macaroni-grill

Petition to use Sweden as the new cover-all excuse

“Wanna get Chipotle?”
“And let the tragedy of Sweden repeat itself?  Macaroni Grill it is.”

“Coming with me to the bar tonight?”
“After what happened in Sweden? Couldn’t possibly.”

“Did you finish your homework assignment?”
“Couldn’t bear to after… you know, the Sweden situation.”

Do not criticise my lasagna!

Three years ago I made my wife a lasagna. Sauce from scratch, homemade spinach pasta, expensive cheese, the works. Hours invested - and the return? “You should put more cheese on it like at the Macaroni Grill.”

I went out that night and bought six interior left hand doors. All of our interior doors were right handed. I cut plugs to fill the strike-plate & hinge mortises, and every few weeks I change out a door or two, right hands for left, left for right. It only takes about twenty minutes now: pull the door, plug the mortises, spackle the plug seam, chisel the plug from the opposite side, hang the opposite door and sweep up. I painted the first few times, but it’s a white jamb and I decided the paint smell was more suspicious than the unpainted spackle. It’s a thin seam, and my wife wouldn’t even know where to look.

She’s never said anything about it, but I’ve seen her grasp the air where a doorknob used to be a hundred times. F*ck the macaroni grill.

Petty Revenge: Internet`s best petty revenge stories are here. | credit

YOOOOOO LOOK AT THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE. THIS SHIT IS RIGHT HERE IS CALLED BRUSCHETTA AND ITS GONNA PLEASURE THE EVER LIVING FUCK OUT OF YOUR TASTE BUDS LIKE ITS ITS MOTHERFUCKING JOB. YOU GOT THAT CRISPY GRILLED CIABATTA BREAD, CREAMY ASS WHIPPER RICOTTA, THE RIPEST FUCKIN ROMA TOMATOES YOUVE EVER SEEN , AND MIX THAT SHIT IN WITH GARLIC AND BASIL AND YOU GOT YOURSELF A FUCKIN DISH THATS GONNA MAKE YOU CREAM YOUR PANTS IF YOU AINT CAREFUL 

((ok so i actually posted this a few weeks ago on my insta but i realized i never posted it here so here we go))


ok fun story about this, this started off as a quick sketch at the table at macaroni & grill but i couldn’t finish it before we left so i took the piece of the paper with the unfinished drawing home with me and i was finishing the sketch but then i decided to listen to a Coldplay marathon and it started turning into a more realistic drawing and then it went to tHIS AND I’M NOT EVEN GOOD AT SHADING OR COLORING (ESPECIALLY WITH PENCILS) DO YOU SEE WHAT COLDPLAY DOES TO ME IT’S LIKE CREATIVITY CAFFEINE 💙💜💚💛❤💚💙💜🎨☕


[P L E A S E do not repost without giving me credit. I’d prefer if you asked, but giving me credit is enough. 💕]