criminal minds is a story of… | (insp.)

The Penrose Triangle

Part 5

As the months wore on, Spencer’s attention drew away from his own troubles (and of course the ever-present words) and toward his mother. All the love in the world couldn’t keep her mind from slipping away slowly – and it broke his heart. It weighed him down more than any words ever could, so he did what any loving son would. 

Day in and day out, Spencer searched high and low for something that would help his mother. There was no cure for Alzheimer’s – at least not yet, but there were remedies and treatments that staved off the worst of it for a period of time, and besides her own son, it was her mind that Diana Reid prided herself on. Even if she couldn’t remember him, he wanted her to have some control over her own mind.

Scouting for helpful remedies was much more difficult than he could’ve possibly imagined, but eventually he found a place in Houston, Texas that was conducting a trial. If he could get her in, and she wasn’t on the placebo end of things, she might have a change for a more lucid, if not longer life, and at this point, that’s all either of them could hope for.

Hotch had been very accommodating when it came to giving him time off, but then like so many before him, he had to leave as well. Although it pained him to see another mentor go, this one he had understood more than most. With Scratch after Hotch, he could no longer risk the possibility that Scratch wouldn’t come after Jack, and with Haley already lost to one madman with a desire for driving Aaron Hotchner over the brink, Jack’s life stood above all else, so they went into witness protection in the hopes that Jack would live a long and fulfilling life. That left someone else from the team to step into the role of Unit Chief, and he couldn’t have picked anyone better than Emily. With her experience at Interpol and her experience with and love for the team, she was a perfect fit.

She excelled of course, and she also gave him all the time he needed to find accommodations for his mother. When he took off, he knew they were bringing in another agent, someone to fill the vacancy, but of course, not the shoes, of one of his best friends, Derek Morgan, but he hadn’t met the man yet, so today would be that day.

Finally back from setting his mother up in Houston, he was back at work. There were donuts on the conference room table when he walked in, and although life hadn’t been kind to him lately, he felt like things might’ve finally been on the upswing. His mother was in a great facility, and he was eating his favorite donut. What could possibly have been better? He nearly got lost in thought while he was waiting for the rest of the team to come in, but he was interrupted by deft footfalls.

When he turned around, he saw a man he presumed to be Luke Alvez, the new team member he hadn’t met yet. “No handshakes, right?” He asked, his smile wide and teeth whiter than snow. “Your reputation precedes you.”

“As does yours,” he said with a smile. “Dr. Spencer Reid.”

“Luke Alvez.”

Although he’d always considered himself attracted to both men and women, attracted to personality and intelligence above all else, he’d never found himself immediately attracted to a man. But as Luke stood in front of him, there was something about Luke that put him at ease. Before his mind could wander, the rest of the team came in and got them started on their case of the week, or weeks as sometimes the case had been.

Luke fit in very well with the team. He had a great relationship with Garcia, even though she would deny it until the cows came home. They’d bicker like brother and sister. Emily respected. He was great with Henry and Michael when he met them, so JJ loved him. Rossi and Stephen appreciated his expertise as well. After all, Rossi was the one who had convinced him to join the team in an official capacity. There was nothing about Luke Alvez that didn’t fit in well with the dynamic they already had going.

Spencer couldn’t tell if Emily had noticed the spark in his eyes when he first met Luke, or if it had just been convenient, but he and Luke had been paired off a number of times since he’d joined the team, and every time, he found himself rambling on and on about cases, TV shows, and really anywhere that his train of thought stopped, but the difference with Luke was that he always seemed to be listening – truly listening.

Any one could see that Spencer Reid loved his teammates and that his teammates loved him. They would bleed and had bled for each other, but not everyone truly understood or cared to understand Spencer’s ramblings, but Luke was different. Not only did he listen; he seemed truly interested in what he had to say. After a while, their car rides weren’t silent, like so many before them. Instead, on their way to witnesses’ houses and police departments, Luke would take the wheel and Spencer would sit in the passenger seat, talking in perpetuity about whether or not Steven Moffat would ever give The Doctor a real name (Spencer pondered this but Luke had never seen the show), whether Lord Petyr Baelish was a Faceless Man or not (something both firmly believed) or whether Ferris Bueller was just a figment of his friend Cameron’s imagination. They’d debate crazy fan theories about their favorite TV shows, both loved Game of Thrones, while Luke watched a show called Boardwalk Empire and Spencer, of course, watched Doctor Who.

