit,” he said, his voice thick. “You’re not sorry. You’re happy you broke me. You were only in this for you career, in the end.”

“That’s not what I said!”

“It’s what you meant!” he yelled.

“No!” I shouted back. “It’s not what I meant. I love you so goddamn much that I need to be with you. I need you, Shawn. But I hate what you did to me. I hate everything you made me feel! You made me feel small, insignificant. Like I was something to just use and throw away.”

My breath caught.

“And I never wanted to see you ever again. I never wanted to hear from you,” I continued.

“But you kept this up for yourself. You made me think you loved me for no fucking reason but your own selfish gains,” he spat back, wiping his nose.

“No, Shawn, stop,” I said, exasperatedly. Tears were coming now. My eyes stung with a pathetic, self-loathing.

“No, I won’t stop. You did it this time, Julia –”

“Don’t you dare blame this on me –”

“Yes, I will! You were the one who said we were back together. Truly and genuinely back together. You told me you wholeheartedly loved me. You fucking lied.”

I shook my head, infuriated. These were ignorant lies. The words spewing from his mouth didn’t make up even half the truth.

I could barely think straight. He started pacing back and forth, and I just held my head between my hands. I needed to grab my bearings.

“I wasn’t lying,” I said, matter-of-factly.

“Oh God, Julia. Give it up. It’s over,” he yelled. “And this time you were the one who broke it. You really had me. You really got me to believe in us again. And then you fucking broke us.”

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked up at him with absolute shock. My eyes were wide, fierce and desperately hurt.

“Excuse me?” I shouted. “I broke us? You were the one who started this whole thing! You were the one who forced feelings on us that you didn’t even have to begin with. You were the one who lied about being in love with me. You never even tried to tell me the truth once. You just waited until you got caught.”

He wasn’t even looking at me anymore. He was standing, his back facing me. But I kept ranting. It felt too good to get everything off my chest.

“And when Camila told me, it felt like my heart got ripped out of my chest. Like you just took it and smashed it into a million pieces without a care in the world. And the worst part was I still loved you. I still love you now. I can’t breathe with or without you, Shawn. And now I’m being punished because I can’t help but hate what you did? How fair is that?”

He spun around. “No, I’m furious with you because, despite being unhappy with me, you decided not to say anything because you’re too scared you’ll lose out on this opportunity.”

“Shawn, I’m sorry about that. But, I am not using our relationship for my career! I do love you. I really do.”

“You are using me! Maybe you’ve been using me since the beginning of this whole thing.”

I wanted to shake sense into him, I was so angry. I rushed up to him, enraged.

“I didn’t sign up for this! I didn’t ask for this! You asked me to be on tour with you. You asked me to come to your house to write songs. You asked me to come to that very first record label meeting with you. I didn’t ask for this!”

“Well, I didn’t ask you to get back together with me after you found out! You did it all on your own.”

I stayed quiet.

“And I didn’t ask you to come to that radio interview and break up me and Mel,” he continued.

“Oh, come on.”

“And I didn’t ask you to pull out your guitar when we were twelve and show me a song you wrote!”

I was taken aback. He was basically telling me he didn’t ask me to be in his life. I distanced myself from him.

“I didn’t force myself into your life,” I said, my voice quivering. “And if we’re playing that game, I didn’t ask you to move into the house beside me five years ago!”

He just stared at me. I didn’t know what else there was to say. I couldn’t give in and apologize. I was sick and tired of keeping my head down.

“You know what, Shawn? I know. I shouldn’t have just stayed unhappy in our relationship because I didn’t want to rock the boat and jeopardize my career.”

He furrowed his eyebrows.

“But,” I continued. “I could say the same thing to you. You shouldn’t have created this fake relationship because you didn’t want to jeopardize your career.”  

He didn’t say anything, and I knew I had gotten him there.

“I love you, Jules. I loved you when we were dating the first time, despite what you might think,” he said, softly.

