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Don’t be square and miss out - get hep with SquarePants. 

anonymous asked:

Aaron and alex totally meet because alex is doing something weird and Aaron is like "what the hell". Like it's probably midnight and they're both in a grocery store (Aaron cause he was craving ice cream and Alexander because he promised Lafayette that he would buy butter and he forgot until now) so they're both checking out and only one line is open because it's midnight and all Aaron can think is how weird the person in front of him is because he's buying 10 packs of butter

This is great

Like imagine Laf having told Alex over and over again that they’re out of butter and Alex keeps promising he’ll get some, but he always forgets. So one day Laf just puts hundreds of sticky-notes around the apartment that just say “BUTTER” and Alex just gets so mad cause the sticky-notes are legit everywhere. Plus Laf probably pulls some asshole move where he drinks all the coffee, knowing it will piss Alex off enough to go buy the butter.

So, being the annoying little shit that he is, Alex goes to the grocery and buys like 20 things of butter to fill the refrigerator with. And the person at the register is giving him the weirdest looks and Alex is just like, whatever, but then he turns to see this guy clutching two things of ice cream to his chest, also giving him a weird look, and Alex asks what he’s staring at.

And Aaron, who really had just wanted to quickly buy some ice cream, is just thinking to himself, why did I have to get stuck behind this crazy butter man? He does his best to just casually say that he’s never seen someone buy so much butter, and the guy shrugs, saying that Aaron has no right to talk, since he’s the one buying two tubs of ice cream at midnight.

And of course Aaron gets offended by that, cause who is this guy? What does he know about Aaron’s life? It had been a long week, and Aaron just really wanted some ice cream, and fuck this guy for making him feel guilty. So Aaron argues that it’s normal for people to buy ice cream, and it’s much less normal for someone to buy twenty sticks of butter. 

Then, without either of them realizing it, they both start laughing, cause wow, it’s midnight in a practically empty grocery store and they are having what is probably the most ridiculous argument to ever occur in a grocery store.

They both finish checking out, and then Alex is telling the whole story about the sticky-notes and the coffee to Aaron, who laughs the whole time, and Alex can’t help but think that the guy has a nice laugh. Before he can stop himself, Alex is asking Aaron if they could do this again sometime.

And Aaron is really confused at first. Alex wants to meet at a grocery store and argue with each other? But then Alex is laughing, saying that he meant could they meet up and talk. He gives Aaron a smile and says that he’ll even take Aaron out for ice cream if he wants to. Aaron says yes, and they exchange numbers.

So Alex goes home, smiling to himself as he puts all 20 sticks of butter into the fridge. Half the reason he’s smiling is because he scored a date with a pretty great guy, but the other reason is knowing that it will be hilarious to wake up to the sound of Laf screaming in frustration when he opens the fridge in the morning.  

The Very Comprehensive Deadpool Masterpost

The aim of this post is to introduce new fans to Deadpool’s comics and help you identify which collections, trade paperbacks and omnibus books Deadpool’s individual stories, issues and runs can be found in as well as which order to read them. 

I will not be providing links to any pirated copies and would rather not recommend websites as prices will vary across the dozens of sites comics can be purchased from.

I have read every single issue on this list so if you have any questions or need any help please do feel free to ask me.

Created: 5th March 2017
Updated: 3rd June 2017

Main Deadpool Continuity & Reading Order

This is the bulk of the masterlist. Each of Deadpool’s main books and stories are listed below in the order which they should be read from the very beginning all the way up to, and including, his current shenanigans.
I have marked a few recommended starting points so if you do not wish to tackle the entire list there should be a starting point which suits you.

Deadpool: The Circle Chase (1993) #1 - #4
This is Deadpool’s first ever solo miniseries. It introduces Weasel, Vanessa and themes which crop up throughout the rest of Deadpool’s runs.
-Collected in; Deadpool Classic Vol. 1
or Deadpool: Beginnings Omnibus
or Deadpool The Adamantium Collection
or Deadpool & X-Force Omnibus

Deadpool: Sins of the Past (1994) #1 - #4
Deadpool’s second miniseries explores Deadpool’s relationship with his past and teases his origins.
-Collected in; Deadpool Classic Vol. 1
or Deadpool: Beginnings Omnibus
or Deadpool & X-Force Omnibus

Deadpool (1997) #-1 - #69 [A Recommended Starting Point]
This was Deadpool’s first ongoing and it ran from 1997 to 2002. Plot elements from his first and second miniseries are picked up and expanded upon here. Several writers contributed to this series, most notably Joe Kelly, Jimmy Palmiotti, and Gail Simone.
-Collected in; Deadpool Classic Vol. 1 - Vol. 9
or Deadpool by Joe Kelly Omnibus & Deadpool Classic Omnibus Vol. 1 

Agent X (2002) #1 - #15
After Deadpool (1997) ended his book was replaced by a new, similar character who shares Deadpool’s supporting cast from his last 5 issues. Deadpool returns in the final 3 issues of this series.
-Collected in; Deadpool Classic Vol. 9 & Vol. 10
or Deadpool Classic Omnibus Vol. 1

