AKA: 5 Times Phil Coulson was Their Dad and 1 Time Melinda was Their Mom
Funny story: This entire fic actually stemmed off of a tweet Clark posted a few weeks ago. Someone had compared a photo of him to a photo of a $10 bill and he responded “What’s your name son?” in classic dad trying to be cool fashion. Thus this fic was born. I hope you guys enjoy cause I had a lot of fun writing this!
What’s Your Name, Son?
“Oh my God.” Phil can hear Daisy snickering from the common room, Elena is seated next to her. The speedster is leaning on her shoulder looking at something she had pulled up on her phone now giggling into her leader’s jacket. He takes a moment reminiscing in the sound of their bubbling laughter. It’s infectious really. Laughter was such a rare thing on base and to hear it so uninhibited made his heart swell a bit. Especially from Daisy, whose wide smiles were replaced with half sarcastic smirks. He spies May sipping a beer across from them. Elena seizes the laptop turning it towards May and he swears for half a second it looked like she was about to choke on her beer.
“Anybody wish to let me in on the joke?” He asks stepping into the room. As if almost automatic Melinda holds up the beer that had been settled by her side. She had grabbed it for him. He accepts the beer standing behind her.
“Hablando del diablo.” Elena laughs.
“You know I speak Spanish right?” Phil asks.
“Yes but it’s fun to watch Daisy try to figure out what I’m saying.” Elena jokes shoving Daisy with her elbow.
“I know what diablo means!” Daisy scoffs in protest.
“Only because you wanted your Twitter bio to be ‘Donald es el diablo naranja.’” This time it’s his turn to choke on his beer.
“Coulson thinks it’s funny!”
“I never said it wasn’t funny.” Elena teases.
“Well what were you two joking about?” He asks again.
“Oh!” Daisy turns her laptop showing it to him. On the laptop was a photo of him next to a photo of a ten dollar bill. “Maria sent me those two photos and I have to say the likeness is uncanny.” Daisy snickers.
Phil let’s out a small laugh. He has to say there is a certain resemblance. He can’t help himself, he has to make the joke. “What’ your name, son?” He says in a sing-song tone.
“What?” Daisy’s smile fades from her face as she stares at him.
“You know, the musical Hamilton. All about-”
“I know what Hamilton is Coulson.” Daisy interrupts. “The lyrics are ‘What’s your name, man’ not ‘What’s your name son’”
“No, I’m pretty sure I’m right.” He denies. His gratification in himself only lasts a few seconds before Elena has already pulled up the song playing the section of it. He let’s out a laugh shrugging slightly. “Oops.”
Melinda gets up suddenly leaving the room. He watches her go trying not to be sad at the change. Suddenly Daisy’s laptop makes a noise.
“Huh that’s weird.”
“Who is it from?” Elena asks.
“Says it’s anonymous.” Daisy’s back straightens ready to hack if necessary. Suddenly her face crumples as boisterous laughter escapes her throat. Elena looks over next joining in on the noise. He can’t help his curiosity walking to the back of the couch.
The photo was kind of blurry but it was obviously of his, his glasses perched on his nose. His pants were rolled up to his knees, wearing some graphic tee with bright red shoes. Sure enough it was a photo Melinda had snapped of him on a skateboard.
“May!” He shouts running after her.
The Bearer of Bad Jokes
‘Hey DC I was thinking-”
“I thought I smelled something burning.” Daisy freezes, a glare that scarily similar to May’s shadowing over her face. That’s when Phil had begun.
For months Phil began to terrorize the base with what Daisy referred to as “dad jokes”. He’d take the opportunity to snarkily reply whenever he got the chance. It had become his personal mission to get everyone on the base at least once.
“Fitz,” He calls over the scientist one day with a grim look on his face. They were surveying a cemetery for signs of an inhuman that frequented there visiting her family. “Do you know why I’m not allowed to be buried here?”
Alarm flashes over Fitz’s face. First concern, then mild curiosity, then slight fear. “No sir, why’s that?”
“Because I’m not dead yet.” Yet another one down. He’d fallen for it flawlessly.
Elena is next, cornered in a church after a mission. “Do you know how they make the holy water?” Phil asks suddenly.
“Sir it’s water.”
“They boil the hell out of it.” It was definitely worth getting shot with an ICER by Melinda for that one.
Mack was simply fixing up Melinda’s motorcycle one day when Phil advanced. “I had a dream that I was a muffler last night, you know.”
