“he was too quiet, or he was too loud. he took things too seriously, or not seriously at all. he was too sensitive, or too cold-hearted. he hated with every fiber of his being, or loved with every piece of his heart. there was no in-between for him. it was either all or nothing. he wanted everything but settled for nothing” (inspired by)
It is in the
rare quiet nights like these, on days where time stretches endlessly into a
nothingness where Jungkook finally drops the tough Busan guy act, drops
everything that holds him to the shores of reality, if only in front of Park Jimin.
down his book, stares down at Jungkook who has placed his head in Jimin’s lap
an hour ago with eyes that reflect his immediate concern. It is not a
particularly harsh gaze, just a curious one that Jungkook feels sure is meant
to be unobtrusive.
doesn’t have to say it; his question lies in the forever Jimin had promised the
two of them last week in the quiet of a night just like this one, but Jungkook
is young, unsure. Scared to lose Jimin.
okay. Jungkook knows Jimin understands.
think,” Jimin says after a long moment, so long that Jungkook thinks the
elder might not answer him after all.
forever comes in a lot of different forms. There’s the good kind of forever
that completes you, and a depressing kind that drags on in a maddening way.
There is forever in moments that take your breath away and the forever that falls
in an empty void.”
heart clenches, flutters under the fabric of his shirt and he closes his eyes
to the lull of Jimin’s voice. He doesn’t want to think, just listen. Just for
better or for worse, forever doesn’t really end. That’s the whole point of it. I
think the best thing about forever is that unlike a lot of other things, we
don’t have to cling to it. It kind of just washes over everyone, at least once
in their lifetime. Even if it is the depressing kind.”
fingers find Jungkook’s hair and Jungkook feels him softly run his fingers
through it. Jungkook knows Jimin is probably not here now, probably looking at
an unmarked point on the wall ahead, probably bobbing in the middle of a sea of
thoughts Jungkook will never place.
Jimin says, and Jungkook hears the sudden smile in Jimin’s voice and his eyes
fly open to catch a glimpse of the boy he has fallen in love with.
the only forever is change, you know? And until we’re all reduced to dust and
buried and gone, we all get to live our tiny fraction of forever.”
and you?” Jungkook asks quietly, and Jimin laughs a soft laugh, the kind
that has Jungkook’s heart beating at thrice its normal rate.
Jimin says. “Like me and you, Kookie.”
awful at expressing how he feels, awful at telling Jimin that without him, he’d
be lost. It is a curse Jungkook finds difficult to live with so many times
because Jimin is the very opposite of him that way. So instead he catches
Jimin’s fingers between his own and squeezes them once gratefully.
okay. Jungkook knows that Jimin understands.