made this months ago but tumblr never let me upload it

Split - Kai Scenario. Part 5

Summary: You have a perfect life. A perfect little house, perfect little son who just went to Kindergarten for the first time and finally your more than perfect husband, whom you love more than your life. Of course that was three weeks ago. Before your husband decided to leave the family.

Word Count: 2076

A/n: I know this is short but I’d rather upload something now and something in a week than nothing at all. It hasn’t been the best times for me on this blog lately but I can’t stop writing this story for myself and you guys…

MY MASTERLIST  

(For mobile)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6

i’m sorry tumblr won’t let me add “keep reading”


Originally posted by dazzlingkai

I recommend rereading part 4 before starting this chapter!!!

You wake up on a Sunday morning with a sigh. Now you perfectly understand the meaning of that one saying. As if you’re a schoolgirl and it’s finally the last day of your holidays. But in your case you haven’t missed what’s to come even for a bit.

But this time, you decide not to sulk and make the most of the day which will probably be the last one you’ll ever spend with your complete family. Negative thoughts try to find their way into your mind but this time you do your best to keep them out and just enjoy last Sunday you’ll spend happily.

You won’t ruin it.


You quickly get out of the bed. this time you don’t wake up next to your almost ex-husband which is quite a disappointment, but then you sneak a look inside Tae’s room and see him hugged by his father in sleep. And it’s quite enough for you. You can share Jongin with your son even if you’re very selfish.

You don’t lose time swooning over the perfect picture and step inside the bathroom to get ready for the day. After washing up and putting on a comfortable sundress, you head to the kitchen. You plan to make this day perfect for everyone and in your family’s case that means food.

Although you like the thought of healthy diet, the thought of Jongin and Tae’s happiness when they see fried chicken for breakfast is enough persuasion you need.

Time goes quickly while you do everything to make sure that the “breakfast” table is flawless. And just when you’re about to put the last plate on it, you hear footsteps and soon both of your favorite boys step inside the kitchen. You don’t know who’s more excited when seeing what they’re about to eat.

“You’re just in time for breakfast.” You say with a big smile, even though it’s already half past two in the afternoon, it’s normal with Jongin and Tae who goes after his father in everything.

“The smell woke us up.” Jongin can’t take his eyes off the table. “This smells so good, how could we have slept more.” He laughs and sits next to Tae. They’ve both already started devouring the food.

“Wow this is really good.” Jongin comments. “I haven’t tasted anything better for a while, where did you order this?” he asks while handing Tae the neck of chicken. “Start with this.” He adds.

“I made this actually.” You say quietly. Jongin stops and widens his eyes while chewing slowly. “Mommy is the best cook ever, isn’t she?” Tae says with a full mouth. You laugh and wipe his lips.

“Yeah, she is.” Jongin says quietly and you feel your cheeks redden. It’s like you’re returned to high school phase, or just the start of your friendship with Jongin. Not as if you’ve spend years next to him.

Almost an hour passes when the three of you are finally finished with the food. Tae tries to keep up with his dad whose tummy seems to have a hole and is never satisfied. But when the plates are finally empty Jongin suggests watching television so the three of you move to the living room and get comfortable on the couch.

And that’s how the last day (as you hate to call it) is spent. Nothing is special but amazing at the same time. The only time either of you move is to get to the bathroom or get the next fill of snacks. You’re watching cartoons and the Disney movies even Jongin enjoys singing along to.

When the sun is set, Tae runs to his room to get his favorite blanket and returns jumping in his father’s lap. He covers both of them with it and grabs your arm to bring you closer. You’re hesitant at first – you don’t want to make Jongin uncomfortable, but then you see them all cuddly and warm and there’s nothing that can hold you back from joining.

You move closer slowly also getting under the blanket but keeping some distance from your husband but you’re surprised, that when your neck is getting too uncomfortable for it to be laying naturally, Jongin is the one to pull his arm around you and let it rest against his shoulder, right in the position where you can also reach to kiss Tae’s head. You didn’t expect it. Definitely didn’t but for the first time in a month you feel that you’re warm again and you hadn’t even realized how frozen your body had become, deprived of his warmth.

There’s something different about him. Always has been. Just like no heating system can warm you up as well as a walk under the sun can, Jongin’s arms are the same. He’s your personal sun, your only natural way to life.

You can’t even imagine how much you crave for it.