Luke promised to introduce Spencer to Boardwalk Empire one day and in turn, he’d watch Doctor Who with Spencer, something he couldn’t even fathom. The only person who watched the time-traveling doctor with him was Garcia. Maybe he could get Luke and Garcia to come over and watch…or maybe not because they’d probably bicker like little kids.

Either way, it felt nice to have someone around that truly seemed interested in what he had to say, whether it was about work, or whether it was just about something that made him happy. Whenever Luke would look at him, his eyes wide with interest at his statistic of the hour, Spencer would feel little butterflies fluttering around his stomach. On top of him being kind and funny, Spencer couldn’t help but notice how handsome he was, and on more than one occasion, he’d found himself wondering what it would be like to fall asleep on his shoulder, comforted knowing that he was loved unconditionally. It was still in the back of his mind – that idea of long-lasting love, but it hadn’t fought to the front until he met Luke. He wondered if Luke felt the same or if it was one-sided.

Still – he didn’t really have time for that now.

For now, his mother needed him, and she’d taken a turn for the worse, so every few months he’d travel down to Mexico to procure the supplement that seemed to be helping his mother. It wasn’t illegal in the United States – not strictly, but it wasn’t exactly legal either, so he kept it under the radar. He knew he could lose his job for what he was doing, but there was nothing he wouldn’t risk for his mother, so long as she was alive.

Each time he went, he was careful. He talked to as few people as he could while still obtaining what he needed, but somewhere along the line, he took a wrong step and landed in Mexican jail cell accused of murder, which he knew he didn’t commit, but he also couldn’t remember a damn thing about the previous twelve hours.

Now, here he was, half-drugged on what, he wasn’t sure, with no remembrance of what happened the day before, accused of murder, and the only that mattered to him was getting back to his mother and the BAU – his home.

When, not if, he got out of this mess, he promised himself he’d do the one thing he’d always been so afraid of – he’d take a chance on love. Luke didn’t know how he felt, but Spencer had to know.

Shortly after being released from the prison in Mexico, he was granted trial in the United States and was set for arraignment. He couldn’t say he wasn’t worried, because of course he was, any sane man would be, but he knew he had his family at his back. JJ was helping him with his mother while he sorted this whole thing out, and Rossi had already said that he’d post bail whether it was $100,000 or Rossi had to sell his mansion to do it; he’d do it happily.

That’s why his heart nearly exploded as the gavel hit the table and he was denied bail. Turning back toward his friends had been the worst decision he’d made thus far. Seeing their helpless faces and knowing there was a decent chance he wouldn’t make it out of prison alive made him nearly collapse. The only things keeping him upright were the guards on either side of him.

On his way to the prison, he went numb. How could anyone believe they’d end up in a place like this? Especially someone like him. For more than a decade, he’d spent his days putting people behind bars, and now he was going there himself.

“You’re going to need to take that off,” the guard said, bringing out of his self-defeating thoughts and toward the bandage he’d had on for so many years.

Spencer had to ask for clarification. “What? I can’t.”

“Unless there is a medical reason for it to be there, which according to the in-house doctor, there isn’t, then it needs to come off.”

He swallowed hard, his mouth going dry at the prospect of taking the bandage off. When he did, he’d see the words – the ones that he’d been avoiding for years. As he unwrapped the bandage, he imagined what they might say. He both hoped and dreaded that they’d be the words he remembered.

And there they were.

