made this more than a week ago actually

Two weeks ago I started a project: identify what concrete things in my life are causing me the most anxiety (e.g. a messy spot in the apartment, a pile of mail, looking for a new phone) and start tackling them, but no more than one or two at a time!

I made notes on my progress or lack thereof, and started work on a vague timetable of things I NEED to do, and started allocating slots of time to things I WANT to do as well. And it’s ACTUALLY WORKING!

Even though I’m not sure WHY it’s working!

I KNOW it’s working because 1) I’m actually completing projects and 2) the defeatist internal dialogue that usually accompanies my upticks in anxiety and depression has become much more vague, even in light of the tasks I haven’t yet started on (which means that I subconsciously believe I’ll be able to accomplish them). That is to say, instead of the thought of my “failures” triggering a wave of self-loathing, I only have the vague notion of “things are going well but IT CAN’T LAST! SOMETHING LURKS! SHIT’S GONNA GO DOWN” which, at this point, is much easier to deal with.

As to WHY it’s working, I can only guess. My depression hasn’t significantly improved, but I’m more comfortable accepting the bad days (i.e. instead of just saying “it’s okay if you accomplish nothing today” I actually BELIEVE it, and move on when my mood goes back up). So, it might be that. It might be that I’m actually sticking to the schedule. It might be that—autoimmune diseases aside—I’m actually in better physical health. It might be that I’ve gotten better at organizing. It might be all of the above, which becomes much more obvious when I write it out like this.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And hopefully this will help someone else, too? Not the sparse details of my project, but rather the idea that not only can you live with mental illness for 18 years—SURVIVE it—but you can still surprise yourself. 

Anyway, that’s my life currently. As my “need” list becomes less daunting and more regular, I’m allocating more time to my “want” list, and I’m excited to see where that will take me.

3

It was a little bit more than a week ago when I went onto tumblr and was welcomed by this:

Apparently it’s been happening to other people (one of my friends had the same thing). I have no idea what this is even about (someone said it was a deliberate move by tumblr itself to log people out and force them to reset their passwords but I don’t know). Anyway I made my account ages ago and the e-mail attached to it is not accessible to me anymore. I contacted tumblr support about this in the vain hope that they would actually help. But all I got was ‘security is a top priority’ and ‘The integrity of your account is so important’ and then some links to ‘how to keep your account secure’ and a wikipedia article about cryptography … I gave up after that … 

So this is my new doodle blog (oh yeah and the ‘send verification to the e-mail mechanism’ seemed to be broken as well because I had to ask about that too). Had this been 8 months ago I would have cared much about losing my account but I really did care about my silly little comics (and it seemed like other people did too). So I’m gonna tag this with some dragon age/alistair tags, hoping that maybe some of you, who still care, find your way back here. 8′)

G’bye, Monday!

  • I got up this morning and cleaned up a lil’ bit of our room.  Still didn’t fold my basket of laundry yet but I will tomorrow.  I promise. And clean the toilet too.
  • I made 8 meals for Wolf to take on the road, and put them in the freezer.  Added more everything to the pasta salad I made last night and took it to small group, along with some cookies that Veronica made
  • Did a tattoo touch-up
  • Laid out a roast beef to thaw so tomorrow night we’ll have dinner
  • Knitted a few rows on my sweater.  Transferred ½ the stitches to a 2nd circular needle so I could see if it was time to join the neckline in front.
  • Put together as much of my spinning wheel as I could without watching the video, which Artemas had last I saw it.  Betsy (my 9yo) actually put more of it together than I did.  She remembered how from watching the video 2 weeks ago with her brother.  I am excited to finish assembly and figure out how to use it.
  • Tomorrow somebody remind me to do my online billpay.
  • I’ve been in bed since 10:30 like the badass tattoo artist I am

The absolutely fab @thegladernewty tagged me! thank you!

rules: once you’ve been tagged, you’re supposed to write a post with 82 truths about yourself, and then tag 25 people.

MOST RECENT:

drink: Water 

phone call: I have no idea. I didn’t call anyone yet from my new phone so.. 

text: my mom and that was like a week ago

song you listened to: Youth - Troye Sivan

time you cried: A few weeks ago I guess

HAVE YOU EVER:

dated someone twice: yes

been cheated on: not that I’m aware 

kissed someone and regretted it: not really no

lost someone special: no

been depressed: yes 

been drunk and thrown up: more than once 

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

made a new friend: Actually, yes. Wow. I made a friend. Amazing 

fallen out of love: no

laughed until you cried: probably not? 