“Sir?” Mack looked startled and a little freaked out by the odd statement from the normally serious man.
“I woke up exhausted.”
The next came Jemma who sat back after eating a meal that he’d specially prepared for the team as a birthday celebration for Daisy. She sits back suddenly a hand on her stomach.
“I’m full.” She announces with a laugh. Everyone seems to freeze at once recognizing the sparkle of mischief in his eyes.
“No you’re Jemma. I’m full.” Everyone proceeded to groan and leave the room, the remaining two only being him and Melinda. His soft laughter is the only thing filling the silence. “Come on that was a good one.”
“You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”
Yet another undercover mission, Phil sighs to himself as he settles onto the park bench. It was an easy one today, just a stake out. Observe a suspected Inhuman and make deductions of whether or not they could be a potential danger to themselves and others. Even if they figured they were a danger, extraction wasn’t their mission today. Today they were to relax and would it really hurt anybody if they caught a ride or two?
Melinda sits across from him with her sunglasses covering her eyes from him. He knows she’s staring at the family just over his shoulder. The mother turned out to be an Inhuman after being caught on security tape with a random burst of powers. She hadn’t hurt anyone or caused chaos. Just a mere startling. It’s not clear if she’s even aware that she’s exhibited signs of her powers.
He takes a moment to observe Melinda. She’s wearing a flowery dress that barely brushes past her knees. Her hair is tied up into a ponytail and her makeup is light. She’s absolutely breathtaking.
Suddenly she tenses, it’s all in her frame. That’s the look she gets when she’s ready to fight. Phil spares a glance over his shoulder, the woman is leaning over a baby carrier cooing at the small human inside. Not even a sign of the sparks echoing from her fingers. He turns back to Melinda who continues to stare straight past him. His eyes fall on Daisy and Jemma this time. The two girls stand in line waiting for ice cream. They were all posing as a family on vacation, both girls were wearing blue jean shorts and loose fitting tanks. He could tell by their composure both girls were incredibly uncomfortable.
Finally he finds the victims of May’s death glare. There are two guys, one has arm wrapped around Jemma. God bless her, she’s smiling politely and doing her best to maintain cover. He can see the twitch of Daisy’s fingers. If they don’t leave soon Daisy will make them. Phil reaches over placing a hand on Melinda’s as a sign of “I’ll be right back.”
“… You can ditch them. It wouldn’t hurt anything. It looks like you could use someone who can show you a good time.” The taller one is leaning into Daisy now. He’s invading her space. “I think I could show you a good time, what do you say sweetheart?”
Phil clears his throat catching the attention of the four. Jemma’s eyes reveal her entirely. She’s unsure of what to do or say. “Dad?” She chokes out.
“This is the old man?” The one with his arm around Jemma scoffs. “Get out of here pops.” Phil offers his best fake grin. He reared back punching the man in the nose. He immediately releases Jemma and she scrambles over to Melinda. Daisy stomps on the other’s foot twisting his arm as soon as Jemma is out of reach.
“You’re lucky it was me and not my wife.” Phil growls at the boy. He’s holding his nose as it bleeds profusely. “If you come near my girls again I will be sure to let her handle you next time.” He nods to Daisy and she pushes his friend to the ground.
“Thanks Dad.” Daisy smiles nudging him playfully on the arm. His heart swells a bit in his chest. He knows it’s for their cover but it’s something she’s said low enough that only he can hear. He leans in placing a soft kiss on the side of her head.
“Anything for my girls.” He’s pretty sure he could get used to the sound of that.
Phil purses his lips watching the two of them talking rather animatedly from just outside. Mace had been bonding with the agents much more since the whole LMD thing blew over. It seemed his new favorite buddy was Fitz. He nearly jumps when his phone buzzes in his pocket.
Stop being so jealous. You’re practically transparent.
Phil looked around but he was the only one in sight anywhere. Very funny Mel. Where are you?
He waits a beat before the phone buzzes again. Madrid. Got a lead on where Vijay could have disappeared to. Since the LMD thing we set monitors in the zephyr. Your face is as red as the bricks.
He feels his face flush even darker now. Of course Melinda can see right through him even when she’s hours away.
Go in there. Against his instinct he steps into the common room. He can almost feel May’s told-you-so smirk from here. God he really is transparent.
