made in california with love

Jim Jones was a cult leader responsible for the murder-suicide now known as the Jonestown Massacre, where 918 people lost their lives.  In order to understand how this tragedy happened, it’s important to know how Jonestown began.  Who was Jim Jones and how was he able to gain the love, respect and trust from so many that they were willing to die for him?

Jim Jones was born May 13, 1931 in Crete, Indiana. He grew up in a very poor family, residing in a shack with no electricity.  From a very young age Jones had an obsessive interest in religion.  As a child, he would hold sermons in his backyard and have neighborhood children attend his church services.  Sometimes when the children wanted to leave, Jones would lock all the doors and refuse to let them leave, forcing them to stay and listen to his sermons. He was very harsh on children who were not as interested in church as he was and would take personal offense. By the age of 16, Jones was preaching to both black and white churches, which was highly unusual, as the city was still segregated. But Jones had a very upbeat and friendly personality and he was very passionate about the poor and the underrepresented, and empathized with the non-whites.

After graduating high school, Jim went to college to study medicine and began working as a hospital orderly. During that time in 1949, Jim met Marceline Baldwin, a nurse who worked in the same hospital. After dating for a short time, Jim and Marceline would get married.  A few years later in 1952, Jim was working as a student pastor in a Methodist church and the congregation did not take kindly to Jim’s beliefs in desegregation. It is important to note that the Ku Klux Klan was very well known in Indiana during the time Jones resided there.  At one time, there were more members in the KKK there than in any other state.  Around 250,000 men were members of the Indiana KKK at its peak, which included many prominent government officials, police and the like.  Racial tension was at an all time high and Jones preaching about loving your neighbor of all colors and interracial congregations was neither accepted, nor tolerated. Jones had no choice but to resign as pastor.  It was then that he formed his own congregation.  Originally the church was known as Community Unity and it focused on Christian beliefs. It was during his time of running the Community Unity that Jones decided that there was no God because if there was, there wouldn’t be so much poverty, hatred and inequality in the world.  He then decided he would no longer be preaching of God and religion, but rather shifting his focus to what he was passionate about: poverty and people of all colors being treated fairly and equal. In 1956, Jones created the People’s Temple.

From the beginning, the People’s Temple was prominent in the civil rights movement. Jones was responsible for desegregating the police department, movie theaters, restaurants, hospitals and other businesses in Indianapolis. Additionally, the Temple opened up a soup kitchen for the homeless and poor, had free housing available for senior citizens and the mentally ill and Jim and Marceline even opened up their own home for homeless and unwed mothers. It was the first time in history that people were publicly offering assistance to people regardless of their race.  It was also at this time that Jim and Marceline adopted a Native American child, three Korean children and became the first white family in Indiana to adopt a black child. This adoption took place in 1961, the same year the freedom fighters tried to desegregate buses in Alabama and were brutally attacked. Because of the integration and desegregation Jim Jones was responsible for, the residents of the city felt threatened and would send the family death threats and spit on them in public.  Many of the people in Indianapolis of all races saw what Jones was trying to accomplish and they wanted to be a part of it. They saw that he was really for the people and trying to make a good, positive change in the world.  Needless to say for all the good they were trying to do, they were met with hatred, threats of violence and even assaults.  Jones decided that it was no longer safe for his family in Indianapolis and they moved to Brazil. They were only there for a short time before returning to the United States, but this time making California their home. Many of the original Temple members, around 150 from Indiana, made the move to California with the Jones family.

Not everything was love and peace in the family. Jim’s wife Marceline was very unhappy about Jim renouncing his faith in God. Marceline still considered herself a Christian and would still pray to the Lord, which angered Jim greatly. At times, he would threaten Marceline that he’d commit suicide if she continued praying to God. He was also extremely jealous and did not want anyone giving his wife any kind of attention, even though he was known to carry on affairs quite often. Jim also developed a drug addiction to prescription pills that would cause erratic mood swings and bouts of paranoia.  In fact, the move to California was due to Jim’s paranoia and a vision he had of nuclear holocaust. He felt they would be safe from the disaster in California. 

