I know about having one’s buttons pushed. But getting defensive when an anonymous nobody posts a numbered list of entirely unsubstantiated crimes committed by shippers is beneath you. It also makes you look nervous and guilty.
If you have nothing to be ashamed of, you have nothing to fear. And YOU, gentle reader, kind and romantic soul that you are, have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing. Not one thing.
You can’t control what that harpie says, you can’t stop her from saying whatever inflammatory hostile made-up bullshit she chooses to, and responding in any way gives the appearance that you take her seriously. She is mentally ill, remember? There is no need to respond at all, let alone defend the (possibly non-existent) people she keeps calling “shippers.” Whoever she might be talking about, she is definitely not talking about you, so you need not respond any more than you might to that crazy lady on the bus who rants about the people always trying to steal her [fill in the blank].
Anyone who reads her posts and believes / sides with her is a complete idiot, anyway. Why do you care what a complete idiot thinks about you or anything else? You cannot make yourself look better by trying to make someone else look bad. NOR CAN SHE. Leave it.
Tech assignment was to mess about in Photoshop, so I came up with this. I can’t decide if the coloring is gross or not. There’s only so much one can do with a picture I took on my cell phone (which is not a smart phone) in fluorescent lighting.
Okay, sit your tushies down and get comf ‘cause its time for another Real Talk.
We’ve all seen tons of posts about how certain groups of men have made hostile environments of fandoms, series, etc.
And this is perfect, this is wonderful. A++ everyone, keep up the work. Seriously, bless all of you. I can never thank every single one of you that create or share these stories enough.
But I’d also, just for a moment, like to talk about these additional issues that these unfortunate… individuals… have upon the community.
Now there’s plenty of situations and examples that I could bring up, but the best way I can think of doing this is by telling a personal story that I hope that at least some of you can relate to. To do this, I must first admit something to all of you. Something that I have kept quiet about for some time.
I unironically love My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
There. It’s out there on the internet. I sincerely enjoy watching that show. I even have a couple figurines and I’m able to talk about the characters by name to my friends’ kids. I even had coloring books at my work desk for days that were slow.
This used to be something I had no problem talking about. There was a time where I didn’t feel this need to hide this fact. It’s just a show, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, right?
Not quite. Nowadays there’s a problem with being a male who likes MLP:FIM. And this problem has a name. Bronies.
Now, way back in the day the term “Brony” was simply a male fan of the show. It wasn’t the oh so familiar neckbearded, trilby wearing, clop loving, self proclaimed “nice guy” that comes to mind today. Someone who sincerely enjoyed watching the show and discussing the lessons in the episodes. At the time, it was more like a family - Bronies and Pegasisters were simply brothers and sisters.
It used to be that I could call myself a Brony with pride. I was a part of a loving and accepting community that I adored. After all, who couldn’t love these adorable cartoon characters, with their bright colors, stylized designs and simplified animation that helped sneak in real life lessons marketed for kids?
And lets be clear about this - MLP:FIM is marketed for kids. Yet it has lessons that are still important, even to an older-than-intended market. Lessons that help bring up real world problems and initiate dialog on how to solve those problems.
I was happy with this, it was a good life. But then the fire nation attacked. But then things changed. With its growing popularity, it had drawn some unwanted attention. At first it was just a few - a very outspoken few - but still just a few. These people weren’t interested in the dialog our community had, nor were they just your typical fans of the show. These people brought in negativity, shaming, sexism, and sexualization of the characters we had grown to love.
It started slowly at first. At first, when people found out I was a Brony it was easily described as a “yeah there’s some weird people out there, but they’re not really part of the bigger community.” That was it. It was understood that this was not a norm. But it very quickly escalated to: “Yeah, I’m a Brony. BUT NOT THAT TYPE OF BRONY!”