“Agent Coulson, good to see you.” He’s not sure why but Mace’s smarmy grin still burns a fire in his stomach. “I was just discussing with Agent Fitz some improvements that can be made to his lab.”
“Jemma and I’s lab actually… sir.” Fitz corrects offering a kind smile.
“Yes of course.”
“On the bus Fitzsimmons had their own private lab. They work most efficiently when together.” Coulson suggested. Out of the corner of his eye he swears he can see Fitz light up at the idea. “Keeping the separate isn’t beneficial to the team.”
“I think you of all people will understand, Phil, that there are plenty of good agents that work well within SHIELD. It simply isn’t efficient to have a small team of expert agents. We need to spread our assets as much as possible and equalize our training.”
“Yes but Fitzsimmons are an exception. They work exceptionally well alone but their difference together is incredible. If one can’t solve a problem they will find a way to talk the other through it.”
“Hello Fitz.” Phil hears Jemma greet.
“They’re doing it again.” He hears the young scientist mutter under his breath.
“Oh dear, another dad battle?”
“Another dad battle.”
“I will look into your suggestion Coulson. We’ll have a test trial and see if your statement holds true. If so, I will work on making a private sector for agents Fitz and Simmons personally.” Mace stands with an amicable smile, “Now if you excuse me.”
Phil watches him go with a sort of pride in his chest. He feels his phone buzz yet again.
Round: Phil. Victory dinner when we get back?
He smiles to himself shooting back a quick text. You bring the whiskey, I’ll order Thai?
Sounds like a deal to me.
Phil entered the office only to find Jemma and Fitz waiting for him. The sight was a tad unnerving.
“Why do I feel like I’ve been called to the principal’s office?” He jokes.
“Sir, as you know Fitz proposed about a month ago…” Jemma drones off.
“Yes and congratulations.” He smiles.
“Well originally we had planned on eloping to Ireland so that we can get the family together. I mean of course we still are but it’s a little inconvenient for an entire team of spies to all travel to Ireland for a wedding, and that places our family in harm and-”
“What Fitz is trying to say is we’re going to hold two weddings. One for our family in Ireland. One for our family here.” Jemma squeezes her fiancee’s hand as a sign of support.
“Yes. That’s right.”
“And you called me here because?” Coulson asks. “I’m not really one for wedding planning. Though I do make a mean cake.”
“Well, I proposed this to Fitz the other day. I was wondering for our wedding here… Would you walk me down the aisle?” Jemma asks biting her lower lip.
For a few seconds he swears his heart stops again. He would know after all, he’s experienced it before. He’d always wanted kids but never got the opportunity to have them. There were moments when he regretted not being able to teach his boy how to play baseball, teach his little girl how to dance, walk his daughter down the aisle… Now that he’s here it sort of dawns on him that he’s had this all along. Sure he missed out on their childhood but he’s just as much their father as the legal one.
“Well?” Fitz asks hopefully.
“I’d be honored to walk you down the aisle.” Jemma cheers throwing her arms around his neck. In the small sentimental moment, he swears he can hear her small voice against his shoulder.
“I love you Dad.”
A Mother’s Love
Elena was about a fraction away from pacing footsteps into the cement, that much Melinda could tell. Her hands were wringing together at super speed while she stayed pacing just slow enough for Melinda to be able to clearly tell the young woman’s outline. Something was obviously bothering her but she had no idea why she was here. The woman had obviously been waiting for her. It was 5 in the morning, just in time for her Tai Chi and Daisy was out of the country fetching a new inhuman.
“Elena?” The girl stops suddenly almost startled. The bags under her eyes are significant and Melinda almost wonders how long she’d been pacing in here. “What’s wrong?”
She hesitates and for a second Melinda is positive she’s about to run away. She opens her mouth and let’s out a small whisper, “I’m pregnant.”
Melinda freezes for contemplating how to move forwards with this new information. She places her water a towel on the bench and moves back towards her. “How far along are you?”
“About six weeks.” Elena breathes.
“Does anyone else know?”
“Just you and Simmons. She wants to do an ultrasound tomorrow to check on the baby.” Elena frowns.
“And Mack?” The look on her face is enough to give away her true motives behind this visit. “So that’s why you’re here.”
“He told me about what happened to Hope.” Her eyes fall to the ground. “I know you and Coulson know.”
“Records.” Melinda nods, “We’re required to know.”
“I don’t know how to tell him. He already lost one child and now-” Elena sucks in a breath her hands falling on her stomach protectively.