By the early 70’s in California, Temple membership had grown considerably. Word had spread all over the country about Jones and his refreshing approach to race relations. During this time, People’s Temple had approximately 2,500 members. Jones began preaching to his people quotes from the Bible, even though he denounced his faith. He would find things that were fitting for him to go with his own selfish desires and wants and use the Bible as a backup source. An example of this would be Jones quoting Matthew 19:21, which reads, “Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

Temple members wound up doing just that. They sold their homes and cars and gave all of the money to the Temple. The ones who had jobs and continued to work would turn over their entire paycheck to the Temple. The elderly who drew retirement and social security would turn over their entire checks to the Temple. In their minds, they were contributing to the “Good Cause”.  He made his members feel loved, safe and hopeful. While he was kind to everyone, he was especially compassionate to the poor and the uneducated. The majority of his followers were classified as such and to them, he was a savior. They wanted somewhere to belong and fit in and something to be proud of. He gave them all of that and more. All of them referred to him as “father” and had nothing but respect for him. His speeches were so uplifting to his members, even when he said ridiculous things such as he was the reincarnation of Jesus or Buddha, they just went with it. As new people would come to check out the organization and their charismatic leader, Jim’s ego demanded more and more followers and praise. Additionally, he was always looking to make more money.  He again began his practices of faking miracles and healings, something that garnered a little bit of attention in his earlier years, but this was on a much bigger level.  He would use his members to pretend to cure cancer and other ailments, making blind people see again, making people in wheelchairs walk again. These events were well-planned and thought out and with his large organization acting like they had witnessed an actual miracle (most were not privy to the behind the scenes operation and planning and truly believed that he was legitimately Jesus incarnate and performing miracles) many visitors would believe too.  Even though Jones would lie and manipulate, during his speeches he would come across as honest, vibrant, caring and positive. He was liked and well respected by not only the Temple, but the entire community. 

As Jim Jones became more dependent on drugs and his paranoia grew, he began using scare tactics on his followers. He would tell them that people were plotting against them, including the CIA. To his followers, this was terrifying. They felt all they had was each other and their “father”. He also made sure to increase the dedication people had for him as well as making them more disciplined followers. He began making ridiculous claims to his members, informing all the males in his organization that they were all homosexual, all of them but him.  He would have sex with the male members to prove to them that they liked it. Additionally, he would have sex with the women members and then during their daily meetings, they were expected to speak on what horrible lovers their husbands were and what a great lover Jones was. He eventually informed his members that they were not allowed to have sex, not even the married couples. Essentially, the only time anyone was “allowed” to have sex was when it was with Jim Jones.

In the early 70’s Jones and his “church” was accused by the media of financial fraud, physical abuse of its members and mistreatment of children. It was while this was going on that Jones purchased some land in Guyana in an effort to move himself and the entire People’s Temple so as to avoid the people who were supposedly plotting against him and trying to ruin him.  It was his goal to create a utopian society here, free of racism and worry, but also to seemingly gain much more control over his followers. Initially there was a small group of members sent to Guyana to begin building houses, plant crops and prepare the area for all the members.    In the mean time, Jim Jones got to work holding meetings, letting all the members know what was to be expected of their move and the tropical paradise that awaited them, getting passports made of all of his members and continuing to try to make as much money as possible.  Eventually Jim Jones and 1,000 of his members all made the move to Guyana and arrived at the compound known as Jonestown.  What they arrived to was anything but the heaven they were told it would be. The houses were not yet completed, nor was anything else complete because Jones did not want to spend a lot of money on the project.  It was less like paradise and more like a concentration camp. Jones informed the members that no one was allowed to leave and to reinforce that, he stationed armed guards around the property. Additionally, he confiscated their passports so they could not leave. He also confiscated outgoing mail so members could not get a hold of any family or friends outside of Jonestown. Some worried family members made phone calls to Jonestown and Jim and his closest members would listen in on the calls to make sure no one was out of line.  Members were expected to work on the land day and night, with minimal breaks and very little food.  With Jones treating his members horribly, it’s no surprise that he was always on edge, wondering if they were plotting against him. He installed an intercom system in Jonestown with a loud speaker and would get on the speaker at all hours, day and night, drunkenly preaching to his members, many times speaking of upcoming doom and an apocalypse. He began holding mock suicide drills in the middle of the night due to his thoughts of the US government being out to destroy him. Members were publicly beaten for disobeying as well as threatened with death. Coupling the new environment making members extremely vulnerable with the physical and psychological abuse and brainwash, there wasn’t much members could do at this point in time other than being obedient and subservient to Jones.

