machine oil

sleep scale

12+ hours: hell yes. decadence has a name and it is ME. the dream. im marrying  my bed you’re invited to the wedding. i might feel groggy and angry for the rest of the day when i actually do get up but WORTH IT. 

12+ hours (ALTERNATE): i am deeply clinically depressed and approximately three (3) inches from death at any given moment

11-10 hours: ideal. im functioning at perfect 100% capacity my body and mind are a well oiled machine. im ready to knock out all my errands and chores in under an hour, work a full day and then study that language im trying to learn

9 hours: good! i could have slept longer, but getting up was no great horrifying trauma either

8-7 hours: the “””””medically recommended amount””””” for adults, but in reality more like a “fine, i GUESS” amount. normal mild levels of angst at having to get out of bed

6 hours: silent unceasing internal groaning for at least the first hour after waking. dont expect any kind of quality conversation for the first 2 or so hours. ive got a Less Than Medically Recommended Amount Of Sleep, that means im a martyr right???

5 hours: pretty unpleasant. feels gross. expect a moderate crash during the late afternoon. this is the first number that is considered worthy of entry in a college student sleep-measuring contest. altho if you try to enter with 5 hrs dead-eyed hordes will instantly materialize from the bushes and one-up you “5 hours??? HAHA SWEET SUMMER CHILD. I HAVENT SLEPT IN 3 YEARS”

4 hours: a Very Poor Decision. deep seated, incoherent rage upon waking that persists up to several hours. consume large amounts of your stimulant of choice, but you’ll still feel like a cave troll. constant aftertaste of chemicals and regret

3 hours: half awake half walking in some astral plane haunted by the wails of the newly-dead. children and animals fear the emptiness in your vacant eyes. a very respectable entry to any sleep-measuring contest. you’ll still get beaten by the “2 hour” and “all nighter” people, but everyone knows this is Bad

2 hours: you can get up, but only by rending your soul from your physical body in a paroxysm of agony, since it will refuse to leave the bed. you are now soulless and will feel absolutely zero emotion until sometime in the late afternoon/early evening when your soul returns and ALL the emotions will hit at once, leaving you alternately sobbing or creepily hyena laughing

1 hour: you fool. you imbecile. your hubris and weakness has brought you to this point. they are coming. you cannot escape. why didnt you just stay awake. why didnt you just pull the all-nighter. the strength of your no-sleep headache threatens to stab through your skull like an ice pick. all you can taste is blood. they are comi

0 hours: THIS ACTUALLY ISNT AS BAD. HAHA I’M NOT EVEN THAT TIRED! WATCH ME DOWN 15 MOUNTAIN DEWS IN 15 MINUTES. I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING IN MY EARS ISNT THAT WEIRD. WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY EYES ARE BLOODSHOT AND I CANT FOCUS, IM COMPLETELY NORMAL RIGHT NOW. GUYS I CAN HEAR COLORS.

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: A swarm of ants, possibly allied with you possibly not, the stars wouldn’t clarify.

Taurus: With the right tools and preparation you will nail the job interview. Hammer, bring a hammer.

Gemini: Stretch your legs, remove your pants. Let a good thing be good. This is not a suggestion. This is a command.

Cancer: One day you will realize you are all grown up. The roots have taken their place and you have transcended the need for El Pollo Loco.

Leo: Who cares what motivates you? Save children out of spite. Help the sick out of hatred. 

Virgo: Some people are attractive in the same way a venus flytrap smells nice.

Libra: Turns out you can feel better by just pretending you’re not sad forever! Just kidding you’d die a bitter and useless death.

Scorpio: Sluts are an important part of any social ecosystem. The world is a sticky, yet well oiled machine. 

Ophiuchus: Leather is literally skin. Don’t think too hard about it.

Sagittarius: Homework is lame, all the cool kids are constructing intricate replicas of historical buildings by carefully melting tupperware with a cigarette lighter.

Capricorn: Life can just get radically better and worse with no input from you. You can just wake up one morning and find out your liver shut down because someone stuffed $35,000 into it while you were asleep.

Aquarius: While the stars and I agree with the labor theory of value we think you misunderstand. A kidney stone is not the product of your labor and is not an acceptable form of payment.

Pisces: The mistake is thinking there is a box in the first place.

Punk Problems

It has come to my attention as of late that people do not fully understand the difference in the punks. Some people seem to think that Steampunk is pretty much everything when you see it.