After a while you realize that Tae has fallen asleep on his father’s chest. But you can’t blame him. Jongin is just so warm and so comfortable all you want to do is to finally get the good night’s sleep peacefully for once. But the other part forces you to stay awake to remember every single second of the time you finally felt so, so happy.

In that moment you clearly realize one thing.

He’s here. With a woman who will soon become his ex-wife. And there’s one logical question jumping in your mind.

“Jongin?” you call out, quietly enough not to wake up your son.

“Yes?” he answers, so softly that you never want that sound to leave your ears.

“How does she feel about you being here?” you drop the question, you’re truly curious about. But nothing could surprise you more than what Jongin says next.

“Who?” he asks.

You don’t know if you’re imagining it, or that you’re already stepped into your nightly dream, but you think his fingers are slowly caressing your arm. He truly seems to not recognize who you’re talking about.

“Fei.” You answer with a single word. That name won’t ever leave your memory.

You look up at Jongin secretly and see momentary confusion dwell in his eyes.

“Oh, her.” He adds and stays quiet for a moment. “Well I don’t think she likes that I’m here. She told me not to come.” He says quietly.

Of course she doesn’t. As negatively as you might be inclined towards that girl you understand that she wouldn’t want Jongin to stay over here. But you can’t sympathize when she’s the one going after a still-to-be-divorced man.

Soon after another thought occupies your mind. You know it’s childish to compare how Jongin treats Fei to how he treated you, but she told him not to come and here he is, in your living room. Not once would Jongin ever make you uncomfortable with his decisions when he lived with you. In the good old times he wouldn’t have left you alone like he did with Fei.

You’re absolutely sure of that and that thought makes you even warmer inside. Curling deeper into Jongin’s chest you have no negative thoughts raiding your mind.

 


On a Monday morning Jongin wakes up just on time without the need of an alarm clock. Slowly dressing in his formal attire he proceeds to the bathroom and kisses the head of his son who’s diligently brushing his teeth. Next he walks inside the kitchen and sees her.

She turns around to look at him and doesn’t even try to form a smile. Jongin can see how the light that was so bright inside her eyes yesterday is now completely gone. Breakfast goes in a quiet matter, so unusual to this happy household. Jongin offers to take Tae to Kindergarten and soon sees his son jumping inside his backseat. Moving like a robot she walks over and fixes his tie, he doesn’t even notice it was crooked. Well she was always better at handling it anyway.

Turning around she slides a sheet of paper in front of him, Jongin looks closely and sees lots of too professional words he hates so much.

“I signed it.” she says quietly. “Like I promised. You’re free.” That’s it. just a little doodle of Jongin’s signature is needed and everything will be over. Isn’t it what he wanted? Without a word he slides the papers inside his laptop bag and walk to the door.

Similar to the times before she walks him to the door and just like it used to be usual, he kisses her forehead and says “Bye”. But this time it doesn’t feel like usual at all.  



The day goes as usual for you. Just like it’s been this past month. You go to work, use your lunch period to pick up Tae and chew on a small bun to get you through the day. You make sure Tae doesn’t mess around and does his homework, then you take his hand and go back to the journey back home. You unlock the house, take off your coat, wash Tae’s hands and heat up the dinner you cooked the previous day. As if everything is the same but at the same time nothing is.

Even if usually you always manage to put a smile on your face just for the sake of your son, today you can’t. Today you can’t force yourself anything. You don’t have enough energy. And you know Tae feels it. Not just your feelings but you can see the same mood from him. Your son hasn’t smiled all day and you hate it. You hate it more than anything.

You know what changed. The hope is gone. Even if you spent the month alone you hoped, you wished Jongin would wake up and just come back, for you the bright future of your family wasn’t torn. You still hoped, deep down in your heart. Now you know it’s over. You lost. You lost him.

You finally manage to set the table managing not to break down seeing the number of plates. You will stay strong for your child. He deserves to have you properly functioning. Tae comes from his room slowly and sits down by your low table.

“Eat well, Tae.” You smile warmly and reach to kiss his head. He smiles too. And how can a five year old’s smile even be so full of sadness.

You’re just about to eat when you hear the lock of your front door open. You don’t know what to think. Your motherly instincts are reaching for Tae in case of a burglary. Why would a burglar step inside your house so calmly, it’s irrational you know, but you can’t give yourself any false hope that maybe what you think is happening, is actually happening.

You’re only looking at Tae, afraid to look straight at the entrance and you see your son’s face change. From curiosity to confusion and finally a shy and timid smile forms on his face.

“Daddy.” He calls.

You finally look forward.