There were a few people who did successfully leave the People’s Temple, most notably Bob Houston.  Houston’s mutilated body was found near some train tracks after leaving the Temple.  US representative Leo Ryan was good friends with Bob Houston’s father and coupled with the abuse allegations he had heard were happening at Jonestown and the mysterious death of his friend’s son that had recently defected, Ryan decided he would fly to Guyana to investigate the supposed utopian society and see if members were truly happy there or if they were being held there against their will, as it had been told to him.  Ryan brought with him some concerned family members, people working for the media and photographers.  Jones got word of the visit and made sure to explain to his members how they would behave and how they would represent Jonestown.  They were told to prepare the best food (including a lot of meat, which Temple members were not allowed to eat otherwise due to its high cost) and to be thankful for Jones at all times.  On November 17, 1978, Ryan and his crew (who had been in Guyana for three days and were being refused to be let into Jonestown) were finally allowed to enter the compound.  For the most part, the People’s Temple put on a very convincing show for Ryan, praising Jones for all of his hard work and dedication. They expressed how happy they were in Jonestown and stayed on their best behavior for fear of what would be done to them if they didn’t.  However, one rather brave Temple member, (and a wonderful personal friend of mine) Vernon Gosney, slipped a note to one of the reporters that arrived with Ryan. In the note, Gosney pleaded for help getting out of Jonestown. The letter was signed by both him and another Temple member, Monica Bagby. Jones asked Ryan and his group to leave for the night and the next day, they arrived to interview more members. During the interview, another woman came forward stating that she wished to leave Jonestown with her family, as well as another family. It was made known to Jones that some people wanted to leave and he pretended he was okay with that, that they were free to go at any time. After interviews concluded on November 18, 15 people in total were to leave Jonestown with representative Ryan. Hidden amongst the 15 was one man, Larry Layton, who was only posing as a Temple defector and had no intention on leaving.  Once they arrived at the airstrip, 2 planes were available to the group. Larry Layton boarded the small, six passenger plane. Once on the airstrip, he began shooting Temple members who were on the plane, wounding several. Temple members who escorted the people to the planes began shooting at the other plane, killing Leo Ryan, 1 Temple member and and 3 journalists. 9 others were wounded. All of the survivors ran and hid into the nearby fields.

As the shootings were happening at the airstrip, Temple associates were given orders by Jones to prepare a drink, enough for all of Jonestown, consisting of grape Flavor-Aid, cyanide, Valium, chloral hydrate and Phenergan. Jones called all of his members to the pavilion for a meeting.  44 minutes of said meeting was recorded and is known as “The Death Tape”.  Jones informed his followers that he knows someone who boarded those planes were going to shoot the pilot, which would cause the death of all of the people on the planes and hinting that this would lead to the government coming to Jonestown and taking everyone’s children away. He then encouraged his members to drink the Flavor-Aid concoction and commit revolutionary suicide. That they would be heroes and forever remembered as revolutionaries. Many of the first to take the poison were parents who used syringes to squirt into the children’s mouths, then doing the same to themselves. Others simply drank it.    Some members thought this was another fake suicide drill until they witnessed people dying and then fear and panic set in.  Jones can be heard on the Death Tape telling members to die with dignity, and that death is preferable to life at that point. It has been said that many were forced to take the drink at gun point. A few members managed to hide under beds and avoided death. A couple others managed an escape and ran through the fields. Jim Jones did not drink the poison, instead, his death was caused by a single gunshot wound to the head. No one knows whether it was self-inflicted or if another member did it. One other woman was found dead with a gunshot wound. Additionally, a woman named Sharon Amos was working at the Jonestown headquarters in Georgetown. She received a radio communication from Jonestown informing her to commit revolutionary suicide. She took her three children into the bathroom and stabbed two of them to death, then had one assist her in stabbing herself to death, followed by the last of her children killing herself.