~No handshakes, right? Your reputation precedes you.~


@adropintheocean1234567 @milkandcookies528 @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @gubl-oser @sammi9406 @rda1989 @stunudo @stay-wokke  @brywrites @spencersolves @zombies-bunny @grayskiesandoceaneyes @the-slytherin-ice-queen @rosyreid  @twelveyearoldchildprodigy @felisarunswithscissors @ultrarebelheart @lookingforgalifrey @live-love-be-unique @sammikeys23 @sassygeek77 @imawkwardhelpmeh @imagicana @original-criminal-fanfics @sonhadoraativa @madamredwrites @tenderlysaltyalpaca @nevernot-broken @crazysurvival @un-kinder @just-a-localdreamer @geek13freak @pleasedftbaforever @chocok22 @sierra—king @whymesswperfection @camigt1999 @clockworkballerina @brooke0297 @unstoppableangel8 @reid-my-fortune @madjeknotts @nobravery


Dr Spencer Reid. Resident nerd and unlucky in love. Even the concept of children freaked him out before, never mind having his own. It’s a ‘happily ever after’ he may have secretly wanted but must have believed is for other people, given his dating history and fear of hereditary mental health issues. A couple of years later he unexpectedly falls in love with someone who not only returns his feelings, but has connected with him on a level no one else has before and he didn’t think ever could. That “I would have” means he’s dreamed and knowing Reid, already started planning for a future with Maeve. The idea of children wasn’t so scary anymore because of the person he was going to share that experience with. Now that reality has gone and he mourns not only for the loss of Maeve but their life together and what should have been. He no longer sees children in his future because the only person he could ever see himself with has been taken from him. How could he possibly still have all that without her by his side?

Symphony of Illumination [Spencer Reid Imagine]

*Requested* i love spencer reid imagines! if you wanna write anything about him, I’m game. I love angsty ones? Like ones where he breaks up with you and goes with Maeve and regrets it? or like ones where there’s just so much heart ache, y'know?

Author’s Note: This is low-key inspired by How I Met Your Mother and uses an outline from 7x12: “Symphony of Illumination”.

Request things!!! Masterlist

Originally posted by babyspencerreid

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Zugzwang (Maeve x Reader)

Title: Zugzwang

Rating: T

Word Count: 2353

Warnings: angst

Summary: After finding the apartment you shared with your girlfriend ransacked, a card filled with a particular chess term is all that remains.

Author’s Note: woo boi I’ve been so hyped to finally post this. I love Maeve, but also love some AngstTM, so I felt this a good mix :,) I’d love to do a follow up or prequel or something about this, so let me know if that’s something you’d be into. Without further ado~

“The dark nights? You have no idea how long the dark lasts when you can’t close your eyes to it- Tyler Knott Gregson.”

Your fingers twirled around brunette curls as your girlfriend cuddled into you, nipping at the skin of your neck softly.

In the eight months you had spent intimately with Dr. Maeve Donnovan, the times together on your bed were your favorite. Her delicate fingers would trace every curve and dip of your body as she smiled adoringly at you, a look no one else had spared.

You knew of her stalker, and despite her once desperate pleads, you had began seeing each other frequently. With a gun and badge at your hip, worries had almost immediately subsided.

That you were thankful for. The thought that that you could have once lived without her laugh, her eyes, her every idiosyncrasy, seemed foreign and unreal to you. She was your entire life, your sunshine, your happily ever after, and you hers.

You groaned as your phone began to ring and turned away from Maeve’s drowsy face. “Hey, lover-girl, we’ve got a case,” Garcia teased when she heard Maeve’s whispers in the background. “M-kay, I’ll be there within the hour,” you answered before hanging up.

“You’re gonna leave me?” she whined, rolling over to hold your arm. “Unfortunately,” you replied before sitting up slightly. The task seemed difficult as she held your arm securely. “I’m gonna go get ready, ok genius?” you murmured before leaning down to capture her pink lips in yours.

“Ok, agent,” she replied with a giggle. You moaned and groaned before finally leaving the safe haven of your bed, leaving the sleeping beauty behind,


Four days later, you stumbled back into your apartment, sleep deprived and lonely. “Love? I’m hoooome!” you called out, peeking inside rooms.

Upon seeing the broken glass, and other clear signs of a break-in, panic rose in your tightening chest. “Maeve!” you practically shrieked before falling to your knees. You looked around the disturbed area before wrapping your trembling fingers around an envelope.