“Started dinner without me?”

Jongin is standing with his suitcase, dressed warmly in a winter coat, his shoes are already neatly arranged in their proper place. There’s a small pout on is face for emphasis.

He looks godly.

He looks like home.

Tae looks lost, but you’re sure you’re even more confused. But your son fixes himself in a second and runs to hug his dad, like he would every day. Your son can control himself very well, but you’re sure Jongin can also see just how happy he is to see his dad, home.

You don’t let down your guard yet.

You stay frozen at your seat.

“Ahh, today was such a tiring day at work, I can’t even stand on my feet.” Jongin yawns and takes off his coat. “I’ll go wash my hands. Y/N can you please check my bag? There’s so much trash in there from work, could to throw it out? Or I’ll forget and it’ll stay there for days…” he continues talking down the hallway, his voice slowly disappearing.

I have to add a plate you think, but first, you walk over and pick up Jongin’s suitcase, opening the zip. You see paper, torn to little pieces. Torn so fiercely you wouldn’t have recognized it hadn’t you put it here in the morning. 

It’s the divorce papers.

And even though they’re destroyed, you can clearly see, there’s not a trace of Jongin’s signature.  


any kind of reviews are welcome you know that guys please flood my askbox!

I got my account back yay

LONG TEXT ALERT🚨 ALERTA TEXTÃO

So, for those who don’t know what’s going on, my tumblr got terminated some hours ago. I made another tumblr because I was freaking out with the ideia of loosing everything here hahaha. Happily I was able to get it back!

The reason that my blog was deleted was because I linked my stardust bodysuit post to hallows** site, which is aparently banned from tumblr o.O

Be careful guys. I didn’t knew they would delete my tumblr just because of that, it’s really crazy. It didn’t happened just with me, a bunch of people told me on the posts I wrote, that the same thing happened to them. They should warn before doing it you know? Anyway, everything is fine now. Thanks a LOOT for everyone who supported, message me and followed me on the another tumblr. I am really grateful for that

(Special thanks to @lumy-sims @sssvitlans @metens who got me calm hahaha)

Now, lets talk about adfly hate.

I recently saw the post of @simpliciaty-cc and I’m shocked. This event that happened to me today helped it.
I always avoid to talk about this subject because I hateee it. I think it’s so childish and ridiculous this type of behavior 💤 . It’s unbelievable!
We creators spend many many hours putting effort into our custom content, what’s the problem of getting some dollars to support us?
The money I’ve been gaining in the past few months are going to my computer’s repair. For the ones who don’t know, it’s been like 4 months that the screen of my pc broke, and since then I’ve been using a not so much good notebook haha. Anywayyysss.

What I want to say is that, it’s okay to don’t like adfly. I don’t like it haha… but you should understand that this doesn’t cost anything. What is 3 secs compared to 4 hours creating?? If you can’t stand ads, download adskiper or simply don’t download it, idk… I also upload my creations on TSR ,which doesn’t contain adfly, but it has ads anyway so… ? sorry

But this what is happening with @simpliciaty-cc @lumy-sims and another creators is SICK. This is pure hate. I can’t describe in words how outraged I got about this. It’s getting ridiculous. you have my total support and sorry for not saying nothing about that before… this is really sad, and worrying. I hope that the person behind this re think about its own attitudes. This is not normal. Hate will never be the answer, never. 😕

Things I’ve Learned About SA after being a Camgirl

I would say that I’ve had an ideal experience with sugaring purely on SA. I’ve had tuition taken care of (low cost in-state, granted), lived without worrying about rent, travelled to cities, been given shopping sprees, gone to amazing restaurants, and have men who will send me money via PayPal whenever a financial issue comes up. 


It’s not something I’ve invested my life into- I’m still a student taking 19 credits who still works about 20 hours per week at least. I think most of the sugar bowl on Tumblr is looking for what I’ve had- many girls aren’t ready for escorting and are just looking to not worry about money. 

The way the American college system works is an absolute sham. It’s revolting. The cost of an education has turned into a system of modern day feudalism- people are imprisoned by their debt after college and lose their freedom because of student loan payments. 

The sugar bowl has been a way around that for me. I had previously worked as a camgirl for MFC and loved it, and now this was a different type of game. Camming, to me, is slightly on the decline- if you look at the web traffic for these web sites they’ve been dipping since they peaked in about 2012 and 2013 when I was making the most money. It’s also risky because people will take videos and images of you and repost them, and DCMAs are not easy to enact because these images are often uploaded by a different party. I had reached the point where I had made a good amount of money without too many images like this circulating, but I knew if I continued it would only become riskier, and the money at this point wasn’t as good.