Many of the Temple members who fled into the jungle were lost for days and nearly died, but a Guyanese government plane flew in and located them. Others made their way to Georgetown, staying at cafes, and some staying with local residents.

Larry Layton was found guilty of conspiracy and of aiding and abetting the murder of Congressman Leo Ryan and of the attempted murder of Richard Dwyer. While the only person ever found guilty of any happenings at Jonestown, he was paroled in 2002.

In total, 918 individuals lost their lives at Jonestown. It was the largest death toll of civilians by human acts up until the 9/11 tragedy. Jim Jones was cremated and his ashes scattered at sea. His wife and three of their children who died at Jonestown are buried in Richmond, Indiana (The oldest daughter left the People’s Temple before the move to Guyana and two of their sons survived Jonestown by being out of the area for a basketball game).  The bodies of over 400 of those who died in Guyana are buried in a mass-grave at Evergreen Cemetery in Oakland, California.  A memorial listing all 900+ casualties, including Jim Jones, was completed at the grave site in 2011.


Request: something based of off drive by halsey
Summary: you love him, and you drive

The landscape flashes by as you speed down the highway, hand wrapped around a stick shift. A glance to your right tells you that yes, Calum is still asleep. His head is leaned against the window, accentuating the sharp angle of his jaw. His dark hair falls in waves down his temples, setting off his caramel toned skin.

You turn your full attention back to the road ahead, hands tightening on the wheel. Your neck burns where just this morning, he was kissing your pulse point, his soft lips making you dizzy. Muffled words against your throat, your hand reaching out for his shoulder to hold to something solid as fuzzy dreams and reality become one.

Calum makes a small sound in his sleep, and your jaw clenches. But you can’t resist the temptation to steal another look at him.

The light from the lampposts on the side of the road illuminates his face just so. He looks soft like this, his long legs curled towards his chest. His head has moved to rest on his knees but there’s still the imprint of the window in red on his cheek, and your heart squeezes.

This would be the moment you would link your fingers between his. The moment you would brush his hair away from his forehead and press a kiss to the warm skin there. If only you could. If only you could, this would be the moment you would just take his hand and give him your heart in return.

Instead you swallow hard and drive, only to realize that you missed the exit sign, too caught up in your feelings for a boy who would never return them.

And yet, when you think back to his laughter echoing down the hallway of shitty motels, running after you as you play a childish game of tag-you’re-it because, as he said, why not? Then you have doubts, about whether he really means it when his lips avoid yours, because they trace such beautiful, soft patterns down your body. And when he looks at you with a smile like you’ve given him the world, it’s hard to remember that you don’t have him.

His touch makes you feel alive, and his whispered words are bliss, carving away at the emptiness in your chest. He’s made California feel like home.

So maybe it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t love you. Maybe it doesn’t have to matter, because he has you and you have a little of him, and maybe that could be enough.

You stare ahead and drive.

HBO War Road Trip Au day 1

Starting point: Georgia

Destination: California

The lovely mood board made by @gondorgirl01

  • Luz has everyone meet him at his apartment on the morning of the road trip
  • Everyone is standing by their respective cars, listening to Luz ramble on about the trip
  • And of course they love luz, but they want to get going
  • Luz decides to do roll call, naming everyone’s group in the process
  • “Dad mobile is here, check!” he refers to Dick’s group
  • Nix chuckles at the name, nudging Dick’s shoulder
  • Ray jumps in and names his own group “The S.S. RayRay”
  • Lieb’s group gets named “ The Salt Crew” earning protests from Lieb and Web
  • Luz names his group “Hot Wheels”
  • “George, we’re driving a mini van” -Toye
  • Ron’s group gets called “Sass Car” because, according to Luz “ That car is full of sass”
  • After all that, Ray hands out some walkie talkies to each group so that they could communicate with each other easily
  • Ray is all about “no texting and driving”
Feel free to add onto it!
Boardwalks and Boyfriends

Group/Member: Seventeen/Joshua

Genre: fluff 

Word Count: 641

Summary: A first date with Joshua Hong.