The paper looked like it had been dipped in tea, and the red wax seal did nothing to dispute its aged aesthetic. You carefully opened it and immediately broke down again after scanning its contents. The single word echoed in your brain as the cursive burned itself into your memory.



You called Hotch the minute you got in the car. “Hotch! It’s Maeve- she’s been a-abducted. Please help her,” you sobbed into the speaker. “Listen to me, Y/N. I need you to calm down. Breathe. We’ll meet you at Quantico. Drive safely,” he ordered before ending the call.

His curt attitude didn’t faze you as you kept at the speed limit, trying desperately to calm yourself.  A small sense of relief flooded your chest as you pulled into a parking space. You noticed everyone else’s cars already in the lot, and you were thankful for their rush.

You snatched your things from the front seat and ran into the building. The elevator couldn’t go fast enough; your heart was beating 10x faster. After the excruciatingly long wait, you sprinted into the bullpen.

Your brow furrowed in confusion as you noticed everyone surrounding a very disheveled Reid. “What’s going on?” you asked, drawing everyone’s attention. JJ ran to you with open arms. “It’s going to be ok, don’t worry,” she soothed while stroking your hair.

Over her shoulder, you noticed Hotch’s uncomfortable expression. You pulled back from the blonde before flashing her a thankful smile. “Hotch, what’s going on?” you repeated yourself. “Reid says his girlfriend has been abducted as well.” You gasped and walked quickly to the man in question.

“Spence.. I’m so sorry,” you whispered before hugging him softly. He couldn’t speak as tears slipped from the corners of his eyes, which he wiped on the shoulders of your top. “This has to be an attack on the bureau, right? It’s not just Maeve-” your thoughts were interrupted by Spencer. “What?” he gasped and pulled away from you.

Everyone else looked to the ground with guilt in their eyes, having already realized the truth in the situation. “My girlfriend, Maeve..?” you trailed off. “Is she geneticist?” You nodded. “Yeah, best in her field. Spence what’s this about?” Hotch intervened by standing between you. “Apparently, you were both dating the same woman,” he said apologetically.

Time stood still in that moment, and your heart dropped to the floor. “Wh-what?” you managed to choke out. Spencer looked equally as shocked as his brown eyes grew wide. He stood up and looked between you and your Unit Chief. “I’m sorry, but apparently Maeve had been cheating on you with each other.”

You wanted to hug Spencer, you wanted Hotch to stop looking so guilty, you wanted to forget any of this ever happened. However all that escaped your lips was a single sob before you dropped to your knees in an ocean of tears. JJ and Morgan were quick to join you as they attempted to comfort you, but to no avail. The pain radiating through your chest was too great to even comprehend.

“Did you know?” you finally whispered, looking up to meet Spencer’s still wide eyes. “What?” he asked quickly. “Did you know?” you repeated a little louder before accepting Morgan’s help in standing upright. “Of course I didn’t know!” he defended, taking a step away from you. “How far did it go?” you asked as tears continued to slip from your eyes.

“I’ve never seen her face. We called every Sunday, that’s it.” You brought your hand to your mouth to silence your cries. “S-she told me she was on the phone with her sister..” you choked out past quivering lips. “She said she loved me,” Spencer murmured quietly, the crack in his voice heartbreakingly prominent.

You wanted to hate him. You should’ve hated him. But his sad eyes were too familiar, too hurt. “You two go wait at the table, please,” Hotch instructed, to which you obeyed. Spencer followed behind you as the sound of your footfalls fell into a matching rhythm.

The room was quiet besides the occasional ragged breath. You were the first to speak, the silence like salt in your wound. “I’m sorry,” you whimpered. He didn’t hesitate in running to you with open arms. You collapsed into his embrace, sobs wracking your body. His shoulders shook beneath your palms as you gently swayed to the beat of your pounding hearts.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so so sorry,” he cried into the crook of your neck. “I-I’m sorry too,” you whispered, putting on the most soothing voice you could muster. His sweater was soft against your face and his hair fluffy against your cheek as he held you to him. Truly, you were the only ones who would understand, and that killed you a little inside.

This was a pain you didn’t want to share.