Let us review the fundamentals. Steampunk is set in an alternate future where steam was the primary technology and they continued on that path till now. That’s basically it. However there are MANY alternate futures with alternate technology’s, and lumping all of them into steampunk is just cheapening them. So let me just show you an example of each.

CLOCK/STEAMPUNK: This era is often Victorian in style for some reason and the steam powered robots often use lots of smoke stacks, gears, clockwork, belts and goggles.

TESLAPUNK: Unlike steampunk, this world functions as if Nikola Tesla had revolutionized the world with his electricity. Lots of lightning rods, Tesla rods and power cables. Often this is confused as steampunk because they often have the a similar look.

DIESELPUNK: This universe takes place in a world where diesel engines and machines using oil are everywhere. This is criminally underused. They usually use a more art deco and WW1/2 style.

ATOMIC/RAYPUNK: This one uses atomic technology. Lasers, blasters, radiation, green glows, aliens and giant robots. Also rarely used but I dare you to watch “The Iron Giant” and tell me you don’t love it.

CYBERPUNK: Possibly more well known than steampunk. A future, in which technology is so advanced people are more technologically advanced than some of the robots. Chainsaw arms, robotic eyes, hooking your brain up to the internet and evil corporations.

BIOPUNK: Imagine a future where technology has advanced so much that we construct living organisms as easily as building a robots. Living machines, weapons, organic clothing and new and improved limbs.

JUNKPUNK: Almost as unknown as candlepunk but still one to remember. This world all technology is composed of random parts you might find in a junkyard. Kind of like the ‘Coolest’ cooler.

SOLARPUNK: This one has been getting some recent attention. However in a world where technology is powered by the sun I have yet to find one robot picture so sorry about this one.

PUNKPUNK: You have gone off the far side of the spectrum. Turn back.


Hopefully now you can tell the different alternate futures apart and can better survive in the world with this Essential information.


(Note this is not my artwork just a quick google search, but I am working on a series that will clarify these examples better with my own work.)

The Cartel (Master List)

BOOGIE NIGHTS AND COLOMBIAN WHITE

It’s 1970′s Florida and the most wicked cartel on the eastern seaboard is at the peak of crime and thievery. Each member designed to execute exactly what they’re meant to - each a cog inside Byun Baekhyun’s well-oiled machine. Every king needs a court though; a worthy entourage to ensure his continued power. In order to deal the cleanest product, sometimes you have to get your hands dirty.


Byun Baekhyun, The Head. Smooth, meticulous, nary a word or hair out of place. Holds nothing dearer than the empire he built with his own two hands - except for the one woman who could bring it all crashing down. 

One Shot by @kpopfanfictrash - Fire ]

Originally posted by luedeer


Kim Minseok, The Pimp. Anything you need done - and done right - you go to Minseok. His hands are everywhere, he knows everything and he’s often the first face you see in the cartel. He also might be your last.

One Shot by @iwonchubebe - Danger Within ]

Originally posted by addtidathida


Kim Jongin, The Diversion. Charm, wit and the face of an angel. Jongin is a man eyes can’t help but be drawn towards. He’ll flirt, he’ll smile - all while quietly robbing you blind. Fond of racing, women and loose morals - you know where there’s Jongin, Yixing can’t be too far behind.

One Shot by @changseobbing  -  [ Momentum ]

Originally posted by kittihun


Zhang Yixing, The Eyes. When asked why he likes the dark so much, he just says that he does. Simple. Really, it’s because it’s easy to forget your rules when you think no one is watching, or remembering you in the morning but he’s seen you. He’s seen you and, oh - does he remember all your secrets. 

One Shot by @bread-jinie - [ Shortwave ]

Originally posted by 305heaux


Oh Sehun, The Greaser. Better at fixing cars than people, Sehun is the man to know when your vehicle needs to be at the top of its game. Full of sarcastic remarks, random car facts and long gazes - he’s usually found elbow-deep in a machine, a dirty rag tucked into his back pocket. You need a car that’s fast, sexy and damn-near impossible to catch? Oh Sehun’s got you covered. 

One Shot by @imdifferentshadesofpurple - [ Accélérer ]

Originally posted by lullabyun


Do Kyungsoo, The Fed. Because every respectable cartel needs an inside man. He can bust the operation in a matter of minutes, but when the price is right you’ll find a significant amount of evidence lost. The FBI agent with a promising future, only to be dragged down for the sake of his family. But let’s not judge him too hard - a man’s got to eat, after all. 