Cable & Deadpool (2004) #1 - #50 [A Recommended Starting Point]
Characters from Agent X (2002) make an appearance throughout this series which is written by Deadpool’s co-creator Fabian Nicieza. Deadpool’s relationship with Cable is one of the most loved in comics and Cable is scheduled to appear in Deadpool 2. This is a big, thematic book exploring heroism and the bigger picture.
-Collected in; Cable & Deadpool: If Looks Could Kill, The Burnt Offering, The Human Race, Bosom Buddies, Living Legends, Paved With Good Intentions, Separation Anxiety & Deadpool vs. The Marvel Universe 
or 3 Deadpool & Cable Ultimate Collection books 
or the Deadpool & Cable Omnibus

Deadpool Annual (2013) #1
Although this was released in 2013 the first half of the story explains the origin of the white caption box which makes its appearance throughout Deadpool (2008). The second half of the story leads into Deadpool (2012) so it may be worth revisiting this issue before you start that series.
-Collected in; Deadpool: The Wedding of Deadpool
or Deadpool: The Ones With Deadpool
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 18: Deadpool vs. Marvel

Deadpool (2008) #1 - #63
This is the book which was being published when Deadpool exploded into the phenomenon he is today. All 63 issues were written by Daniel Way and you can see the zany fingerprints he left on the character present in the fandom, the video game and all the ongoing books and miniseries from 2009 to 2012.
-Collected in; Deadpool: Secret Invasion, Dark Reign, X Marks The Spot, Monkey Business, What Happens In Vegas, I Rule You Suck, Space Oddity, Operation Annihilation, Institutionalized, Evil Deadpool & Dead 
or 4 Deadpool: The Complete Collection by Daniel Way books

Uncanny X-Force (2010) #1 - #35
Running alongside Daniel Way’s Deadpool from 2010 onwards, this book was written by Rick Remender and features a more grounded Deadpool working in a team setting.
-Collected in; Uncanny X-Force: The Apocalypse Solution, Deathlok Nation, The Dark Angel Saga Book 1, The Dark Angel Saga Book 2, Otherworld & Final Execution
or two Uncanny X-Force by Rick Remender: The Complete Collection books
or the Uncanny X-Force Omnibus by Rick Remender
also see: Uncanny X-Force: Fear Itself #1 - #3 collected in; Fear Itself: Uncanny X-Force / The Deep

Deadpool vs. Thanos (2015) #1 - #4
Although this was released in 2015 its events occur before Deadpool (2012). This is a cosmic roadtrip taken by two people who hate one another.
-Collected in; Deadpool vs Thanos
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 18: Deadpool vs. Marvel

Thunderbolts (2012) #1 - #32
Daniel Way initially writes this series before Charles Soule and then Ben Acker & Ben Blacker take over. It’s Deadpool in a team setting which is less bloody than Uncanny X-Force but not as clean cut as the Avengers.
-Collected in; Thunderbolts: No Quarter, Red ScareInfinity, No Mercy, Punisher vs. The Thunderbolts
notes: Can be read alongside Deadpool (2012) although there is very little crossover. The series ends before Deadpool (2012) Original Sin.
Hawkeye vs Deadpool (2014) should be read after this series as it references its cancellation.

Deadpool (2012) #1 - #45 & Deadpool: Dracula’s Gauntlet #1 - #13  [A Recommended Starting Point]
This is the beginning of the Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn era of Deadpool which is currently ongoing, the two comedians have left an impression on Deadpool and introduced a strong supporting cast which will be felt for years to come.
-Collected in; Deadpool: Dead Presidents, Soul Hunter, The Good, The Bad & The Ugly, Deadpool vs. S.H.I.E.L.D, Deadpool: Dracula’s Gauntlet, The Wedding of DeadpoolOriginal SinAxis & All Good Things 
or 4 Deadpool by Duggan & Posehn hardcovers
or the Deadpool by Duggan & Posehn Omnibus
notes: Deadpool: The Gauntlet was initially released digitally on ComiXology and was built for digital reading
Annuals & one-shots are collected in; Deadpool: The Ones With Deadpool
Flashback issues are collected in chronological order in; Deadpool: Flashbacks

Mrs Deadpool and the Howling Commandos (2015) #1 - #4
A book set during Marvel’s world-ending ’Secret Wars’ series where the Marvel multiverses smashed together and created a patchwork planet called ‘Battleworld’, this book follows our Deadpool on a journey through an altered reality which he can’t interact with.
-Collected in; Mrs Deadpool and the Howling Commandos

Deadpool & Cable: Split Second (2016) #1 - #6
Written by Cable & Deadpool writer and Deadpool co-creator Fabian Nicieza, this book lays the groundwork for some Deadpool (2015) and Uncanny Avengers (2015) stories while also standing perfectly on its own.
-Collected in; Deadpool & Cable: Split Second

Uncanny Avengers (2015) #1 - ongoing [A Recommended Starting Point]
Deadpool? In an Avengers book? That’s not a mistake. Gerry Duggan pens this series and again spotlights Deadpool in a blockbuster-level team setting.
-Currently collected in; Uncanny Avengers Unity: Vol. 1 Lost Future, Vol. 2 The Man Who Fell to Earth, Vol. 3 Civil War II
awaiting release: Uncanny Avengers Unity: Vol. 4 Red Skull
notes: Issues #7 & #8 crossover with All-New All-Different Avengers #7 & #8 and the full story is collected in Avengers: Standoff