The sugar bowl can be amazing and rewarding, but it truly is a matter of investing a lot of time researching and contacting these men. 

Here’s a list of things I have found in the sugar bowl to keep in mind once you’ve found a POT: 

1. You need to treat it like a job. 

Quick responses, frequent availability, and thinking ahead are key. It’s understandable if your schedule is dictated by your courses, but if you cancel on a POT because of an exam you are now wasting his time, which means you are wasting his money. His time is, from a logistical view, more valuable than yours. (This is not the case BEFORE you’ve found a POT- your time is valuable and I recommend chatting on the phone before dolling yourself up and going on a date. There are a lot of time wasters with no intent to hand over a dime.) Be aware of this. Make reservations and suggest places to eat yourself. Give dates and plans as much structure as you can and show him that you’re taking initiative. Let him truly relax and make sure spending time with you becomes his favorite mental vacation.

2. Never take his promises for granted. 

If you’ve found a POT, chances are, he sees the arrangement more as a personal relationship than a business transaction. If he feels this way, that’s a good thing, it means you’re executing the illusion well. However, because of the informal nature of these types of relationships, you cannot rely on a certain amount of dates or money. Don’t rely on these men as your only way to pay rent. Life happens, and if you’re paid x amount per meet, but something comes up, you can’t set yourself up for disappointment when he doesn’t come through. 

3. The best kind of relationship, in my opinion, is when you both have your separate lives, and get together to escape for a little while.

If he’s the type that wants to talk every day, I would be concerned. Bullshitting a few times a month is doable and profitable. Bullshitting and putting up a facade every day is incredibly draining and can take away from your productivity and sanity. He might be a bit clingy at first before realizing the dynamic, but if it continues after the initial excitement of a few dates, question whether it’s worth it.

These are just a few observations based on mistakes that I’ve made. Love all you guys and hope you make that money!

XOXOXO

@new-england-sugar

One more piece of advice: the blog @lets-talk-sugar is absolutely full of terrible advice that isn’t relevant to the sugar bowl as it is today. It might have been more useful five years ago, but these days subsistence sugaring (sugaring for college babies to take care of expenses) is a lot more realistic unless you are truly one of those ladies who invests an incredible amount of time and effort maintaining yourself to escort-like standards. (I clean up nice, and have natural FFs, am bilingual and fairly well-travelled, but I don’t do eyelash extensions, acrylic nails, blowouts etc. because I just don’t have the money for it). Just an opinion.

The Voice

summary: Dan didn’t to hear a voice in his head, because that would mean he had a soulmate. Dan didn’t want love. For Dan, loving someone meant getting hurt. When he heard the voice for the first time, he tried to shut it out. Can he shut it out forever?
Genre: Lots of angst, some fluff and comfort, friends to lovers, soulmate AU
Warnings: None I think. Let me know if this needs warnings!
Word count: 2707
A/N: So this is my first phanfic. I wrote this months ago and decided that I didn’t like it, but I found this on my old laptop and I think it’s worth sharing it with you guys. Let me know what you think!

Dan was frightened. He tried to go over every person he’d met that day to find out who could be the stranger in his head, but he didn’t have a clue. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to know.

He didn’t want this. His parents had told him the story of when they heard each other for the first time. That special first time when they knew they’d found their soulmate.

Because that’s how life works, Dan was told. When you met your soulmate, you’d start having a connection. You’d feel different for a few hours. And then the real thing started: the voice. You’d be able to communicate with your soulmate using only your thoughts. It was magical.

Keep reading

The Wrong Window

a.k.a. what happens when I can’t think of a proper title.

(Sequel: The Coffee Date)

Pairing: Phan

Genre: Fluff (I guess), AU

Warnings: Some swearing, references to alcohol

Summary: Dan gets drunk when staying in Manchester and ends up getting lost on his way back from a party. He ends up at a block of flats where his friend lives, but what will happen when he climbs in the wrong window, only for his idol AmazingPhil to be the one to find him in the morning?

Word Count: 3,921

A/N: So I saw this prompt (getting drunk and climbing in the wrong window and waking up shirtless on a stranger’s couch) and thought it was really cute and wanted to write something for it, and also needed something to practice with as I pretty much haven’t written anything since April. So this happened. Re-reading it and it’s not as bad as I thought it was, but it’s not my best either (feedback still appreciated though). I said I’d post it though, so here we go.