One Shot by @def-initely-soul - Artifex ]

Originally posted by dazzlingkai


Park Chanyeol, The Bruiser.  If his name doesn’t strike fear into your heart, you haven’t had the chance to meet him face to face. As the muscle of the operations, Chanyeol has one job and one job only: protect Byun Baekhyun. No one so much as looks at the Head without Chanyeol saying so. 

One Shot by @knockknocksoosthere - [ Illusions ]

Originally posted by grinding-on-baek


Kim Junmyeon, The Cleaner. In a group as hot-headed as this, it’s easy for members to forget themselves and leave a trail. Junmyeon is one who makes their problems disappear, who erases them to nothing more than lemon and bleach. When a member wakes up on a boat, stranded with only a snowshoe crab for company - who’s the man that they call? Junmyeon. 

One Shot by @igot7bangtanbaes - [ Erasure ]

Originally posted by veriloquentmind


Kim Jongdae, The Money. Years ago, Jongdae was just another analyst on Wall Street. These days, it’s rare to see him without his Bugatti or penthouse view. In charge of the numbers, analysis and all things paper - Jongdae is the one who protects their funds. Just in case this life of crime should ever come crashing down around them. 

One Shot by @kpopfanfictrash - [ The Money ]  

Originally posted by dragonkick

“Hnghh it h-hurts”

“We got you buddy, just a little longer”
Prompto struggles to take his own advice because he’s a sympathy crier, not to mention how hard it is to see his best friend in so much pain.

I kinda felt like this might have been while Gladio was doing his Trials so they’re trying badly to compensate for that lost piece in their normally well oiled machine. But it’s left a lot of openings and blind spots.

At the very least theyve a greater appreciation for what Gladio does after this too. One Noct is eventually in a fitful doze on his stomach on the bed Prompto slips into the bathroom to have his little breakdown in peace. Ignis doesnt give him long before checking on him tho, and pulling him out and getting him to lie down by Noct and rest.

I imagine the patches are soaked in a mix of potion and antidote, to ward off any infections and to heal, they were low on stock so theyre trying to stretch it until he can slip out to get some more. Dinner will be something tasty for Noct that evening, which will also give him something to do to avoid wallowing.

dsfsldfksldfksdf i’m honestly dead that gaming live stream was so good!!!!!!!!!!!! they were so funny and witty and natural and their banter works so well in real time and they just riff of each other so nicely and they work so well together and they flirted a fuck ton and im feeling so many things yall!!!!! here’s a v lengthy list of my fav moments: 