met someone who changed you: nah

found out who your true friends are: yeah no, not really. I know who my friends are and that they’re lovely and loyal 

found out someone was talking about you: oh jesus christ everyone’s talking about someone behind their back get over it

kissed someone on your fb list: yes

EXTRAS:

how many people from your fb list do you know irl: probably about 75%

do you have any pets: A dog, a cat and two birds 

do you want to change your name: I’d like to definitely change my surname. My first name is.. okay. I don’t like it but I can live. But my surname isn’t really pretty and doesn’t sound good 

what did you do for your last birthday: I was in bed and watched something probbly. I dk

what time did you wake up today: About 8:30?? 

what were you doing last night: Sleeping? I need my sleep. 

name something you can’t wait for: getting bck to work. I  spent a year doing nothing at all and I really want to work and go to school and do stuff again

have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes

what’s getting on your nerves rn: humans

blood type: I have no idea 

nickname: liz, lizzy?

relationship status: single

zodiac sign:zodiac sign: aries

pronouns: she/her

favorite tv shows: I kind of want to write teen wolf, but nope I just like the characters bc teen wolf is getting worse with each new season tbh. game of thones is pretty rad tho

height: 5′6

do you have a crush on someone: no

what do you like about yourself

right or left handed: lefty

first surgery: never had one 

first best friend: first best friend? A guy called Arne. We were besties for like ever. It’s quite sad that we don’t see each other anymore. We were in the same class until grade 11. He’s super nice and sweet and I really like him

first sport you joined: athletics? I don’t know if it was my first sport I ever did but I know I did this and I was pretty young when I started it 

first vacation: Somewhere in croatia? idk

RIGHT NOW:

eating: chewing gum. it’s not relly eating but well

drinking: water 

i’m about to: do nothing for the rest of the  day 

listening to: nothing

WANT:

kids: nah

get married: i don’t think so

career: working with kids 

WHICH IS BETTER:

lips or eyes: eyes

hugs or kisses: kisses

taller or shorter: taller

older or younger: older

romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous

sensitive or loud: loud 

hookup or relationship: relationship

troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

kissed a stranger: yes

glasses/contacts: both

had sex on the first date: no

broke someone’s heart: probably? 

cried when someone died: I think o

fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

yourself: depends on how I feel that day 

miracles: no

love at first sight: no

heaven: no

kissing on a first date: yes


I tag: @madamechampignon @hopedreamssoul @evil-eye-of-dun @thereyougogreenie @frostpearl 

It’s happening! Despite my hectic schedule at work that’s been taken over my spare time and doesn’t allow me to watch more than one episode a day of any kdrama, I finally decided to take part in this challenging project set up by lovely @jungeums, and, for the next 3 weeks, watch a drama as per someone’s recommendations. I’m thrilled already!

My match is none other than @beaverface-jb, a tumblr user I’ve been familiar with thanks to a certain network we’ve both joined, but we never got around to actually chat, which I’ve been already deeply regretted. I got her sign up sheet days ago and the first thing I noticed and made me extremely happy is that we both love It’s Okay That’s Love, respectively Gong Hyo Jin, an actress that stole my heart years ago with her brilliant performance in The Master’s Sun, and has been on my list of favorite people ever since. Seriously, she’s THE queen! Other than that, our tastes quite vary, but not necessarily in a bad way. I spent a couple of hours going through her list of dramas and observing her personal preferences was lots of fun. Based on her drama list and sign up sheet, I narrowed my choices to 3 dramas that I thought might suit her tastes and ((hopefully)) enjoy. So.

Keep reading

92 Truths about my boring self

Rules: Write a note with 92 truths. Then tag 25 people. Also, tag the person that tagged you.

Tagged by: @philtatos-most-beloved​ (thank you <3)

What was your:

Last drink: green tea (what a surprise, I know)
Last phone call: my mother, I think … but she didn’t pick up.
Last text message: Like ten minutes ago
Last time you cried: more than a few weeks … I actually can’t remember.

Have you ever:

Dated someone twice: No
Been cheated on: No
Kissed someone and regretted it: No
Lost someone special: Yes (which was one of the occasions when I cried)
Been depressed: … *manical laughter in the distance* Yes
Been drunk and thrown up: No

In the last year have you:

Made a new friend: Yes
Fallen out of love: No
Laughed until you cried: Yes
Found out who your true friends are: Yes
Found out someone was talking about you: No
Kissed a follower: No

General:

How many people on Tumblr do you know irl: None (if it’s about face-to-face)
Do you have any pets: a cat
Do you want to change your name: No, not really.
What time did you wake up today: 7 am … then I fell back asleep.
What were you doing last night at midnight: Trying to fall asleep.
Last time you saw your mother: yesterday morning
What’s one thing you wish you could change about your life: Killing off my depression and anxiety … I guess.
What are you listening to right now: Silence of the evening … I’m also cold.
Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes
What’s getting on your nerves right now: that I’m cold and my tea is empty
Blood type: it’s usually red
Nickname: *data not found*
Relationship status: Single
Zodiac sign: Libra
Pronouns: She/her
Favourite tv show: Person of Interest
High School: I finished. Didn’t help me finding a purpose in life.
College: I go to university … is that the same? (Uni did not provide a life goal yet either, disappointingly.)
Hair color: Brown … no matter how many elementary school teachers tell me it’s black.
Long or short hair: jaw-length
Do you have a crush on someone: Yes, but they are gay and an OC.
What do like about yourself: My writing ability … otherwise my sense of humor and my hands. :3
Piercings: My ears, like for earrings … does that count as piercing?
Righty or lefty: Righty

First:

Surgery: I’ve gotten birthmarks removed …
Best Friend: a person
Sport: running away from social interactions
Vacation: England … I think, I don’t really remember.
Trainers/sneakers: the one that’s comfortable

Right now:
Eating: Nothing
Drinking: the rest of the green tea
About to: make more tea
Listening: the sound of my typing

Want:

Kids: not sure yet … kids make me nervous
To get married: not necessarily
Career: Teacher … who can stop teaching to be a full-time writer later

This or that:

Lips or eyes: Eyes.
Hugs or kisses: Hug me!
Shorter/taller: A bit taller or the same height as I am already quite tall.
Older or younger: doesn’t matter because ‘personality’
Romantic or spontaneous: I’m not good with either …
Hookup or relationship: Relationship
Troublemaker or hesitant: both extremes are terrible  

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger: No
Drank hard liquor: Yes (I was dared and regretted it because it tasted awful)
Lost glasses or contacts: No
Sex on the first date: No
Broke someone’s heart: I hope not
Been arrested: Not yet …
Turned someone down: Yes … surprisingly.
Cried when someone died: Yes … if real or fictional, I cry for all of them.

Do you believe:

In yourself: Occasionally.
Love at first sight: Like at first sight …
Heaven: No
Santa Claus: No … I got spoiled for that one very early on.
Angels: No
Kiss on the first date: Possible

I tag: @froehliche-apokalypse, @allofthefanfic , @imnotdrunkimcontemplative

sonya-rostova asked:

Ok, but like, you're such a good writer and a nice person and you make edits too wow you're so cool and the way you portray Esmeralda is wonderful! Your faceclaim for her is perfect too omg

so i know this came more than a week ago, and i held on to it because i really wanted to just finish all the url positivity prompts before addressing this. but please know that this made my whole week! it caught me completely by surprise. i can count on one hand how many personal blogs i interact with regularly, and i sometimes forget how just many there actually are here and how many might take their time to read my stuff. it’s a terribly huge compliment and means a lot, more than words can properly express.

i’m so so so glad you enjoy my writing and portrayal, and it always, always, makes me happy when people give the thumbs-up to my faceclaim. seriously. i don’t want to ramble incoherently, so i’ll just say that i have some more metas (including your prompt) and edits to do, and i hope you’ll like them too. my im is also open for chatting if you like! i hope you have a wonderful day! *huggles*

anonymous asked:

I read on tumblr where someone said that Misha and Mark Sheppard aren't allowed to be in more than 12 eps per season?? Something about the way their contracts are written? There goes my "please have cas in more eps" hopes:P

Source? Other than “something I read on tumblr.”

I made THIS POST less than two weeks ago on this exact subject, with links and documentation on everything I could find on the subject from reliable sources, thanks to @justanotheridijiton.

So unless someone has the actual contract that says otherwise, I’m going to assume that these sources are about as close as we can get to an accurate assessment of the situation. :)

This Is Kanye West’s Yeezy Season 2 Boot Releasing In June
External image

We gave you a first look at the YEEZY Season 2 Boot months ago and now we can say with certainty that it will actually be releasing in the coming weeks. While adidas Originals also confirmed a new YEEZY BOOST release in the next few weeks, the above boot is actually from the YEEZY mainline and not produced by adidas. The more refined duck boot inspired silhouette comes with a butter soft suede upper, and a Crepe outer sole. It is Made in Italy, just like most of the rest of the YEEZY collection. This more elevated and striped-down version is less athletic than the adidas produced sneakers in collaboration with Kanye West and still perfectly translate the YEEZY look onto a shoe silhouette. Look out for a release from select retailers starting June 6.

External image


from Highsnobiety http://ift.tt/25qzNv9
Making Videos (and immediately throwing them away)

It’s funny how what seemed to be an absolutely ‘brilliant’, ‘awe inspiring’, and ‘genius’ idea turns out to feel very cringe-worthy and just a little bit over pretentious and try-hard once it’s been made. Well, I find it funny anyway…

A couple of weeks ago I finally decided what my first video would be. It was about 11pm at night, the idea struck me, and I immediately wrote a list of notes for the video on my phone. The next week I went about filming it and had a jolly ol’ time doing the different shots and finding sound effects that would be needed.