I now felt the need to very quickly clarify that no, I was definitely not one of them. I was not interested in the sexualization of these cartoon characters, spouting disgusting sexist propaganda, and lamenting about the “friendzone” all while proclaiming myself a Nice Guy.
It got to the point where I didn’t even like using the word anymore. Instead of the pride I had for my community, I started to feel ashamed. I dreaded it being brought up. I didn’t want to be included in that. That wasn’t what I had joined the community for, and it wasn’t something I was even comfortable with. The mere thought of being misunderstood as that kind of Brony made me physically sick to my stomach. I had ceased to be a Brony, and simply became “a fan”.
I wish I could say it stopped there. I really do. But it just got worse. The new definition for Brony became widely known. They were everywhere, evenmade memes of themselves. It was impossible to even get away from the sheer negativity the community had grown into. Something had started so innocent had, unfortunately, been spoiled.
It was then I left the community. I was no longer a Brony. I was no longer part of a caring family. I no longer took part in the dialogs brought up about the lessons that could be learned from the show. I simply cut all ties to something that had once made me so happy. I tucked that part of away, hid it where no one would ever find it. I simply ceased to acknowledge that part of me to others, subjecting myself with guilt laden midnight Netflix marathons.
I’m not alone in what I experienced. There are many, many others that have had the same happen to them. And it’s not just something that is only in the MLP community.
This happens in every community. This happens in gaming communities, comic communities, sports communities. It happens on every website - even Tumblr.
The problem is that Fuckboys tend to be the loudest, that they tend to be the ones that draw the most attention. They are destroying safe places not just for women and children, but for other men. Other people. But it’s not just a problem of Fuckboys.
The real problem is that people aren’t standing up. More specifically, men aren’t standing up. It isn’t enough to just try to separate yourself from those that act that way. It isn’t enough to say “I’m not like that”. Because if you take yourself away form the situation, or you just say you’re not like it, you’re enabling these people to continue. You’re not helping keep your places safe. Sitting down and waving a “not me” flag does nothing.
Because these people aren’t just ruining these places for women and children. They’re ruining for everyone - including other men. They’re making them unsafe for everypony everybody.
It’s something that I didn’t realize at the time, when I went through this. I didn’t know what was needed. I didn’t understand what I had to do, and I am deeply deeply sorry for that. I am sorry that I didn’t take a stand to keep my community safe. That, even though I wasn’t one of the ones destroying our family, I let it happen without fighting for what I believed in. Since then, I’ve grown, and I’ve learned a lot. And this is why I’m making this post.
So please, I implore you. All of you. Whether you identify as male, female, non-binary, or somewhere in between stand up for your community.
Stand up and say This is not right.
Stand up and say We will not accept this behavior.
Because if you don’t raise your voice, all anyone will hear is those that are causing the problems.
Creating these Safe Places and keeping these places safe is everyone’s responsibility. It doesn’t matter if you don’t consider yourself as one of the ones destroying these places. By staying silent you are simply stepping aside and allowing this to happen. By stepping aside and keeping quiet, you are part of the problem.
So stand up to keep your communities safe. Stand up to keep your family - your siblings safe. Protect each other.
Stand up for what you believe in.
Because no one should be ashamed because of something they like.
Markhel was once more in the Stranglethorn Vale, this time he hoped he wouldnt get lost like the last time and make another unfortunate traveler fall down his horse because of him standing on the rider’s way. But the difference is that it was day, which helped for him to see as his vision wasnt as good as his orcish lineage.
The half-orc tried his best to follow the road, which sometimes would disappear under the leaves and tree roots. He also hoped he wouldnt step on a trap made by the hostile jungle trolls, it was their territory after all, they knew exactly where to hide them.
Well, now he made himself feel a bit on the edge, great!
the study, the researchers played 163 plays of the video game and
analyzed the comments made by other players when they thought they were
playing with a male vs. female teammate. The men who were doing worst at
the game made the most hostile comments to women. The Washington Post reports:
As they watched the games play out and tracked the
comments that players made to each other, the researchers observed that —
no matter their skill level, or how the game went — men tended to be
pretty cordial to each other. Male players who were good at the game
also tended to pay compliments to other male and female players.