  • phil exposes dan and tells the audience dan makes fun of phil’s smile when they get their photos taken, and dan immediately wants to clarify he’s not being mean to phil, it’s all banter
  • dan says the big monster creature is phil’s mum and phil responds with his typical (giggling) outrage. dan immediately says he’s kidding and then says ‘love you kath’ bc he knows she watches and im gonna be honest that gave me a rush of emotion lmao 
  • phil: ‘take my lettuce’
  • dan: ‘feed me dad’ @ huge monster
  • phil: ‘plonk your tomato on my lettuce’
  • phil wants to name this ‘dan and phil’s salad dream’ dan immediately thinks that sounds like it could be a fanfic bc ofc he does
  • dan feels the need to clarify he was misquoted in one of the tweets from the jaguar event probs bc he saw the ppl dragging him for saying something that sounded like ‘millennials need products to help them go outside’ lmao
  • they have a loud faux argument when they both have to control driving the bus and my ears hurt but my heart is warm
  • phil tells dan to breathe before they start the first actual round and it’s cute
  • phil’s mostly on chopping and dishes duty and claims he doesn’t want to be sous chef. dan literally immediately responds by saying that typically the head chef is disliked by people and the sous chef is the one that actually does all the work .. wow …… what are these Emotions? it’s like when they were playing 1, 2, switch and phil was like, why do i have to be luigi and you get to be mario, and dan was like luigi’s actually the one people like :(((((( wtf :(
  • ‘get out of the way lad’ says phil to dan and i’m dying
  • dan making fun of phil for making a song reference ‘from 1982′ by fondly yelling ‘you relic’
  • dan says phil’s behavior is ‘absolute babuse’ .. and i’m crying bc they def just use this word now referencing the vid where phil predicts dan’s future and attacks him with a banana & dan probably thinks it’s hilarious that phil said it in the first place and why are they so fond of each other honestly
  • there’s a new chef in the game for round 2 who dan thinks looks like pj but phil thinks looks like the child of dan and pj and dan immediately makes yet another fanfic reference, saying a fic of that definitely exists (if there is where can i read it? does dan read parent!kickthefire fic in his free time? does phil read it bc of his mpreg fixation? i need answers)
  • phil doesn’t like soup bc is it a food or is it a drink (dan, vehemently: ‘it’s a food’)
  • dan says he’s gonna play this second round as the PJ-lookalike chef and phil takes issue: ‘i’m gonna feel like my friend has disappeared and been replaced by a slightly different replica’ dan looks at him blankly for a second and then says ’that was like a whole thing’ sdfjsldfsdf what a weird interaction ahahaha i feel like dan was a bit thrown by phil making a big deal out of dan playing as ‘himself’ in the game 
  • phil keeps reminding dan to relax and it makes dan giggle a lot. phil’s like, ‘philly says relax’ and dan just goes full dimply, crinkly smile and my heart has fully melted
  • phil says ‘oh daniel’ in a deep singsong-y voice. phil just sang a lot in general in this stream, the thing where he replaces words to common tunes with whatevers happening in the game, and he does that all the time and it’s one of his most endearing traits for sure
  • dan: ‘i’m going to give you a soup thats not on fire’ phil: ‘put it in my mouth’
  • dan’s making these horrendous spitting spluttering noises and phils just gentle and going ‘dan we’ve got another tomato to do’ a couple of times to get him to focus ahahah
  • ‘this is not a hierarchy thing. we’re both a part of this kitchen’ this feels like a metaphor
  • phil suggests they do a ‘fist bump of truth’ before starting the final round
  • ‘dan i love your butt’ dan reads from the chat, and promptly gives a dead stare to the camera before saying he’ll ignore the chat again for a bit
  • ‘don’t be upset I’m not offended’ says phil to the audience when dan screams at him and alleges that they would’ve done fine that round if phil hadn’t ‘ballsed it up.’ lmao!!!!! they’re both so aware of people thinking dan is mean to phil, its kind of funny that phil’s instinct was to laugh at dan yelling at him and then to reassure the viewers that he’s literally completely fine and no one needs to bother feeling upset on his behalf.
  • why can they just say a word like ‘potato’ and then immediately know the reference they’re both thinking of and both start singing at like the exact same time it’s disturbing
  • ‘dan and phil’s salady dreams’ says phil, he’s really into these suggestive salad phrases
  • phil: ‘don’t swear’ dan: ‘this is a christian channel. no yiffing’
  • phil: ’we’re like a well oiled machine’ dan: ’we’re symbiotic right now’ (is this them just describing their general state of being)
  • wtf was that whole ad bit??? phil had a potential contact lens issue and dan starts asking him about it before randomly breaking off to look at phil intensely and do some cutesy facial expressions and then ask in a strangely soft, almost childish voice whether he can ‘press the button’ and they both kind of just look at each other and giggle and then phil is like weird and placating in his tone and it’s ….. cute??? why was that interaction cute wtf? but it’s just a button to play an ad so they try it but literally no one actually got an ad (if u got an ad then u just missed phil getting up to check his contact and coming back in 10 seconds and dan saying like ‘hi’ ‘hello’ ‘what’s up’ or some random filler words like that)
  • when they look at the game again there’s a new chef on the screen and it’s a cat and phil is immediately like ‘i want to be the cat chef!!!’ and then dan is like ’speaking of yiff … hello there’ sdfksdflsdf i’m dying @ these actual furries
  • dan then goes on a small tangent about fursuits which was definitely him stating actual opinions about how fursuits should have more colors or like rainbow stripes, and if youre going to make one, why would u go for a cat? it should be fox or wolf or dog. in case anyone wanted dan’s opinions on that. phil looks legit uncomfortable for a fleeting second but they transition onwards quite smoothly
  • they shout out some of phil’s fav comments from the last vid which was cute and phil acknowledges his swear
  • phil: *wants to show the viewers their new fancy mic* dan: ’show me that micussy’ …. that about sums it up folks

one of my fave tropes: two people hate each other and/or argue about everything but when they are put to a task together they make a surprisingly good team