Deadpool (2015) #1 - ongoing

The Merc With A Mouth is more popular than ever before and this series, written solo by Gerry Duggan, reflects the reality and forces the Marvel Universe to take notice. This is the main ongoing Deadpool book and it shows no signs of stopping.
-Currently collected in; Deadpool World’s Greatest: Vol. 1 Millionaire With A Mouth, Vol. 2 End of an Error, Vol 3. Deadpool vs. Sabretooth, Vol. 4 Temporary Insanitation, Vol. 5 Civil War II, Vol. 6 Patience: Zero, Vol. 7 Deadpool Does Shakespeare
awaiting release: Deadpool World’s Greatest: Vol. 8 ‘Til Death Do Us…, Deadpool 2099, Deadpool World’s Greatest: Vol 9 Deadpool in Space

Peripheral Deadpool Books

These books run alongside Deadpool (2015) loosely fitting into the continuity and are all ongoing unless specified.

Deadpool & the Mercs for Money (2016) #1 - #5 [Miniseries]
Written by Cullen Bunn, who penned almost every Deadpool miniseries from 2012, this is a short 'pilot series’ featuring Deadpool leading his own team. It goes as well as you’d expect.
-Collected in; Deadpool & The Mercs for Money: Vol. 0 Merc Madness
notes: Should be read before Deadpool (2015) World’s Greatest: Vol. 5 Civil War II

Spider-Man/Deadpool (2016) #1 - ongoing
The internet made this book happen, there is no denying that. The book features a lot of fanservice and some absolutely surreal storylines. Primarily written by Joe Kelly with other writers doing filler issues this is a series which threatens to unseat Cable and Deadpool as comics’ most adored pair.
-Currently collected in; Spider-Man/Deadpool: Vol. 1 Isn’t It Bromantic?
awaiting release: Spider-Man/Deadpool: Vol. 2 Side Pieces

Deadpool & The Mercs for Money (2016) #1 - ongoing
Cullen Bunn returns for Deadpool’s adventures with his team as things go south for our favourite merc real fast.
-Currently collected in; Deadpool & The Mercs for Money: Vol. 1 Mo’ Mercs, Mo’ Monkeys, Vol. 2 IvX
notes: Should be read after Deadpool (2015) World’s Greatest: Vol. 5 Civil War II

Modern Miniseries (2012 - present)

These books were released alongside the other Deadpool ongoings and are free from continuity, they can be picked up and read anytime and are listed in release order below.

Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe (2012) #1 - #4
Part one of the ’Deadpool Killogy’ by Cullen Bunn, this book does what it says on the cover.
-Collected in; Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe
or Deadpool Minibus
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 16: Killogy 

Deadpool Killustrated (2013) #1 - #4
Part two of the ’Deadpool Killogy’, Cullen Bunn dives deeper into the meta and it gets bloody.
-Collected in; Deadpool Killustrated
or Deadpool Minibus
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 16: Killogy

Deadpool Kills Deadpool (2013) #1 - #4
The conclusion of the ’Deadpool Killogy’ finds our main Deadpool fighting the protagonist of the previous two chapters.
-Collected in; Deadpool Kills Deadpool
or Deadpool Minibus
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 16: Killogy 

Deadpool vs. Carnage (2014) issues #1 - #4
Cullen Bunn pits merc against maniac in a bloody brawl.
-Collected in; Deadpool vs Carnage
or Deadpool Minibus
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 18: Deadpool vs. Marvel   

Deadpool vs. X-Force (2014) issues #1 - #4
Technically this retcons events so that this becomes Deadpool’s 'first’ appearance but reading it before anything else would be confusing. It’s a fun throwback to the 90s with lots of violence and Deadpool in an antagonistic role.
-Collected in; Deadpool vs. X-Force
or Deadpool Minibus 2
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 18: Deadpool vs. Marvel

Hawkeye vs Deadpool (2014) #0 - #5
Gerry Duggan provides equal amounts of love for both Hawkeye and Deadpool in this fun book which begins with a murder on Halloween.
-Collected in; Hawkeye vs Deadpool
or Deadpool Minibus 2
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 18: Deadpool vs. Marvel
notes: should be read after Deadpool (2012) Original Sin but before Deadpool (2012) Axis

Deadpool’s Art of War (2014) #1 - #4
Deadpool wants to write a bestseller and he’s willing to start a war to do it in this miniseries by Peter David.
-Collected in; Deadpool’s Art of War
or Deadpool Minibus 2

Deadpool’s Secret Secret Wars (2015) #1 - #4

Cullen Bunn pens a love letter to Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars and retcons our favourite merc into events.
-Collected in; Deadpool’s Secret Secret Wars
or Deadpool Minibus 2 

Deadpool v. Gambit (2016) #1 - #5
Deadpool and Gambit end up in deep trouble during a job that drops them in way over their heads.
-Collected in; Deadpool v. Gambit: The V is for 'Vs’

Deadpool: Back in Black (2016) #1 - #5
A sequel to Deadpool’s Secret Secret Wars, Cullen Bunn gives Deadpool the Venom symbiote for 5 issues.
-Collected in; Deadpool: Back in Black

Deadpool: Too Soon? (2016) #1 - #8
A murder mystery with Marvel’s self-proclaimed funniest characters, and the Punisher is there too.
-Currently uncollected
awaiting release: Deadpool: Too Soon?
notes: Deadpool: Too Soon? was initially released digitally on ComiXology and was built for digital reading 

Deadpool the Duck (2017) #1 - #5
Deadpool and Howard the Duck merge in a situation not unlike The Fly and have a zany adventure in the process of trying to get their own bodies back.
-Currently uncollected
awaiting release: Deadpool the Duck

Deadpool vs. The Punisher (2017) #1 - #5
Wade and Frank have crossed paths before; these two have fought both against one another and alongside one another. This minsieries sees them doing a bit of both. 
-Currently uncollected
awaiting release: Deadpool vs. The Punisher

Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe Again (2017) #1 - #5
Cullen Bunn and Dalibor Talajic return in June 2017 to unleash Deadpool upon the Marvel Universe yet again.
-Currently uncollected, debuts in June 2017.