Some male players, however — the ones who were less-skilled at the
game, and performing worse relative their peers — made frequent, nasty
comments to the female gamers. In other words, sexist dudes are literally losers.
In the more academic words of the researchers: “We suggest that
low-status males increase female-directed hostility to minimize the loss
of status as a consequence of hierarchical reconfiguration resulting
from the entrance of a woman into the competitive arena.” It’s yet more
evidence that women often bear the brunt of men’s attempts to reclaim a
sense of dominance in the masculine hierarchy: In this case, being mean
to female players becomes a way of reasserting their threatened masculinity.
(For the anon about Frances/Courtney) - Frances' restraining order deposition was made public a few years ago, her reasons included Courtney killing her two of her pets by neglect, her ongoing drug abuse (Adderall, Abilify and Xanax at that point), and her total obsession with conspiracies against her which made a hostile environment to live in. Courtney also threatened suicide by jumping off a balcony while Frances watched. Courtney also got physical with Frances at least one time, just before
“His empiricism made him hostile to political theorizing, but throughout his life he intervened in political controversies; he meddled whether he was asked to or not, and even, as sometimes happened, when he was earnestly begged to mind his own business. He always said demurely that he was only cultivating his garden, but privately he defined his garden as Europe.”
Peter Gay, the Poet as a realist: Voltaire’s politics. (p. 17).
as a fellow habitual pen-clicker i apologize :c sometimes i do it w/o even noticing lol. especially if i'm deep in thought or working on something at the time. (but i should be more careful about it b/c i'm the kind of person who completely freaks out if someone is popping or cracking their knuckles around me asdgkwjeavijf)
awww ty, it’s tough because part of me is like “what if this is something they can’t help, just like i can’t help being irritated by it?” and i don’t want to be an asshole that yells at people who may be doing it out of their own mi, :c. my mental illnesses has made me seem like a hostile and rude person because sometimes i can’t handle simple sounds and things people do. i even have the ability to be irritated by people who aren’t making a sound at all but are slowly rubbing their fingers together. Visual stimuli can put me off too, and i honestly have no idea how to deal with it. luckily i have found a specialized therapist to help diagnose men in a couple of weeks. if anything i might be able to figure out how to address the situation without being coming off as hostile.
I think perhaps the last planet we stepped onto was a dream- An Illusion made real by an Avatar of something beyond evil. Its reason for existing seems to be feeding off of chaos and destruction. It’s Unlike anything I could have imagined greater than the Universe we live in; Beyond any of our abilities. There is no fighting it. However it allowed us to live or threatened our existence merely by observing our next moves… Either way it was not the 5th dimensional being we sought to attack. Being around the avatar made all of us hostile, even to each other. We’re still recovering. Salem seems the most affected. Even my resolve waned.
Some further thoughts on the Free Pride Glasgow/Drag Queen Ban
If your goal was create a safe and inclusive and environment…then you failed because you just made it hostile and exclusive with your actions.
Drag queens (cis and trans) have been important figures in the LGBT community since the beginning and telling a marginalized minority within the community they aren’t welcome because their form of expression and art is offensive is frankly disgusting. Drag queens were there at Stonewall, were at the first pride parades (where they were put in the back away from the press along with the BDSM/leather crowds), and were some of the most passionate advocates and fundraisers for various LGBT causes such as HIV/AIDs (did y’all forget that was a thing?). They deserve to be celebrated, not banned and insulting by the political correctness run wild.
What you are doing is now enforcing gender norms on your attendees. You have essentially said it is offensive for a self-identified male to wear traditional female clothing. You have become the same regressive force you claim to work against. It’s policing gender expression…which I thought the freedom of which was a cornerstone of the modern LGBT movement. Not only that but you are enforcing censorship and gross violations of free speech/expression that can only be seen in some of the most oppressive regimes in the world. Yes it is censorship, whether you admit it or not.
