“el clasico. no two words can grasp the sports world’s attention like a matchup between the two of the biggest superpowers in global football. real madrid and fc barcelona creates divides among social classes and political stances amidst a background of a civil war-torn past. the two largest cities in spain, the national capital madrid, and barcelona, the capital of the catalan region seeking independence are the principal cities of a derby that’s seen by nearly 400 million people around the world.”
Hey, it’s Marina. Again. I just wanted to share what’s going on in my life at the moment with you and hope that you might be able to give me some advice and throw some light into this darkness. So, I’m gonna start by giving you a few facts: I’m 18, I just finished high school and I’m starting university this september, I’m from Spain (this is quite an important fact cause things are different here from the USA). So. Like a year ago, when we had to start planning what we wanted to do with our lives, where we wanted to go and to which university and stuff, I, don’t know how, just came with this idea that I wanted to go study university in Madrid (which is the capital city and the biggest, and also 6 hours away from where I live now, by car). And became like really obsessed with the idea of moving out. I didn’t really mind where, I just wanted to go somewhere different. And this is mostly because I live in a small appartment with 4 other people and sometimes me and my parents don’t get on well or I’ll fight with my sisters (with whom I share a room; 3 girls in the same room, yas). So I just wanted to leave and, why not, Madrid is a beautiful city (also quite expensive, which didn’t come to my mind at that time). So I just basically spent the whole year telling my parents that I wanted to live and study in Madrid. During the first months, my parents would just ignore me, cause they probably thought I wasn’t being too serious about it. Then, when they realized I wouldn’t stop talking about it, they said no. Of course. (Side note: I know in the US it’s common to go study to another state, leave your home and everything and that most people do that and are used to that, but in Spain, the common thing to do is study in your hometown and there leave after university, so basically people live with their parents until they’re like 23 or even more, and moving out at 18 is not what most people do, so it’s weird). But I kept insisting and talking about the experience in life and the better opportunites to work and all that stuff, and I convinced my father (he’s much more similar to me than my mother and he’s always understood me better and been by my side). Meanwhile my mom just said that it was a caprice of mine and that it was stupid and childish. And it was. But. Isn’t everything in life a caprice? Well… Almost everything. The thing is I wanted to go and live on my own, start a new life, finding myself, and all of that exciting things. So after that I kind of convinced my mom too (mostly thanks to my father, who did such an amazing job) and we started looking for universities and places to stay. Then, I had to take the most difficult and important exams of my whole life (these are exams everyone in Spain has to take at the end of high school and we get an average mark or grade out of 14 and that mark decides whether you are allowed to study in this or that university or not, so basically my whole future depended on this cause I needed a high mark) and I got a 12,2 out of 14, which is a pretty good mark, I’m still impressed I got that high. Anyway, I applied to the university I wanted to enter (in Madrid) and I was accepted. The dream was becoming real. So in a short period of time, I was into the university and had booked a room in a residence just near the university. And now, I’m two or three (not sure when i start university exactly) weeks away from moving out. To a new place. A new city. Where I’ll know no one. I’ll have to live by myself. Make new friends (something I’m really bad at in real life, cause I’m so shy at first and I’m not myself and everything is awkward). The excitement from the begining has slowly been sustitued by fear. This doesn’t mean I’m not excited anymore. I still am. But fear is bigger than excitement at the moment. So. Where I wanted to go with this is… You’ve moved out. Twice. So you might have an idea of how I’m feeling and I was hoping you could give me some advice as to how you managed to overcome the fear or how was your experience. The thing is, although I’m scared as hell and this is probably the craziest thing I’ve ever done, I don’t regret having made this choice. I know I want to go there. I want to start finding myself. I want to surround myself with people who have the same interests as I do and make new and good friends. I want to experience life. I want to learn, even if it’s from mistakes. I know I need to push myself to do this so I can grow up, mature and be a better person and start to be who I want to be. So I’m not going back. I’m not regretting it. But I’m scared. Scared of not making friends. Scared of being alone in classes. Of not having someone to go out with. Scared of not fitting in this new life. I’m so scared and excited and it’s such a weird sentation.
PS: I’m sorry this was such a long message, but I really needed to express my feelings to someone and, as always, that someone is you.
PS2: If you read it all til the very end… I. Love. You. Even. More. Than. Ever ( Which is still soooo much) and I can’t believe you actually took time of your busy life to read a story about my life, an ordinary teenager. I completely adore you.
PS3: I also wanted you to know that one of the reasons why I’m keeping on with this and forcing myself to stay strong besides fear… Has been you. You taught me to push myself to do things that I wouldn’t normally do, to step out of my comfort zone, in order to be a better me. You gave me the courage I needed to decide for myself and take control of my life. And also to try new things and experience life. And be fearless. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you so much taylorswift