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“Humor. Skill. Idiocy. Looks. My grandmother used to tell me stories about the old days, a time of peace when the Achievementar kept balance between the Humor Tribes, Skill Kingdom, Idiocy Nation, and Looks Nomads. But that all changed when the Idiocy Nation attacked. Only the Achievementar mastered all four elements. Only he could stop the ruthless stupidbenders. But when the world needed him most, he vanished. A hundred years have passed and the Idiocy Nation is nearing victory in the War. Two years ago, my boss and the people of my tribe journeyed to the Skill Kingdom to help fight against the Idiocy Nation, leaving me and my brother Gavin to look after our tribe. Some people believe that the Achievementar was never reborn into the Looks Nomads, and that the cycle is broken. But I haven’t lost hope. I still believe that somehow, the Achievementar will return to save the world.”

the founding fathers watch hamilton. jefferson is only in the theatre because washington forced him to. alexander hamilton gets kicked out for being too loud and making several specific suggestions as to where jefferson can stick his macaroni-loving ass. “this is my show,” he yells as they drag him away, “it’s about me.” the curtain has not gone up.