Even More Deadpool (2009 - 2012)

These books are from the time when Deadpool was absolutely everywhere, he was drawing in new fans and at one time had four ongoings published at once. As with the modern miniseries above, these books are relatively continuity free and can be picked up and read anytime.

Deadpool: Game$ of Death (2009) #1
A one-shot featuring Deadpool in a fatal reality TV show.
-Collected in; Deadpool: Suicide Kings
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 14: Suicide Kings 

Deadpool: Suicide Kings (2009) #1 - #5
A team-up between Deadpool, Spider-Man, Daredevil, and the Punisher which works on almost every level.
-Collected in; Deadpool: Suicide Kings 
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 14: Suicide Kings 

Deadpool Team-Up (2009) #899 - 883
Each issue counts down instead of up and features a new writer and artist telling a story of a different character teaming up with Deadpool each issue.
-Collected in; Deadpool Team Up: Good BuddiesSpecial Relationships & BFFs 
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 13: Deadpool Team-Up 

Deadpool: Merc With A Mouth (2009) #1 - #13
This is a universe-hopping adventure with Deadpool attempting to return his zombified head to its own dimension.
-Collected in; Deadpool: Merc With A Mouth: Head Trip 
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 11: Merc With A Mouth 

Prelude to Deadpool Corps (2010) #1 - #5 
A whole team of Deadpools is just around the corner and each of the 5 issues spotlights a member of the team and their home univserse before they are recruited.
-Collected in; Deadpool Corps Prelude 
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 12: Deadpool Corps

Deadpool Corps (2010) #1 - #12
Primarily drawn by Deadpool co-creator Rob Liefeld, this series was shortlived and featured the team of Deadpools flying around the galaxy doing various missions.
-Collected in; Deadpool Corps: Poolpocalypse Now & You Say You Want A Revolution 
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 12: Deadpool Corps

Deadpool (2009) #900
An oversized issue with various short stories by different writers and artists.
-Collected in; Deadpool: Dead Head Redemption 
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 14: Suicide Kings

Deadpool (2010) #1000
An oversized issue with various short stories by different writers and artists.
-Collected in; Deadpool: Dead Head Redemption 
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 14: Suicide Kings 

Deadpool: Wade Wilson’s War (2010) #1 - #4
This Marvel Knights book plays fast and loose with continuity and delivers a twisting, sprawling tale.
-Collected in; Deadpool: Wade Wilson’s War
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 17: Headcanon

Deadpool and Cable (2010) #25
Set just before Cable jumped into the future in his own book, this was Deadpool’s last true team-up with him until 2016.
-Collected in; Deadpool: All In The Family
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 15: All The Rest

Deadpool and Cable (2011) #26
Deadpool seeks to continue Cable’s legacy now the world is without him.
-Collected in; Deadpool: All In The Family
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 15: All The Rest

Deadpool Annual (2011) #1
One part of a crossover with Spider-Man and Hulk.
-Collected in; Deadpool/Amazing Spider-Man/Incredible Hulk: Identity Wars
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 15: All The Rest

 Wolverine/Deadpool: The Decoy (2011) #1
A short story featuring Deadpool, Wolverine, and Jean Grey’s costume.
-Collected in; Deadpool Team Up: BFFs 
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 14: Suicide Kings

Deadpool Family (2011) #1
Some short stories featuring the Deadpool Corps.
-Collected in; Deadpool: All In The Family
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 12: Deadpool Corps

Fear Itself: Deadpool (2011) #1 - #3
Magic hammers are falling from the skies and Deadpool seeks to make himself out as a hero. Things take a turn for the unexpected.
-Collected in; Fear Itself: Deadpool / Fearsome Four
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 15: All The Rest

Alternate Universe Stories 

Captain America: Who Won’t Wield The Shield? (2010) #1
A bizarre story featuring a gas-masked Deadpool post-World War I who happens to be the nephew of Woodrow Wilson.
-Collected in; Deadpool: Dead Head Redemption
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 15: All The Rest 

Lady Deadpool (2010) #1
Set in her own universe, this one-shot sheds some light on Lady Deadpool’s typical day.
-Collected in; Deadpool Classic Vol. 11: Merc With A Mouth 

X-Men Origins: Deadpool (2010) #1
Deadpool sells Hollywood a version of his origin which isn’t quite as accurate as it should be.
-Collected in; X-Men Origins II 
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 14: Suicide Kings

Deadpool Pulp (2010) #1 - #4
This is set during the Cold War in the 1950s and is a unique spin on the Deadpool mythos.
-Collected in; Deadpool Pulp
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 17: Headcanon