“I know. I know you say that, and I know I should believe you. And I mostly do,” I replied, my throat thick. My faces was laden with tears, and I didn’t know how much longer I could stand here talking.

“Mostly,” He repeated.

“Every time my heart gets close to being happy, it’s like my mind throws up this road block that just refuses to let me be okay. To have peace and quiet for once,” I said, weakly. “This nattering thought always finds it’s way into my brain reminding me of what happened. Telling me the way you feel about me is just a figment of my imagination.”

“Julia,” Shawn said. “I know I broke your heart. I’m so sorry, and I know I get to live with that horrible feeling every single day. Because I know I screwed you up. You can’t let yourself be happy because of me.”

I wanted to hug him and hit him all at once. I couldn’t control the rapid array of emotions I was experiencing.

“But,” he rambled on. “I just wish…I just wish you could see how broken I was too. How in love with you I am and how broken I feel now. Maybe I don’t have the right to be, but I can’t help it. I just feel completely beat up by…everything. This whole thing. This whole night.”

He started pacing back and forth.

“And I wish you didn’t get back together with me, fool me into thinking this was actually it. The real thing. You probably would’ve been coming on tour with me still, but we wouldn’t be caught in this awful limbo. This awful feeling where I feel like I have you – the real you – for a split second, and then the next I feel like I don’t have you at all. This constant feeling of losing you.”

Before I could say anything in retaliation – because I was so infuriated – we were wildly interrupted.

Camera flashes started going off around us, as the paparazzi were closing in.  Shawn grabbed my hand instinctively.

“I have to go home,” he mumbled.

“Shawn, can we please finish this conversation tonight?”

He looked over at me, his facial expression blank.

“I have nothing left to say.”


Shawn Mendes
Words ~ 1,300
Warnings ~ Surprisingly, there’s no swearing. I know one of the request says panic attack, but I tried to stay away from writing anything too triggering. However, it still does contain things like hyperventilating and stuffs.
Requests ~ 1) HI! Can you write a Shawn imagine where y/n is also famous and he surprises her on one of her shows? 🙄😱 I love your imagines btw, you’re one of the best writers here💕 2) can you do a request with Shawn gf reader where she has a anxiety attack he comforts? idk just fluff cutness😇🙂

Note ~ Not really important but a little bit of extra info for anyone interested. The YouTuber I was talking about was Dodie and the song was Satisfied from Hamilton. But I tried to keep it sort of vague because I know a lot of people don’t know them :D And I did go through and edit this one, but I’m really tired and probably missed out a bunch of stuff XD

It’s pretty much impossible to miss Mike, I mean the dude is giant. Saying that, he still managed to make me jump as he snuck up behind me, snaking his arms around my neck.

“I’m excited! Are you excited?” Even with him standing so close, I could barely hear him over the loud music. His excitement instantly faded when he got a good look at my face, "Alex, are you okay?“

I really wasn’t okay. This was my first time preforming in front of a crowed this big. I mean, there were about five thousand people out there. Five thousand! That’s a lot of eyes staring at me if I do something wrong. And I know that’s nothing compared to the amount of people that watch our videos, but with a video I can hide behind a screen and I could edit any mistakes out. I can’t do that with live shows.

Running a trembling hand through my hair, I could already feel my heart pounding against my chest as all these thoughts fluttered around my head. Mike instantly pulled me into his arms as tears began spilling down my face. 

"Come on, lets get you away from this loud music for a while.” I didn’t really have any say in the matter as Mike dragged me away from the stage wing and into the hall. The music could still be heard through the thin walls, but it was a lot more bearable. 

I found myself pacing the length of the hallway, but ended up sliding to the floor when my legs became too weak to hold my weight. With my back against the wall, I placed my head between my bent knees as I tried to block out the sounds around me. I started counting each time my chest moved up and down, but it did nothing to slow down my rapid breathing. A uneasy feeling burned in my stomach, slowly creeping up my throat.