“Send L/N and Reid in, and maybe I’ll let her go,” Diane’s voice rang out through the small speaker. You both nodded and rushed towards the door, stopping only when the voice started again. “Unarmed.” You showed no hesitation as you pulled your gun out of your holster and handed it to Jennifer, however your heart ached when Spencer showed equal enthusiasm as he did the same.

“Let’s go,” you muttered before charging into the building. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t Thing One and Thing Two,” Diane mocked before coming down the stairs. She placed the handle of her gun in her mouth as she quickly bound your wrists with a string before doing the same to Spencer. With a giggle, she placed a tie over his eyes as a makeshift blindfold.

“Cmon, lets go see Princess Charming, shall we?” Diane teased as she ushered you and he up the stairs. The sight of Maeve caused your breath to hitch, however you were quickly shoved to the floor. You watched as guilt clouded over her irises, and you knew it was true: she had been with you both.

Spencer’s eyes filled with tears as Diane removed the blindfold, revealing the woman he thought he had known for ten months. “Spencer,” Maeve breathed out, her eyes began flooding over. “Spencer, hm?” Diane smirked, a twisted smile you’d only seen in drawings and film.

“I guess he’s your lover of choice. I wonder how Y/N feels.. I mean, she was in love with you, Maeve, how could you? Leading the poor thing on like that? Despicable,” she mocked. She crouched down to your place on the floor before taking your face in her hands.

You glared at her as her nails dug into your skin. “T-that’s not true!” Maeve argued, shooting you pleading looks. “Oh no? The what about Spencer, over here? Hm? What’s his story?” She took a seat in his lap, causing him to swallow the rising bile in his throat.

“She told you she’d never seen your face, not even a picture, right?” He nodded slightly before catching Maeve’s hurt gaze. “Guess what I found on her internet history? You guessed it! Dr. Spencer Reid, FBI.” “M-Maeve?” he croaked, his eyes wild and glossy. “Spencer I swear she’s lying!” Maeve cried desperately.

You could only sit in stunned silence, determined to get everyone out of this alive. There must be a way, there had to be a signal for the team. You tuned out the rest of the world: the hurt in Maeve’s eyes, the sound of Spencer and Diane’s lips moving against each other, focusing only on forming a plan.

Suddenly, the gun in Diane’s hand went off, a stray bullet hitting your thigh. A scream tore through you as Spencer wrestled with Diane. “Son of a bitch!” you screeched while blood seeped through your fingers. “Y/N! Y/N, please!” Maeve called out to you as tears trailed down her cheeks.

You met her eyes as Spencer continued to reach for the weapon. You took the opportunity to scramble to over to her chair and undo her ties as she did the same for you. Diane suddenly managed to graze your shoulder with a bullet, causing you to double over as she gripped Maeve to her chest.

“Diane!” Hotch shouted as he and the others filed into the room. “No, no!” you cried, unable to move from your fetal position. “Stay back!” Spencer pleaded. “Take me instead!” you tried to offer, ignoring everyone’s shocked stares. “You would do that? For her?” Diane shrieked while waving the gun around. “Yes, of course- I love her!” you sobbed.

Before Maeve could speak, Diane began. “Who do you love more, Maeve? Tell them what you told me.” The silence did not go over well with the unsub as she screeched, “Do it!” Maeve murmured something incomprehensible towards the ground.

Diane took her chin in her hand and turned Maeve’s head towards you. “Tell Y/N: nice and loud.”

Maeve swallowed as salty tears slid down her face in crashing waves. “I love Spencer,” she said a bit louder, however still almost unheard above the air conditioning.

Suddenly, oxygen seemed like nothing more than a figment of your imagination. Your lungs felt empty and greedy. Maeve’s eyes were wide as she stared at you with desperation: what she was desperate for, you’ll never know. Maeve turned her attention to Spencer, perhaps hoping for a better reaction.

He looked like  a boy who had boarded a plane by himself for the first time. “Maeve..” “Thomas Merton,” she murmured, completely ignoring you now. Spencer’s eyes were wide and glossed over.