Deadpool Max (2010) #1 - #12
This book is rude, crude, and violent. It’s like an exploitation movie but not quite as clever.
-Collected in; Deadpool Max: Nutjob & Involuntary Armageddon

 Deadpool Max 2 (2011) #1 - #6
A sequel to Deadpool Max, this book follows directly on from the last and is more of the same.
-Collected in; Deadpool Max: Second Cut

 5 Ronin (2011) #1 - #5
This series is a unique look at Marvel’s heroes through the lens of 17th Century Japan. Deadpool has his own tale in issue #5.
-Collected in; 5 Ronin

Night of the Living Deadpool (2014) #1 - #4
Zombies? Everywhere. Heroes? Nowhere. Deadpool? All alone. A stylish book where red is the only colour in a sea of monochrome.
-Collected in; Night of the Living Deadpool 
or Deadpool Minibus
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 17: Headcanon

Return of the Living Deadpool (2015) #1 - #4
The sequel to Night of the Living Deadpool builds on the foundation of the first book and keeps the unique visual style.
-Collected in; Return of the Living Deadpool
or Deadpool Minibus 2
or Deadpool Classic Vol. 17: Headcanon

The Mystery Squad + Tumblr
  • Dirk: Blog is a Mess™. Reblogs every weird aesthetic post he comes across. Long ass description that tells you nothing about him at all. The colours of his theme clash so bad but he never changes them? Has a side blog where he posts updates about his cases and writes like 20000 words with no read more. Cats everywhere.
  • Todd: Runs a moderately successful comedy blog. Appears to have his shit together but does not have his shit together at all. Answers all his asks very sarcastically, gained at least a quarter of his followers from this alone. Master of writing self-degrading text posts that get mad numbers of notes. Also has a blog about bands where he posts videos of him covering songs. No one knows about this blog. (Everyone knows about this blog).
  • Farah: Feminism and guns. She reblogs every single self-defence post. Not very active but has a loyal band of followers. Dirk worships her blog for reasons kind of unknown to everyone. Causes Amanda to have a heart attack whenever she reblogs anything remotely gay.
  • Amanda: Queen of memes. Insanely active for long periods of time, then not active at all for like 3 days. Follows a bunch of wlw blogs in an attempt to curb her crush on Farah. It doesn't work. Has the kind of blog that has no quality content but is still a quality blog. She probably made her own theme, it took days because she doesn't exactly code often. It's the Best Theme of all of them. If any of them has a secret porn blog it's probably her.
Zelda's Log #0: The Permanent Roomate

A/N: first chapter! Read the prologue first, if you are a new reader!
—–

The morning following her arrival to Hateno Village, after giving him a kiss on his brow, Zelda left a deeply asleep Link to get acquainted with her new place of residence.

Clad in her more comfortable blouse, pants and boots, she wandered through the winding road up the hill, until she could reach a height at which she could observe the whole place.

The sight brought a satisfying smile to her face.


7:46 a.m.

It’s amazing how Hateno has changed! It was a small settlement a hundred years ago, now it’s bursting with life and activity. Link's​ house is one of the oldest ones - it was about to be demolished, can you believe it?


She kept walking, reaching the premises of the Laboratory, with the intention of greeting its colorful resident.

Despite her extremely youthful appearance, Zelda recognized the sheikah scientist - her glasses gave her away.

‘Goddesses, Purah, what happened to you?!’, Zelda gasped in shock, hands covering her open mouth.

‘Occupational hazards, Princess’, the tiny child-woman said, shrugging and giving her a cheery wink. ‘Good to see you again!’

'Likewise. I came to see​ how you were faring’, Zelda informed her, ‘and to ask if you could see how my Sheikah slate is working’.

Purah checked the device thoroughly while she explained the Princess her findings on the past century - she was not scant on the details of her accident.

‘It’s perfectly fine, but some upgrades wouldn’t hurt’, she explained, tapping the screen. 'Go back to Link's​ and see if he has spare parts’.

‘How do you know I’m at his house?’, Zelda asked.

'Symin went out and brought some gossip on how Hateno’s newest mystery resident arrived with a lady in a white dress on the back of his horse’, Purah explained, gesticulating with excitement. 'Besides the black fog at the castle faded in a burst of light the other day. You don’t have to be a genius to assume you both defeated the Calamity!’

'Which is true’, Zelda assured. 'I wouldn’t be here if we hadn’t, would I?’

'Sure thing! But in all honesty, I think people probably think you just got hitched’, she chuckled, with a cheery grin, 'white dresses can be misleading!’

The Princess’ face looked as a freshly mined ruby.

'Purah, I will return later with the materials’ - Zelda dashed to the door - 'I need to fix this misunderstanding!’

Zelda didn’t even have to open the door, for Link smashed it open. He waved to the scientists.

'I was looking for you’ - he grabbed her hand, taking her with him - ‘Come with with me’. He seemed a bit upset.

'I know I should have let you know where I was going’, she recognized, letting herself be guided by him. 'Where are we going?’

'You’ll see’.

Zelda looked to the village as they approached it. There was a small crowd gathered near the general store. Immediately an idea popped in her head.

'A-are you going to introduce me…’, she asked nervously. ’…to the people?’

He nodded, smiling widely.

'What are we going to tell them?’, she asked, trying to find the words to explain easily who was her and how she got there.