Highlights from AJ LoCascio and Neil Kaplan Let's Voltron Podcast
  • Neil and AJ praise the animation on this show
  • Neil sometimes gets so sucked into the series as he watches it on TV, he goes, “Oh yeah! I’m on it, too!” 
  • Neil teases AJ by saying that one of the reasons why he enjoyed this season is that he enjoyed listening to AJ’s Lotor voice and can see why all of the fangirls love it. (AJ gets bashful at this part) 
  • Neil loved seeing the scenes between him and AJ in context. AJ says the same thing. 
  • AJ loves the interaction between Lotor and Zarkon since you get a sense that they both know the other is lying, so no one is fooling anyone. Seeing their relationship play out is so much for him to see
  • AJ says that Neil’s voice is awesome. 
  • When AJ was 16, his mother kicked him out of the house. (He never gave a reason why his mother did that or went into detail outside of that.) He does claim it was a “blessing in disguise.” Because of that experience, AJ says that Lotor being ordered to killed on sight and seeking out the paladins may be a blessing in disguise, so Lotor can find who he truly is.  
  • When asked if Lotor knows if Honerva is Haggar, AJ says he can’t give it away. But then he and Neil joke around about the answer some more, saying that it could all be a dream. (From what I can gather, that answer is a spoiler, so we could be getting some more insight about that down the line) 
  •  Zarkon isn’t ignoring Lotor after hearing about the comet. Zarkon dismissed Lotor at first, but now he knows about the ships, he’s putting an end to it any way possible. 
  •  Lotor might use the comet as a bargaining chip for the paladins
  • If Lotor was a paladin, he would be the Purple Paladin and be Voltron’s hat 
  • When asked about what got in between Zarkon and Lotor, AJ and Neil joke that Lotor used “clackers” and Lotor listened to a lot of emo music
  • Neil thinks Zarkon should take a vacation in order to reassess about how he’s gonna go after Voltron and that he’s doing too much himself thanks to his generals letting him down
  • Zarkon would remove Lotor with puppets (I think Neil’s joking about this…?) 
  • Unfortunately, the show is such a well oiled machine, so Neil and AJ haven’t talked with each other outside of saying lines in the booth as much they would like.  If that was the case, Neil is sure that he would be picking up as much VAing knowledge as visa versa 
  • The only thing that Neil taught AJ is, “Don’t eat all of the sandwiches from Portos.”(Neil explains that’s a bakery near their workplace) 
  • The only way for Zarkon to accept Lotor is if he delivered Voltron to him
  • If they were in an RPG, Lotor would be an elf and Zarkon would be a tank or a wizard
  • When AJ saw the part where Lotor dislocates his shoulders for the first time when he was recording that part, he screamed. 
  • The reason why Lotor is able to do that is likely due to mixed genetics and the fact that he was in a life and death situation, not really caring that he was hurt
  • Lotor isn’t that bothered by Zarkon training Sendak now, but he was when he was little
  •  AJ once whacked his head on the Blue Lion (There’s life-sized models of the lions in the studio) 
  • There was a time where Neil was with all of the major VAs in the booth and went, “Oh that’s who you are.” He can’t go into detail outside of that. (So, what caused that is a spoiler, pretty much. Maybe Zarkon interacts with the paladins in the future?)
  • Neil is more musically inclined since he did musical theater, but AJ can play the harmonica
  •  AJ thinks Zarkon and Lotor’s relationship like Loki and Odin’s from the MCU along with Ozai and Zuko/Azula from Avatar. 
  • Neil thinks their like Henry and Christian from Moulin Rouge, Mario and Luigi from The Super Mario Brothers Movie (They were father and son in that movie unlike the games…at least that’s what I got from online reviews of that movie)  and Eddie and Roger Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit along with some characters from Lion in Winter (Not sure which ones since he listed off some actors instead of characters) 
  • Lotor’s favourite holiday is Halloween since he would love scaring everybody at a haunted house in his home. (As a side note, someone needs to make a modern AU about this) 
  • Neil also added, “Lotor also loves Halloween so he can dress up as Pidge–his favourite paladin.” 
  • Zarkon’s favourite holiday would be Thanksgiving
  • Zarkon’s favourite food at Thanksgiving would be the Quintessence Stuffing and onion rings.
  • Lotor never gave his dad a “Number One Dad” mug
  • AJ used to watch Leave it to Beaver a lot as a child
  • Zarkon is a smooth jazz kinda guy 
  • The one thing Lotor and Zarkon can agree on is that Jazz is better then Death Metal
  • AJ would’ve added the “Most Annoying Sound in the World” from Dumb and Dumber when Lotor dislocated his shoulders 
  • Neil would love to add a clown horn into the show if he could add a goofy sound effect
  • Neil sang a song on air and unfortunately AJ didn’t
  • Galra teens in the empire would say, “Vrepit sa, dude!” according to them
  • Lotor would get along with Keith and Allura the best since they have similar backgrounds.
  •  AJ added, “Kimberly and I get along very well, so art might intimate life.”
  • Neil thinks Lotor and Keith will get along the best. 
  • AJ agreed, saying that Keith may bring out the good in Lotor and ground him.
  •  AJ teases that Hunk could bring out the more “human” side of Lotor and food brings everyone together.
  • Neil thinks Lotor’s ex generals would make for an awesome girl band
  • Neil thinks that the Galra Empire doesn’t get enough credit for being inclusive towards women
  • The arena set up isn’t staged on Lotor’s part. He really is that good of a method actor
  • Lotor and Zarkon would dress up as two characters from Twins, Harry Potter and Voldemort or Gimly and Legolas if they were forced to do a group costume


