In the pursuit of perfection, never forget who helped you. There will be times of real struggles, and I mean heart breaking, on the floor crying, no idea when it will get better struggles. That is when people will pick you up and make you push on. Don’t forget where you came from and who made you the person you are today.
Maggie and Lucy knew it was an act, right from the start, the bravado. No matter how many comments Alex threw out about how ‘this isn’t necessary’ and 'I don’t even know why you’re bringing me here’.
An act they would see through even if they didn’t know that Alex took sponge baths, and couldn’t be in the bathroom alone when she took them. Even if they didn’t know how Alex froze if the sound of running water caught her by surprise. Even if they didn’t know about the nightmares.
An act they saw through because her voice was just too high, because her grip on their hands was turning her knuckles white. Because she had asked them to do this with her, for her, and seemed to be fighting every step.
At home, they sat in the bathroom whenever she asked, they warned her before turning on a faucet, they cuddled her between them, doing their best to wipe the tears away as soon as they formed.
Walking from the parking lot to the beach, they squeezed her hands as hard as she was theirs, they kept the conversation going, urging her forward, but making sure she knew she didn’t have to.
Making sure she knew that this was entirely her choice.
The sound of the ocean grew louder. Alex’s steps grew slower.
“This is stupid,” she mumbled, coming to a full stop, pulling her hands free and wrapping her arms around herself.
“No,” Lucy quickly said, stepping in front of Alex. "No. Nothing about this is stupid.“
"I’m a grown woman afraid of water.”
“And for a good reason,” Maggie said. "We can go, if you want.“
Alex looked to where the ocean was, still hidden behind a row of resorts and a raised board walk. She shook her head, then looked to the ground.
"I grew up on the ocean, I know it’s different than…”
Than tubs and showers and tanks designed to drown her.
She took a deep breath, then grabbed their hands again and started to walk. Her knuckles still turned white, but her steps were more sure than before.
They turned around one of the hotels, and the ocean spread out before them.
Alex stopped. Her muscles tense. She closed her eyes for a moment, the nodded.
Her steps were slow as they walked towards the sand, then stopped completely once they stepped into it.
“How do you feel?” Maggie softly asked.
Alex nodded, then shrugged.
“Do you want to go to the water?” Lucy asked.
Alex shook her head. "No. Can we just sit on the sand for a while?“
I really don't think it comes down to the fandom, though. Harry put in massive US promo with SNL and Rolling Stone, and his song still fell to number 22. The thing about SOTT is that outside of the fandom, it's not the type of song you're going to put on repeat and stream constantly. It's long, it's kind of sad. It's spring break and people want bops, you know? The fandom division exacerbates things no doubt, but I think there's miscalculation happening beyond us. Hopefully the music video helps
i think this is exactly where fandom comes in though! that’s the intersection if you will. we are supposed to make people excited for this. we sure as hell made people excited for an EDM song on christmas, you know what i mean? i’m gonna repeat what i privately said in a message just now: we were moaning that there wasn’t enough “professional” promo for louis and now we’re moaning that there isn’t enough fandom engagement for harry. which are both very justified in my opinion. but as far as these things go - and because we’re obviously on one certain end of the spectrum - it definitely feels stranger not to get that fandom appreciation/engagement.
i think a certain balance between promo and fandom hype could do wonders. and so far we’ve only seen both ends and no middle ground.
I just read your raven/beast boy "underneath" fic and its the greatest fic I've ever read. I can't believe it only has 60 notes??
THANKS ANON. :D I’m glad you enjoyed it!! I worked really hard on that one-shot. It took me like, two weeks to write it all and edit the crap out of it.
I like to think it’s all the gratuitous smut that might put some folk off, lol. I have a pretty distinctive way of writing it that either has people loving it or makes them extremely uncomfortable/shy. I’m not a fan of erotica that pussy foots around the ‘adult words’, as I like to say. More often than not, it makes it sound weird and throws off the whole mood, so I don’t shy away from those more, er, aggressive descriptors, if you will. Not to say it’s all porn, no plot (I try making it more than just about the smut scene), but once we get into the gritty, I’m not going to soften it up. :P
I also wrote Underneath when I had a tiny following, and I’m not even sure it showed up in the BB/Rae tag at all since it’s got so many words tumbles doesn’t like. :P
Either way, I’m really proud of that fic!! I wanted to show off my skills with it, as GB is basically going to become a smut fest in the nearby future. So, it was my way of giving readers a taste of what’s to come. ;)