'The truth’.

She squinted at him, not sure if he was going to tell an abridged version of the facts, or actually the whole story.

Before she could even muster a word to introduce herself, Link surprised her.

‘This is Zelda’, he presented her, 'she is living with me from now on, as my permanent roommate. Be nice to her, please, she is new to many things’.

No more details. A very Link introduction for sure. Only one thing made her iffy.

People kindly greeted her, giving her a warm welcome. Some people even gave her gifts, mostly prepared meals and flowers.

Once she knew all the names, both returned home.  

'Permanent roommate? Seriously?’, Zelda asked, certainly upset, leaving the gifts on the table. 'What kind of concept is that?’

Link huffed.

'I’m sorry, but what else would I say to them?’ - he shrugged- ‘We’re not newlyweds​, like some people thought, and they already know mostly everything about you but your name’.

'What do they know about me?’, she asked startled, worried about his answer.

'I’ve been running around all the corners of Hyrule for months, talking more and to more people than I ever had in my entire life’, he informed her. ‘Most folks in Hyrule know about me and my mission’ - he sighed, drooping his shoulders - 'go figure out the rest’.

'And I was thinking how fantastic would be a life in anonymity, at least for a while’, she sighed in resignation.


12.35 p.m.

I had a really eventful morning. Not only I was able to catch up with the findings of a very rejuvenated Purah - my Sheikah slate is in dire need of updates in comparison to Link’s - but I was also introduced to the villagers by my “permanent roommate” - a term coined by Link to describe our current living status, which I find uncomfortable, to say the least, considering all that has transpired between us.


After lunch, Zelda went to the Lab to upgrade her slate, and wandered around, trying its new features.


3.17 p.m.

I am amazed by the upgrade features! I am out of words by the compendium. I’m so eager to complete it; I might be able to add something new if I am lucky enough to discover a creature or a stone.


The rustle of grass took her eyes away from her writing. She already knew who it was.

'What do you want, permanent roommate?’, she asked, closing her notepad, not even turning to face him. 'I’m busy with my research’.

‘You aren’t. You always do that thing when you are mad’, he noted, 'You shut yourself away, not telling why you are acting like that’ - he sat on the grass next to her - ‘I’m not leaving until you explain yourself’.

‘Your poor choice of words when explaining our relationship to the villagers’. She cut straight to the point.

And then it dawned on him. Zelda heard the slapping noise of his hand against his face and a troubled groan.

‘I’m sorry’, he apologized in a pitiful tone, ‘I didn’t mean it; I thought it described well out situation’.

‘I know’, she acknowledged, turning to face him, ‘That’s why I went to be grumpy on my own. I can be petty if I want to’.

‘I do remember that’.

‘It’s not just that though… I thought people didn’t know who I was’, Zelda commented, playing with the grass blades. ‘I wanted a fresh start, to do whatever I wanted, specially researching’

'No one is telling you what to do now, but’ - he stroked her hair- 'you are who you are, and you can’t rub that off you…You can be a scholar, and still fulfill your royal duties’.

She nodded.

'Let’s go back home’, he requested, offering his hand for her to stand up, 'I made you cake’.

'Sounds like a good plan’, she observed, holding his hand.

They walked hand in hand back home, silently, stealing glances.

Once home, she realized that next to the cake was a beautiful notebook, covered in leather.

'I forgot to give you your birthday gift last night’, he admitted, handing her the item, 'I thought you might want to continue your research in a proper logbook’.

Her eyes widened, with a spark of glee shining on her emerald irises, and a wide smile graced her lips. Her priceless reaction made him feel extremely rewarded.

'Goddesses, it’s fantastic!’, she shouted, examining it, ‘Thank you’ -she held the notebook against her heart- 'this means so much to me’.

He just remained silent, cheeks tinted red.

‘I have a lot of research to do’, she told him coyly, tapping the hard-covered notebook. 'I consider you have the qualifications required to be my assistant… What do you think?’

‘As long as it doesn’t involve eating raw hot-footed frogs’ - he made a disgusted gesture - ‘I accept’.

His answer compelled her to give him a big kiss on the cheek.


7:33 p.m.

This is the first, albeit unofficial entry in this log. I have to catch up not only with a hundred years of research, but also with all the people who remain from our past and present. Link will join me in this quest, not only as my guardian and assistant, but also as something else - to my surprise, this logbook had a charming dedication, perhaps added after a misunderstanding we had during the day, related precisely about our relationship status:

May we never be apart ever again.

-Link (your permanent roommate, who loves you)

Relentless | Calum Hood Series Pt.18

                                          Part E I G H T E E N 

Request: Being the cousin of Ashton Irwin was exciting, especially when invited to their tour to hang out with his best friends. You found yourself becoming fond of Calum Hood, who finds you annoying from your constant appearance. But what would happen if you stopped giving him that attention?

Word Count: 3k+

A/N: hi hi!! this chapter is fairly laid back but nonetheless important! im so happy that you guys love this series, but its about to come to an end :( its gonna be so sad, but i wanna let you guys know that ive had so much fun writing this for you guys. like really, thank you so much for the opportunity, you guys. lets get this to 100, yeah? :) xx

oh, also prepare for smut lmfaooo @ pt 19

Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. [DONE]  

                                                    I M A G I N E 

Hilton Rooftop, 9:55 P.M. 