Requested: no

Author’s Note: Aw I’ve always wanted to do this ever since I heard Joshua say he would want a first date on a boardwalk ;; oh and no I’m not from California as a local could clearly tell ;-; sorry! idk what a Cali boardwalk is like so I based it off a music video I saw, what my friend told me once + the boardwalks we have in Hawaii. Really really sorry if it’s nothing like what I described! bUT I hope everyone likes it!

- Admin Mochi xo

Originally posted by pledisseventeen

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HBO War Road Trip Au Day 2

Location: Arkansas

Destination: California

The mood board was made by the lovely @gondorgirl01

• Luz gets on the walkie talkie “Bull!! We’re in your home state!!”
• “Wow, I didn’t notice” Bull responds sarcastically
• They all decide to stop at a rest stop
• Because there’s so many of them, they spend a while there
• “Hey Brad! There’s condoms in this machine” Ray laughs
• Brad rolls his eyes and walks away
• He walks over to Nix “Switch cars with me”
• Nix laughs “Aww are the children to much for you?”
• After about 20 minutes at the rest stop, they all depart
• 10 minutes after they left, Luz notices something “It’s kinda quiet in here, I mean more quiet that usual”
• “Crap we left Perco!” Lip yells out
• Toye gets on the walkie talkie “just letting you know, Hot Wheels is heading back to the rest stop…..We left Perco”
• Toye can’t believe that he actually just called themselves “Hot Wheels”
• Laughs ring out over the walkie “You guys left Perco?”
• Everyone in the car can’t help but laugh
• When they finally pick him up, he’s an angry little bean
• “You guys are the worst!”
• They all apologize, but he’s still mad
• The only person he can’t stay mad at is Rudy
• He can’t help how comforting he is
• “That’s not fair! We all left you!” Tab pouts
• “Yes, but look at Rudy! He’s too handsome to stay mad at”
•"Oh stop!“
• They continue driving through Arkansas
• Seeing the beautiful and endless fields

Feel free to add more and tag me with any contributions!!

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All Eyez On Me | Movie Review

“Even if your not a Tupac fan - BLASPHEMY!…it gives a great insight into the controversy of creating real Hip Hop for the mass commercial market..I would also encourage 15-18 year olds to watch it, as a part of their history. Hopefully it will aid them in staying woke!”

Whether your from London or Lithuania, I guarantee you’ve jammed to a Tupac tune. So when I was called to attend a screening of All Eyez On Me the story of the legendary Tupac Amaru Shakur, of course I had to be there.

All Eyez On Me is out in the UK on Friday 30th of June 2017

Now I already know most of Tupac’s story, but the facts have always been a little jumbled up. My earliest memories are of my older brother playing - Brenda’s Got A Baby on his C.D player. After releasing that single he deffo made some banger but I only fully reconnected when he dropped California Love.


The movie begins with Tupac in jail, sharing his story by being interviewed, but throughout the movie as the story unravells there are numerous flashbacks, highlighting key back story information from the Rap legend. Including the story of his mother Afeni Shakur and step father Mutulu Shakur. 

The lead actor Demetrius Shipp Jr. playing Tupac Shakur really managed to add layers of depth and meaning to the movie. I assume he would have studied Tupac for a long time, because taking on such an epic and well respected man adds pressure to any confident actor. From his delivery and gestures to how he would own the scene of every moment, he embodied why Tupac was such a leader in Hip Hop and black culture. 