“What?” Diane shrieked. “Who’s Thomas Merton?!” “He knows,” Maeve continued without breaking Reid’s eye contact. It was quiet for a moment as the wheels in her head turned, worrying you beyond belief.

“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another,” you piped up as sweat beaded along your forehead. “Thomas Merton. I-It’s your favorite quote,” you stammered as blood continued to pool around you.

There was no one else in the room as Maeve stared you down, her loving expression similar to the one she bore mere days before. “Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony,” she said quietly, just loud enough to reach your eager ears.

“Thomas Merton,” Reid spoke up, causing both of you to look his way. “What the hell?” Diane yelled again. “He is the one thing you can never take away from us!” Maeve said with finality. Which “us” she was referring to, you couldn’t pin down.

“No,” Diane said before raising the gun to the side of her head. “Wait!” Spencer begged, as everyone else watched on in horror. Your heart rose to your throats as the bullet released from its chamber.

“Maeve!” you screeched as the two bodies collapsed to the ground. “Son of a bitch!” you cried out as the others lowered their guns. Your ears began to ring as your chest heaved at the sight of the blood staining her soft grey sweater.

Your stomach felt like it was in your toes as tears streamed down your face. The wounds in your thigh and shoulder did nothing to soothe your aching chest.

As the ringing in your ear began to fade, Reid’s sobs tore through you. He had fallen to his knees in a pile of tears, curses falling from his chapped lips. Pain bubbled in your chest as you watched his trembling body, oh so similar to yours.

You were dragged away from the scene to be checked out by the paramedics, despite your pleas to stay with Maeve. Without her still warm body in your line of vision, a crushing sense of loneliness fell upon your shoulders. This was it.


“Death sits in the chair across from me and watches. Death sees, but has no eyes. Death knows, but has no mind. We often sit together in the night. Death has one move left, I have none.- unknown.”


Tags: @dontshootmespence @reidbyers @cherry-loves-fanfic

“There was a moment when you had him, and you knew you had him. What was it?”

“Euclidean geometry. There’s this thing called the Penrose triangle. He told me a story about how he tried to build one when he was eight.You can’t build it. It’s an impossible physical structure. It only exists in conceptual geometry. But I said, every Penrose triangle has its thorns. He laughed. It was a stupid pun, but he laughed.”

The Penrose Triangle

Part 7 - Finale 

It was over. 

It was finally over.

He couldn’t quite believe it.

Though it had only been three months, it had been the longest three months he’d ever experienced.

The hole he had been digging himself out from was now underneath him. His mother was home. Scratch was gone forever. He’d been cleared of all charges. And now he could start to heal. Was it possible that for the first time in years things were finally on the upswing?

It had been a week since he’d brought his mother home and found a new program for her – or rather, he’d found someone that could be there when he couldn’t be. His team. After all he’d been through, they decided to take a pay cut. One member of the team would always be with Diana, and whoever happened to be with her would be on call to lend expertise in the case of an emergency. In her lucid moments, Diana had agreed to it. Originally, Spencer said he was going to take a sabbatical so he could be home with her, but she insisted he still work, not wanting to “be a burden.” He told her that’s the last thing she was to him, but she insisted anyway. And then the team had made the suggestion.

Before prison, he’d never been one to show his emotions outright. People, especially his close friends, knew who he was feeling, but he didn’t let it all hang out, but when they suggested taking turns to help care for Diana, he’d immediately burst into sobs and cried on Emily’s shoulder, as the team gathered him in for a hug. They were a family – and they were truly the greatest family anyone could ask for.

There was only one other thing that was left to be settled. Luke.

Just an hour or so ago, he’d texted Spencer to ask if he could come over. He said he had something he needed to get off his chest.

Honestly, Spencer never thought he’d have the opportunity to say all he wanted to say, so now that Luke was on his way, he felt his stomach lurching into his throat. He was pacing his apartment like one of those carnival machines, turning around and retreating to where he came from the second he hit the wall until 20 minutes had passed and Luke was knocking at the door.