“How fucking dare you touch my girlfriend like that?” Calum growled at the male on the ground before him. 

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anonymous asked:

i don't get how netflix can make a series like dear white people and then urn around and whitewash death note

Dear white people wasn’t even all that… anyway probably because the same people who made dear white people arent the people who mad death note and vice versa

Different producers etc etc

Music headcanons idk

Ponyboy: Plays the piccolo. When he gets annoyed with anyone, he trills the highest note in their ear.

Sodapop: This child can play the violin like there’s no tomorrow. Modern Soda can play Lindsey Stirling songs.

Darry: He can play the piano. When he’s mad, he smashes the notes then makes that smash sound beautiful.

Two-Bit: He can play the saxophone. You can bet your ass that modern Two-Bit plays ‘Careless Whispers’ repeatedly.

Dally: Kazoo.

Johnny: Cello. He loves the deep sounds.

Steve: Tuba. There’s many a time where you hear the loudest honk on the tuba with Soda just. Y e l l i n g

Cherry: She can sing!!

Second Chances//Part 2

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Words: 1025
Pairings: Reader x Wells; Reader x Bellamy
Warning: None?
Episode: 1x01 Pilot

       Next thing you knew, you were standing, waiting for the door to open. The door that would reveal Earth, the door separating you from either life or death. The door opened, and the girl from the floor was the first to exit. Seeing as she did not die, everyone else followed behind her.

       You hesitated. You had dreamt of this moment for ages. You wanted to experience all the stories from the book that took place on Earth. But most of all, you desired to see the ocean and feel the sand between your toes. Though, you couldn’t find yourself able to step off the dropship door. 

        You looked around and felt a twinge of disappointment as there was no ocean to be seen.

        “Be brave, be brave.” You whispered, trying to convince yourself to step off and onto the dirt. “Be brave.” And with that, you stepped off, your foot hitting the soft dirt that coated the ground. You smiled, you actually did it, you were actually there on Earth. The place you dreamt about. You eyes searched the horizon, which was just trees as far as you could tell.

Keep reading

It was from a book that I acquired from somebody. I think it was ‘On The Road’ by Jack Kerouac. I got it from this artist when I was on holiday and it had obviously had a previous owner because it had been treated like a diary with scribbling all over the place; a bit suicidal, a bit mad. Some of the notes were dated ‘1st June The 1975’. I thought it was quite odd. [The author] was an intelligent person [and] it felt a bit like a demise into madness. It sounds like such an idealistic way for how we got our name but the relevance of it didn’t really become apparent until we named the band that. It wasn’t like ‘I’m gonna name a band after that’, it was just something that played on my mind for a while. It was haunting. I think part of this band has been this massive evolution, kind of a journey of self discovery, so it’s quite an apt name.
—  Matty on the name ‘The 1975’

It had happened so unexpectedly. He took a left turn down the hallway that was supposed to lead him to the main office so he would help Octavia and Kane with the lottery when two men stood in his way. He didn’t know them, though they looked familiar and at first he had taken a surprised step back, trying to figure out what’s wrong. When they step forward too and one of them uttered angrily “This is your fault. You opened the door” he had heard steps behind him  and once he turned around, he saw two big guys blocking his way, basically trapping him there.

“Look, I don’t know what you guys think happened but-”

“What happened is, we were all safe until you were dumb enough to open that door.” the big guy behind him said as he grabbed his hand and twisted it behind his back.

He tried to fight it, he really did and he managed to kick one of them in the stomach and knock another one in the face, but it was four against one. They got him on the ground quickly and started beating him up-he felt kicks in his stomach, ribs cracking, his hand still being twisted away as he tried to raise it and protect his head. He could take a beating, it was far from the first time it was happening to him, but what he wasn’t prepared for was the blade they dug in his right side after they decided they’ve kicked him enough. He gasped when he felt them stabbing him and once the man drew it out he rolled on his back and saw them staring at him from above.

“Jaha sends his regards” was the only thing the guy who still had the knife said with a wicked smile on his face before all of them disappeared.

He covered his wound with his hand and tried to raise himself up at first failing completely at the task until after the third try he managed to drag himself to the wall and lean on it. The hallway was empty, they’ve chosen the place strategically and he had no idea if anyone would pass by in the next hour or so-people were starting to gather downstairs in the main hallway for the lottery which is probably when Jaha’s plan was going to be set in motion. Whatever it must’ve been.

He had to warn them.

He had to get to Clarke.

With clenched teeth and shallow breaths he managed to raise himself on his wobbly feet. Everything hurt, his hands that were still bandaged would slip as he tried to lean on the wall, his left eye refused to stay open anymore and he felt the blood ticking down both from his wound and his nose, leaving a trail behind him as he dragged himself down this cursed place.

On some twisted level he wanted to laugh. He had finally thought that he was making up for everything he’s done, that maybe what Kane has told him, was true-if he did better today than he did yesterday, he deserved to survive. Now he wasn’t so sure anymore. Maybe those guys were nothing but scared parents refused to be separated from their kids if their names are never drawn. Or maybe they were cowards who had no idea what sacrifice meant. Either way, were they wrong to want to live?