I’ve also got to shout out Danai Gurira who played Afeni Shakur, Typac’s mother. There were some very difficult moments which allowed her to show a lot of raw emotion and really represent the woman that is Afeni Shakur. Gurira uses her character to give a deeper insight into Tupacs upbringing and the character building childhood he endured. In fact - thinking about All Eyez On Me, you could have a two hour dialogue between Danai Gurira and Demetrius Shipp Jr. playing Afeni and Tupac Shakur and that would be just as interesting as the entire movie. They’re relationship and struggles are intense and for me they we’re the two stand out actors who gave a excellent portrayal. 

All Eyez On Me uses the first half of the movie to pin point Tupac’s milestone moments, but his first steps into - “life in the music industry” were skimmed over and the movie suggests Tupac gained his first break with Digital Underground without much effort. It ignores how long the process is from when an artist first puts pen to paper, up until that “life changing” moment of getting signed.  Tupac first recorded music in 1987, which was 3 years before his debut with Digital Underground. 

All Eyez On Me also shows Tupac’s battle when he the moved to Interscope Records and how he had to prove why his music should stay raw and authentic. 

The movie also touches on the rap beef of East and West coast, between Notorious BIG and Tupac. However, I feel as the beef was the biggest factor that impacted Tupac’s life span, there could have been more detail on those specific scenes.

To summarise, I would say All Eyez On Me is a must watch. Even if your not a Tupac fan - BLASPHEMY! - But even if your not, it gives a great insight into the controversy of creating real Hip Hop for the mass commercial market.

There are some gripping moments that are great on the big screen. So grab your homies, family or colleagues and go and witness the story of a legend. I would also encourage 15-18 year olds to watch it, as a part of their history. Hopefully it will aid them in staying woke!

I give All Eyez On Me 4/5 Shahlaa Stars and it is out in the UK on Friday 30th of June 2017.



Betty smiled as she held her belly, she was about three months along with their third and she was so excited.. Her children were so perfect.. She hugged Bruce tightly as he came home from making deals in California. She loved him, but sometimes his job made him go away for too long.. She had written him when she found out she was expecting but she didn’t know if it had made it to his attention.
“Did you make your boss happy?” She murmured
“Are you staying a while? Henry and Sophie have been drawing you pictures.. I have lots of stories for you.” She held the demon close, kissing his cheek and cuddling into his chest happily. She kissed him and sighed softly.
“I missed you so much.. Our little ones finally started speaking and they’re even more snuggly now.. I’m so proud of them..”


No.54 :: for Matt

-36" Old School Cruiser.

-“Wave” art style, dark green color.

Another great idea from one of my riders…Custom finger-holes for carrying your longboard!  Brilliant!

anonymous asked:

KL lives in OK and is Blake's personal assistant. She started working for B and and also ML sometimes until they a falling out. "Some say quit, some say fired" and then she worked only for Blake again. She chose sides early on and is fiercely loyal to Blake. She handles his travel, the ranch stuff, the B&B, all his OK biz and is now covering Ole' Red in Tish. . She is big friends with Gwen and Jen. She made the New Years rock heart with Jen that said "California and Oklahoma'

I loved that she and Jen did that! Jen and Todd really seem to love KL too!


Lost in translation

Requested by a sweet anon ♥ 

Ways you said “i love you” → 15- Loud, so everyone can hear

Modern Police Partners AU ~1100 words (aka yes i did the airport trope and i’m not sorry) 

If there’s one thing on earth that Killian Jones hates, it must be crowds.

Therefore, when he sets one foot into JFK international airport, let’s say that he has had better days.

Pearls of sweat birthing on his forehead, he eyes his clock, jaw clenched.

He has exactly ten minutes to find her and to convince her to stay.

Perhaps you could have admitted your feelings when you guys still had bloody time instead of running in this bloody hell of an airport.

Perhaps, but having her for co worker for three years made one forget that one should never take anything for granted.

So many bloody missed chances, so many late nights at the police station where he could have done anything, where she was looking at him through her thick eyelashes and he could have just took one step towards her, towards them.