Oh and I seem to have developed a habit of starting each new section with a single word sentence, sorry.

Also so much dialogue in this ugh kill me.

Keep reading

1432 & Drama:

*I’ve spent so many months now sending anons on 5h/Camren related blogs with theories. So you probably have read what’s written below a couple of times before. IMPORTANT NOTE: This is a theory I built on my head based on the latest events, MY POV & what I know about the industry (which is pretty limited but at least I’m aware of some things) If u don’t agree with any of it there’s no need to disrespect, again is merely my opinion*

**I wrote this theory three or four days ago and asked sun-to-my-luna to post the ss for me. Then I thought of creating this blog & posting it here, btw I added a few things. The paragraphs on bold are the extra parts** ———————————————————————————————————


Isn’t it interesting how the narrative with 5H has had a “plot twist”? First C was the bad guy of the story & now it’s reversed: The rest of girls are seen as hypocritical bitches…
I want y'all to forget about them for a moment, search through music history & focus on other girlgroups . Not just regular girlbands, names like Destiny’s Child, The Spice Girls, Pussycat Dolls… Now think, what do they all have in common? They were known for having “feud & breakup rumours” up to their throats. Usually related to: Constant fights, or one of the members accused of having stoled the spotlight from the others, etc…
Why? I consider the main reason it’s cause *sarcasm* our lovely patriarchal society decides to always pitt women against women, the stigma that girls don’t work well with each other it’s been used by Hollywood since God knows when. That’s why media in general makes remark of it every time they have a chance & adding fuel to the fire. If you take a look at how they pull headlines for the equivalent situation with boybands, normally you’d find the reporter saying stg annoying like: “Ugh we hate to see our fav boys being fed up with each other, but don’t worry, I’m pretty sure they’ll fix things in no time…” or similar BS (invariably a rumour it’s over exaggerated by media but it was an e.g. to emphasise the whole idea of sexism here).

Back to 5H, it’s easy to put two & two together: THIS IS THE SAME NARRATIVE THEY ARE APPLYING WITH THEM. Stunt strategy. THEIR FIGHT IS MANUFACTURED. “To any action there’s a reaction”. Their team is arranging the “problematic GG” image to gain attention, spotlight, give the GP stg to talk about- let’s never forget how much people are drawn to gossip- but most importantly a strategy to SELL MORE. It’s not a secret that musicians make more profit out of touring. Think of how many arenas, how much the 7/27 tour sold. Easy, cause fans were worried it could be the last one. Epic must be the one behind this plan, Maverick (I don’t like them but I think they just follow orders from Epic most of the time).
The band’s rift started June/July 2015, since then everything has gone downhill when it comes the group’s reputation. We literally have no clue what goes BTS. We are only shown a 10% if we’re lucky. Therefore, who truly knows what could have led this disagreement to stir in the first place? Everyone thinks it’s the duet what triggered it, BUT AGAIN THAT’S THE NARRATIVE THEY WANT TO SELL US. It could have been the duet, it could have happened for many other reasons; either way their team saw potential on this & took it from there. It’s a well constructed plot.
At the very beginning I mentioned a plot twist, I’ll explain: Three days ago we kept believing C was the one who gave start to the “solo ventures” only to find out L was in talks for a project of her own a month prior to IKWYDLS release. Now… None of these determines which was planned sooner, of course everything indicates C’s song was written & recorded before but the planning of things inside the industry continues to amaze me with every second passed. Without sounding too paranoid or too pretentious, mgmt has a timeline & the order to follow each event is very precise.

Rumours were already all over the place by the time the girls went to the studio to record 7/27 (Oct/Nov 2015). This means there were still a couple of months ahead to put them back on track, back in the map. Without material, they had to keep the name of 5H on the spotlight. The gossips did their job. As a mainstream act, is so much easier to achieve & I really don’t need to explain this…
As far as I remember they had recorded a couple of takeovers by the time the Reflection European Tour was happening or at least they were rumoured, in case it was true, they never got uploaded… Again mgmt didn’t want to give us a full insight of how their friendship actually was- make no mistake, I’m not saying they didn’t have an altercation, we can tell they clearly had, but bear in mind the industry is controlling as hell- on what terms they were. No one is certain of how long their real feud could have lasted but obviously with media suffocating them, the fandom dividing intro branches (which I personally don’t consider [ot4s & -nizers] part of the fandom & no one should either) their label manipulating them, etc… obviously all of those aspects must have had an impact on their bond & later on led them to have better communication (as they’ve been claiming on recent interviews).
Whatever altercation they had, it has never stopped cause it will continue for as long as mgmt wants to take promo out of it. Basically for as long as they want to manufacture it. (Another reason why I don’t see takeovers coming back, sadly).

