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Colbert actually cut his chops on Good Morning America – you know, that show your parents watch when they’re trying to wake up.

This wasn’t even the fun type of morning show, where lifestyle news-buddies talk over each other and cook some shit in front of a street-level window. No, this was Musty Anchor Man, sitting in a comfy chair in a mansion while the reporters made asses of themselves on his fake TV.

The story goes that one day in 1997, ABC needed a funny guy to punch up their field report about a Rube Goldberg machine contest at Purdue University, and Colbert was desperate and available. It’s pretty strange to see Colbert hosting what is essentially a news magazine puff piece, especially since his later “character” lampooned the very idea of a vapid news pundit, and he looks like he hates every second of it. He looks like he’s about to melt in a puddle of his own loathing. It doesn’t help that he’s completely out of his element here, other than the fact that he apparently doesn’t age as us mortals do.

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