And to those using the excuse that “It’s a local issue now a global one” to silence debate from outside Scotland. You may think your Pride is a local issue but remember, modern day Prides came from protests and demonstrations in America so it is, in fact, a global issue.
I am only grateful that the Pride celebrations in my country are working hard to welcome all and create an inclusive, enjoyable experience for the entire LGBT community and our allies. To the residents of Scotland and the UK insulted and disenfranchised, please feel free to come to a US Pride next year, we’ll welcome you all. Yes especially you lovely drag queens.
We cannot build a unified community that can fight for all issues when you’re building barriers and burning bridges. Attacking your allies (even if it’s friendly fire) will only work so long before you run out of allies.
*waits to get attacked for defending/understanding history, free speech/expression, and inclusiveness*
A savage things lived inside her and it ripped at her insides; it tore the happiness from her wicked grin, the gentleness from her eyes, and the honesty from her words. When threatened the monster would rear its ugly head, HISSING, biting, clawing until safety was achieved. But Victoria’s unchanging body was not immune to damage; hands cracked, and fingers broke and the marble remains lay unmoving on the floor. It did not take much for her to reattach the missing appendage to her sharp-edged wrist, until all that remained was a thin scar, a warning. Scars told stories; they whispered threats and unspoken hostilities, they said I LOST BUT I WON.
❝ Yeah, I felt the snap. ❞ Victoria spat; hostility made a home out of broken girls. ❝ And I’ll be fine. I heal fast. ❞
And Then There Were 3? Anthem Near $48 Bil Cigna Deal
Anthem (ANTM) will announce a deal to buy Cigna (CI) for about $48 billion, or $187 a share as soon as Thursday, according to a variety of reports. Along with other mergers, the managed care industry on the road to shrinking to three giants from five today – if they pass antitrust muster
Cigna, which fell a fraction to 151.07 on Wednesday, rose to about 162 in after-hours trading as reports of an imminent deal came out. Cigna hit a record 170.68 on June 26.
Anthem, which operates Blue Cross Blue Shield plans in many states, has been trying to buy Cigna for weeks. On June 20, it made a hostile bid of about $184. Apparently key questions over who would run the combined entity have been resolved.
Anthem-Cigna would be larger than current No. 1, UnitedHealth Group (UNH).
Meanwhile, Aetna (AET) reached a deal to buy Humana (HUM) for $35 billion earlier this month.
There are other notable managed care firms. A day before the Aetna-Humana announcement, mid-sized insurers Centene (CNC) said it would acquire Health Net (HNT) for $6.3 billion.
Still, the number of health insurance giants could fall to three – UnitedHealth, Anthem and Aetna – in the near future.
That is, if antitrust regulators allow the takeovers to go forward. Investors aren’t so sure. Humana is trading at a significant discount to Aetna’s offer, while the spread has widened on the Centene-Health Net deal. Cigna’s relatively modest rise late Wednesday also may indicate market doubt that the deals will get down.
On the one hand, a handful of big insurers may have more market power to raise premiums or limit benefits. But they also could drive harder bargains with hospitals and drugmakers, helping consumers.
Follow Ed Carson on Twitter: @IBD_ECarson.
They say that bullies are born out of a lack of self esteem, that oppressing or abusing others is a way for the powerless to feel powerful. Could this logic be at the root of Internet sexism?
We love when statistics confirm what we already know.
Michael Kasumovic of the University of New South Wales and Jeffrey Kuznekoff of Miami University, recently published a study of the behaviors of male gamers. The two researchers observed how men treated female gamers during 163 plays of the video game Halo 3.
They found that male players tended to treat each other civilly, regardless of how the game was going, or how skilled they were at their game. Frustrations over losing did not inspire much malice toward other men.
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