The girls not standing close on red carpets, leaving gaps…not quite sure when the girls stopped “posing like a group” but it was certainly before the duet. Maybe they strongly dislike red carpets & don’t give a shit about it (many other artists do, so…) Or it could also play another part to their “dysfunctional group image”. Still, after so many years & so many carpets, I’m pretty sure it loses the fun at some point.

So a stunt strategy would mean the girls have to act along this story line. Why am I so convinced about it? Cause it’s honestly the only way I can connect the dots. Specifically in these past few days, I’ve seen the majority of harmos confused about the girls’ actions. But keep in mind that if they disobey or hint at anything that goes against of what they’re pretending, surely they get called for it & they’re ordered to do or say stg else to keep the boat of lies afloat prompting to more confusion & the motive of why we don’t seem to fill in the blanks ever.
Defying their label… There are many ways to punish an artist. Mainly through its image, sometimes by controlling their actions or sending someone to drag them in a number of forms. I wonder if the girls have been punished through one of the many gossip articles… ¿?

If their team is manoeuvring the “they hate each other” tactic, the cards they play, have to match their moves as well (such a publicity stunt must have its flaws, mgmt must find very difficult to hide things from us). Every single time OT5 seems to be rising, there’s stg that “stops” it.
E.g. After D & L had spoken for several interviews addressing rumours & how they are like sisters to each other, etc… “Their lifestyle isn’t really conducive to friendship, you hope to keep people working together as long as you possibly can without the whole thing imploding.”- Maverick’s Adam Lamber on 5H (Billboard article). Coincidence ¿?
Though D is constantly trying to keep OT5 alive, I would say at times she’s given green light for DAMAGE CONTROL PURPOSES. The fanbase is pretty intense already, their team obviously needs to control us. The “breakup” narrative mainly applies for media & GP; as fans we overthink in general, we’re sceptical so without D feeding our little OT5 hearts we’d be driven mad tbh. They got to keep it balance for both sides.

A moment that caught us off guard indeed was when a familiar vid of OT5 jamming to IKWYDLS at that award show invaded our Twitter timelines.
“So the girls actually support C?”-> THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION…
I’m a firm believer they do, albeit I would say there exist restrictions as in when the other girls can show their public support or not.
Let me elaborate: D showed us on her SC her support for BT- btw N was also there with her during the performance, see the vid again in case y'all missed it- but here’s the funny part: None of the girls congratulated C through TWITTER ACTIVITY, yet they all did for L. I am led to believe they weren’t going to post or liked anything related to BTM, bc (to be fair) if they weren’t given the chance to do it for C, they wouldn’t do it for L either. But to keep on with the narrative, mgmt made them do it (the worst part of it all is that it worked cause y'all extra asses exploded on my tl). A year ago almost each but A, tweeted C for IKWYDLS (in my opinion, those congratulations didn’t seem that genuine) if they were quote unquote shady back then (when they were actually between a disagreement) why acting even more petty now (when they actually are on positive terms) & not acknowledging your bandmate project at all? It makes no sense (I repeat, only thru Twitter, cs y'all give it too much relevance apparently).

What keeps being the detonator for further drama explosions within the fandom is the hate C’s received & LAND’s silence towards it. My theory is based on how much of a puppet show is the industry’s life (go check out emisonme latest post to see what I mean, very important info to take into consideration).
You’d be utterly innocent if you’ve never considered mgmt able to control their social media accounts & their comment on these (quick note: bday posts, virtual interactions totally fall under this category). L has said in the past (through Tumblr ask) that even their blogs are monitored so Twitter is definitely out of the question.
Here’s what I think: The girls don’t make PUBLIC statements to defend C not bc they don’t want to, bc THEY ARE NOT ALLOW TO.
It makes them look shitty as hell, but let’s bring back that day when we found out C was harassed with text messages by that band [I don’t recall their name] stg as sexist as that, was expected to bring the others to say anything. Seriously the girls promote feminism in all the extent of the word but that day they stayed muted. Leaves me wondering: Was it really by choice? If y'all think them fake ass feminists, okay then… To me this only proved further the way they’re restricted with interactions *cough* camren *cough*
Trust me, I’d love to see the girls standing up for C, but at this point haters gonna hate. Unfortunately it doesn’t take one or four tweets to stop it.
Keeping 4/5 from tweeting about the hatred the most popular member gets…it’s pretty self explanatory. SCANDAL it’s written all over it. Sounds like hitting the jackpot for media & reporters…