A few days ago, I sat down to edit it.

And… well… no.

I don’t think it will ever see the light of day. It simply didn’t turn out how I wanted it to.

I may still stick with the belief that the idea of the video isn’t a bad one to make, but the fact that I have never made a video like this one before does it no justice.

It’s most likely that I’m over-thinking things (as I usually do) and the video isn’t that bad after all - but personally, I’m not happy with how it turned out and so I’ll start again.

I’m not sure if ‘take 2′ will be the same video or whether I’ll come up with some other idea between now and when I film it but I’m hoping it turns out more natural and just, well, better than this one did.

Until next time,

~Me

Detroit 2016 Olympic Games t shirts Iron On Sticker Tigers'

The actual Detroit Tigers’ warm chair offers space with regard to Ing Avila. at the moderate four-game successful ability offers a minimum of briefly Detroit Tigers logo iron on stickers subsided the actual group stress which swept the actual Detroit 2016 Olympic Games t shirts Iron On Sticker Tigers’ business a week ago. In the enthusiasts, towards the gamers, supervisor with no question completely to 1 apoplectic proprietor, presently there flower a good unavoidable feeling associated with paralyzing desparation as well as frustration. And much more than simply the actual 2016 period made an appearance from concern. As the ire revolved close to supervisor Brad Ausmus along with a revolving throw associated with crisis relievers, leaking beginners, or even a good criminal offense which was viewing spirits in the dish, there is a good unspoken presumption from it’s primary. First year common supervisor Ing Avila is at more than their mind as well as experienced invested proprietor Paul Ilitch’s largesse on the proverbial “ lemon ”. In the event that which demonstrates to become the situation, the actual implications for that business might be long-lasting. BYB publisher Kurt Mensching undertaken which wider viewpoint within their Detroit Newscolumn upon Mon. The first a reaction to Avila’s very first roster had been common authorization within the offseason. However the devastating 2-11 MLB logo heat transfers extend more than May’s very first fourteen days offers examined the DIY Full Color Iron On Stickers actual belief associated with actually probably the most diehard associated with enthusiasts. Following the Tigers authorized Justin Upton within The month of january, GM Ing Avila seemed to possess completed among the best offseasons within football. Almost one fourth method to the period, using the deficits mounting up and also the supervisor nicely upon their method to becoming terminated through the finish from the 12 months, the actual sparkle is actually away. Should you needed to assess Avila’s choices far too earlier, you’d assess him or her roughly. It’s fairly severe to evaluate a good offseason through the very first forty video games approximately associated with a number of multi-season agreements. Should you choose which, you’re likely to obtain several things incorrect. Nevertheless, you will find causes of issue right here. Avila’s way of thinking was directly on some of these offers, however the possible can there be with regard to difficulty. We’ll observe in the event that Avila’s way of thinking takes care of much better down the road.

OJT Adventure (Week 5)

After two weeks of being assigned to the database section. Encoding all the backlogs and such. I have finally finished it through the present day. Since Tuesday this week, I’ve been encoding present day RFAs now. So, with me finishing that up, they now transferred me to help the other OJT, she from MLQU I think, taking up IT with the mailing. It had sort of a nostalgic feeling, I mean like sometime two weeks ago, ive been doing mailing for basically the whole day, in the last office I was in. made me think of that, crap, im in hell again. Believe me, typing, being behind the computer and such is far better than writing, and doing paperworks. Same thing I did, tracking number, sender, consignee, etc. for like more than 50 of it or something. I don’t know. I actually missed being in the other office, being able to watch case hearings is fun.

In the coming days, we had new OJTs, came from San Beda, two of them actually, both are legal management. That basically lessened the workload for me. Thank goodness. With that I once again escaped mailing, they not transferred me to encoding, scheduled conference, of which talking to the complainants and giving them their schedules. It was quite fun, being able talk to people about their employer problems. It made me enjoy this OJT yet again.

I had this one complainant of which, a driver he told me about how he was let go, because of an accident that he said that wasn’t his fault. The delivery car crashed because of faulty brakes which lead to the accident, caused the bumper of the car to fall off. That lead to his dismissal, and his salary not to be payed. At first I was skeptic about his reason of complaining, but when he told me that he went to “Wanted sa Radyo” headed by Raffy Tulfo and asked for help. Have been told to go to NLCR. I didn’t doubt a single thing of what he said. It’s a fascinating experience. The word empathy comes to my mind.

Since we are like overloaded now, basically 4 of us trainees, they kept on switching us, during Friday, I was assigned again to encoding, but this time, I have to sort out those mails that had been packed. All in all, it was a fun week indeed, trying new stuffs made it good.