“You’re worried he’ll not want this child.”
“No.” Elena almost looks offended. “Just… What if something horrible happens?”
Melinda purses her lips at the thought. “Something terrible always happens. I swear to you we will do everything in our power to protect both of you.”
“What if they’re…”
“Inhuman?” Melinda asks. “Then we teach them as you and Daisy learned. This is a gift. Not a curse. So many people used their powers for bad over fear of themselves.” She states calmly. “He or she will have nothing to be afraid of.”
“He has to let the girl go.” Melinda smiles sadly. “Have faith in him.”
Quicker than she can react, Elena has her wrapped in a crushing hug. Hesitantly Melinda hugs the girl back. “Thank you May.”
“Hey.” Phil snakes his arms around her waist from behind, kissing the back of her neck. “Have I ever told you how good you look in my shirts?” He purrs nipping lightly at the juncture of her neck. She was clad in nothing more than his shirt when she’d heard a small knock on the door in the middle of the night. “Why did you leave bed?” He buries his nose in her neck possessively.
Melinda had asked the same question herself when she’d come out. Her gun lays dormant on the table beside the door, in replacement she clutches a photo in her hand. The photo is blurry but she can trace the outline of the small baby.
Faith. The name was written in familiar handwriting on the back. It had been a few months since she’d talked to Elena about her situation. Now not only did she have a photo, but a name as well.
“Apparently we’re grandparents.” Melinda smiles showing him the photo.
“Faith?” Phil laughs lightly. “Mack has always been a sentimental man.”
Four and a half months later, Melinda sheds a tear for the first time in years as Faith Mira Mackenzie grips the tip of her finger in her tiny little fist.
what has me the most shook abt the sneak peak is that in the s2 trailer they made it seem like the mvp that jonah talked about at the party was andi bc of the way the trailer is cut, but now we all know that it was actually cyrus and that’s just beautiful
i’m willing to start from the bottom and work my way up without any help or arm-twisting. all i want is the opportunity to prove myself. being a part of this world.. working at the daily planet.. it’s - it’s always been my dream.
i know you may be editor in chief now, but even you had to start somewhere. and i am not gonna give up until i get the same chance.
On this day in music history: October 5, 1959 - “Mack The Knife” by Bobby Darin hits #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for 9 weeks (non-consecutive), also peaking at #6 on the R&B singles chart on November 23, 1959. Written by Kurt Weill, Berthold Brecht and Marc Blitzstein, it is the biggest hit for the singer and actor born Walden Robert Cassoto. A cover of the standard from the Kurt Weill - Berthold Brecht musical “The Threepenny Opera”, Darin is inspired to record it after hearing Louis Armstrong’s version of the song. The track is recorded at Fulton Sound Studios in New York City on December 19, 1958 with Atlantic Records co-founder and chairman Ahmet Ertegun producing. Initially he is resistant to it being released as a single after American Bandstand host Dick Clark dissuades him from putting it out, feeling that the show tune will alienate his rock & roll fans. Darin himself is also not sure of the records chances at first, but has a change of heart. Atco issues as the first single from “That’s All” in early August of 1959, and becomes an instant smash. Entering the Hot 100 at #59 on August 24, 1959, it rockets to the top of the chart just six weeks later. After six consecutive weeks at the top, it drops to #2 for a week behind The Fleetwoods “Mr. Blue”, then regains the top spot for three more weeks. The single earns Darin two Grammy Awards including Best New Artist and Best Vocal Performance By A Male.
Bobby Darin’s recording of “Mack The Knife” is also inducted into the Grammy Hall Of Fame in 1999, two years after Armstrong’s 1955 recording.
“Mack The Knife” is certified Gold in the US by the RIAA.
1. jockey full of bourbon - tom waits // 2. solitaire - mark lanegan // 3. nights in white satin - the moody blues // 4. mother - pink floyd // 5. mack the knife - mark lanegan // 6. night moves - bob seger // 7. red right hand - nick cave & the bad seeds // 8. make it wit chu - queens of the stone age // 9. little drop of poison - tom waits // 10. do i wanna know? - arctic monkeys // 11. bad moon rising - creedence clearwater revival // 12. god’s gonna cut you down - johnny cash // 13. make it rain - tom waits // 14. black betty - ram jam // 15. bad company - bad company // 16. luckenbach, texas - waylon jennings // 17. body snatcher - billy idol