But he had been scared. Terrified to love again after Milah.

“A bus, that’s all it took Swan. A bloody drunk bus driver and my love was gone.”

She had been patient god, she had waited for him, had tell him that whenever he’ll be ready she’ll be too.

Everyone has their limits. And three years made your hands crampy from holding on.

A promotion in California. She had always loved the idea of this state, so of bloody course, she had accepted.

And he had seen his whole world crumble in an instant, mortified, absolutely useless, his heart sinking.

She had announced her departure at their bar, the whole team present.  

A snow-capped Christmas, a year as her partner.

The clock striking midnight.

“Merry Christmas Killian.” her voice a soft murmur in all the euphoria, a smile which could heal any disease in this whole bloody world.

This feeling in his chest, this delirious heat, his whole body tickling.

And then his hands gripping her face, and the kiss tasting like champagne and possibilities.

Her little laughter after it, red nose, something so pure radiating from her.

Him smiling too.

Him shattering all of her hopes.

“This was a one time thing.”

“Sir, you’re bothering everyone where you’re standing.” informs him a middle age man in a suit as he passes him by.

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anonymous asked:

kate. ellery. motorcycle :)

Three Words Prompt #26


Ellery is moving boxes out of her way, sliding them across the concrete floor of the storage space in her parents’ building, sitting down to use her feet and legs to push, when she unearths an old treasure.

Her mother’s Harley softail, the chrome peeking out from under the drop cloth, as alluring and appealing as ever, even if covered in dust.

She stands slowly, wiping her hands off on her jeans, some reverence falling over her again just as it did when she was fifteen and found it the first time.
She touches the covering, slowly rucking it up with her fingers until the back wheel is revealed, the seat, the main body.

“Oh, your bike,” her mother laughs, coming through the caged door of the storage unit. “I forgot about that being down here.”

“My bike?” she squeaks, glancing over her shoulder as she thinks for a moment that her mother is talking about her two wheeler that she was rode back in grade school. So prideful of learning to ride when Dash never could manage it.

And then it hits her that her mom is talking about the motorcycle.

“Mom,” she laughs, a little caught by surprise. “It’s your bike.”

“Oh, well,” she says, waving a hand as sets a stack of boxes on top of an old desk. “Not really, huh? You appropriated it, as you were wont to do.”

Her face flushes but Ellery rolls her eyes. “I didn’t steal it. I just… messed around with it. And how did you know that anyway? I was - sneaking down here while you were at work.”

“Oh, cricket, aren’t you cute. Of course I knew. You were sneaking spare parts down to the storage unit, baby.”

She huffs at her mother, but she slides her fingers along the leather seat. “I guess I did appropriate it.”

“You want it now?”

“It’s your - your bike. Dad tells all these great stories about you and leather and-”

“Oh, gosh, stop right now.” Her mother shakes her head, laughing a little. “Anyway, I stopped riding when I got pregnant with you. Never went back.” Her mom reaches out as if she’s going to touch, but her hand stops just short. 

“Why’d you stop riding it?” Ella can’t help asking. The motorcycle is beautiful. And her dad obviously loved that his wife rode it. The leather. Ew.

“Too much risk. I didn’t want to leave you motherless.” She gives a little laugh and extends her hand the rest of the way, combs the hair in Ella’s pony tail. “For some reason, I thought you might need me.”

“I do need you,” she gets out, closing her eyes a moment to keep the dust from making them water. “You’re my mom.”

“Yeah.” A slow smile. A brighter one as she grips Ellery’s pony tail and steps in for a hug. “I’m your mom, kiddo. And I figured my job was risky enough. Also, and this might be too much, when you were about six months old, I was thinking really seriously about getting it back out again. As - as an escape route. I did that with Dash all the time, when he was a little baby. Just threw up my hands and left your dad to it. But you were an easy baby and I never needed it, and then just when I thought, maybe I should see if the bike still runs, one of my officers was shot right in front of me.”