When Spencer let him in, neither said anything, both shuffling awkwardly and looking at the floor. Spencer had thought about this for so long – even before he went to prison, and now he finally had the chance to say it. He wasn’t about to wait any longer. “Okay, I’m going to go first because I honestly thought I was going to die in prison before I got the chance to say anything,” he said quickly, fiddling his thumbs together at the speed of light as he thought of what to say next. “I’m assuming someone, probably JJ, told you why I had the words on my arm covered.”

Luke nodded, a smile ticking up at the corner of her mouth.

“After Maeve died, I never thought I’d see words again, considering I’d waited so long for those to begin with, and then just three weeks after Maeve died, other words appeared and I was mad. I hated the universe for throwing someone into my path when the woman I loved was barely in the ground a month, so I covered them up and ignored them for four years. I debated whether having them meant anything at all, whether or not I had any autonomy when it came to my own love life, and I struggled – a lot. Then you came along.” He looked up and met Luke’s gaze, slightly glazed over with slick tears that he met with his own. “I didn’t know you were it when we met, at least I didn’t know that the words I had on my arm were yours, but I know what I felt, and there was a comfort I had when I first met you that I’ve only felt with one other person. You listen to my rambling, and not only that, you actually seem interested. We can talk about anything, and the conversation isn’t even just me talking, and you listening. It’s…effortless. And then I had to take the bandage off in prison and I saw that what I felt was reflected in these fucking words that have given me so much grief over the years, and I finally feel right…Luke, I don’t know where the hell this is going to go, if it goes anywhere, but-“

He was rambling and he knew it, but he was still caught off guard when Luke crossed the floor between them and grabbed his face in his hands before taking Spencer’s mouth in a heated kiss. Everything that Spencer had felt in the past few months came out in that kiss, and then Luke pulled away. “I was so afraid you weren’t going to come out of there. I knew the words were yours the moment we met, and I definitely made some threats at the prison to get you home.”

“You threatened Shaw?”

Luke smiled.  “It worked, didn’t it?”

Recovering from this whole experience was going to be long and arduous. It would probably take years, and he’d take two steps forward and five steps back if he had to guess, but if Luke was going to be there through it all, he felt like he could do it. As Luke began to ramble, Spencer found himself overcome with emotion, tears falling down his cheeks as he pulled Luke in for another kiss, his lips running over the stubble of Luke’s chin before he pressed his lips to Luke’s.  “I never thought I’d be here.”

“Me either,” Luke said, smiling into Spencer’s neck as he wrapped his arms around his waist. “But we’re here now. I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Nearly a year had passed and Spencer still had his bad days –like today, those days where he would wake up in a cold sweat imagining the beatings he’d endured or his mother being killed in front of his eyes, and he would scream and flail, only calming down when Luke put his arms around him. The difference was that Luke was there now. No matter what time of night he woke up screaming, Luke was there to comfort him, reading him his favorite books and playing with his hair as he fell back asleep. “You ready to go?” he asked 

After getting ready that morning, both got dressed to leave. Living together had been the next logical step, and it felt perfectly right. Today was a packed day. The team was going to be celebrating Garcia’s birthday, as well as the anniversary and Spencer and Luke finally realizing that the universe had made them for each other. First things first though, Spencer had therapy.

Waking up screaming day after day wasn’t healthy, and although Spencer knew as much, it had taken Luke suggesting therapy for Spencer to finally take the plunge and do it. “You have to take care of yourself,” Luke had said. “After everything you’ve been though and all the people you’ve helped to take care of, it’s time you allow us to help you and for you to allow time for yourself. Remember the whole you said you climbed out of to get here?”

Spencer had nodded, leaning into Luke’s chest as his boyfriend twirled his light brown locks between his fingers. “Well, you have to take the time to take another few steps away from that hole so you never fall into it again.”

Luke was right of course. The hole was behind him now; he had climbed back into the light and had been greeted by its warmth. And with Luke by his side, he was never returning to the darkness – or at the very least, he was never returning to the darkness alone.

One soulmate was gone, but whether her words remained or not, Maeve would always have a place in his heart; right next to the man he loved now. Though Luke and Maeve never got the chance to meet, they were connected through their relationships with him, making him stronger with each passing day.

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