There were probably some other points I’ve missed, but those were the major ones I caught on to… 

An All-Inclusive Guide to Making Your First Year in Practice Not Suck As Much As Wayfaring’s

Hi there, just curious if you’d share what things you were looking for in your first job vs what things you value now, now that you’ve been working out there on your own. Anything that must be in the contract that wasn’t there before (or vice versa)? Tips for future graduating residents?

Yaaaaasssss so many advices. So many things. This ask has been in my inbox for months because I have too many things to say about it and I can’t seem to organize it properly. 

Let’s break it down into 3 sections: 1) What I thought I wanted 2) What I needed and didn’t know to ask/look for 3) What I want now. Here goes.

What I thought I wanted:

  • big dolla$$$
  • super sweet signing bonus
  • moving allowance
  • loan repayment assistance
  • regular 40 hour work schedule
  • nice patients
  • independence / autonomy in decisionmaking
  • ability to practice the way I was trained - with up to date guidelines and procedures and equipment


What I wanted and didn’t know to ask for:

  • Supportive colleagues - In your first year of practice out of residency you lose every ounce of confidence that you gained as a senior resident. You question minor decisions and are constantly afraid of killing people or being sued. It is extra hard to practice in a new town when your partners in practice are not supportive. Sometimes you need someone to lay a fresh set of eyes on a wonky EKG or a weird rash, you know? I didn’t have that option. It made me study harder and somewhat be more cautious and definitely more creative in my practice. But having a colleague to commiserate with at the end of the day or to consult on difficult cases would have been really nice. You don’t have to be BFFs with your colleagues, but they have to be people you can agree/get along with and trust to take care of your patients in your absence.
  • Friends - This sounds obvious, but I moved to a new town that literally has no people anywhere close to my age. Even having one person I knew and could confide in would have been wonderful. One person to go to a movie with or watch a football game with would have been a sanity saver for me. Find a place where you can find other people like you. 
  • A reasonable amount of time off - I got less time off in my first job than I did as a resident. That was unacceptable to me. This would be fine if my practice didn’t act like they were going to go bankrupt if I took an unpaid day or even a half day to go to the doctor, but they did. You need a place where you can take one week off every 3-4 months if possible, even if all that time isn’t paid. Medicine is such a stressful job. Make sure they’re giving you rest time.
  • A non-toxic work environment - I knew going into my job that I was replacing a workaholic and that I was joining a workaholic. What I didn’t realize was that I was also expected to be a workaholic and anything less than killing myself was seen as laziness. Pay attention to the culture at your new job. Ask the docs what they do for fun or to relax and more importantly when the last time was they did that thing. If they don’t have any answers, they’re too busy. 
  • Diversity. This may just be me, but I went into family medicine because I get bored easily. I need variety of patient types and disease types and socioeconomic groups and everything else. I realized quickly in my practice that most of my patients were privately insured elderly white people. As in, the most boring demographic for Wayfaring
  • A Balanced schedule. I figured that when I joined a practice that had been established for 30 years that the workflow kinks would have been worked out and it would run like a well oiled machine. In reality I would have 8 physicals a day and 5 of my most complicated patients in hospital follow ups back to back, all scheduled for just 15 minutes. There has to be balance in the schedule. You have to be able to take a little extra time here and make it up elsewhere. 