“Oh my God,” Ellery gasps, jerking away from her mother to see her face. “In front of you.”

Her mom gives a shaky laugh. “Yeah. Not a good - not a good day. Dad came up to the station with you and it just all - hit me. There was no way I was riding a motorcycle in this city when you were this sweet little thing that needed me. And Dash, oh Dashiell. He was…”

“Dash,” Ella says simply. Because it explains everything without need to explain.

Her mom cocks her head. “Yes, Dash. So no more bike for me. Your dad wouldn’t let me give it to you before, but I’m sure now - stunt woman extraordinaire - he wouldn’t mind.”

“Give it to me before?” she croaks, still rather stunned by the stories her mother seems willing to share now. “What do you mean. You were going to give me the bike?”

“Of course. You spent all that time working on it. It’s yours by right.”

“No, but wait. Wait. When were you going to give it to me? And why did Dad say no?” she wails.

Kate laughs. “Oh, honey, you were going to leave us, and I wanted you to have it, but Daddy said no, you would ride it cross country and kill yourself. He couldn’t stand to think of you going two thousand or more miles on that thing. And I didn’t want him to have a heart attack, so-”

Ella stands there, shocked beyond all rational thought. “If you have given me that bike.” Oh, God, if her mother had. “I would never have left.”

Kate’s jaw drops.

Ellery closes her eyes, opens them again. “Sorry. I - no. That’s probably not entirely true. I mean, I - needed to get away from here. But if - that kind of - your motorcycle, Mom, would have been…”

“What you needed,” her mother says, though her voice sounds thick. Her head shakes, hair falling forward, and Ellery realizes she’s hurt her.

She’s hurt her mother, and she has been, did, she did hurt her, leaving for California and Meredith. Meredith who was always just Aunt Mere, never really real as a person, as her father’s ex-wife, not even real as Allie’s own mother, and no wonder Ellery hurt her mother.

“I’m sorry,” Ella blurts out. “Oh, God, Mom, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean - didn’t mean that at all.”

Her mom’s head jerks up, chin lifting, her eyes intent and fierce and that blazing look that always cowed Dashiell but made Ellery feel mean. Indignant. I didn’t do anything wrong, she always wanted to say.

But she did.

“Ellery,” her mother snaps. “Don’t be sorry. Do not ever regret the choices you’ve made. Look at you. Sweetheart, look at you.” Softer now and her mom gathers her up into a hug that is at once both gentle and fierce. “What a beautiful woman you are, your heart, your strength, your character. California is part of what made you, and I love you.”

“I know,” she chokes out, strangled by her mother’s hug. She laughs as she realizes it, wonders if maybe this has always been the problem. Strangled by her mother’s love. She never felt it in the right ways, the ways Dashiell just beamed under, so proud and filled up with it. Ella never felt that.

But she wraps her arms around her mother in return, wanting her mom to feel it now too. “I love you too, Mama. I do. Volim te. I’m so grateful to you for - everything.”

Her mom strokes through her hair, a nudging kiss against her cheek that puts her away again.

It’s easier now, it feels better.

“So. I’m serious about the Harley. It’s all yours if you want it.”

“Oh, I want it. I really do. I cannot wait to ride it in this city. Scare the shit out of Dad.”

And her mom laughs, really hard, actually, so that she has to sink to the desktop and put her hands on her knees.

And that makes Ella feel really good too. Now that she’s moved here, now that she and Nick are trapped in New York, she’s found she’s not dreading it at all. She’s actually looking forward to this, more of this, having her mom as - as a friend.

She never thought she would be here.

2014 Field Recordings “Fiction” Pinot Gris

Only 900 cases made of this lovely, whimsical white from California. White and yellow peaches, mango, taffy, honeydew melon, camphor, and wax on the nose. Less complex on the palate with lemon, browning pears, lime, and waxy notes.

3/5 bones


Pinot Gris (some Chenin Blanc, Sauvignon Blanc, Malvasia Bianca)

12.1% abv

Central Coast, California, USA

Photo by Cassie Rogala