I didn’t even hear Que until she was kneeling in front of me. She asked me a few questions, but I found it hard to answer apart from nodding yes or no. When she went to stand up again, I pulled her back down, not wanting her to leave incase something bad happened, "I’m just going to get Shawn. I’ll be right back.“ she explained.

"Shawn’s not here. He’s on the other side of the country.” I told her through gasps, my eyes flickering between the two friends as they both let out an awkward laugh.

“It was meant to be a surprise. He wanted to see you preform, and we knew how much you missed him, so we arranged for him to fly over. He was going to meet you after the show.” My head felt like it was going to explode. Too many emotions were running around me.

Mike did his best to calm me down as Que ran off to find Shawn, but it didn’t really work. If anything his constant questions only made things worse. A few minutes later I heard both of their voices in the distance as Que talked Shawn through what was going on.

“Hey Baby.” Shawn spoke softly. I looked up to see him crouching in front of me, smiling weakly as his hand stroked my knee in an attempt to comfort me.

“Hi.” I struggled to keep my shaking voice steady, but ultimately failed as I broke into sobs.

“Shhhh, it’s okay.” Shawn sat on the floor next to me. I flinched as his hand touched my arm, but let him pull my body into his anyway, “Do you want a drink or anything?”

I shook my head no. He didn’t say anything else which I was grateful for because I really couldn’t speak through my crying. Burying my head further against Shawn’s chest, my eyes squeezed shut as I tried to think about anything but the screaming crowed on the other side of the thin wall. Instead, I concentrated on my breathing again, trying to match it to Shawn’s heart beat. But every time I got it somewhat level, the crowed would make a sound and I would start freaking out again.

Que and Mike walked back and forth a few times, stopping to check if I was okay while they prepared to go on stage. At one point Que placed a bottle of water and a small plate of biscuits next to me, saying it was ‘energy food’ for when I felt better. It was a really nice thought, and her words did make me laugh a bit, but the butterflied storming through my stomach made me to not even want to touch the food.

After quite some time I finally felt my heart slow down. I winced at the bright light as my eyes opened once again. My gaze met the one of a girl who I quickly recognised as one of my favorite YouTubers. I’ve watched her video’s for so long and always dreamed of working with her, but this wasn’t exactly how I imagined meeting her.

She smiled and gave me a thumbs up before turning back to her friend. I gave a small groan and burrowed myself deeper against my boyfriend’s chest, attempting to hide my very red and tear stained face.

Shawn chuckled and pressed a kiss to my temple, “How you feeling?”

“Embarrassed, but other than that I’m good.” Okay, I was lying a bit. I was still nervous and felt weak as hell, but I didn’t want to worry him any more. But I knew he saw straight through me. He didn’t force the subject though, instead he forced the bottle and biscuits into my hand.

“It’s okay to feel nervous. I still get nervous before going on stage.” Shawn wrapped his hand around mine, helping to stop the shaking as I took a sip of water.

I let out a small laugh and shoved a biscuit into my mouth, “Great, now I feel stupid for getting nervous over five thousand people.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Silly.” He poked my cheek.

“I know.” I smiled up at him, “I love you.”

“Love you too, Baby.” Shawn leaned in for a quick kiss before helping me to stand. The crowed burst into life as the act finally came to a close. Nerves spiked through me again, but they defiantly weren’t as intense this time.

Que rushed over to us as the announcer began introducing us, “We need to go, like now.”

She started dragging me away but Shawn tugged me back, pulling me in for a very brief kiss, “I’ll be standing with Jon in the back. You’ll be fine. Just have fun.”

Really pushing for time now, Que broke us apart. I managed to yell another quick 'I love you’ before we started sprinting through the hall. Mike was already out there keeping the audience entertained when Que and me made it up onto the stage, while a crew member shoved a microphone into my hand.

“Sorry about that. Alex was making out with her boyfriend.” The crowed burst into a chorus of laughter which made my face burn up. Well, this was a good start.