What I want now: 

  • fair dolla$$$. In actuality, what’s fair is actually considerably more than what I was making in my first job. I was grossly underpaid, particularly considering this being a rural area where nobody wants to work (typically those jobs are paid much higher). It’s not about the bottom dollar value for me. It’s about compensating me in a way that is comparable to my peers. 
  • Colleagues who can be both friends and mentors. See above. 
  • Good benefits. Two years of no dental or vision sucks when your most expensive problems are dental and vision related. Life insurance and retirement plans aren’t something most 30 year olds think of, but they’re really important, and I didn’t have those to start with. 
  • A flexible schedule. The whole world doesn’t need to fall apart if I need to switch my regular day off or if I need a half day to go to the doctor. 
  • Administrative time. Preferably a full week day, but a half day is great too. I’m happy working 4 10 or 12 hour days a week to have one week day off to catch up on work I’m behind on or get my hair cut and get my taxes done and see my psychiatrist, you know?
  • Knowledgeable and helpful staff. I need staff who don’t perpetuate old wives’ tales and notions like “you need a zpack for that cold”. I need to work with people who will ask if they don’t understand something rather than just make something up and who can help me educate my patients. I need folks who are prompt and who can anticipate some needs. 
  • To not be responsible for other peoples’ paychecks. In private practice, if I take time off or scale back, the practice loses money and thus our staff lose hours or money too. The staff in my first job were horribly underpaid and I don’t like the idea of the entire burden of the practice’s finances hanging on my shoulders. Sign me up for that hospital-owned practice, please.
  • To not have to turn patients away based on payer source. This is a national problem and is definitely not limited to my first job. But my first job wouldn’t let me take Medicaid patients at all. It made it completely impossible for me to build any sort of pediatric or OB practice in our town. I don’t like the idea of turning away a patient because their type of insurance doesn’t pay as well. I want to just treat patients and not have to worry about their payments. Hello, single payer healthcare system. Get on it! Obviously I will still have to worry about whether my patient can afford their meds or whether their insurance will cover their meds, but I won’t have to pick and choose what patients I accept based on their payer source. 
  • To deliver quality, up to date care. To work with people who will back up my evidence-based decisions and not practice based on feelings and patient satisfaction. To work with people who will encourage me to learn more and do new things. 

There you have it folks. A lil summary of what I want, what you might want, and what I’ve learned in these first (almost) 2 years of practice. Here’s to better future jobs for us all!

You and I used to be about as close as two people could possibly be, and now look at us… so alienated… so separate.
I remember a time when we used to work like a well-oiled machine… all the intricate thoughts and emotions between us, moving through rhythmic motions in perfect harmony. Whatever happened to those days when we were so in tune that we could sense even the slightest emotional tremors in each other without even having to be in the same room? The way we would reach out to one another with our thoughts and listen with our hearts… always wanting to be closer, ever closer… where did that all go?
What a sad sorry thing it is now… All that we had is gone, left abandoned as though it were a room and you simply got up one day and left. But my love still lingers in the doorway looking back, refusing to leave because it is unable accept the emptiness you’ve left in your wake… And all I am left with is that thought… That single sentence echoing around in my head… “We used to be so close…”. What a sad sorry sentence that is. Is anything more expressive of emptiness than that? Six little words that say so much about just how little is left…
10

Professor Amy Santiago might be smart enough to be a Ravenclaw, but honestly she’s the most ambitious person at Hogwarts and quite capable of being sly and scary clever so years ago the hat put her in Slytherin and never second guessed the choice. Now she’s Head of House (and gunning for the position as the youngest Deputy Headmistress in the history of Hogwarts). She teaches Transfiguration, it’s a theory based subject which takes not only power but tons of concentration and attention to detail (‘as you transform the rat into a goblet don’t forget to remove the fur or whiskers’), and as soon as human transfiguration comes into it it’s also one of the more dangerous magical arts ('be careful, you might accidentally transform him inside out’). She comes from a family of  halfblood ‘blood traitors’ and wears it proudly.