Speaking of reporters, interviewers come to mind: Have y'all ever wondered why 5H has never been on a talk show? 2016 promised a lot for them, at least more than one show could have invited them by now… Idk on a scale 1-10 how scripted those interviews are, but I can assure it will give us a glimpse of OT5’s relationship overall. What if their label doesn’t want that yet? Maybe not exactly for us to see where does the band currently stands, but for OUTSIDERS. People who don’t belong to the fandom, they’ve all heard the same thing: Fifth Harmony are not friends with one another. Despite on how united they’re today, the GP perceives the group like each girl hates the girl next to her. It will take only one interview for those to realise: “It seems they’re closer of how media pins them”. (About this last part, don’t take too much, I have yet to think why haven’t they been on a talk show properly, to me it’s honestly weird, but there could literally be a variety of reasons; besides I legit ignore how an artist is invited or scheduled, I’m not that inform on the subject).

Sure 5H has fights now & then & it’s hard to be on the same page always (like it happens with any group) but to be in the midst of such a toxic ambiance- where you don’t even allow a balanced coexistence to develop- 24/7 for any of the members for more than a year now, just imagine…(excuse me but I don’t believe the girls capable of doing that, creating that type of unhealthy work environment, it’d be just miserable & I legitimately trust they are not the kind of people to hold resentment).
What happened with N on Twitter, well it could be two things: Whether she wasn’t aware this acc had bullied C before or mgmt did it. I mean as an ambassador of an anti cyberbullying project, it’s just absurd to think she did it on purpose. I genuinely don’t think mgmt made her tweet that, simply I believe she didn’t stalk that acc & didn’t noticed the hatred behind.

By this point I don’t know how many of y'all continue to be engaged on the theory… I understand my position is more “blame it all on the industry rather than the celeb”.
Some of y'all say C is the bad guy, others claim that the rest are the villains, when in reality the real enemy of the story is THE INDUSTRY. The industry doesn’t give a fuck about their feelings or if they get hate on a daily basis.
E.g. Jojo during her transition to adulthood was told to lose weight or else her album wouldn’t be release. The fact that many artists are closeted say a lot (open your eyes, L WAS GIVEN PERMISSION to come out… If you seriously think any celebrity is granted the choice to scream out their sexuality whenever they feel ready to, then you live in a giant bubble of fantasy).
This industry forces them to lie or change aspects that go from their appearance to sexual orientation. Aspects that are turned into an spectacle just so these “chairmen” can get their filthy hands on an absurd amount of money. Just like government there’s always someone behind. THE DARK SIDE OF FAME, truly goes beyond lack of privacy & cameras following you everywhere. The difference between the percentage of profits a label takes in compare to their stars it’s massive.

It may seem like I’m “kissing ass” but I do want to clarify stg: The girls aren’t perfect, they make mistakes obviously. No, I don’t think they all have done things completely right during this process- yeah, it truly might be that C was the one who screwed up when the duet happened, or a possibility for LAND to have missed the chance for standing for her when she needed the most- however we don’t have the right to reproach them for this, by no means disrespect any for the same. As our idols, it’s natural that we care so much but we can’t pry THAT FAR into there personal live or careers cause in the end, like it or not, we only see the film once that it’s edited & set on screen, but never the way it was worked behind cameras.
As the audience, I’ve noticed we tend to expect a lot from celebrities. All celebrities in general. One fail & the internet won’t let them forget (even after they’ve apologised). We have to remember that THEY’RE HUMANS TOO. They fall, they get back on their feet, they change but an aspect that most haters choose to erase from them is the fact that THEY FEEL. Being in the public eye is hard enough. Our jobs as the audience is not to turn this even tougher for them. More than one celeb has addressed how they can have it all but at the same time how they feel empty & destroyed inside.
To me the best kind of celebrity is the one who is nothing but grateful towards the fans & the one who takes the time to continuously learn to educate them. The girls might have screwed up in the past (& bc they ain’t robots) they will, but if I’m well aware of stg is that they have proven multiple times to be this type of celeb. They thank us for every achievement, appreciate us, & use their platforms to spread awareness & love. Please respect them.