The girl from earlier was actually really chill. After coming off stage, I bumped into her and we ended up getting into a really in-depth conversation about something completely random. We were in the middle of organising a colab that we were planning to film later on this weekend when a pair of arms circled around my waist, lifting me off the floor and spinning me around.

“You were so good. I’m so proud of you.” Shawn gushed as he kissed my cheek. I couldn’t do anything but join in with everyone else’s laughter. When he did finally let me down, I felt so dizzy that I had to grab onto his arm just to stop myself from falling over.

“I messed up so much on the second song. My voice cracked at least twice during the high note, and I swear I forgot half of the words for the rap…”

“Really? I didn’t even notice.” He smiled sweetly. Rolling my eyes, I hugged my arms around his neck. He was about to kiss me when randomly popped up out of nowhere, breaking us apart.

“Okay, break it up before someone posts this on YouTube.”

Shawn Mendes One Shot: The Ellen Show

A.N: This one is a little long like always. I really enjoyed writing it though. I’m debating a continuation, but I’m not sure? If you guys liked it or want more, please let me know! I’d appreciated it. ANYWAYS ENJOY!!

Also I got the inspiration for this one from @everythingshawnmendes ‘s work of “Spill Your Guts.”. Check that one out too!

Next Chapter >>

“You’ll be on in ten.” A guy with a headset said quickly before poking his head back out the door.

My manager looked at me and smiled getting up from his seat. “You ready?” He asked.

I looked in the dressing mirror and look over myself sitting in the chair. My hair was in fluffy curls, makeup simple for daytime television. I had a nice blue tartan top on with a matte black skirt. I felt really good and was excited.

“Yeah. I’m good. Excited actually.” I smiled back grabbing my phone from my lap.

My manager went through tips for the interview. We had not given any specific limitations on questions as we didn’t have scandals or secrets the public was aware of. But regardless he went over them.

“It will probably be similar to last time. Maybe a little more different. You’ve gained a lot more popularity since the last time on the show. You know how she likes to blindside you with questions you’d have to be careful answering.”

I nodded but felt prepared. I scrolled through my phone waiting for them to call me to stage.

The guy with the headset turned up a few minutes later. “Alright, they are ready for you. If you’ll follow me.”

We got up from our seats and exited my dressing room. The guy in the headset began prepping me. “So you’ll wait at the steps and head down after Ellen introduces you. You’ll have the first part of the interview for about 5 minutes. She will cut to break. The second part of the interview will be a game, I believe you agreed to ‘Who’d You Rather?’ correct?”

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welcome to my masterlist, please remember that my inbox is always open.

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Needle And A Thread

Twins and Fights*

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Melodies At Midnight (blurb)*

Do You Love Him? (featuring Cameron Dallas)*


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Isn’t He Just A Handsome Young Man*

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Kisses and Dares*

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Cuddles and Storms*

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Wanna Make A Pizza?*

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How You Meet (blurb)*

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A Dash of Magic

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Haunted Houses and Ghost Girls


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I promise

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his contact name for you:

Aaron: baby girl💗

Taylor: my lover😏🍆

Cameron: future wife💍

Nash: my sunshine☀️

jack g: QUEEN😍

jack j: big booty🍑😛

Hayes: hot stuff🔥

Shawn: one and only❤️

Matt: babeeee😘

request more guys xoxo

Beauty Behind the Madness:00

This is my new shawn mendes fanfic and the first one I post on tumblr.

Warning: this story is triggering so if you are sensitive I Highly suggest you don’t read it. I honestly don’t believe shawn would do any of the things in this story it is FICTION meaning that it’s just for entertainment. Also all ideas are mine, obviously not shawn and his family but everything else is!Anyway happy reading



“Shit he called the cops” breathed out Andy as we stared at the house next door. Although we had run out of the house over fifteen minutes ago my heart still thumped hurriedly in my chest.