Gina Linetti is the most Slytherin person to ever Slytherin. As the Hogwarts Librarian she’s in the middle of all school gossip, after all the Library is the place for whispered secrets and she has half a dozen listening spells placed in every nook and cranny. She knows everything and it’s gonna cost you to know it too. She finds it a great bonus that as the Librarian she doesn’t actually need to do anything, just put her legs on the table lean back and look over her empire (anything she can’t catalog with a simple spell she can rope a few Ravenclaws into doing for her for ‘extra credit’ ‘ah the power’). No one ever believes that she’s a muggleborn.

Professor Rosa Diaz might have been a Slytherin in another life, but she’s frankly a bit too bloodthirsty and battle hungry for them. Gryffindors however… Gryffindors look at her with stars in their eyes as if she’s the second coming of Godric. She’s the Head of House for the lions because frankly there’s probably no one else who can keep the little monsters in line quite like she can. Her DADA lessons are terrifying and brilliant. Blood status unknown and no one will ever be stupid enough to ask.

Professor Jake Peralta, a clear example of a goodhearted and brave Gryffindor. He’s the Charms professor and it’s a notoriously noisy and chaotic class that’s all about inventiveness and PA-POW of magic. He doubles as the Flying professor for the first years during September and is the one who gets more involved in his house’s Quidditch team’s training because Rosa can’t be trusted not to drive them to boot-camp levels of exhaustion (of course any time they’re playing Slytherin he and Amy go a little overboard with their competitiveness too). He’s a halfblood who grew up in the muggle world alone with his non magical mom (because his absent magical father’s a complete dick). He and Gina have been friends since before Hogwarts.

Professor Charles Boyle is a Hufflepuff and the school’s Potions Professor. He’s actually pretty good with the kids (though the bullies tend to walk all over him until Gina terrifies them into compliance). He’s a decent teacher even though he seems to forget it every new start of the year. His subject is always at least 40% gross and the students (and teachers) are thankful that the House Elves have placed on him a life-long ban on entering the kitchens. He’s a pureblood from a large extended family, the Boyle’s are like garden gnomes, they’re everywhere.

Deputy Headmaster Terry Jeffords is a walking commercial of a Hufflepuff Head of House, his kids adore him and so do basically all the kids from the other houses too. All the first years who are missing home go to him because he always wipes their tears and makes them feel like home, he can shame the meanest bully to tears with just his disappointed face. He’s the Herbology teacher because have you seen most of those plants? They need the hand of a mother-hen just as much as the kids do (and the other professors, because honestly they’re the real children at Hogwarts (they’re the ones who never left after all)). Pureblood and married to a muggleborn witch.

Hogwarts Headmaster Raymond Holt is a Ravenclaw. Before he became the headmaster he taught Arithmancy because he has a terrific memory for numbers (especially numbers that like to move around the way they do when magic gets involved). But he also holds Masteries in Defense Against the Dark Arts and History of Magic. His office is always open for anyone who wants to challenge him to a game of wizard’s chess. He wants Hogwarts to run like a well oiled muggle machine and to make his school be the best magical teaching institution in Europe (certainly better than that Hag Madeline Wuntch’s Durmstrang). A muggleborn who managed to rise his way to the top despite growing up in a time that was even more prejudiced against him than it is now.

Professor Kevin Cozner like his husband is also a Ravenclaw. He’s the Head of House and the Professor of Study of Ancient Runes. His subject is part learning and application of the runes themselves, part philosophy and part history of them. He’s the only professor who actually feels like a professor to the young witches and wizards learning there. Comes from pureblood aristocracy, got disowned and burned off of the family tree for marrying Raymond.

Professors Hitchcock and Scully are both Slytherins and use all the scheming and ambition in them to make sure they have to do as little as possible, which is why they teach History of Magic and Muggle Studies respectively. Hitchcock tends to sleep through his own lessons. And Scully shows kids how to use such extraordinary muggle things like massage chairs, backscratchers and neck pillows. The Headmaster is impatiently waiting to hear that they’re ready to retire because the Hogwarts Board of Governors won’t let him fire them. They’re both from middle class pureblood families.

there’s so much to love about everybody’s other favourite heist movie on paper - talking about the Eternity Code here - but one of my favourite parts is definitely that Artemis’ brilliant plan divides the group in two

because on the one hand you have Holly and Artemis working together like a well-oiled machine and being generally badass and professional (….for once) and just forging their bond of friendship

on the other, there’s Juliet and Mulch basically going “RIDE OR DIE!!? WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO??” and only not failing spectacularly and with a bang because Foaly listens in and meticulously points out everything they’re doing wrong