Just as he reached the corner he had come from, his left foot betrayed him and he stumbled, falling on his knees. An involuntary gasp escaped his lips and he looked down at the hand that was covering his wound only to realize how much blood there was. He felt dizzy, like he was about to fall soon and tried to stabilize himself by moving closer to the wall but every action didn’t only require strength he no longer possessed, but made his every muscle scream in pain.

“Bellamy!” he heard a familiar voice and saw Murphy rushing to him. Who would’ve thought? Out of all the people in the damn bunker, it had to be Murphy’s selfish ass to save him. ”What the hell happened?” he kneeled down next to him and threw his arm over his shoulders but didn’t try to lift him up right away-something for which Bellamy was eternally grateful at the moment.

“Jaha” he stumbled with words ”is going to try…and stop the lottery.” he uttered and Murphy cursed silently.

“That goddamn psycho.” he gently moved away Bellamy’s hand from his wound only to realize that there’s too much blood and place it back on ”Hold on, I’ll take you to medical.”

And he does. He drags him up on his feet and basically carries his weight to a room Bellamy has never been before. He’s only half-conscious by that time so he hardly has any idea what’s going on. He registered Murphy urging him to hold on while he was dragging him there, but once they placed him on a cot, he shut himself off from any sound. He knew Abby was there, he could see her, she was hovering worriedly above him as she removed his drenched with blood t-shirt as well as his hand that was trying to cover his wound. He saw her gasp when she looked at the damage done on his body, he assumed because there must’ve been bruises already forming there.

“Octavia” he managed to whisper when he realized Murphy was going to leave. He grabbed his hand and with whatever strength he had left tugged him back to the bed ”Get my…sister” he asked and Murphy nodded replying back something he couldn’t make sense of.

He doesn’t lose consciousness while Abby works on patching him up, despite the pain he feels and when ten minutes later both Clarke and Octavia rush through the door, he lets himself relax a little bit-even if he was going to die at least he would see them one last time.

They come to both his sides and grab his hands while showering Abby with questions and throwing worried glances at his drunk from the pain face. He hears them say something about having lost a lot of blood and not sure he’s out of the woods yet when Octavia and Clarke start arguing about it above him.

“You’re hurt” Clarke points out at his sister’s patched up shoulder ”And exhausted. I’ll give him blood.”

“But-”

“I’ve got it” Clarke promises and moves up on the cot next to him as she rolls her sleeve and waits for her mother to hook her vein to his. His sister leans down and whispers things about how it will all be alright as she squeezes his hand tightly.

He thinks maybe her wish will come true-she couldn’t kill him because he was her brother but deep inside maybe she still wished for a way to make him suffer. And now he was suffering. Rightly so. He tries to tell her that he loves her, but she shushes him as she moves her fingers gently through his hair and keeps whispering words that he can’t make sense of. He closes his eyes for a moment and remembers how his mom did the same to him when he woke up from a nightmare.

Some time later when he’s sure he’ll finally succumb into unconsciousness someone opens the door and calls for Octavia. She says something back, angrily but obviously loses the fight because she places a kiss on his forehead and promises she’ll come back.

When she’s gone, he turns to the left and finds Clarke looking down on him with her eyes furrowed, jaw clenching tight-she was mad.

“You’re…pale” he notes and she huffs.

“Way to compliment a girl, Bellamy” she jokes for a moment before she moves her hand over to his and squeezes it hard. The white tube that connects them shifts and he wastes a moment staring at the blood flowing from her vein to his ”So are you, though.”

“You gotta” he moves his other hand when he realizes the reason she’s pale is because she’s given him too much of her blood. His fingers reach to place where the tube is attached with a small plaster and tries to scratch it off ”stop.”

She removes his hand away.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not” he argues as he tries to find a position which doesn’t make his whole body hurt ”Where’s your mom?” he looks around frantically ”You have to take that off.” he’s worried now, too worried and she places her hand on his cheek, turning his face to her.

“Just a few more minutes” she reassures him ”I promise, I’m fine.” he huffs but doesn’t say anything, not even when she moves her hand away.

“You have to…stop sacrificing yourself…princess” he mumbles when he gathers enough strength to open his eyes again.

“Yeah, well I learn from the best” she grips his hand again and smiles at the warmth it gives her. That is until she realizes, it’s too warm, clammy even. She places her hand on his forehead and her heart skips a beat-he was burning up. Cursing silently, she finally removed the tube connecting them, away and grabbed the cloth from the metal table beside them, dipping it in the clean water before squeezing it out and placing it on his forehead. He opens his eyes as if afraid when he feels the cold but once it realizes it’s just her, he settles back down on the pillow.

“All good, princess?” he asks her and she nods when she goes back to her cot and pushes it closer to his.

“Go to sleep” she orders and he smiles.

“You know, I think you really enjoy bossing people around.” he jokes and opens just one playful eye at her.

“I do” she agrees while she lays down on her cot and takes his hand in hers ”Especially sick stubborn people, who are so impatient, they would try to get on their feet tomorrow.”

“Damn right” he mumbles with his last strength and turns his head to her, burying his face in the pillow and fighting his exhaustion just so he could look at her longer ”Can’t stay away from me, can you, princess?” he asks as he eyes the arrangement of their cots.

“Can’t” she replies after spending a second feeling a bit self-conscious ”And won’t.”

“I like that” he admits before he finally lets the darkness consume him.

“I like it too, Bell” is the last thing he hears her say before he drifts away.