Before Andy had spoken all that could be heard was our heavy breathing as we stared out of my bedroom window at the house next door. Yelling hadn’t stopped since we left. None of this was Arleigh’s fault. She didn’t ask for this. She didn’t deserve this. Tears prick my eyes yet again as I remember the hurt in her eyes as I looked over my shoulder and ran. I left her and now I’ll never get her back, as forgiving as she is. Yet I deserve nothing less.

The loud music coming from downstairs seemed so far away and blurred out. The guilt over taking everything inside me.

“He said he would” laughed Mitch. He’s laughing. Not one ounce of shame or regret. I knew he was heartless but this was just too low.

I watched as Mr Axle opened the front door for the cops. He looked beyond furious as he spoke to the cops. They looked over at my house. Mr Axle closed the front door and stepped out of the house. One of the cops said something to him which unwillingly made him reopen the door. As the cop walks into the house I realize he’s going to check on Arleigh. Along with the other cop Mr Axle makes his way to my house.

“Shit!” Cursed Jonnie jumping up. “We need to get out of here” I watched from the window as another cop emerged from the car with a mic in his hand yelling at people around the front yard. Word must have gotten around that the police had showed up because people where bolting from the house in all directions. My parents are going to be pissed.

I follow after Mitch, Jonnie, and Andy as they run out of my room and down stairs. The music had been turned off but in no way had the house quieten down. If anything it was louder and more chaotic. As I reach the bottom of the stairs and make to turn to go through the kitchen that will lead me to the door of backyard I hear a familiar voice shout “that’s him”. I turn around, worst mistake. to see the short ,plump, Mr Axle. A furious frown upon his face, pointing an accusing finger right at me.  It’s hard to believe that someone as beautiful as Arleigh could be this mans daughter. She is gorgeous, small, and friendly faced while this man is hard to imagine smile. Arleigh must have gotten her looks from her mother, a woman I never met.

My peers and the strangers at my party stop dead in there tracks and part ways to allow a path straight towards me for the officer and Mr Axle. “Stay still and put your hands up” the cop tells me. I don’t bother to run, I oblige. He comes towards me with Mr Axle hot on his trail. The officer has to push Mr Axle away as he cuffs my hands behind my back. As the officer escorts me back to the car I notice that everyone has stopped running and have frozen. Some have pulled there phones out and are videoing me, others are whispering to there friends. I see Mitch, Andy, and Jonnie hiding away in the corner. There all watching me, there faces unreadable. Even if I did have the strength in me to accuse them of this as well I wouldn’t. I’m not a coward. I’ve done the wrong thing and I deserve to pay for it. I’m shoved roughly into the back seat of the car before the door is slammed.

Loud sirens go off and I notice that the ambulance is passing us as the cops drive away.


Everything feels like a blur in the car, I’m only left with my thoughts of guilt. The officers don’t look pleased at all, I don’t blame them. There probably disgusted with me. I know I would be. I used to frown upon people that do this yet I’m no better. When I’m released in my own cell, the cuffs taken off me, I notice how painful they where. The cuffs had left bright red marks around my wrists but I hadn’t noticed being to distracted by the thought I innocent Arleigh being drive to hospital in the back of the ambulance vehicle. The thought sickened me and before I knew it I was bending over the so called toilet in this tiny cell and I was vomiting. I didn’t even know I could hold this much inside me yet here I stood throwing up until I could no longer. When it was safe enough I pushed away from the disgusting toilet to collapse on the dirty ground next to it, leaning against the wall.

“We have called your parents they will be here first thing in the morning so get comfortable.” One of the officers told me. Did they tell my parents everything, what I had done? There going to be so ashamed to have a son like me. With all my will power I make my way to the bench that apparently passes as a so called bed.

Thank god I haven’t turned eighteen yet otherwise I would most likely be put in a cell with all the real criminals. But aren’t I a criminal?

When I find the bed I hide away in it, facing my back to the rest of the world as I stare at the grey stone wall. And I cry. Keeping my sobs muted by my hand.