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Tips on identifying herbs ( or at least how I do it)
If you are interested in a closer relationship to nature around you, working with herbs is a fundamental part of that connection. I have recently started trying my luck with wildcrafting, going outside my house fence for herbs. I already had a lot curiosity to understand the resources that grew independently without my care, its like sharing the gifts of the goddess. Anyways, this can be difficult in the beginning, specially if your neighborhood is not Scarborough Fair, surrounded by famous and easy to recognize plants like parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme. So these are little tips on I how I got started and I hope they help someone.

- Look around. Seems like an obvious thing but, when you just pay attention to the trees and plants you pass everyday, you realize things you never imagined. For example, after I started paying attention I noticed how rich my neighborhood actually is. We have a hedge full of figs, 3 guava trees, two avocado trees and a huge blackberry tree. They all extend their branches to the street, so depending on the time of year, free fruits are out for the taking. The blackberries are specially delicious.
-Cameras are your friend. Take pictures of the plant before you harvest any. And nowadays everyone has one on their phone. Take pics of the leaves, flowers and fruits, and stems too. That will help you with the next step.
- Googling for Plant Identification. Did you know that google has a search by image button? You can upload your image and it tries to find images similar to that. If you have a portrait of a flower it can very easily find other like it and guide you to a website featuring information about it. When that does not help, simply typing a description of what you see in the image might take you where you want to go. There were many wild plants that I didn’t have a clue of what they were and I just typed “small yellow flowers with three pointed leaves and thin stems” and found them on google images. That description led me to Wedelia Minor, a small weedy flower that covers an alley beside my house. I discovered that this flower is actually a very nice little tea and medicine BUT that leads me to the next tip.
- Dont EVER eat or use something you are not entirely sure what it is. Another silly warning, but it never hurts. Googling may get you started, but further research of the plant is needed. Many plants look alike, and variations of the same plant have different properties. For example, on that same Wildcrafting research day I discovered that Morning Glories can be either hallucinogenic or good medicine, depending on their color. The plants look the same, visually is just a color variation, like white rose and red rose. Its obviously not the same, but it illustrates the point of caution first.
- If you have someone to ask, please do. I bet that even if you posted you cellphone pic on tumblr asking for help on identifying a plant, people would help you and point you in the right direction. And of course, talking with a professional herbalist is always the best bet.
- Having an herbarium is a good documentation of your acquired knowledge. I often forget some details of plants I studied months ago, and I always go back to my Herbarium. Not only it becomes a beautiful book, but writing things down helps me remember. It brings knowledge to experience, and then to a more solid memory.
- Illustrated books on your area. In Brazil, where I live, those are not so easy to find on a local scale, but on a national range there are giant books on kinds of trees and examples on where they might be. Those examples help you figure out if that plant could survive in your weather conditions and time of the year. The book I have even has single photos of the leaves, fruits, seeds and flowers in close up shots. And for identification I usually rather own books with pictures. Illustrations are beautiful and I love doing them, but as any form of art it leaves a lot of room for interpretation. I have seen some old illustrations of Rosemary that made me doubt if we were talking about the same plant.

I am not saying this is the right way, its just how I have managed to do it so far. If I am completely wrong about any of those procedures, please let me know, I love to know more on things that I am interested in. And if you have your own methods and ideas I didn’t think about, please share them too, I am more than curious on your thoughts. And thanks for reading! =D
'Hair Dye Q&A'

requested by anonymous

summary: Michael is delighted to help me dye my hair and make a YouTube video for my channel

yes, this is pretty similar to the concept of my dying my hair and filming a Q&A, I’m recycling ideas and it’s damn cute okay?

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A Comet Appears (A So Many Stars Extra)

Pairing: Phan
Genre: Angst, English teachers in Japan AU, Extra
Word Count: 7,334 words
Description: Phil is in some serious denial (or Chapters 9 and 10 of So Many Stars from Phil’s perspective.)

**MAJOR SPOILERS** for So Many Stars, so please read that first!! Also, for that reason, warnings are under the cut.

Read So Many StarsCh. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16| Ch. 17 | Ch. 18 | Ch. 19 | Ch. 20 | Ch. 21 | Ch. 22 | Ch. 23 | Ch. 24 | Ch. 25 | Epilogue

A/N: lots of people have asked if i would ever write a sequel or extras to “so many stars.” i’m not planning a sequel, but i thought it would be interesting to write some of the events from phil’s perspective and show a little of what was going on behind the scenes. i hope you enjoy it!

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