macalope

The shipping of fools

The Macalope, currently of Macworld magazine, is one of the sharpest technology writers around and I do not hold it against him that he carries a torch for Apple. Well I wouldn’t, would I? April 1st brings his round up of idiotic comment and prediction from those who should know better, whether they be CEOs or pundits.

Jon Gruber of Daring Fireball (thanks for the heads-up on this, by the way) calls it ‘claim chowder,’ the Macalope himself calls them jackasses … either way it’s the inspired calling out of dismal idiocy. Sample:

Let the Macalope start off by saying that he’s sure most if not all of the individuals on this list are probably very nice people. (Except for Rob Enderle—he’s actually a kind of fish.) So, don’t confuse the Macalope calling them fools with them being bad in general. It’s just that, when it comes to Apple, their opinions seem, well, foolish.

And here’s the whole damn thing to enjoy.

By the way, a late runner coming up [off] the rails was Adobe (already on the list on account of their Flash confusion) with their decision to make their latest version of Android, “Honeycomb,’ – the famously OPEN mobile operating system, well, CLOSED. Shame April didn’t start a couple of days later.

Somehow, in the early 1990s Apple bred a mobile technology killer robot. Cyborg.

No, wait… android. Andy Rubin.

Andyroid.

We’re through the looking glass here, people. It was staring us right in the face the whole time. All the pieces are starting to fall into place.

OK, so Apple makes this Andyroid and, through the mismanagement endemic to the company at the time, it’s released into the wild. Years later, the Andyroid is caught by Microsoft, which reprogrammed and re-released it into the wild—but deliberately. It then gets hired by Google and acts as a Manchurian candidate within the company to funnel millions of dollars to Microsoft for doing jack squat.

Ingenious. The Macalope tips his antlers toward Redmond.

Well, OK, maybe that’s not what happened. But it pretty much worked out that way anyway.

—  Andyroid by The Macalope is more top notch, insightful Apple commentary. As for the dastardly plan described above, it is indeed ingenious!
OK, so Apple makes this Andyroid and, through the mismanagement endemic to the company at the time, it’s released into the wild. Years later, the Andyroid is caught by Microsoft, which reprogrammed and re-released it into the wild — but deliberately. It then gets hired by Google and acts as a Manchurian candidate within the company to funnel millions of dollars to Microsoft for doing jack squat.
—  The Macalope Weekly

It’s working out pretty well so far for us…

macworld.com
It all comes out during the holidays

This week’s Macalope Weekly has a nice recap of the tech spat from earlier this week:

You might want to pay attention to the argument, since it’s a classic of the genre—and one you’re likely to encounter as drunk adults and sugar-addled children sit down around the table this holiday season.

Well, if your family’s anything like the Macalope’s.

See, first MG Siegler said something about Android users in a review of the Galaxy Nexus, and then John Gruber agreed with him, and then Joshua Topolsky got all mad, and then MG fired back, and now Dan Frommer’s chimed in to note that iPhone users are more educated and wealthy (NOT HELPING, DAN) and ugh, are we having pumpkin pie or not?

macworld.com
The Noyes Machine

The Macalope skewers PCWorld’s Katherine Noyes for overturning ‘a tanker truck full of stupid all over the information highway’ – once with her iPad 2 diatribe and again with her tablets are a fad gibberish.

Here’s a taste of the Macalope’s response:

Mark my words: The device—and all the others of its ilk that have sprung up for a piece of the action—are nothing more than a passing fad, at least in the mainstream.

Oh, those words are marked, Katherine. Marked with a big circle around them and the words “KOO-KOO CRAZY BANANAS” written next to them.


I was gouged by the Macalope and Lived

I’m not the most popular journalist among the so-called Mac faithful. I’ve written some tough stuff about Apple over the years, and most of my analyses proved right long after my public lynchings. One of my posts from summer 2009 set off John Gruber, aka “Daring Fireball.” The  blog post was a personal challenge to Apple chief executive Steve Jobs to return to work and do well.

But something about the tone offended MacGruber, who ripped into it. From that point, there was only one point of view from Macheads—that I somehow showed insensitivity to a cancer survivor and liver transplant recipient. Hey, Steve Jobs is a big boy and CEO of a hugely successful company. There also were nasty comments about who was I to challenge the great Mac cult leader. I write for a living. Get a life.

On April 1st, for the Steve Jobs challenge post and some others, I made the Macalope’s “Fools of the Year”, coming in No. 3 on the top-10 list. The anonymous Macalope referred to the “A Personal Challenge to Steve Jobs” post but couldn’t link to it and so concluded: “Wilcox himself apparently decided the post was too jacktastic and has since summarily deleted it.”

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