I’m a monster.

Sleep never came, only more tears and frustration with myself.

Poor, poor Arleigh.

She deserved so much better and at times I thought I was giving her that, only now do I realize how selfish I was truly being. Love is a two way thing and I did love her, I do love her, but she will never know that. She will think of me as only the asshole that ruined her, broke her into pieces and threw them away making it impossible for her to put herself back together.

For breakfast I was given a piece of bread, which I barley touched, along with some water. I don’t know what time it is but my parents finally show up.

They stand on the other side of the cell. My mother looking beyond furious while my father looked deeply ashamed.

“What where you think?” My mother yelled loudly. It was hard to make my mum angry by she had every right to be. “If you think your going to get away with this than you can think again, if it wasn’t for your father I would have let you rot in this cell.” She paused “Where did we go wrong with you Shawn?” It was a rhetorical question but u wanted to answer and tell her that it wasn’t there fault. They had done everything right. “Did we not show you enough love, not raise you with manners, not give you enough attention?” She paused again. “Answer me!” She raised her voice causing me to look up again. Tears where along from my eyes again and I was surprised. I have never cried this much before.

“I don’t know” I mumble barley audible.

“And what did that poor girl do to deserve this” another pause. My mother doesn’t yell again, her voice is barley above a whisper and there are tears forming in her eyes. “I’m so disappointed with you, I thought you here better but clearly I was mistaken” at this point I would have much rather have her yell at me.

“We payed your bail.” My dad speaks up and when I look over at him I notice that he sing looking at me but staring straight past me. That hurts even more than what my mother had said. He can’t even look at me.

A cop comes and unlocks the door to the cell handing me back my belongings that where in my pocket when I came. They where no in a plastic bag.

“Your dreaming if you think your getting this back” my mother says snatching the phone from the plastic bag. “And don’t even think of using any of those cards because they are going to be cancelled.” She gestures to my wallet as I shove it into my pocket. “Not that you will be going any where for as long as you live.”

My parents had already signed the release forms for my bail which will be until my court hearing. No one says a words as we drive home and when we are home I notice that Aaliyah is cleaning the mess from the party. Another innocent person who has been punished. By the look of sympathy she sends me I can tell she doesn’t know what I’ve done. The silence between my parents hurts more than when they where yelling at me. I wish they where still yelling at me I deserve it.

Feeling numb, I walk up the stairs on autopilot making my way to my room. I lie on my bed pulling my knees into my chest. I feel to numb to cry, instead I let the guilt consume me as I stare out my window to the window of the opposite house that would usually be Arleigh’s room but was vacant. She was probably still in hospital. Hours pass as I stay in the same position. The only way I can tell that’s time has passed is because of the lighting outside. It has just gone dark. My door squeaks signalling that it has just been open. The bed shifts yet I don’t look to see who it is.

“Mum and dad grounded me for two weeks and made me clean up because I didn’t tell them or stop you from throwing that party” Aaliyah laughs. Usually I would feel bad about the fact that she was punished as well but there is someone out there right now suffering a lot more and it’s all my fault.

“They’ll get over it, it was just a party” she reassures me. My face scrunches up in pain and I shake my head furiously before letting out a loud sob.

“I’m a horrible person” I manage to say as I cry. Aaliyah must catch on that this isn’t just about the party. Her hand makes its way to my back rubbing circles reassuringly as she moves closer to me. The other hand plays with my hair.

“Shawn, your not horrible!” If she’s shocked that I’m crying in front of her she doesn’t show it. “I don’t know what you did and I understand if you don’t want to tell me but don’t say stuff like that about yourself. Your a good person. ” I don’t deserve to here the words that Aaliyah is saying but I don’t stop her. She is still young and innocent. She shouldn’t know her brother is a monster just yet.

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Cameron Dallas fanfic: What now? - Sequel to I’m not that kind of girl.

* = smut

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3*

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8*

Chapter 9

The list will be updated as soon as there is a new chapter.